“Just keep yourself safe and don’t get involved,” he tells me, and I nod.
Randy walks me to the farmhouse, where I stay the night, and then the next morning I return to the Manor.
“Did you have a nice visit with your friends?” Jason asks me, as I come in for breakfast.
“Yes, it was very enjoyable,” I tell him, “and I think I am feeling much better now. I needed the time away from the manor.”
He frowns when I say that. “Why don’t we play a game of chess after breakfast,” he says. “We need to spend more time together, enjoying each other’s company.”
“If you wish,” I say, and I follow him into the drawing room, when we are through eating, and watch as he sets up the chess board. I have a hard time concentrating, and he seems to notice.
“What is distracting you?” he asks.
“I worry about the Fenians. Now that I am not involved, I don’t know what is going on. What if something happens to Randy?”
“What ever will happen, no one knows. The Fenians have been around for a long time, and they have never been successful yet.”
“If they were successful, would you be willing to give the land back?” I ask.
“First of all, my family were land owners long before the British came and took over. I have a right to this land. I believe both my father and I have been treating the tenants fairly. Is it a sin to have property, just because some people don’t? I can understand the anger of the Irish at the British for coming and taking over the property in general, but they did not take the property away from the affluent in Ireland. So, whether the British came or not, we would still own this land and have tenants working the farms. It was our way of life from the beginning. I was willing to marry a mere tenant, so why should you insist I give up what is part yours as well? It will be handed down to our children in the future.”
“I was married for three years to Ferrell and never had children. What makes you think I will have any with you?” I ask.
“It is not always the woman that is barren. Let’s say I have faith in your fertility,” he smiles. I know he does not know I am carrying, since I have not said anything to him, but his saying that makes me wonder. When I am quiet, he looks up at me. “We could go upstairs and try our hand at discovering it,” he whispers.
“I don’t feel up to it,” I say, and move one of my pieces on the board.
“Perhaps it is because you have been with your lover, this whole time you have been at your farmhouse,” he says, peering up at me. I wonder if he thinks Randy is my lover as well as Jamie? Or is he just wanting me to admit that Jamie turned me away?
“Perhaps,” I say, “or perhaps I never had a lover. It may have been a figment of my imagination, when I realized Ferrell could never love me again. I know now that Ferrell is the only man who deserved my love. I thought I could get rid of the pain of his death, by taking on a lover. Now I discover I never can. I think some traitor made sure he was caught, because he envied the kind of love we shared. Even though I could never give Ferrell children, his love for me never wavered. Everyone could see how happy we were together.” I want Jason to know that I don’t trust Jamie, and regret I ever took him as a lover. “That is why I just can’t envision our marriage ever succeeding, Jason. You said you wanted to give me time to get over the death of Ferrell. You accused me of forgetting about his love, by taking on a lover. But I was merely trying to distract myself from the pain, and it didn’t work. I don’t think it could ever work. Any time someone touches me, I think Ferrell will never be able to touch me again. I tried to pretend that I loved Jamie.”
“Jamie? Is that his name?” Jason asks peering closely at me.
He has known all this time who Jamie was, but he plays his part to the end, I think, despising him even more for it.
“Yes, isn’t that ironic? He carries your nick name, but I realize now, he was never worthy of even my pretend love, and I don’t believe you are either. Because you know I would have to pretend to love you, Jason. It could never be real. As much as I appreciate what you have done for me, it was merely because of my beauty, you have captured me, and forced me to become your wife. I was happier as Ferrell’s wife, planting potatoes, and caring for the farm. At least we were both working towards the same goal.”
“It was not just your beauty that drew me,” Jason says, as he reaches over and takes my hand. “There is so much more. If you gave it a chance, I think you could be happy,” he encourages.
“But had my husband never died, you never could have had me. Jamie said it was his fault that Ferrell was caught. Maybe he always wanted me as a lover, and that was his way of making sure I was available,” I whisper.
Jason pauses, and looks deeply into my eyes. “Any man who would cause another man’s death, to take away his wife, is no man at all,” he murmurs. “If that was true of Jamie, then he wasn’t worthy to be your lover.” He stands up from his chair. “I think you should rest. You look worn out. I thought the time spent at the farmhouse would make you feel better, but perhaps it has merely awakened the ghost of your husband.” He reaches his hand to me. “I will take you upstairs, so you can lay down and rest.”
As I lay on my bed, I think of what Jason said about any man who caused another man’s death to take away his wife, was no man at all. Was he trying to tell me that my doubts about Jamie were misplaced? Why didn’t he just admit to me that he was Jamie? Was it because he didn’t trust me any more than I could trust him? Maybe he believed if I discovered he was Jamie, I would expose him to the tenants and claim he was a spy. He wanted me as his wife, but he couldn’t even trust me enough to be honest with me. The very fact made me trust him all the less. He is wrong. I can never be happy with him, since he can’t be honest with me.
For the next week, my relationship is strained with Jason. I can tell he is nervous and I know it is because any day the Fenians will be ready to storm Dublin, and depending on the outcome of that strike, everything may change, not only for the people of Ireland, but for Jason and myself, as well.
I see him looking longingly at me, and I wonder if he has regretted turning me away as Jamie’s lover, because I have remained cool to him, as my husband, and he told me he wanted me to come willing to him, if I ever decided to become a true wife to him. Jamie could have had my love without restraint, had he not pushed me away. Had Jamie truly done it to keep me safe from harm, or to push me into my husband’s arms, the way Jason hoped would happen? It seems I can’t keep from separating the two in my head. To me they are two separate people.
I have a certain respect for the fact that Jason is not trying to force himself on me, or even trying to persuade me to give in to him. Maybe after the Fenian battle, he will know better as to what tactic to take, but by that time I will leave him, I tell myself. I don’t know why the thought saddens me. Maybe it will be Jamie I will miss the most, I think, not Jason.
I ride up to the farms, and Randy sees me. He stops what he is doing and comes over to where I am sitting on my horse. “It is set for tomorrow morning, March the fifth. Everyone will meet at the barn, and then from there they will be divided into groups. We will be the ones holding the police and troops back, while the bulk of the Fenians push towards Tallaght. We will leave at dawn.”
“I will follow at a distance, then,” I tell him. “I want to see what group Jamie goes with, and keep an eye on his activities.”
“Be safe, Rose,” he murmurs. Then he drags me down from my horse, and pulls me into his arms. “Incase we don’t see each other again,” he whispers in my ear. “You know you will always be my only love. That is why I have never married.” Then he places his mouth over mine, and is kissing me deeply. Before I can say anything, he has turned and walked away, not even looking over his shoulder at me.
“We will see each other again,” I call after him, but I don’t know if he hears me.
I return to the manor, and when I see Jason, I can detect the excitement in his eyes. He doesn’t even notic
e me walking past him, so I think his head is filled with the plans for tomorrow at dawn.
“I thought maybe we should plan an outing,” I say to him, and he suddenly looks up at me, like he just realized I was there.
“What?” he asks.
“Haven’t you been saying that we should spend more time doing things together? I thought maybe that tomorrow we could go on an outing, maybe a picnic, or for a ride in the carriage, or maybe for a boat ride down the river,” I smile.
Jason looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. “Why do you want to do something all of a sudden? All week you have practically ignored me.”
“I have been thinking on what you talked to me about. I just thought…”
“I am going to be busy tomorrow. Maybe next week,” he tells me, and I smile inside.
“What are you going to be busy doing?” I ask.
“I have to leave early. I am not sure how long I will be gone. It is a business trip.”
“That is too bad,” I say. “You are going to leave me to entertain myself?”
“You seem to do that fairly well,” he smiles. “It is not like you are always seeking out my company. If you get lonely, go visit your friend, Randy,” he suggests.
“I just talked to him. It seems he is busy doing something tomorrow as well. In fact most of the farmers, have something planned. What do you suppose they are up to?”
“How can they all have something planned. They need to work their fields,” he says.
“Perhaps the uprising is underfoot,” I suggest.
“If that is the case, then I will be happy to be gone at the time,” he tells me, as he starts to turn away, and I am laughing inside. How cunning he thinks he is being.
“Maybe I will entertain myself by discovering what the farmers are up to,” I say, and he turns quickly back to me.
“Don’t you dare do anything that will put your life in danger,” he says. “Leave the farmers be.”
“When have I ever followed your orders?” I ask, and I turn away laughing.
“Rose,” he calls after me, but I ignore him and keep walking down the hall.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The sky is a soft pink blanket, ruffled with streaks of white clouds, fringed in deeper pink, as the sun tediously starts to shoot it’s rays over the hillside. I look out the window, as I am putting on Ferrell’s clothes, and see Jason riding out alone on his horse. In the distance I can see the farmers all converging in the direction of the meeting place, and I hurry downstairs and go out to the stable, telling the groom to put a mans saddle on a horse that I usually don’t ride.
He looks at me like he doesn’t want to obey, but then nods, and does what I ask of him. If Jason happens to see me, I don’t want him to recognize my horse, and the horse I am ridding is just a regular brown horse, much like many other horses that will be ridden on this day, I think.
I don’t have to catch up to Jason, because I know where he is going, so I just ride leisurely in that direction, until I see the group in the distance, splitting up into smaller groups. Then I see Jason with his mask on, riding his black hunter, and I follow that group at a distance.
As we get closer to Dublin, I am amazed at the amount of young men converging on the city. Some are on horseback. Others are walking. Some have guns, and others don’t. Earlier Jamie had said those without guns should take bombs to throw, and I wonder if those men without guns have bombs in their pockets, or in sacks slung over their shoulders?
Farther up, I see a large group of people heading up in one movement towards the hills of Tallaght. No one seems to be talking. There is only the noise of their boots hitting the ground, or the horses hooves striking the cobbles of the street.
The group Jason is leading, which is about 150 men, turns down a side street, and at my vantage point, I can see a group of policemen approaching them. They have already stopped a smaller group of about 40 men, up around the bend, who were pushing a cart filled with ammunition and guns. The group that Jason is leading, cannot see this, and my heart stands still, wondering what will happen when they end up running into the policemen?
I watch the scuffle with the policemen who stop the cart, and witness one of the Fenians, being stabbed with a bayonet! I am shocked, and want to call out to Jason’s group, to warn them. Then I hear constable Burk, who is the head of the Dublin police, call for the group Jason is leading to halt.
Jason, turns to the men and tells them to back up. It had been agreed that there would be no fighting against the police. They only wanted to detain them and hold them back from being able to halt the movement, but some of the men in the group are young and excited, all rearing for a fight, so I am not surprised when I see a young man bringing his long gun up. I see the anxious concern on Jason’s face, even though he is wearing a mask. His mouth is held in a grim line, and his body leans stiffly forward as he holds his hand out, calling “No!” Just as he makes the forceful call, suddenly guns are being fired by both the police and the Fenians. At first all I see is smoke puffing up from the guns and horses side stepping and dancing in place. Then I see Jason falling from his horse, and my heart sinks so fast, I almost fall off my own horse.
Without hesitation I am tearing down towards the group, screaming and crying unintelligible words of shock and fear. I finally manage to find my voice. “Jason!” I shriek as I ride into the mêlée, and I see Jason with his mask on, staring up at me like he can’t believe I am there.
I am leaning down, stretching out my hand and he manages to grasp it and then is swinging up behind me. I spur my horse forward and out of the city. Some of the policemen on horses start to follow me. I know they did not get a soon enough start, so I manage to lose them, as I make my way between buildings and then out towards the woods.
I can feel the weight of Jason’s body leaning against me, breathing hard, his arm wrapped around my waist and the blood from his arm is staining Ferrell’s trousers, as it drips against them. “Rose, what are you doing here, and how did you know I am not Jamie?”
“I don’t know who you are, Jason,” I rage. “Are you Jamie, the leader of the Fenians, or Jason, the landlord over them?”
“Why did you save me?” he asks, in a low weak voice. “If you don’t trust me, and certainly don’t love me, why did you bother? As my widow, you would have inherited everything!”
“I couldn’t let you lay there and die, or have them arrest you and be hung like my last husband. I don’t think I could live if my second husband got hung as well.”
“But you would have inherited the manor. You would have been rid of me. Isn’t that what you always wanted?” he murmurs.
I feel his arm slipping from my side, and I grab it up around me, to hold him from falling from the horse. “Don’t you dare die on me, Jason,” I cry. “You had better not leave me to face this alone!”
“I won’t die,” he barely whispers in my ear, and then he lays his head on my shoulder, as I urge my horse faster towards the manor.
When I reach the stables of the manor, I scream at the grooms to come carry Jason up to his room, and not say a word about his wounds. I follow close behind. The moment the door closes, I remove Jason’s mask and am pulling Jason’s shirt off, pouring whisky over the wound, trying to ignore Jason crying out in pain. Then I find a sheet and start tearing it up to make bandages to stop the bleeding, pulling Jason to a sitting position so I can wrap the strips around his chest. I can see the bullet has gone straight through, and am thankful I won’t have to try and pull a ball out of his shoulder.
When I finally lay him back down, he slowly opens his eyes and looks up at me. “I love you, Rose,” he whispers. “I have loved you since I first saw you planting potatoes. I’m not going to die on you. Just promise to stand by me.”
“Shhh. Don’t talk,” I murmur, pushing his hair back from his forehead. I lean over and kiss his brow. His words touch me, but I don’t want to be swayed by the moment. I am not certain who my husband really is, and I don’t t
rust Jason or Jamie. Though they are one, they are two individuals to me.
I can hear a clamor downstairs, and I rush from the room. “There is a policeman downstairs,” the butler tells me, and I realize I am covered in blood, not to mention being dressed in Ferrell’s clothes.
“Tell the policeman I am still asleep and you will have to wake me,” I say, turning to rush to my room, throwing off my clothes, and hastily washing the blood from my hands. I grab up a wrapper, and am pulling it around me, as I hurry downstairs. A few minutes later, I come into the drawing room, where a policeman is waiting patiently for me.
“Sorry to disturb you, Mrs. O’Malley, but we have come to alert your husband that the Fenians are having an uprising. He was working closely with the English to try and stop this very thing. Just let him know we don’t think the Fenians will succeed in their plans to take the city. Someone in Liverpool, gave away their plans and we sent extra troops to the city and two gun boats into the harbor. So far only five lives have been lost. It was more like a tempest in a teacup and we have rounded up at least 200 of the men involved. The main bulk of them are still in the mountains above Tallaght, but they no longer have a back up in Dublin. I doubt they will be able to do anything, since most of those involved have all left back to their farms.”
“Mr. O’Malley is out of town, at the moment.” I say quietly. “He told me he had to leave on business, but when he returns, I will inform him.” I try to keep my voice from shaking. “I am happy to know that not many lives were lost,” I say, and I pray that Randy is not one that lost his life or has been captured.
“Very well, Ma’am. He can come and get a full report, when he returns home,” the policeman tells me. “The account will probably be in the Irish Times by tomorrow.” Then he goes to the door, giving me a little bow, and the footman sees him out.
Wild Irish Rose Page 15