One of the men in camouflage declared, “Welcome back to the living, Puck!”
Ross lowered his head into his hands. It was a painfully inappropriate comment to make. Alan said, “Wow, that guy looks like he’s going to be sick.”
The man in camouflage slapped an arm around Puck’s shoulder and softly spoke a mea culpa. “Aw, shit, man, I’m sorry. Stupid of me.”
Puck’s response was inaudible, buried in the call of one of the other friends for a round of beers from Jake. The bartender smiled and tried to sound cheerful. “It is good to see you back, Puck.”
Alan followed Ross’s gaze. “Do you know them? You’re acting like you either know them, or you think at least one of them is the hottest guy you’ve seen recently.”
Alan was closer to the target than Ross wanted him to know. “The guy in the parka is named Puck.”
“Like in hockey?”
“Yep, like in hockey. Puck.”
“How do you know? Does he live in your apartment complex or something?”
The thought hadn’t occurred to Ross. It was possible that they lived in the same apartment complex. He only knew two other people that lived in the building. He met both of them while hauling garbage to the dumpster. They needed a little extra help, and he happily volunteered his services.
“I don’t think so. I met him at the grocery store.”
“Uh oh. The gay singles bar of small towns.”
“What?”
“You’ve never heard that? Since small towns don’t usually have gay bars, the grocery store can be one of the best places to meet guys. It happens all the time, or so they say. One guy drops the box of mac and cheese on the floor, and the new acquaintance bends down to pick it up. That’s like saying yes to a first date.”
Puck still looked uncomfortable. His hand trembled as he raised a bottle of beer to his lips. Then he pulled out his cell phone and stared intently at the screen.
Ross shook his head and turned his attention back to Alan. “I never heard that. Maybe I should spend more time at the grocery store. I’m not meeting guys anywhere else.”
“So what happened when you met…Puck?”
“He was cradling an adorable baby in one arm while he tried to carry groceries in the other. I learned when my sister had her baby that you can’t do that. Grocery stores have baskets and carts for that situation. Trying to balance with your hands is a recipe for disaster.”
“Let me guess. The baby cried, and he dropped the groceries.”
Ross nodded. “That’s a pretty good assessment. He was embarrassed, and he looked exhausted, so I helped him get things under control. I dangled my keys for Addie.”
“Addie?”
“The name of the baby.”
Alan swallowed a mouthful of the beer. “Wow, you remember a lot of details.” He focused his attention on Puck for a moment. “I guess he’s not so bad looking, but he looks like those guys I tried to avoid in high school. I’m sure Coldbrook Bend has a few of them, too.”
“The guys you tried to avoid?”
“Yeah, the ones that called me, ‘Little fag soldier,’ or worse. Every new place my dad got stationed had guys who looked like Puck living in the nearby town. Enough of them were openly hostile that I learned to avoid them. I had enough problems fitting in with the other military brats on the base.”
“Damn, that sucks. I guess there are some good things about living in a town with only one stoplight. Kids figured me out by junior high. I couldn’t hide it, and they treated me like anybody else. Of course, I loved to paint, hated sports, and built sets for the drama club. I might as well have worn a name tag that said, ‘Hello, I’m gay.’”
Alan chuckled softly. “Why does Puck look so nervous? Was he like that at the grocery store?”
Ross told Alan a short version of what he heard in the parking lot. “This might be the first time he’s been out since he brought the baby home. I can’t imagine what it would be like losing your wife so soon after the child is born. It’s enough of a change to have a baby come along. Then you have to do it on your own without somebody else helping out.”
“Shit, and having to deal with grief.” Alan sipped his beer in silence. He looked across the room at Puck again and watched him nod while holding his bottle just an inch from his lips. He held it like a tiny shield protecting his face from the rest of the world.
Ross said, “I hope he’s doing okay.”
One of the men in camouflage raised his bottle. “A toast…to our best buddy. We missed you!”
Puck raised a hand to wave off the attention. He took a step backward to create more personal space. After swallowing the rest of his beer, Puck spoke to the man near his right shoulder. His voice was too soft to understand. Then he turned and headed to the restroom in the rear of the bar.
Ross leaned in close to Alan and asked, “Would it be horribly inappropriate to follow him to the men’s room?”
“Why on earth would you do that?”
“I want to make sure he’s okay.”
“With all due respect, Ross, don’t you think he would have come over here to say hi if he wanted to talk to you?”
“Maybe he didn’t notice.”
Alan shook his head. “I guess you do have a way of charging right into a situation whether you’re invited or not. I remember when you introduced yourself to me here at the Corner Hitch.”
“I wasn’t that bad, was I?”
“You invited me to your place about ten minutes after meeting me.”
“Aww, shit,” said Ross. “Now you make me sound like a slut.”
“To be fair, it was an invitation to go swimming. Maybe you were only trying to be friends, but then again, maybe you wanted to see…”
“I thought you were hot. Diego’s a lucky guy.”
Alan blushed. “Well, thank you, and now that we’re friends, you’re not so bad yourself. You look like you walked out of an ad for Minnesota tourism with a caption, ‘Scandinavian men of solid stock.’”
Ross rolled his head back and laughed. He pushed his chair away from the table and said, “I’m going to use the restroom.”
When Ross stepped through the door, Puck was busy splashing water on his face in the lavatory. He stopped in mid-motion and said, “Hey, sorry. I’ll get out of your way. It’s a little cramped in here. I just needed to wake myself up.”
Ross looked over his shoulder into the mirror. “Do you remember who I am?”
Puck feigned surprise and pointed at the reflection. His index finger shook. “Ross! The guy from the grocery store. Yeah, I remember you now.”
“How’ve you been doing? How’s Addie?”
Puck turned around. “Did you follow me in here to ask that? You could have asked at the bar.”
For a moment, Ross wondered if he should make up a story. Instead, he decided to be honest. “Yeah, I guess I did. I didn’t know how to ask with all your buddies around.”
Puck’s gaze was intense. Ross couldn’t stop staring. Puck’s voice dropped to a whisper. “No, couldn’t be…”
“Couldn’t be what? And is Addie okay? It must be hellishly tough to do that all on your own.”
Puck reached out both hands and gripped the sides of Ross’s face. “Forgive me for this.”
Ross held his breath while Puck leaned forward and kissed his lips. It wasn’t a simple peck. It was something passionate and desperate. When it was over, Puck looked more haggard than before.
Ross’ throat felt dry and cottony as he attempted to speak, “What? Why did…”
Puck placed one hand on Ross’s chest pushing him away. He growled, “That didn’t happen. I’ve got to go. Addie’s fine.” He pushed the restroom door open and disappeared.
Ross gasped as he attempted to catch his breath. It all happened so fast. Ross wasn’t sure if it was true. He knew that Alan wouldn’t believe him.
5
The Kiss
For two weeks straight, Puck rejected invitations from his frien
ds to go out almost every other day. Finally, he caved in to pressure and decided to join a group of four friends at the Corner Hitch for a drink. His buddy Gil said, “You need some fresh air. You can only use the weather as an excuse for another month or so. I won’t stop asking you, but the other guys might give up. I don’t want to be blunt, but if you want to keep your friends, it’s about time to come up for air.”
When he decided to accept the invitation, Puck scrambled to find a sitter for Addie that he trusted. He asked at daycare for recommendations, and he settled on Mrs. Peck, a sweet, older woman who lived in his neighborhood. She stopped by in the evening for a brief interview, and she cooed over Addie while expressing zero trepidation over Puck’s desire to leave a camera on so that he could check in on Addie with a cell phone app any time that he wished.
Mrs. Peck said, “Today you can never be too safe. It’s a crazy world out there. Please call any time while you’re out, too. Children are a treasure.”
After the tragic death, Gil stopped by Puck’s house three different times to check up on his friend, but he was the only friend Puck had seen since. When he thought about seeing four friends at once, Puck felt like he was going to walk out into the bright glare of sunlight after seeing a movie at 2:00 in the afternoon.
All four of Puck’s friends were waiting for him on the sidewalk outside of the bar when he arrived at the Corner Hitch. Gil said, “We didn’t want to blow the place up until you got here.”
“Can we keep it a little low-key tonight? I’m not back in the groove yet.”
Fortunately, the guys were on their best behavior as they filed into the bar, and they were relatively quiet. Puck needed a slow, steady re-entry, and he was pleased to see his friends comply with his wishes.
When one of the guys offered a toast, and Puck heard the clink of the beer bottles, it set his nerves on edge again. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew that he needed a few minutes alone. He excused himself to go the men’s room to try and pull his act together again. He knew that if he could handle another thirty minutes or so, he could gracefully excuse himself and return home to Addie for the rest of the night.
Puck stared into the mirror in the restroom. Even with the relatively dim light available, he could still see the persistent dark shadows under his eyes. He’d grown to hate them and feared that they were permanent. He even toyed with the idea of trying to search for Miranda’s concealer and see what he could do to patch up his appearance. Unfortunately, that would require spending time in their bedroom, and he wasn’t ready to do that.
After taking care of his business at the urinal, he returned to the lavatory to scrub his hands clean. Splashing water on his face, Puck knew that he’d done his best to clear both his body and mind before returning to his friends. He jumped when the door to the restroom swung open. He assumed it was Gil checking to make sure there wasn’t a man passed out in the stall.
Staring into the mirror, Puck was shocked by the face that appeared over his shoulder. The man was handsome, blonde, and blue-eyed.
Later, Puck couldn’t remember which occurred to him first. He didn’t know if he recognized Ross first as the man who offered help at the grocery store or as the figure in his dreams. Willing the sudden trembling of his hands to stop, Puck grinned and told Ross he remembered him from the grocery store.
He was as friendly as he’d been at the grocery store, but appearing in the men’s room was odd. Aimless chit chat started to pass between them when something strange happened inside Puck. He wondered later if something in his mind suddenly snapped from all of the stress. The circumstances of the dream began to take over.
Puck tried to shake it from his thoughts, but some sensation deep down told him that the dream was a glimpse of destiny. The feeling rattled him to his core. He felt helpless as he looked into Ross’s blue eyes.
Reaching out trembling hands, Puck touched the handsome face. He knew the gesture was the first lurch forward of a runaway train. In the next seconds, he kissed a man who was nearly a total stranger, and then he asked for forgiveness.
It would have been easy to dismiss the kiss as an act of temporary insanity, but something about it felt right. The softness and taste of Ross’s lips wasn’t a surprise. They were both comforting and exciting.
Ross stood still with an expression of shock on his face. He didn’t kiss back, but he allowed the kiss to happen. He parted his lips, and the tips of their tongues touched.
As he pulled back, Puck’s reality returned like a harsh slap across the face. He muttered, “That didn’t happen,” and, “Addie’s fine,” before exiting from the men’s room and returning to his buddies.
For the rest of the evening, Puck kept his eyes glued to his friends and ignored any other activity in the Corner Hitch. He didn’t want to know what happened to Ross. He wanted to forget the entire encounter.
Gil asked, “Did you have to do number one, two and three in there? I thought we would have to check on you, but I saw that other guy go in there, and I figured he would report back on any bathroom carnage.”
“I’m getting tired. I can’t hang out for too much longer, but it’s great to see you guys again. I mean that.”
Treat, dressed in lumberjack gear, put his arm around Puck’s shoulders and slapped him on the chest. “It has to be rough, but going out is like climbing back on the bicycle of life. You know how to do it. You never forget, and it’s a breeze once you get started again. We’re here for you, buddy, and I can’t wait to see that little girl of yours.”
Puck breathed a sigh of relief. Addie was an easy conversation topic. “She’s doing so great. The doctors said her growth rate is above normal, and she doesn’t cry much. I’m able to get some good sleep almost every night.”
“The proud papa,” said Treat. “Three of us have kids now. Can you believe that shit? It’s the last thing I would have dreamed about in high school, and Skyler is three now. He’s the world. Now we have to think about putting him in preschool. He’s going to cost us a fortune, but it’s worth it.”
Gil shook his head. “You all are way too domestic for me. I’m going to squeeze the good out of the single life a little longer.”
Puck worried that conversation about specific wives and girlfriends would follow on the heels of the kid talk. He didn’t think he could handle the thoughts of Miranda that would sweep back into his mind. He knew that he couldn’t talk about her. Puck felt nauseous as he began to think about it and shifted uncomfortably from one leg to another.
“Are you doing okay, buddy?”
“I’m fine. I just think I need to head home. You guys are all great, but it’s hard to leave the little one for this long.”
When he climbed into his car ready for the drive home, Puck finally felt safe again. He wasn’t exposed to the world, and he knew that he would soon be home in his living room with Addie. He could cuddle her to his chest and forget about everybody else.
As Puck pulled up to a stoplight just a few blocks from home, blue Christmas lights still hanging from the roof line of a house to his right made him think about Ross’s eyes. They weren’t sky blue. They were a striking, almost aqua ocean blue. Puck bit his lip out of shock that he noticed such a thing.
Then there was the kiss. Ross’s lips were soft, but they weren’t like a woman’s. It was something different even though it felt good. Puck wished they had hugged although that would only make him feel even more disturbed about his actions. Maybe kissing Ross was another part of the unraveling of his life that began with Miranda’s dramatic death. The thought made Puck shudder.
As he pulled into his driveway, a warm glow of light shone through the curtains pulled shut over the living room window. Mrs. Peck, the sitter, greeted Puck at the door with Addie tucked into her elbow. She waved Addie’s little right arm and nudged her cheek against Addie’s saying, “Daddy’s back! It’s great to see your daddy.”
Mrs. Peck beamed and handed Addie to Puck. He held the baby close kissing both cheeks and listening
to the soft giggles of his little girl. Puck exhaled The world was okay again. Someone essential was missing from the picture, but at least Addie was still safe.
“Thank you so much for watching her. I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.”
“How could such a dear, sweet baby be any trouble? I hope you had a good time with your friends.”
“We had fun. I hadn’t seen most of them since before Christmas. It’s always good to catch up.”
Mrs. Peck nodded and folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t want to butt into your private life, but you need to learn how to be social again, too. Tonight was a great step forward. Remember that you’re a model for your little girl. She’s always watching. You’re the biggest influence in her life.”
Puck tensed again. He already hoped that nobody was watching when he kissed Ross. He was worried that somehow Miranda had seen it, and the rest of the world would find out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before doing his best to smile at Mrs. Peck. “I’m always doing my best.”
“Well, she is an adorable one. If her sweet disposition is any sign, you are a perfect father. I love the little ones, and I couldn’t have asked for a better evening. Caring for little Addie is an honor.”
6
Slick
Rhea spent most of the morning trying to convince Ross to leave early. She was Diego’s secretary and technically Ross’s immediate supervisor. “It’s only going to get worse. The weather forecast says it will warm up just enough this afternoon to change the snow to freezing rain. That will make the roads even more treacherous. Get out now. I can take care of things.”
“What about you? You’ve got a long drive up to Red Wing. What will you do?”
Rhea shrugged. “I’ve got this deadline for Mr. Flores. I’ll curl up on the little couch in his office if I need to. Don’t worry about me. I’ll stay off the roads if they get worse. I don’t have any emergencies to take care of at home.”
River Town Box Set Page 34