“How am I supposed to convince you?” He said, his own voice raising a little. “I said I’d go slow. You didn’t like the idea of losing control. So I gave you control – and you gave me a week to convince you that I was a worthwhile bet. It’s not fair, Rachel.”
She seemed to crumple in on herself a little. “I know,” she said. “I don’t want to give you fair right now. It’s a little lowering to find that, after all this time, I’m still hurting. And I’m still angry as hell at you.”
He sighed. As unhappy as he was about it, he wasn’t about to tell her that her feelings weren’t valid.
“I’ll just hope you can forgive me, then,” he said. He cleared the plates and bowls, putting them in the dishwasher. “I really am sorry, Rachel.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m just… I’m scared.”
He held her, hugging her tight against him. He would do anything to help her feel better – to feel more secure in him. In them.
But all he could do was wait on her, and hope that, unlike him, she would make the right decision when it came to their relationship.
#
It was midnight, and Rachel still wasn’t asleep. The guest bedroom was great, so it wasn’t that. There were blackout curtains, and the bed was memory foam, with just the right amount of give. She tossed and turned. She’d watched TV with Ren until eleven, and then had decided to turn in. She was wearing one of his T-shirts and a pair of sweatpants as pajamas, since she obviously hadn’t been prepared to spend the night anywhere prior to her car debacle.
“Make yourself at home,” he’d said, before they’d turned in for the night.
She felt hot. He kept the thermostat higher than they did at home, she figured. She also felt parched. What she really needed was a glass of water, and then she could slip off the sweatpants, and sleep more comfortably.
Hell. Maybe she’d slip off everything.
She thought about the conversation she’d had with Ren earlier. She didn’t know why she’d been so raw, so honest. Probably because it was only, what, two, three days into their new “relationship” (or “trial run”) and she was already getting overwhelmed with feelings for him?
She felt an ache in her chest. He hadn’t kissed her tonight. He’d held her, and had cuddled with her on the couch, but they’d both been careful not to do anything that might set a match to the kindling of sexual tension that usually surrounded them.
Still, it didn’t mean she didn’t want him.
She’d told him she’d slept with other men. She liked sex, and it had been a long time since she’d had enjoyable sex with anyone. Ren was calling to her like a beacon. Even when they’d been teens, sex with him had been outstanding. Granted, part of it was being in love, but part of it was the extreme care he put into the act. He studied her like he was trying to unlock a mystery of the universe, where most men put in just enough effort to figure out how to get you to spread your legs. Ren knew all her triggers, understood every sigh and pant. He knew her language, as it were, and spoke sex with her fluently.
She hadn’t had that kind of connection with anyone since.
But sex with Ren meant complications.
She growled, pulling the pillow over her head. And the last thing I want is complications.
She finally forced herself to get out of bed. She padded in bare feet towards the kitchen. The light in Ren’s office was out, so he must’ve gone to bed, as well. He’d said when she turned in that he had some emails he had to go over.
He worked too hard. Not that it was her place to say anything.
It’s not like you’re dating him.
She walked into the kitchen, turning on the light. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she rummaged around in the cabinets until she found a drinking glass. She poured herself some filtered water from the fridge, sighing in relief.
“You okay?”
She let out a little yelp, spinning and spilling some water on the floor. “Oh!”
“It’s all right.”
Ren was standing there in nothing but a pair of shorts. He quickly grabbed a towel, dropping it on the floor and wiping up the offending puddle with a swipe of his foot. Then he tossed the towel in a nearby basket. “I heard you, wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything you needed.”
“I was thirsty.” Did she sound as breathless to him as she sounded to herself?
She ate him up with her eyes. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. The MMA training was doing wonders for him, she thought. He’d been fit in high school, but this was a whole new level. She could see the carved definition of his pecs. His arms were works of sculpture.
Good lord, the man even had a six-pack. She felt her mouth go dry again, and quickly gulped down more water.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, sounding amused.
She frowned. He had to know how hot he was. Had to know the effect he had on women.
“I’m feeling a little robbed, actually,” she said.
“Oh?”
“You said this would be a PG-13 gentleman night,” she heard herself say, as she put the glass down on the counter. “And there was absolutely no making out.”
Now she saw his expression go from amused to surprised to hungry in the space of a few seconds. “I didn’t think you’d want to,” he said.
“I’m not sure about us,” she admitted. “But I do know that I’m just as attracted to you as I’ve ever been. Maybe more, if that’s possible,” she added, with a broken laugh.
“I’m still attracted to you, too. You have to know that.” He stepped closer, and she could feel heat pouring off of him like a furnace.
She wanted. Wanted sex, wanted him. Badly enough that she was willing to overlook the complications that would inevitably follow.
“A little kissing wouldn’t kill anybody,” she said, and pressed herself against him.
Her nipples pebbled to hard points beneath the thin T-shirt material, and she dragged her chest against his abs. Hallelujah. Her body lit up like a pinball machine, and her breathing went shallow.
His breathing went shallow, too, and she could feel him hardening against her stomach. “You were the one that put the boundaries on us,” he reminded her, disconcerting her. “No sex. I don’t want you to use this as a reason why we can’t be together.”
She frowned. He was right, of course. Sex clouded judgement. Of course, right now her judgment was so clouded she genuinely couldn’t give a shit.
“This will be separate,” she said, her voice edgy with need. “Ren, I haven’t had sex – good, bad, or indifferent – in over a year.”
He blinked. “Oh?”
“And sex with you was always phenomenal.” She squirmed a little, enjoying his groan. “I don’t want to make it seem like I’m using you…”
“On second thought, please,” he groaned. “Go ahead. Use me.”
She let out a frustrated laugh, linking her arms around his neck as his hands smoothed down the T-shirt, grasping her hips. “But I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about you, here, just in the next room. And I was thinking of how badly I want you.”
He bent down, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “Rachel,” he growled.
Then, with a quick movement, he grabbed her, picking her up and putting her on a kitchen counter. His mouth found hers, devouring her.
She was grabbing at the strong yoke of his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist. He pressed against her pussy, pulling her to the edge of the counter. He reached into her loose sweatpants. “You’re already wet,” he said, when his fingers pushed her panties aside, stroking against her slit.
She couldn’t find words, just mewled an agreement. She pressed hot kisses wherever she could – his chest, his neck, his jawline. His hot, hungry mouth.
“This… isn’t… PG-13,” he said, and his fingers moved against her clit in a way that made her gasp and her head fall back as her hips pivoted to give him better access.
“Fuck PG-13,” she breathed. “Actual
ly, just fuck me.”
He froze, and she actually let out a cry of distress. “Rachel, are you serious?”
“Yes,” she said, tugging his hair. “I want you, Ren.”
He stared at her for a long moment. Then he kissed her again. “We’ll see how far we get,” he said. “I can make you happy, but still stay within your boundaries.”
She frowned. Was he talking about… wait, what was he talking about?
He picked her up, taking her to his bedroom. His navy-blue sheets were rumpled, like he’d gotten out of bed. He put her down on the bed, then he grabbed the waist of the sweatpants and maneuvered the garment off of her. Then the panties. When he crouched in front of her, and she felt his hot breath against her thighs, she realized what he was doing.
“Ren,” she said, then her head hit the bed when she felt his mouth, pressing delirious kisses against first one thigh, then the other. He kissed her right on her slick pussy, then parted the lips, opening her wide to his onslaught.
He licked her clit, hard, the way she liked it, and she cried out with the sheer pleasure of it, raising her hips to meet his mouth. His mouth encompassed more of her, his tongue flicking through her folds, always circling back to the hard bead of her clit. Her breathing went ragged and uneven. She reached up, grasping one breast in her palm, feeling the hard nipple poke against her. She twisted her hips in a circle, feeling the slow build of her orgasm. So much bigger than she’d gotten with her vibrator, or any of the fumbling suitors she’d settled for.
He continued to work at her, nibbling, sucking, licking with the tip of his tongue and the flat, broad surface of it, until she was chanting his name and breathing like she was running a marathon. Her hips were moving hard. Then he circled her hole with his finger before plunging it in at the same time as his mouth worked her bud.
“Ren!” she screamed, feeling the orgasm starting to crest. It only grew more intense as he put in a second, then a third finger, mimicking sex, filling her even as her clit was exploding with sensation. She shivered hard, feeling like she was close to blacking out, her entire body clenching.
A few minutes later, she felt like she was floating back to earth. He nuzzled her thighs, rubbing his face.
“God, I missed that,” he said. “Missed you. And see? You didn’t break any boundaries.”
She thought about it. It was so like Ren. He was considerate. He wanted to make sure that she was happy, and that he kept his word.
She leaned up, realizing she was still wearing the T-shirt. And she saw his erection, hot and heavy and insistent, tenting his thin shorts.
She reached down, grabbing the hem of the T-shirt, and pulled it up over her head, leaving her naked in his bed.
“Let’s just say this one’s for sex only,” she said, her voice shaking a little. “It goes outside of the boundaries of our deal. It exists in a totally different universe. What do you say?”
#
It’s a trap.
Ren tried hard to catch his breath and organize his thinking. Rachel was lying naked in his bed, proposing a devil’s bargain: sex, for this night only. And it would have nothing to do with whether or not they continued in a relationship. It would be sweaty, intense, amazing – he knew that already, just from tasting her orgasm on his tongue. His cock was throbbing like an aching tooth. His body was screaming just have sex with her already!
But there was a catch. There had to be a catch.
She had insisted on no sex because she didn’t want to get swayed by hormones. “You’ve got to promise me, if we go through with this,” he said, sounding as out of breath as if he’d just run five miles, “that you’re not going to hold it against me, or say that we can’t have a relationship because we had sex and somehow we weren’t thinking straight.”
“Ren,” she said, almost a whimper of need. She writhed a little, her hips rolling. He licked his lips, and his cock twitched. “Please.”
He closed his eyes. “Promise me,” he said.
“I promise, I won’t hold this against you,” she said, propping herself up on her elbows. Her eyes blazed. “I’m a grown woman. I know I wanted to keep hormones out of this, and I think we can. At this point, I want you so badly I’m practically cross-eyed.”
He barked out a laugh. “I know that feeling.”
“If anything, maybe it’ll help clear my mind.” She looked innocent… right up until she arched her back, her breasts thrusting out towards him as she smiled coyly.
“Man, you play dirty,” he said, leaning forward and taking a nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it. It was hard as a diamond, and hot. She gasped, arching higher, pressing herself deeper into his mouth. He pulled back, blowing on the wet circle and enjoying her shiver. “So, in the interest of being clear…”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Rachel said, nudging against him. “Really? With all the talking?”
He stared at her until she met his gaze straight on. “I’m not losing you this time,” he said, each word clear. “Even if that means I have to hold off on sex with you. I’m not a kid anymore.”
She seemed to take that in. Her expression softened, and she raised one hand to stroke the side of his face. “No, you’re not a kid,” she said. “You’re right. We should be circumspect.”
He felt both elated and disappointed. Then she leaned up and kissed him, a gentle kiss that grew in intensity.
“I won’t hold this against you,” she said against his mouth. “I promise. You won’t lose me over this.”
His control snapped with those few words. He groaned, deepening the kiss, covering her body with his. She felt like she was on fire, her breasts crushed against his chest, her nipples dragging against his pecs as she squirmed beneath him. Her hands smoothed across his back, then trailed up his sides until she shimmied and wove her fingers in the back of his hair. He kept kissing her as his arms kept him propped up so he wasn’t crushing her. His cock was notched between her legs, but he still had his damned boxers and shorts on.
“Shorts,” he muttered against her neck. “I need to get them off.”
“Yeah you do.” She let go, long enough for him to disengage and quickly strip the offending articles off.
He reached for the nightstand, pulling out a drawer. He couldn’t believe his hand was shaking as he pulled out a condom. Then, thinking about it, he pulled out a few more, leaving them on the surface. Just in case.
He started to turn back, only to see Rachel reaching for him. “Wait a second on that,” she said, her expression mischievous. She circled his erection with her fingers. How the hell did her palms get so soft? It was like being stroked by a cloud. She made a little humming noise of appreciation, then leaned down, her fragrant, silky hair brushing against the length of him.
Then she wrapped her lips around him, and he closed his eyes as a huff of breath escaped him. “Rachel.”
She licked the head of his cock, then sucked it with gentle pressure as those soft hands stroked his shaft, cradled his balls. He couldn’t help his hips pitching forward, pressing more deeply into her mouth. He didn’t think it was possible for him to get harder, but his cock was like iron in her mouth. She hummed again, a happy sound that reverberated through every nerve ending.
“Not… not yet,” he said, pulling out of her mouth with a wet sound. “God, you’re good at that. But it’s been too long, and I want to be inside you when I come.”
She nodded. “All right.”
He needed a few minutes of deep breathing and thinking of spreadsheets before he could calm down enough to roll on a condom. She stretched out on the bed, looking like a goddess. He covered her up again with his body, moving between her thighs. Nudging her with his hardness.
She was still slippery from her orgasm, and he slid in, but she was tight. He gritted his teeth against how good it felt. He kept pressing in, gently. She hadn’t had sex in a while (a year! His subconscious provided with shock) so he didn’t want to hurt her. But she didn’t seem to be in pain. If a
nything, she was impatient, raising her hips to meet him, curving her legs around his. He felt his stomach stroke against hers as his cock slid all the way home, buried to the hilt in her.
They both let out simultaneous moans of pleasure. He withdrew, then moved in again, with more force, more speed. He reached between them, spreading her folds, making sure that her clit was exposed to his pubic bone, then angled to ensure that he was hitting it with every dragging thrust. She gasped, moving faster, more insistently. “Ren… Ren… Oh my God.”
He adjusted his speed, matching hers, clenching his jaw. She felt so good. He could tell from the broken sound of her breathing that she was getting close.
“Ren!” she shouted, and he felt her pulsing around him, and she clawed at his back, her legs tense as boards, her toes curling.
He almost followed her down right there. Instead, he pulled out quickly, and flipped them over. He sat with his body against the headboard, then tugged Rachel onto his lap. Her eyes widened.
“You remembered,” she breathed, then lowered herself back onto his cock. She couldn’t have multiple orgasms on her back – but if they switched positions after, she could have a double, maybe even a triple.
He grinned, then sucked first one, then the other nipple, tasting her, teasing her, as she bucked her hips and rode him. She wrapped her legs around him, taking him even deeper, and he breathed hard against her neck, holding her tight to him.
“I missed you,” he said against her hot velvet skin. Then he drove upward, leaving her gasping. There was a spot, her spot. He moved, sweating, his hips pistoning as he moved inside her, back and forth, up and down. She was gasping and panting, pressing against him as if she just couldn’t get close enough. Their hips were moving in tandem, jarring together.
“Rachel,” he pleaded, as they ground together.
She threw back her head and screamed, shivering. Her thighs tightened around him like a vise, and he felt her pussy clench like a fist around his cock.
He couldn’t have stopped his orgasm with a gun to his head. In fact, it felt like he’d been shot as the pleasure cannonballed through him, leaving him momentarily speechless, lights flashing before his eyes.
Ship of Fools Page 9