by Jason Zandri
“Nah,” Tim said. “You can stay with the girls.” He grinned and looked back. Michael shook his fist playfully. “I’ll keep them all warm.” Lesley Patterson, his girlfriend, shoved him at the remark.
Tim looked over at his girlfriend Patti, and then he turned to Matthew, who came around the van.
“Hi Liz,” Matthew said to her as she approached the van.
Tim looked into the van to see Melissa scowl while she looked past Carrie and Alecia.
“So, I see you’re all headed to the beach as well,” she said, overtly adjusting her top. Matthew followed her hands with his eyes.
Carrie gave Melissa a slight shove and pointed. Melissa turned back, looked at her, and whispered in a harsh tone. “What?”
Tim stuck his head back into the van part way to listen.
“She’s going to bait him,” Carrie said quietly. “She’ll find out where we’re going; do you really want her there?”
“Not really my business,” Melissa said just as quietly. Alecia leaned in. “I have a new boyfriend now and—”
“And nothing,” Alecia said. “Paul was conveniently around and asked you to the movies when Chris pulled that bullshit stunt. I’ve never understood why you and Matthew never got together.”
“I know why,” Carrie said in a hushed tone. Patti listened in as well. “It’s like Alecia said, you never really give him the chance. You end one boyfriend and end up with another one asking you to a movie or skating or something.”
“So it’s my fault that I like to go out and do things with boys?” Melissa asked with narrowed eyes.
“It’s not that. You just never give him the chance,” Patti said, and held her hands up, palms out.
“We’ve been friends for years,” Melissa said, looking over at Matthew. “I never considered it much and always figured if he liked me more than friends he’d say something.” Her tone changed slightly. “He never has.”
“That’s what we’re saying,” Carrie said. “You’re never giving him the chance. You are good friends; he knows that too. He doesn’t want to ruin that, so when a chance opens, he treads lightly, but before he takes a chance you’re out to pizza with the next boy.”
Melissa didn’t respond immediately. She continued to focus on Matthew and Liz. She watched him look at her, and then looked up and down her figure herself. “If I stepped out of the van now, he wouldn’t even see me.”
Alecia looked over at Matthew. “You have a boyfriend now; he knows that. He’s not going to challenge.”
“Liz has a boyfriend too. More than one, for that matter.” Melissa glared.
“Not stopping him from looking at her like that.” Self-conscious, she pulled at her bathing suit top. “Maybe if I looked that … healthy …”
“Pay better attention, girl,” Patti said with a snap in her voice, undoing her sandy blond hair and pulling it back into a ponytail. “He looks at Liz like that when he sees her; when she’s front and present. Take a better look at him at other times. That look in his eyes; it’s always there for you, whenever someone mentions your name, even when you’re nowhere around.”
Tim took a couple of steps back.
Liz reached up and gave Matthew a quick hug. “I’m sure we’ll run into you,” she said, letting go and turning to look into the van through the windshield. She smiled directly at Melissa, and then turned to walk away.
Mark exited the store from the main door and walked toward the boys.
“Live it up,” he called out warmly. “Summer is almost over, and then it’s back to the grind.”
“Hi Dad,” Matthew said and turned to walk up. He glanced over to watch Liz head back to her car. “Can we pay for some ice to keep the sodas cold?”
he asked while Tim followed.
“No,” Mark said. Tim and Matthew stopped dead in their tracks and turned to look at one another. “When have I ever charged you for the ice?”
“Man,” Tim said. “I never get used to your dry humor, sir.”
“I like that you boys always ask to pay. It’s the right thing to do,” Mark said.
“Is my Dad here yet?” Tim asked while they all continued over to the ice machine.
“Not yet,” he said. “He’s been working a lot; we’ve had a full schedule for weeks now, but his back bothered him. I told him to rest up a little this morning, and that I would tackle the first couple of cars in myself.”
Tim turned his head a little, “Thank you for that, Mr. Sanford; I know he appreciates it.” Tim looked over at the cars in the side lot. “I see you’re selling some used cars now.” He set the cooler down.
“Yes,” Mark said, and then diverged away from the boys and headed to the garage bay. Over his shoulder, he said, “We finally got that dealer license we needed, and I picked those up at auction last weekend. Your father has a keen eye; saved me from some potential lemons.”
“Didn’t you sell some cars before, Dad?” Matthew asked, shoveling ice into the cooler.
“We have been for a couple of years now, but it’s been under the maximum since we didn’t have the license to do more. Diane got everything together for me at the state—forms and such, which allows us to sell more of
them legally.”
Another car pulled into the pump area at the north side of the store.
Matthew looked over to Liz, who finished pumping her fuel. He then looked back at the fuel pumps on the north side of the property and closed the lid to the cooler. “How are the new pumps on that side working out?” He flipped his thumb over his shoulder.
“Good.” Mark stopped at the door to the garage. “People heading up and down Ward Street favor them, and it keeps some of the congestion down at the front of the store.” Mark glanced at the girls, who’d stepped out of the van to stretch their legs. “Not for anything, guys,” he said. “I’m amazed that the girls’ fathers let you three boys take off with their daughters in a van to the beach.”
“Dad!” Matthew said while Tim chuckled.
“Kidding,” Mark said. “But you do have five of them in there; safety in numbers, I suppose.”
“We’re eighteen.” Matthew pointed at himself and then Tim. “Heck, Tim will be nineteen soon.”
“And aren’t the girls seventeen?” Mark asked.
“Well … yeah. They’ll all be eighteen over the next few months,”
Matthew said.
Mark waved his hands. “I’m joshing with you guys; you’re good boys …”
Mark paused for a moment. “Well, I guess, ‘men’ now. You’re good men; you do the right things, and you treat people well. You work hard. I shouldn’t make light of that.” He smiled. “Have a good day at the beach today.”
Matthew and Tim turned and picked up the full cooler together. Mark headed inside, as the two of them headed over to the van.
“So I guess Liz is headed to the beach as well?” Tim asked.
“Yeah,” Matthew said. “Donna and Marie were in her car. They were going to Rocky Neck.”
“Were?” Tim glanced sideways at Matthew.
“Well, when I told them we were heading to Misquamicut, Liz said she’d head there as well,” Matthew said.
Tim slowed his pace and tugged backward on the ice chest.
“What?” Matthew asked.
“That’s going to go over like rocks in a boat with Melissa.” Tim set the chest down.
Matthew looked over at the van. Melissa looked at him past Carrie and
Alecia, who had stepped outside. “Look, we’ve all known each other since we were little; you guys more than me. Melissa has a boyfriend anyway. And Liz … well … Liz is Liz. She’s not going out with a guy like me when she has the pick of the litter. Heck, she never sticks to one anyway; she has more than one. I’m not interested in being one of many.”
“Even if it means being with Liz?” Tim asked.
“Well …” Matthew tugged forward with the cooler. “I wouldn’t say no; you’re right about that. If I could get her out on
a date, I might ask. I will tell you, there’s no way I’m competing over a girl. I feel like I’m a nice person and fun to be around. They should be able to see that; I see those same good qualities in them.”
Tim just nodded at his friend.
“Donna is nice,” Matthew said. “I thought it might be fun, with a bigger gang at the beach, and that it might give me a chance to talk to Donna … you know, maybe sit with her a while and such.”
Tim nodded again as they reached the van and dropped the cooler inside the side slider door.
“We all set?” Michael asked.
“Yep,” Matthew said, looking about the vehicle. “Anyone need to use the bathroom in the store before we get going?”
Michael groaned. Upon Matthew’s comment, all the girls hopped out of the van.
***
The girls made their way out of the bathroom in the store and Melissa hung back near the counter. Carrie looked at her. “I’ll be right out.” Melissa waved at her and headed over to her sister.
Mark walked into the office, which gave her space should she want a quick, private conversation with Diane.
Melissa tugged at her pullover a little and looked at Diane, who stood with a smug look on her face.
“What?” Melissa asked, sounding annoyed.
“I find it somewhat ironic how many times I stand at this counter to find you coming to me for advice,” Diane said in a soft tone.
“Why is it ironic?” Melissa asked.
“Because it’s always about boys, and you’ve dated more than I ever did.”
“Well, maybe … yes,” Melissa said, then glanced out at Matthew and flashed the “one-minute” signal to him. “The numeric value hasn’t granted
me any additional wisdom. Besides, it’s not as if I can ask Mom. She certainly can’t help.”
Diane’s look toned down a little at her younger sister’s comment. She glanced out the window at Matthew, and then turned back to Melissa. “I have to scratch that,” she said. “While you tend to ask some advice about boys, it’s not so much about them in general. It always seems to be about Matthew.”
Melissa looked over at him and bit her lip. Her expression turned soft and timid. “He’s so nice to me; he always has been. I don’t even function well around him. He’s so calm and cool around everyone. I don’t know what to say to him half the time anymore. I want to say everything and I never can.
I’m so worried I’ll ruin everything if I pursue anything that I never do. I never let him. I make sure I stay away from him when I’m not with another boy.”
“But why, Missy?” Diane asked. “If he makes your heart so light that it floats away on its own … don’t you want to try to capture that?”
“I do,” she said with tears welling up in her eyes. “Almost since the day I met him in fifth grade, you know, once I started to like boys and all.” She turned and looked out the window to see him again. When he turned to look back in, she looked away and back at Diane. “What if I did, and things didn’t work out? What if we ruined the friendship going forward from the end of that?”
“Loving anyone that much is a huge risk,” Diane said.
“I don’t know if I would live. I would die if I couldn’t have him in my life at all.” Melissa wiped away a stray tear.
“You won’t die from heartbreak,” Diane said, trying to sound reassuring.
“But it will likely hurt.”
“The way I feel when he’s around … I’d rather have that at a distance than to have it end somehow.”
Diane sighed. “You’re a smart girl, Missy. I guess, technically, after your birthday, I’ll have to call you a woman. Regardless, you know there is no right thing to do. You’re not leading him on, so there’s nothing to fix or correct. You simply need to ask yourself ‘what do you want’ and then make a choice. I wish I could offer you more advice than that.”
Melissa walked a little closer to the door so that none of the boys would come in looking for her. A car pulled in, so she rushed out her thoughts, “Is that what you did? With Mark?”
“Yes,” she said softly, looking back at the hallway leading down to the
office. “The jury is still partly out on that, I suppose. He’s only come along so far.”
“But you risked more than just the friendship that started with him; you risked your job as well.”
“Yes.” Diane smiled.
“And if it all blew up? Would you change what you did and how you did it?” Melissa asked, with her hand on the door.
“No,” Diane said. “I might have risked and lost it all, but now—at thirty years old—I don’t have to sit here and ask myself ‘what if?’ I am here now, and I know that answer.”
Melissa let her finish, and then made her way toward the door.
“Hey,” Diane called to her. Melissa stopped short. “Matthew is special.
It’s a safer risk.”
“How so?” Melissa asked.
“Regardless of how it might go, unless one of you was completely horrible to the other, like a full break in trust or something, you will always be in each other’s life.”
“How are you so sure?” Melissa asked.
“Because of all the things that have happened over the years, with all of us—” Diane waved her finger around in a circle. “—Because of the kind of boy he’s been and the man he’s become. Because of how you are and how you feel … even if the two of you somehow don’t stay in love with one another, assuming it goes there; you will always love each other.”
Melissa wiped another loose tear away, then headed out the door to rejoin her friends.
CHAPTER TWO
The August summer sun moved high into the sky and Michael, Tim, and Matthew moved from the water back over to the blankets where everyone was sitting and laying out.
Liz sat up next to Marie and Donna. “How was the water?” she asked while she pulled her red hair back tighter in the ponytail, and then glanced over at Matthew, still making his way up.
“Not too bad really,” Tim said and took a seat next to Patti. “It’s never super warm, but it’s a good break from the ninety-plus degrees … Hey, Sandman!” Tim yelled over to Matthew, who still lagged behind.
Matthew looked up at him, and Tim shouted, “We should come again tomorrow with whoever is off. It’s going to be hot again, and the summer is nearly over.” Tim looked back over at everyone nearby. “Anyone in?”
Marie looked at Donna, then shrugged, “Wouldn’t kill me to come again.
Liz, can you drive again?”
Liz paused for a moment. “I’m not sure. Maybe.” She looked up at Matthew, who finally came all the way over. “Matthew,” she said, leaning in a little further and allowing her suit top to hang. “I like the idea of all going in one car; is there enough room in the van?”
“Mike …” Matthew looked over and stretched his arms up over his head.
“You said you were out for tomorrow … you have to work?”
Michael looked on while Lesley said, “Me too. Well, not work, but I have to help my mother with some stuff during the afternoon, so I’m out as well.
But I’m in the next time for sure.”
Matthew looked over at Donna, “Can you come with us tomorrow? I could come by and pick you up?”
Donna gave Matthew a bright smile, which drew Melissa’s attention.
“Um … I think so,” Donna said, and although she sounded reserved, she looked as if she had to hold back a grin. “I would have to double check with my mother, but I can’t think of a reason I can’t go.”
Matthew grabbed his wallet from inside his sneakers, which sat next to his bag on the beach. He took a pen out of the bag, but then tossed it back, and pulled a business card from his wallet. “This is my number at home in my room. Give me a call when you get home tonight; I’ll take your number then, and we can square up the details for tomorrow.”
Donna looked at the business card. “You have a line in your bedroom?”
> “Well, I pay for it with the money I earn mowing the lawns,” he said, and
pride lit his eyes. “Speaking of which,” he said and turned to Tim. “We can bag the lawns tomorrow to come to the beach again, but it’s supposed to rain over the weekend. I’m going to need your help on Friday to finish up all the work.”
Tim flashed a “thumbs up” and leaned in and kissed Patti, playfully tipping her over. Melissa watched the two of them kiss.
Liz glanced over at Matthew’s business card in Donna’s hand. Slowly, she slid over to Matthew. “Can I have one? I didn’t know your father set you up with a business already.”
“Oh no,” Matthew said, looking uncomfortable. “It’s nothing that formal.
I started cutting lawns, and I bought a trailer to hook up to the van to haul the mowers around. I got cards made because people kept asking for my information and that was easier. I pay the insurance for liability and such, and then the insurance and fuel for the van; the rest is just for whatever.”
“He’s being modest,” Tim said, pulling away from Patti.
Michael looked over and said, “He is.” Then he stood and took Lesley’s hand. “He’s made more since April with Tim helping him than some people make all year at a fast food place.” Lesley brushed the sand off the back of her thighs and wrapped her arm around Michael as he continued. “He could probably get a couple of leaf blowers for the fall and a plow and blower for the winter …”
Matthew waved his hand in the air a little, “No, no, no … for the extra money it’s great, but I don’t think I want to do this the rest of my life.”
“What do you want to do?” Liz asked, still holding out her hand for a card.
A quick look of contempt came over Donna’s face once Liz monopolized the conversation with Matthew.
Tim smiled at Liz’s question and walked away with Patti toward the water and away from the group.
Carrie nudged Melissa, who then sat up and switched over to a kneeling position closer to where Patti had stood prior, taking up her space.
“Honestly?” Matthew said while handing the card to Liz, and then closing up his bag. “I wanted to be an on-air DJ on the radio. I even looked into the broadcasting school up in Bloomfield. It’s not terribly expensive, and after the courses are done they offer job placement services.” He stood up and Liz followed his frame as he took a step away. “But I also looked into the future track of that career in the overall job market with Michael—sharp as shit he is