She walked over, giving the animals a pat in greeting. “I was eavesdropping. I’m glad he’s ready to work out and there was no issue with the ankle.”
Shadows chased his face, but he nodded. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“Are you?”
He jerked back. “What kind of question is that? Of course I am. I didn’t want him to be hurt.”
Since he’d made the decision to scratch, Aidan had withdrawn into himself. He engaged in conversation, made love to her at night, and pretended nothing had changed. He spoke about winning the Belmont and moving forward, but a spark had died inside of him, and she didn’t know how to get it back. Frustration raged and wiped out her patience.
She’d given him distance. When the vet had confirmed there was no infection, tendonitis, or serious issues, everyone was obviously relieved. But Harper caught the guilt glinting in Aidan’s golden eyes along with the regret. He’d been torturing himself daily over his decision to pull Phoenix from the Preakness. Somehow, he blamed himself for all of them losing the possibility of a Triple Crown. Harper sensed if they didn’t work through it, he’d be endlessly caught in a loop of guilt and regret that would affect all of them.
She tilted her chin and kept her voice steady. “I know you didn’t want him to be permanently hurt, but let’s be honest. If the vet had found something concrete, the decision to scratch would have been justified. Horrible, but easy.”
He shook his head, his lips firmed. “I still didn’t want that. Phoenix and I don’t need easy.”
She softened, stepping toward him. “I know, Irish. But you’re forgetting something important. If I didn’t agree with your decision, I would’ve changed it. My gut told me to scratch. If you had tried to push me, I would’ve pushed back. I could have agreed, then changed my mind right before the race. You did exactly what I had you promise me when we began this partnership—you chose my horse over the win. You not only did your job, you proved you’re a man of worth and trust. A man I happen to love.”
Something broke; a wall shifted and crumbled, allowing her to finally reach him. So she did. She reached out and took him in her arms, this beautiful, strong man who held her heart and chose the well-being of an animal over a country’s obsession with glory.
She squeezed him tight, and then he was kissing her. Their bodies melted together, and the heat surged between them, hot and true and sweet. She kissed him with her whole heart amid the hay and the horses, in the barn that had always been her real home. And suddenly, Harper wasn’t afraid anymore. Not about him leaving or eventually losing him. Not of Phoenix losing. Not of giving her love and trust to a man who could hurt her.
None of it mattered, because she knew she was strong enough to handle it all. Strong enough to risk love and give her heart on her own terms. For the first time since she’d considered taking her life, she realized everything had led to this moment, and a half life filled with security wasn’t a life she wanted any longer.
She wanted so much more.
His big hands cupped her cheeks. “Mo grá,” he whispered against her lips. “My love. My everything—I love you, too. I just didn’t want to disappoint you, not after everything we’ve fought for.”
“You would’ve disappointed me if you had him run,” she said truthfully. “Don’t you know that?”
He gazed at her with gentle amber eyes full of emotion, and slowly nodded, pressing his forehead to hers. “Yes.”
Phoenix snorted and butted them with his head, trying to break them apart. Captain Hoof bounced around their feet, as if asking if they were done with the silly kissing so they could go play in the pasture.
Aidan laughed. “Goofballs,” he said affectionately. “Let’s go. We have one last race to tackle.”
Harper smiled and rubbed Phoenix under the chin. “Ready to go win the Belmont Stakes, sweet boy?”
The sound exploded to the rafters of the barn and stunned them into silence.
She looked down, her heart paused midbeat.
Captain Hoof stared up at them, his proud, honking bleat released into the world in pure goat fashion. Phoenix nuzzled him with his nose, as if surprised at the sound that emanated from him, and Harper grabbed Aidan’s shoulders to steady herself.
“He talked,” she breathed. “Oh my God, he talked.”
Aidan laughed with delight. “Yes, he did. I think the Captain has finally found his voice.”
Another bleat blasted out, the rough, loud, glorious sound better than any Mozart or Beethoven.
They knelt down and hugged him, and Harper knew that sometimes, hope and love and care were enough.
Phoenix won the Belmont Stakes in Long Island, New York, two weeks later in a stunning victory.
The entire family made the trip, and Ethan, Mia, Kyle, and Ophelia crammed together in the stands, cheering him on. Wicked Wind barreled in three lengths behind after winning the Preakness, and Tom Tom performed a heart-stopping close to challenge, but it was Phoenix who was draped in roses, filmed by more than a dozen television cameras, and called one of America’s most-loved horses for his grit and spirit.
They celebrated with a steak-and-champagne dinner, taking the party to their private suite at a fancy hotel. Phoenix got to eat gourmet iced oatmeal cookies from one of New York’s premium bakeries, and Captain Hoof chowed down on organic goat treats flown in by one of his Instagram sponsors.
When they returned to the farm, they were dubbed major celebrities. The town shut down Crystal’s and hosted a huge reception. The cake displayed the winning photo from the Belmont Stakes, with Phoenix mugging for the camera, his face peeking out from lush blooms.
Two weeks later, the chaos began to settle. Normal life took over, driving everyone back to work and school, still filled up from the amazing story that had captured each of them in its spell.
Elmo was the first to leave.
“I’ll be so sad to see you go,” Harper said when the jockey announced it was time for him to move on.
They’d decided to give Phoenix some well-deserved time off before making the next decision. The Travers Stakes in August was a possibility, and she’d received some solid inquiries about breeding. Either way, Elmo craved the next ride, even though the purse money had been substantial enough for him to take a long reprieve. Like Phoenix, he was in it for the love of the game.
“I stay in New York awhile,” Elmo said. “You decide to race him again? Call. I drop everything.”
She hugged him, and Aidan had slapped him on the back before the jockey went off to say a private goodbye to Phoenix.
His departure stirred up the bees’ nest of emotion ready to sting. She hadn’t spoken with Aidan about his own plans. Right now, she had the option of expanding the horse-rescue operation and making a true difference.
But Aidan might need more.
For the first time, she knew she might have to face the truth.
She might not be enough for him.
His fingers gently cupped her chin and turned her to face him. “You okay, love?” he asked, his gentle eyes lit with a golden flame. “I know it’s hard saying goodbye.”
She nodded, too choked up to speak. “He’ll always be family,” she said simply. “But he needs to do what he was born to. Race.”
He smiled, but his hand dropped. The air felt suddenly cold, even under the sting of the summer sun. “Yeah. I have to go into town for a few hours. Need anything?”
“No.”
“Not even those special lemon tarts from Fran?” he teased.
The cloud lifted, and she pushed away the sense of foreboding. Aidan wasn’t in any hurry to leave. Not yet. She smiled back. “Okay, maybe.”
He chuckled and kissed her, his lips lingering on hers.
Aidan walked back to the truck with a few lemon tarts for dessert and thought about surprising Harper with a weekend away. Their schedule had been overrun with horse racing, and it’d be nice to steal a few days away from the animals. God knew he loved the menagerie, but they were like
children. He just had to help her line up a sitter.
Whistling, he set the lemon tarts safely on the seat. His phone rang, and he glanced at the number, frowning. Ireland. One of his brothers? He hit the button and slid in the driver’s seat. “Hello?”
“Aidan O’Connor?”
“Not interested.”
He went to hang up, but the male voice rushed on. “This is Brian Keane. I own Gale Farms in Kildare. We’ve run into each other many times on the circuit.”
“Yes, of course. Sorry, there’s been a lot of calls lately.”
A chuckle. “I bet. Congratulations on your win at the Derby and Belmont. Hell of a horse.”
His heart began to pound, and the familiar gut instinct flared to life. Keane was a power player in the racing world, and owned one of the most prestigious breeding-and-horse farms in Ireland. He worked with a variety of trainers from all over the world and always had an entry in a big stakes race. Colin had always insisted once Keane noticed them, their business would explode. They’d stalked him for years, and though he was polite, he’d never seemed interested in the small local partnership.
“Yes, he is. It’s been a pleasure to train him.”
“I was surprised at your decision to scratch at the Preakness. Most trainers would’ve pushed.”
His mind flickered to that life-changing moment in the stalls. For so long, he’d regretted not waiting longer, or trying to ice the ankle first, or retaining a second opinion. But he knew deep down it didn’t matter. It was one of those decisions that was made with no guarantee of right or wrong. Finally he’d realized, after speaking with Harper, that he’d done the only thing he could at the time. And he’d do it again. It was the difference between him and Colin and maybe some other trainers who focused so completely on the win, they forgot their most important job of all.
The horse.
He’d finally proved to himself winning wasn’t everything. Finally, the taunting inner voice inside him had gone silent.
“Yes, I’m sure they would have. I don’t regret it. Pushing a young horse too far and too fast is dangerous. I’m not that kind of trainer.”
“That’s what I was hoping.” Brian paused, as if gathering his thoughts. “I have a new horse I’ve been personally keeping a close eye on. A spirited filly named Run for the Roses. She’s sired from Hal’s Prince. And I think she’s special.”
Aidan whistled. Hal’s Prince was a legend, with speed and power all packed into a relatively small body. Watching him run the track was a gift. “Who’s been working with her?”
“No one. Just me. This one is . . . different. Ever get a gut feeling about a horse? Like you just know something big is going to happen?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. I lived my whole life looking for the next hit.”
“I have an impressive roster of some of the best trainers in the world, and no one seems to fit. And then I watched you with Phoenix this past season. After you made the decision to scratch, I realized you’re the one I want to train my horse. I need a trainer with heart, because this little filly has it. I think you’re the perfect match.”
Shock filled him. Yes, he’d known his wins with Phoenix had finally put him on the map. Yes, he figured one day he’d return to Ireland and have his pick of decent horses to train. But he’d never imagined Brian Keane would give him an opportunity to work with him. His mind clicked over the options and settled on the most important question of all. “When would you need me?”
“Right away. I’ll send you some videos to help make your decision. I want you on my team, Aidan. I think we can make history together. I’d love to set up a meeting. Are you still in New York?”
“Yeah, I hadn’t made any plans to leave yet. I’m humbled by the offer. Let me take a look at the video, do some thinking, and get back to you.”
They clicked off. Aidan waited, staring at the phone for a while until the file arrived. He opened it up and watched.
A beautiful gray filly raced down the track. The camera angles moved to catch each side of her as she did a full loop. Legs moved like the wind. Her silvery coat caught the glint of the sun and shimmered over her like a diamond in the rough. But it was her face that stopped his breath. Oh, the joy and fierceness as she lowered her head and ran free, her entire focus on the road ahead and how fast she could get there. Shivers broke out on his skin. His throat tightened. And the voice deep inside his gut, which had been silent for more than a year, rose up inside and whispered that he was looking at his next horse.
With shaking hands, he threw the phone down and grasped the steering wheel.
No.
He wasn’t ready to go back. Harper and Phoenix had quieted the raw edges of his soul and made him happy. He wanted endless time to enjoy the farm and help her expand the rescue portion. He wanted to watch Phoenix grow and see where his path led—whether it be competitive racing, breeding, or a combination. He wanted to help with the new volunteers for the summer and train them properly. He wanted—
Harper. It all revolved around Harper.
He groaned and rubbed his face. Funny, he’d never seen this coming. Didn’t expect to find an opportunity that called to his sense of challenge and purpose in the horse world. But he’d warned her about his wandering spirit. Had it only been temporarily silenced while he was here? Was it just a part of his heart that even love couldn’t tame? And yet . . . the idea of leaving her behind battered his very soul.
What was he going to do?
He sat in the parking lot for a long time, going over the options, but was able to make only one important decision.
He’d tell her about Brian Keane and his offer. He refused to hide anything under the guise of not wanting to hurt her. She deserved the truth, even if it broke him apart to tell her. Because he was terrified that if she asked if he wanted to go, he’d say the wrong answer.
Yes.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Harper stared at her clasped hands resting on the table.
He had to leave.
The admission curled through her body like an actual pain, but she made sure it never showed on her face. He’d been honest. She knew he loved her. But after she watched the video, she realized the man she loved didn’t just belong to her. He belonged to the road he’d chosen to follow—a road that led him to nurture and care for horses. Phoenix wouldn’t have accomplished any of it without Aidan. The care, patience, and love came from his very soul.
He was so like her. Only her path had stopped right here, on her mother’s land, with the animals she saved every day. She couldn’t run off to Ireland with him. She’d chosen differently. She’d always sensed he was a temporary gift in her life, and he’d never pretended to be someone he wasn’t.
And in that moment, Harper realized she loved him enough to let him go.
“Irish, this is an opportunity of a lifetime,” she said, finally able to look up and gaze into his beloved face. “This past year with Phoenix has taught you so much. You’re ready. She has the same fire and drive that makes a winner. How can you not go?”
His gaze narrowed, and she caught a flash of temper. “Well, I can give you a ton of reasons, but how about I stick with just one?” He leaned forward. She caught the lines creasing his eyes and mouth, the rough edge of stubble clinging to his jaw, the sharp blade of his nose and flaring nostrils. “You.”
Emotion choked her, but she fought through. If he stayed, she’d always wonder if he had regrets. God knew she could live with anything but the what-ifs, especially with the man she loved. “I know. I’m not going to lie and pretend I want you to leave, Aidan. When you get on that plane, my heart will break, but I also know this is who you are. Just like you once told me. My life is here, at the farm. I can’t ask you to stay.”
“Yes, you can.” That glorious male temper was him fighting for her—for them.
She rose from the chair and went to him, sliding into his lap and burying her face against his neck. He held her tight, and they stayed locked togethe
r for a while before either of them was able to speak. Finally, she lifted her head and ran a finger down his rough cheek. “You have to go,” she whispered. “If you don’t follow your heart, you may regret it and blame me down the road. I’d rather die than have that.”
“I don’t know if I can leave you.”
His broken voice almost destroyed her. She tipped his chin back and forced him to look at her. She smiled and kissed his beautiful lips, drowning in his scent. “We had a hell of a run, Irish. I’ll always love you. But you have to go.”
With a growl, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. They made love with a fierce tenderness. Each thrust held the rough edge of desperation, fueling the intensity between them, and when they shattered together, they held each other through the long hours of the night, refusing to part.
A week later, Aidan stood in the barn, prepared for his final goodbye.
He now realized why he’d refused to become attached to anyone, why he refused to share his true self with anyone other than a horse.
It was too damn heartbreaking.
Ophelia had hosted a farewell dinner with enough food to last him for days. Afterward, they’d all gathered in the living room to watch Coco, and when he heard the haunting strains of the song “Remember Me,” he’d almost lost his man card.
Disney was no joke.
Now he stood in the damp interior with the scents of hay and wood and mud, and made his final trek to Phoenix’s stall.
The horse pushed his nose out.
“Hey, mo chára, I got something for you.” He unlatched the gate and walked inside. The horse gave him a nice bump, raising his chin automatically for the love. Aidan laughed and gave him the affection he craved, rubbing all the spots he adored, then waited for him to detect the treat.
A few moments later, he nosed toward his pocket, those lips curling back to retrieve his iced oatmeal cookie. Aidan watched him eat, as he’d done a thousand times before, every movement and breath a part of his daily routine that he cherished.
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