He was oddly glad that they hadn’t, since it would’ve cut his happy evening with Rachel short. He thought of Rachel’s words: let’s just enjoy this week.
Like she’d seen this coming.
“Mom,” he said slowly, “this is too sudden a decision. We need to talk about it.”
“I know you care about Rachel,” she said, in her best let’s-be-reasonable voice, “but you haven’t seen her for years. In those years, you’ve been working towards taking over the company. We need to know you’re responsible. We need you to go to Zhuhai.”
He gripped the granite countertop. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked. For the past ten years. I got top grades at school, I’ve done the internships, I’ve made the targets and whipped the divisions into shape,” he said, and his voice was rough.
“What, do you want congratulations?” she asked, and her voice went whip-sharp. “Jian and Meili also got top grades, just as your father and I did when we were your age. In this world, you have to be competitive. No one is going to applaud you for doing your job! Or feel sorry for you when you’re given an assignment you don’t like!”
Ren felt the sting of her disapproval like a slap across the face.
“You know what you need to do,” she said. “You know what’s best for the company. And you’re going to do what is best for the company, without arguing about it, or you’re no longer going to be part of the company.”
Or our family.
It wasn’t stated. It didn’t need to be.
Ren felt his stomach knot.
“The plane is about to take off,” his mother said. “We will discuss the particulars tomorrow, in the office, as your father said. So if there’s anything you need to take care of, do it this weekend.”
Translation: if you’re worried about Rachel, handle it today. Because after tomorrow, we’re packing your bags and shipping you off.
“How much time do I have?”
“We want you out there before the end of March,” his mother said. “Ideally, in the next two weeks. I’ve already looked into getting you a condo there, and your office will be set up by the end of the week.”
Two weeks.
“Tomorrow morning,” she said. “Nine a.m. We’ll see you in the office.”
With that, she hung up.
Ren stared at the phone, then put it down gingerly on the counter.
Moving to Zhuhai in two weeks.
He knew there would be paperwork, visas, a mess of things to handle. But he also knew that the Chu corporation had people who handled just such paperwork nightmares. He’d be on a plane with a few full suitcases in a few weeks.
And what did that mean for Rachel?
He closed his eyes.
How can I lose her again?
#
Rachel woke up and stretched, feeling deliciously sore and a little turned on. It had been years since she’d felt like this. It was still fragile, but she was floating on a cloud of happiness. She’d admitted she loved Ren, and was willing to take a chance on him. On them.
It was still scary, but for the first time in a long time, she felt hope.
She was surprised that Ren wasn’t still in bed with her. She hoped he wasn’t working. That was going to be a bone of contention between them, she could already tell. He worked too hard, and she wasn’t sure if it was worth it. She’d worked hard, but always with an end goal in mind. His end goal always seemed to be “keep my parents happy” and she wasn’t sure if that was ever going to be possible.
She pulled on a T-shirt and panties, and wandered out of the bedroom. Something smelled delicious, so she headed for the kitchen first. There was a freshly baked French toast casserole sitting in its pan on the counter, and her stomach yowled in gratitude. She laughed, then went hunting for Ren.
She found him sitting in his home office, frowning at his laptop. “You made breakfast,” she said, her voice husky. “And my favorite, too.”
He looked at her, and she was momentarily taken aback by the pain she saw in his eyes. He reached for her, and she stepped into his embrace without hesitation. He rested his head against her breasts, holding her tight.
“Hey,” she said, nudging his head up so she could study him. “Are you okay? What’s up?”
“Work stuff. It can wait.” He kissed her stomach, then stood up and kissed her on the forehead, the tip of her nose, and her mouth. “I love you.”
She felt the words tingle through her, right to her toes. “I love you, too,” she said softly.
He stroked her hair, holding her against his chest. She nuzzled into him, her arms around his waist. They stood there quietly for a long moment. She felt cherished, she realized. He treated her like she was precious to him. She’d waited so long for that feeling.
Finally, he kissed the top of her head. “Come on, let’s eat.”
“You should definitely carb up,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows as he took her hand and led her to the kitchen. “I’ve got big plans for you, and you’re going to need energy to burn.”
He didn’t laugh, just gave her a half-hearted smile.
Her heart started beating a little faster, and it had nothing to do with her innuendo. Work, my ass. Something is wrong.
She frowned. She needed to find out what it was. If they were going to be in a relationship – and she’d told him they would be – then he couldn’t keep bottling up emotions. She was a grown ass woman. She could handle whatever he could dish out.
Breakfast was subdued. She wanted to enjoy the custardy bread, but she found herself having a hard time swallowing. Irritation grew inside her as she saw him getting more and more morose.
“Okay, what is it?” she burst out. “You’re acting like somebody you love got shot. What the hell happened between last night and this morning that has you so upset?”
“I told you. Work thing.”
“What work thing?” She frowned. “I know I’m not an MBA yet, but I think I can follow along.”
He looked at her, and the pain in his gaze magnified. It was written all over his face now.
The bubble of fear in her chest grew, as well.
“My parents called this morning. Stupid early, six a.m.,” he said. “You were still asleep, and I was making breakfast. Anyway, we’ve been having problems with this factory… I told you about that.”
“Okay. Are they blaming you for the problems?” Rachel asked.
“No. They know what the problems are. It’s a leadership thing. They need the COO to handle some process stuff better. They need a new lead engineer, they need a new software developer, they need a bunch of problems solved and fixed, and then they need sales to rebound because we show the customers that the problems have been fixed.”
“Well, that sounds like a pain,” Rachel admitted. “But it also sounds like nothing new for you. You’ve been working on all these things, right? And you’re putting in long hours. Are they upset with you because things aren’t fixed yet?”
“Yes,” Ren said slowly. “But again, that’s not quite the problem.”
Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “Is it me?” She paused. “That seems really egotistical, to think that this has to do with me, but they never really liked me. I think they saw me as a distraction.”
Ren grimaced, and Rachel felt her stomach knot. “They do still see you as a bit of a distraction, but that doesn’t matter,” Ren said. “I told them I want to be with you, no matter what.”
Rachel let out a strained breath. “I want to be with you, too.”
“No matter what?” Ren asked, with particular urgency.
She felt that niggle of fear again, the bubble growing bigger, pressing at her rib cage. “What happened, Ren?”
He looked trapped, she realized. She ran his fingers through his hair, one of his nervous habits. One he hadn’t done since she’d seen him again. He was so composed now, seeing him shaken was starting to freak her out.
“They want me to take over as COO,” he said slowly. “And… they
want me to move to Zhuhai and lead the team from there.”
She blinked. “They want you to move to China?”
He nodded. “For two years,” he added. “At least.”
It was like getting run over by a truck. She felt stunned, and a hard press of pain as the fear bubble burst.
He’s leaving.
He quickly moved to her side. “I know what you’re thinking,” he pleaded. “And I know, the timing absolutely sucks…”
“You think?” She let out a small, hysterical laugh.
“We just found each other again, and now I’m supposed to go half a world away,” he said. “But I think we can make this work.”
“How? How do you think we can make this work?” Rachel felt her eyes start to sting with tears. Damn it, she knew, she knew she shouldn’t have trusted this.
She was important – until she wasn’t. Until something with a higher priority came along. His job and his place in Chu Enterprises would always take precedent.
“I have an idea,” he said, and his voice was coaxing as he stroked her back, trying to soothe her. “It’ll be challenging, but I think it might be good.”
She closed her eyes. What was he thinking? Flying back once a month? Regular sexting via Skype? Of course, that was when his work permitted…
She knew she was being bitter. She felt she had a right. She’d set herself up for this one, so she was angry with herself, as well.
“I want you to come with me.”
That stopped her mental loop in its tracks. “What?” she croaked.
“Move with me. To Zhuhai.” His eyes shone with sincerity. “Long distance is too hard, and I want you with me. So why not come with me?”
Her mouth fell open. “Come with you?” she repeated. “To China?”
She waited for him to tell her it was just a joke, no big deal. Instead, he was looking at her with complete solemnity.
“Come with me,” he repeated, and took her hand.
#
Ren saw the shock on Rachel’s face as he asked the question. He’d thought about it for the past three hours. It seemed crazy, but really, was it that much crazier than simply asking her to move in with her?
Yes, it totally is.
He shrugged off his conscience. He was going to make this work, one way or another. He was not going to lose Rachel again. And if that meant getting the visa department to work on two sets of paperwork rather than one, well, that’s what was going to happen.
Rachel stared at him, pulling her hand out of his grasp. “You want me to move with you? To Zhuhai?” Her eyes were wide and startled. “When?”
This was another tricky part. “Well, they want me to move kind of quickly…”
“How quickly?”
“Two weeks.” He grimaced when she seemed to pull even further away, pushing herself against the back of the dining room chair. “That doesn’t mean you’d have to leave that soon. I’d take care of all the arrangements.”
“I’m still in school!”
Did that mean she was thinking about it? He leaned forward, pressing his advantage. “You could finish school. They might even let you finish it remotely,” he added, thinking that Chu Enterprises could donate a building or something if that could happen.
Okay, you’re thinking a little crazy now.
“You’d love Zhuhai,” he wheedled. “It’s beautiful. Palm trees, theme parks, golf courses… and it’s right by Macau. That’s like the Las Vegas of Asia.”
“I already work in a casino,” she said, her tone acidic. “It’s not like casinos have a special magic for me, remember? And what do you think I’d be doing over there? I don’t speak the language. I wouldn’t know anybody!”
“You’d know me. We’d be together.”
Her eyes were wheeling now. “I’d be isolated. I’d be something like seven thousand miles away from my family and friends!”
“About sixty-five hundred,” he said. “And I’d make sure you could fly back often.”
She kept staring at him. Then she laughed, a bitter, harsh sound.
“You really think this is going to work, don’t you?”
“I want it to,” he said. “More than anything.”
She looked down at the table, at her empty plate. Then she got up, mechanically grabbing the dirty dishes and taking them to the sink. He followed her, unnerved by her intense silence.
“What are you thinking?” he asked finally, after watching her rinse the dishes and put them in the washer. “Don’t shut me out.”
“I’m thinking about ten years ago.”
He let out a harsh sigh. “This is different.”
“You know, it really isn’t.” She looked at him, and her violet eyes were clouded with pain. “I thought I was going to marry you. I would’ve done anything for you. Including a long-distance relationship. I even considered walking away from U Dub and following you to Boston.” She shook her head. “But you couldn’t… no. You didn’t want to make that work.”
“I let my parents get in my head,” he said, but it felt like an excuse as soon as it came out of his mouth. “I was a stupid kid. I was just eighteen. This is different.”
“Let’s look at this logically.” Her voice was steady, even though her expression wasn’t. “Your job is just like school: it’s too important to ignore, and you’ve got your family pressuring you to excel. You can’t afford to screw this up.”
“I need you with me.”
Her beautiful face was frozen in a look of pity. “Tell me, Ren. Is that what I need?”
“We’re better together,” he argued. “We love each other!”
“I love my family, too. And my friends. They’ve been here for me. I love the area, the Pacific Northwest… Snoqualmie and Seattle, and everything in between. I love the life I’ve carved out here.” He saw tears start to well up in her eyes, and it stabbed him in the chest. “I know things are changing, but I am not going to move out to China simply because I don’t want to be alone when everybody else is pairing up. And I’m not going to rip up my whole life just because the guy I’m in love with has an unhealthy job and he wants to drag me along with him.”
He felt her words slamming into him like bullets. “I’m not trying to…”
Then he stopped.
That was exactly what he was trying to do.
“It could be an adventure,” he said, but it felt weak. “But you’re right. I have no right to ask you to move to China with me. You’re too invested here, and it’s not fair to upend your life because mine is.”
She nodded.
“But we could make the long-distance work, if you’re open to it,” he said, shifting gears. He was not going to lose her. “I’ve got a private plane, for God’s sake. I could fly back every other weekend. I could fly you out other weekends. We could talk every night…”
She was already shaking her head, and he felt desperation claw at him.
“What? Why would that not work?”
“I love you,” she said, and cradled his face with her hand. “But we both know what’s wrong with that scenario.”
“I don’t.”
She took a deep breath. “You’re going to be too busy for me,” she pointed out. “This is really important to your family, and important to you, and you can’t afford to be distracted.”
He winced. Those were almost the exact words he’d used to break up with her.
“See? It’s the same thing as before, just on a ten-year delay.” She shook her head.
“I’m different now, damn it.” He held her by her shoulders. “I don’t want to lose you!”
“I’m different, too.” Her eyes flashed. “And I’m not going to do this, do you understand? You were the one who pursued me. You were the one who said it’d be different this time. Now you’re asking me to put my life on hold and take whatever time you can allot when you’re not too busy, and you know what? Fuck that, Ren. I deserve better than this!”
Her chest was heaving, she was breath
ing so hard. Tears tumbled down her cheeks. He pulled her to him, and she shoved him away.
“Don’t… just don’t.” She swiped the tears away with the back of her hand. “I’m leaving. We’re done.”
The words were like the ringing of a nail in his coffin. He watched as she stormed back to the bedroom, changing out of his T-shirt, into regular clothes. He waited, his mind racing, trying to come up with some reason she should stay that wasn’t completely, utterly selfish.
He couldn’t think of a single thing.
She came out, bag slung over her shoulder. She looked at him. “I called an Uber. It’ll be downstairs in a minute.” Her eyes were red.
“Rachel…”
“Don’t call me, Ren. Don’t get in contact with me again.”
He grimaced. “Just like last time.”
“Yeah, I should’ve made that stick.” She bit her lip. “Goodbye, Ren.”
Everything in his being was screaming at him to stop her, somehow. Fix this. Get her to change her mind. But he loved her, and he knew: this was the wrong thing for her. He had no right.
“Goodbye, Rachel,” he said, and watched her walk out the door.
Chapter 11
Rachel cried enough in the Uber that the driver, a woman, asked if she was okay.
“Just broke up with my boyfriend,” Rachel said, wiping at the tears that continued to fall and then digging around in her backpack for her package of tissues.
“There are tissues in the seatback,” the driver offered helpfully. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
Thankfully, the woman was not talkative enough to want to discuss it, or trade breakup horror stories. She did change the channel from a radio station playing an Ed Sheeran love song to NPR, for which Rachel was thankful. She didn’t think she could handle hearing about how perfect a woman was for him. Right now, she just wanted to either throat punch someone, or curl up in a ball and weep.
She got to the bookstore, and winced at the price for the ride, but thanked the driver. Slinging her backpack over one shoulder, she headed up the steps. The store was still open, and there were people milling around, browsing. Cressida was ringing someone up at the cash register when she got a look at Rachel.
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