by Jason Zandri
“Anything else?” Matthew asked quietly.
A small grin stretched over her lips. “Well, I’m feeling a little crampy ahead of my monthly visitor…”
Matthew playfully winced. “I have to be the only male that gets subjected
to this. Alecia and Carrie are getting to be TMI with me too.”
“What can we say,” she said softly and slowly moving up to the front seat. “We trust you. You’re a nice guy. You defend us. You never judge any of us.” She sat in the passenger captain chair sideways to face him and dropped her bag forward.
Matthew looked at her and just stared casually.
“Nothing to say?” Melissa asked. “I figured you’d chime in with one of your pearls of wisdom. We are going to have to start writing them down.
Sanfordisms or something like that.”
Matthew shook his head. “No, I was waiting to see what you were going to say next.”
“You’re pretty humble, generally,” she quipped. “Did I miss something pertinent?”
“No,” he answered naturally, leaning backwards part of the way.
“Oh, no” she said in a mischievous tone and raising her right eyebrow upwards. “I am invoking friendship rules. You have to come clean with what you’re thinking…”
“You have to know the rule number,” Matthew said playfully.
Melissa scrunched up her nose and then rested her hands on her knees.
“Four,” she said simply. “Unless divulging would break a trust, friends must speak what’s on their mind.”
“That rule can only be invoked once a day,” Matthew said glancing over at the clock. “Time limit?”
“Next five minutes,” she said boldly. “Communication; just the facts and no hurt feelings – go!”
“Okay,” Matthew said with a slight sigh. “I was thinking about the way you and the girls…”
“The guys do too; you’re like their rock,” Melissa quickly added.
Matthew held up his hand, “Okay.” He moved in the seat a little. “I was thinking about just the girls and two things dawned on me.”
“Go on,” Melissa said anxious to hear the rest.
“I realized that as nice as it was to hear, that you and the girls appreciate me and how and where I stand, it dawned on me at that moment that your opinions of me were the ones that mattered the most.”
Melissa smiled warmly. She started to reach over and then hesitated when she thought of Paul.
“Paul,” Matthew said, noticing her movement and then her stopping short.
He looked into her deep brown eyes. “It’s okay, I understand.” Matthew looked to his left and casually out the windshield and then back to her. “So what were you so miffed about today?”
Melissa breathed in to respond but Matthew jumped back quickly. “And you can’t simply say, ‘dumb bitch Liz’ like you always do. I want you to tell me specifically what about her tagging along pissed you off today because I know that’s what it was in general.”
Melissa deflated her lungful of air and mulled over what she wanted to say. “Okay… honestly? No holds barred? No guilt involved? I speak my free mind and… you keep me as your best friend?”
“Yes,” Matthew said without hesitation.
Melissa flinched a little. She had tossed in the last part of her comment on a lark and it didn’t faze Matthew at all; he answered it wholeheartedly.
“Okay,” she said sitting upright. “It really pisses me off the way Liz is.
Donna and Marie go to school with her at Lyman Hall and they hate how she is. She is conceited and inconsiderate. You made plans with Donna for tomorrow…”
“I made plans with everyone,” Matthew defended casually.
“Yes,” she retorted, tipping her head, “but you asked her in the vein of having her come specifically. Yes, you’d go if she couldn’t and she could have tagged along with Liz, but you asked her specifically so it’s sort of like a public date.”
“I wouldn’t presume to debate your point,” he said playfully smug.
“You would lose,” Melissa responded in kind with a smile. “I mean, you literally just finished asking her to go and Liz had to follow you all the way out to the water. Good thing when you came back out to cozied up to Donna.
You scored back lost points…” Melissa trailed off in her comments as a brief unsettled look crossed Matthew’s face. “What happened out there anyway?”
“Oh you know, just chit chat; you know Liz,” Matthew said quickly.
Melissa pointed to the clock. “It’s never just chit chat with her; not since seventh grade when she was kicked out of Dag Hammarskjold Middle School for making out in the stairwell. You’re inside the five minutes.”
“No holds barred? No guilt involved? I speak my free mind and… you keep me as your best friend?” Matthew repeated Melissa’s ask.
“Yes,” she responded nervously. “Or course… to the end of our days.”
“She made a pass at me,” Matthew said quickly. He looked at Melissa’s blank stare. She really didn’t want to hear the rest; he could tell by looking at
her.
“How?” she asked Matthew.
“Are you sure…” he started.
“How?” she repeated to him.
“Under the water…” Matthew said looking down and then away. He was somewhat embarrassed to tell her but it was what they both agreed. “I wanted to stop her and say ‘no’ but the second she touched me...”
“You had sex with her in the ocean? In plain sight of everyone?” Melissa said with a roar.
“No, no, no!” Matthew quickly defended. “No,” he continued squirming in his seat. “Firstly, I’ve never done that… I’m still… well… you know.”
A look of relief washed over Melissa’s face.
“She reached for my swim trunks under the water and touched me. I was excited. As much as I wanted her to stop, I wanted her to keep going. And she did. She reached inside.”
“And?” Melissa asked.
“And eventually I couldn’t take what she was doing anymore and I…
well… you know.” Matthew said with a slight smile.
“Eeeww. In the water?” Melissa said puckering up her face.
“What?” Matthew said. “It’s the Atlantic Ocean, not a pool. There’s a ton of salt in the water already, and all the marine life, large and small, do far more than what I did in there.”
Melissa burst out laughing and Matthew was happy to have the tension broken so he laughed along with her.
He glanced over at the clock as it went past the five-minute mark.
“So have you ever?” he asked her. “You know… with a boy?”
“No,” she answered looking at the time as well. “Second base is as far as I let them go. If I touch them when we kiss it’s always on the outside of their pants, if at all.” She looked over at him and then at the clock. “So never?”
“No,” Matthew said. “I never tried entirely so I don’t know if I could have or not. I never went in prepared, you know, carrying a condom or anything, so I don’t know.”
“Third base?” she asked.
Matthew turned up the corner of his mouth slightly and Melissa asked nothing further.
“So I know we’re past our time and all, but why does my interest with Liz bother you?” he asked starting the van and turning around to face forward.
“At some level it’s always bothered you. You’re the one with the steady boyfriends since ninth grade; what’s the big deal who I am infatuated with?”
“I don’t know really,” she said softly, moving to sit forward herself.
“Maybe because I know it’s an infatuation and risky that I don’t want your feelings hurt… Maybe I think you’re this awesome person that deserves someone that can really appreciate all of you and what you offer to them.”
“She doesn’t?” He asked, dropping the van into drive.
“Hell no,” she answered loudly. “I supposed there’s
someone for everyone but she doesn’t deserve you.”
“And you do?” he blurted out quickly and looked at her.
Melissa turned red and quickly responded “I never said I did. And I am seeing someone.”
“You never said you didn’t either,” Matthew said. He waited for her to follow up more but she stayed quiet the remaining two blocks to her house.
Once there Matthew turned off the van and hopped out. He grabbed the left over pizza for her to take in and she grabbed her things. The two of them walked toward the door of her mother’s apartment. Matthew looked up quickly to see the curtains move and come to rest. He smiled a little and then turned to Melissa.
Melissa opened up the front door and dropped her things inside. Matthew stepped inside to set the pizza carry out box down.
“So tomorrow then?” he said.
“Yep,” she responded brightly.
Matthew stood at the door and looked down into her eyes. He caught himself in the pause and taking half a step forward. He immediately stepped back.
“Okay,” he said leaning toward outside. “I’ll see you then.”
“Matthew,” Melissa said calling out quickly.
He turned around, looked right into her dark brown eyes, and only stared.
“We were talking just before, when I said how we girls thought of you.
You said ‘two things dawned on me.’ You only told me one. I’d really like to know what the other thing was.”
Matthew breathed in deeply and turned to face her. “Do you remember fifth grade when we first met?”
“Yes,” she said, fondly recalling some of the memories that quickly flooded her thoughts.
“I was thinking of the kind things you were saying about me, that you and
the girls thought. And then I thought about how it really only mattered to me what you thought.”
“Yes, you told me that,” she said softly. “What was the other thing?”
“I though how nice and warm it made me feel that you thought those good things of me. Like in fifth grade when you used to tell me I was the nicest boy you ever met. I realized suddenly that somewhere along the way, in middle school I think, you stopped saying it. I realized I missed it and I hoped I still was that ‘boy’ to you.”
“You remember that?” A flood of emotion poured over Melissa and she struggled to keep herself in check. “I still feel exactly that way about you.”
“It’s nice to know that.” Matthew smiled softly, took two steps backwards, and called out. “See you tomorrow.”
Matthew hustled around the van and got in. Melissa closed the front door, pressing her right hand on it, leaving it there, and just stared at it.
Once she couldn’t hear the sound of the engine anymore because the van pulled away and around the corner, she burst into uncontrollable tears.
CHAPTER FOUR
The last September sunset dropped beyond the horizon. Michael Anderson laid on the hood of his car. Tim and Matthew sat on the roof of Matthew’s van.
“What time are we picking up the girls?” Michael asked, looking at his watch.
“I told them we’d come by around seven thirty,” Matthew answered. “The movie doesn’t start until nine thirty. Do we want to eat before or after?”
“Why not both?” Tim joked picking through his wallet. “Girls are killing me.”
“You earn decent money,” Michael chimed in quickly looking up at the two of them. “Your budgeting sucks.”
Tim looked down with a scowl. “Screw you man,” he said in a half-kidding, half-serious tone. “My dad might be a mechanic but I still need parts for my car; those aren’t cheap.”
Matthew waved Michael off quickly behind Tim’s back and spoke up,
“Not for anything Tim,” he said in a soft and defusing tone, “Michael is pretty sharp. He helped me streamline some of my costs for the lawn business, such as it is. Saved me about five hundred in taxes, insurance, and fees. He understands this stuff really, really, well.”
Tim nodded. Matthew looked around him to Michael.
“Sure,” Michael said. “Sometime over the weekend or something… I could try to help you out.”
“Thanks,” Tim responded softly.
Matthew turned to the guys, “You know what we haven’t done in a while? Two hand touch at the Pierce Plant… it’s been forever since we played a pick-up game on the front lawn.”
Both boys nodded and then Michael spoke up, “We need to fix that; this is likely the last hurrah for that… you know, into the winter and then the spring.”
Matthew nodded. “What’s the deal for tonight then? We can deal with the grudge match rematch some other day.”
“So Lesley and Patti wanted to see Top Gun,” Michael said. He hopped off the hood of his car. Matthew climbed down off the roof of the van and circled around.
“Again?” Tim asked. “What else is playing at The Twin?”
“Aliens,” Matthew said quickly. “Donna wants to see it.”
“I doubt Lesley will go for it,” Michael said.
“I miss going to the Center Cinema,” Matthew said walking away. He looked away from the sunset and toward Whirlwind Hill Road. “This town is changing… I guess we are too.”
“What do you mean?” Tim asked, jumping off the roof of the van and glancing down at his watch.
“Oh I don’t know,” Matthew said staring off and then turning around. “I guess I have just been thinking a bit. It seems like just yesterday I moved here and met you guys. Now we are wrapping up our last year of high school… I am wondering what’s next.”
“See that, Sandman,” Tim said coming up alongside, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and turning him back towards the sunset with his six foot five frame. “That sunset there is the end. Not ‘of everything’ but just ‘the day’. We have all of tomorrow to do something awesome too or nothing at all. We get to choose.”
Michael slowly came over, looking intently into the twilight in the western sky. “That was profound,” he said.
Tim and Matthew looked over at him, expecting some sort of punch line.
“No… really,” Michael defended. “I mean it was a simple statement, after all it was Tim,” he said with a smirk.
“There it is,” Tim said pointing playfully.
“Seriously,” Michael continued. “I have to say, I know I’ve had an above average life with my adoptive parents and all, and the money they have…
But they live wisely; fully and completely inside of each day. The money makes it easier but it’s not the whole thing, so to speak.”
“What do you mean?” Matthew asked.
“Well, they obviously did a lot of planning for their future, which is now more of their present; they are older than your parents, Tim. But is seems like no matter how much they planned forward, they always did something ‘for today’,” he said, throwing finger quotes in the air.
“Sounds pretty smart,” Matthew replied.
“It is,” Michael said stepping forward and ahead of where the two of them stood. “People spend so much time chasing money… it’s insane. I want to earn whatever I think I’ll need and then live off it the rest of my life. That’s the point you really live.”
“Yeah… well I can’t say I know a whole lot about that,” Tim replied.
“But I will tell you what I do know; I am figuring it won’t matter a whole lot
to me either way. I’ll never likely have an excess of money, not like you and your family Mike,” he said taking his arm off Matthew’s shoulder and stepping alongside Michael. “I won’t be smart and all… feely, like Matthew.” He chuckled while Matthew moved up and alongside Michael.
“But I know how to work hard and do what has to get done. That’s got a price and value to it all on its own. I figure it’ll serve me well.”
Matthew stepped forward and turned to look at the two of them. “When did we become a group of profound assholes?”
The boys burst out laughing as
the sensitive and serious moment was interrupted by Matthew’s chaotic revelation.
“In all seriousness,” Matthew said, wiping a tear from his eye and stifling his laugh, “My Dad says so much of life is an unknown that try as you might, you can’t plan for it all. He said to me, do the right things, treat others like you want to be treated, be fair and honest, work hard, and remember to laugh.”
Tim stepped away a little so that the three of them stood in a circle. “We got this.”
“We do,” Michael responded.
“And like other graduates from Sheehan, Lyman Hall, and Xavier, we’ll stumble and fall too,” Matthew said. He squinted his eyes a bit and a stray thought crossed his mind. “You have to let things happen and be there for the ones you care about. When they slip, you try to catch them to break their fall.”
“Where’d you hear that?” Michael asked.
“My Dad,” he answered.
“You can’t always be there for everyone; what happens then when they fall when you’re not around?” Tim asked.
“You help them back up,” Matthew said confidently.
The three of them stood in silence for a moment. An old truck rattling its way up Whirlwind Hill Road broke the silence.
“Let’s make a pact,” Matthew said, sticking his right hand out, palm up, between them. “To be there for one another, when times are good to celebrate and when times are bad to lessen the burden. No matter where our lives take us.”
Tim dropped his hand in on top of Matthew’s without hesitation. “I’m in.”
“Done.” Michael replied, doing the same.
After a moment, Matthew dropped his hand out from the bottom and the
boys drew their hands back.
“Let’s go get the girls and have fun tonight,” Matthew said with a smile.
CHAPTER FIVE
Melissa stepped out into the early October air from the apartment she shared with her mother. She turned immediately to the next-door apartment and knocked lightly at first but then tapped a little harder on the final hit to the door.
Diane opened up the door and squinted just a bit with the morning sun hitting her face. She was already fully dressed for the day.