by R S Surtees
Mrs. Jorrocks’s chief objection to the girls’ dresses was the dowdyness of them. “No style, no smartness, you see,” said she to Mrs. Trimmer, the mistress, after she had got her first visit or two over; “it costs nothin’ more havin’ them a good colour, and the clothes decently made, than these queer, flat, trollopy-lookin’ things,” running her parasol down a girl’s back as she spoke—” nothin’ personal, in course,” added she, “to the lady wot does the genteel novels, but a little smartness and fillin’ out doesn’t do young folks no harm — sky-blue now, I should say, would be werry neat, with plenty of flowers — or sea-green, or laylack, or lavender, or red, anything in fact better than these dismal-lookin’ browns. And as to their learnin’ — spellin’, and cypherin’, and sewin’ is all werry well; but I’d teach them a little of the genteels — braidin’ and ornamental sewin’ — satin stitch; worsted work too is werry much in wogue.”
Poor Mrs. Trimmer didn’t know what to make of it all; but of course she concluded the fine London lady knew what was right.
Mrs. Jorrocks was very much bothered about the girls’ dresses, and many were the consultations Emma Flather and she held on the subject. Emma, however, had had no experience in these matters, never having seen any other school of the sort, and her taste for clothes not descending below silks, satins, and muslins. In this emergency, Mrs. Jorrocks bethought of applying to Mr. Bowker’s sister-inlaw, Susan, whose theatrical knowledge and taste combined had aided her on former emergencies, and she thought would help her to something smart. Accordingly she wrote her the following epistle: —
“Mrs. Jorrocks’s complaments Miss Slummers, and mam, I’ll thank you to see what you can do for me in the way of dressin’ my school-girls, as they have at present a very flat, trollopey, dowdey sort of look; Mrs. Jorrocks does not approve of too much finery for girls, thinkin’ it likely to lead their minds astray from the cultiwation of intelligent vays, particular from their reverence and duty to their superiors in every station of life; but I think, without goin’ to any great expense, somethin’ smart might be hit upon, that would be neat and not costly or gaudy, and set off their figures a little better to adwantage.
“Mrs. Jorrocks will, therefore, thank you to see what you can do for her.
“HILLINGDON HALL, HILLINGDON. —
Susan and Mrs. Bowker had a long consultation on the subject of this letter; both had a taste for finery, but how to apply it to the exigencies of a country school was rather beyond their ingenuity, besides which they knew Mrs. Jorrocks wanted to cut a cheap dash. All the charity schools in London and the environs were examined for ideas, but they were all more in the check, than in the fan, vanity style. Susan’s attention was then turned to stage costume; all the characters she had appeared in were canvassed, and at length, all things considered, she determined upon recommending a Swiss costume. Her reasons will be best gathered by a perusal of her letter.
“RESPECTED MADAM, — I have the honour to acknowledge the receipt of your letter, and in conjunction with my sister, have given your wants my best consideration. I have inspected the dresses of all, or nearly all the scholastic establishments in London and the neighbourhood, but find they all have a tendency to the disfigurement, rather than a development of the person. The colours vary greatly, and the articles of dress slightly differ, but in no one that I have seen is there the slightest attempt at fashion or elegance. At Kensal Green, they have sky-blue gowns, white caps, capes and sleeves, with yellow stockings; but the girls are one uniform breadth from the shoulders to the heels. At Clapham Rise, they have Lincoln green, with blue stockings; at Peckham, tartans, with tartan stockings; at Balham Hill, scarlet, with green stockings, and yellow worsted shawls; at Pimlico, orange, with orange stockings; at Parson’s Green they are red all over; and at Turnham Green, all grey.
“The result of my examinations and inquiries has been, that though there is a great deal of strong showy material used for dresses at some of these schools, they all seem to have been chosen with a view to extraordinary and incongruous effect — something to startle and surprise, rather than to please and allure. It may have been the taste of the day in which they were founded, but they have certainly outlived the fashion very considerably. Under these circumstances I turned my attention to other countries, first and foremost among which stand the Swiss for originality and variety of female costume. They are an out-of-door people, and though cleanliness and sewing is very properly inculcated in schools, yet the main object in patronizing them being to make a show through streets up to church, I conceived we could not do better than attempt a modification of a becoming Swiss dress. These, as you doubtless know — (having seen many on the stage) — are various, particularly the head-dress. In one Canton (Appenzell) they wear black caps like butterflies’ wings stuck on their heads, while the rest of the dress partakes a good deal of that of an English housemaid — short sleeves and long petticoats — bodice lacing in front. The Lucernoise are richer and more foreign — large flat hats, hair in two long plaits down the back, white collars, with large frills, purple dresses, trimmed with orange, with a square of orange and red let in at the back of the waist, white stockings, and an infinity of chains, beads, and crosses, on a richly embroidered waist of purple velvet and black. This, however, I think, would hardly do, save for the monitors or head-girls of the school, besides which it has the fault — which all Swiss dresses have indeed — of extreme flatness and want of tornure. I therefore merely describe this dress in case richness and costliness should be what you want. What I would respectfully recommend, would be the costume of the Canton d’Ury. This is a large flat-crowned straw hat, with a wreath of ribbon round the crown, the bonnet placed becomingly on the back of the head. A white sort of bed-gown, well open at the bosom, reaching a little below the waist, with a scarlet petticoat and pink stockings. This, confined at the waist, and well set off with horse-hair petticoats, or even bustles, would have a very stylish, dashing effect, and should you ever think of giving a fête, champêtre, or any little rural entertainment of that sort, girls dressed in that way might be exceedingly useful and ornamental to the scene. A few lessons in dancing would enable them to go through a figure or two while the servants were laying the table; or if the entertainment wanted varying after dinner, you might have them in to perform. Again, they might be useful in handing about tea or cakes; and altogether the appearance of so many retainers would have the effect of adding consequence to the mansion, and, of course, to the mistress.
“Should this suggestion meet your approbation, it will afford me very sincere pleasure to assist in carrying it into effect, and your instructions shall be promptly attended to. My brother and sister unite with me in most respectful compliments to Mr. Jorrocks and yourself, and I have the honour to remain, madam, your most obedient and very humble servant,— “SUSAN SLUMMERS.
“EAGLE STREET,
RED LION SQUARE, LONDON.”
Mrs. Jorrocks was charmed at the idea! She thought it was “the werry cleverest hit that ever was made, combinin’ the ornamental with the useful;” and she wrote to Susan Slummers to get her estimates and proposals for furnishing the requisite quantity of stuff and stockings, also for finding and upholding for twelve months a certain number of horsehair bustles. The latter was put in competition through the medium of the advertising columns of the Times newspaper in the shape of the following announcement: —
“HORSE-HAIR BUSTLES.
“To be let, the finding, maintaining, and repairing for twelve months certain, five dozen best horse-hair bustles of different sizes, which, with all other particulars, may be had on application to Miss Clarissa Howard, at BOWKER & Co.’s wholesale and retail snuff and tobacco warehouse, Eagle Street, Bed Lion Square.
“N.B. — Just arrived, a large consignment of real havannahs. Tobacco and fancy snuffs in the greatest variety. The trade supplied.”
The schoolhouse underwent an alteration as well as the inmates. This was a modern building of the lattice-window
cottage order, entered by a porch, leading into a passage on one side of which was the schoolroom, and on the other the master and mistress’s apartment. Its outward appearance bespoke what it was; and as there was no fear of the little girls getting to the wrong house by mistake, the owner had never thought it necessary to put up an inscription either stating that it was a school, or that it was meant to educate so many children, or even that it was built by so and so in such a year. Things were now about to be done as they ought. Under the auspices of Joshua Sneakington, a tablet was prepared for erection over the door, stating that Mrs. Jorrocks was the foundress, &c. &c., and in order that all things might start together it was arranged that the tablet should be put up on the Saturday night preceding the Sunday on which the “merry Swiss girls” were to parade for the first time in long drawn line up to church. Then, as the village bells rang gaily on a balmy summer’s morning, Mr and Mrs. Jorrocks were seen repairing arm in arm “full fig” with Binjimin with his hands full of prayer-books behind them, to see the grand effect of the new dresses and inscriptions, and walk alongside the children to church; out the children came, hand in hand, the little ones first, with their great umbrella hats and enormous bustles, each couple laughing at those on before, Mrs. Jorrocks admiring the effect of the scarlet and white, and Mr. Jorrocks spelling aloud to himself the over-true inscription Joshua Sneakington’s hurry had caused to be stuck over the door.
THIS
SCHOOL WAS FOUNDER’D BY
JULIA JORROCKS,
THE TRULY PIOUS AND BENEVOLENT
LADY
OF THIS MANOR.
ANNO DOMINI 184 — .
CHAPTER IX.
SOME COUNTRY GIRL, scarce to a curt’sey bred,
Would I much rather than Cornelia wed;
If supercilious, haughty, proud, and vain,
She brought her father’s triumphs in her train.”
OUR hero’s shire, like most counties and shires, vas divided into Whig and Tory, whereof the Whigs had rather the advantage, owing, perhaps, to the influence of the Lord Lieutenant, who favoured the former politics, and had the usual making of great men, in the shape of magistrates, deputy-lieutenants, and, perhaps, excisemen. Still the Tories ran them close, and every vote was of importance. The late Mr. West bury, like most right-thinking men, was a Whig, and great anxiety was felt in high quarters as to what the politics of his successor might be. The Lord Lieutenant aforesaid — to wit, the Duke of Donkeyton — was a muddle-headed, garrulous old Whig — liberal, levelling, and mankind-loving out of doors — exclusive, and a bit of a bashaw within. “The greatest good for the greatest number! civil and religious liberty! equality! freedom of the press!” and all that sort of thing sort of man.
The period of which we are now writing was one of great importance to his Grace, inasmuch as the hope of his house — the young Marquis of Bray — had just attained his majority, and Parliament had shown certain unhealthy symptoms, indicating, in the opinion of the physicians (Peel, Goss, and Co.), no distant dissolution. These considerations made the Duke come down a peg or two in his greatness, and mix rather more with the commonalty, not but that he knew of all that was going on in the country, for every great man has his toady — his Joshua Sneakington — to supply him with tittle-tattle and gossip, but the Duke thought it prudent to unbend a little. Accordingly, the Duchess began carding, and the Duke began dining, all the likely birds in the district. Of course the Tory party turned up their noses, wondered “that so-and-so would let themselves be made cats’-paws of” — observing that “it was quite evident what the Duke and Duchess were after;”
“they wouldn’t allow themselves to be made a convenience of,” and with such like declarations, patiently waited to be called upon by the leaders of their own party.
It was with great pleasure the Duke heard that Mr. Jorrocks was a Whig, for what with his farms and what with his shops, he could carry as many as fifteen or sixteen votes to the poll. The consequence was, that not many weeks after Mr and Mrs. Jorrocks’s arrival, a dark claret coach, the wheels picked out in red, with four horses, and postillions in scarlet, and two outriders in dark grey, drew up at the old porch of Hillingdon Hall, much to the astonishment of Binjimin and Batsay, who stood staring at two richly embossed and glazed cards, one bearing the title of “The Duke of Donkeyton, Donkeyton Castle,” the other that of “The Duchess of Donkeyton, Donkeyton Castle,” until the coroneted coach and its contents had whisked clean out of sight. It so happened that Mr. Jorrocks, on that day, had gone with Joshua Sneakington to look at a “bal,” about ten miles off; and Mrs. Jorrocks and Emma had been sent for suddenly, to quell an insurrection in the school, arising out of the unpopularity of the new costume. Mrs. Jorrocks was sadly distressed at being out, for in addition to natural curiosity, Mrs. Trotter had the impudence to assert that the coach contained his Grace’s gentleman, and her Grace’s maid; but Mrs. Trotter having once mistaken these personages for the Duke and Duchess, it was just as likely she might mistake the Duke and Duchess for these personages, especially in a large family coach with the windows up. Be that as it may, however, the coach had been there, as the cards could testify.
Great was Mr. Jorrocks’s astonishment when he saw them.
“Yell, he thought he never know’d sich a thing in his life — called on by a duke! wonders would never cease.” Then he summoned Binjimin to know how it all was. “Yell, Binjimin,” said he, jingling a load of keys and halfpence in the upper storey of the Jorrockian jacket, “tell us all about it now — vot did you see?”
“Vy,” said Binjimin, wiping his nose across the back of his hand, “I vas a scrubbin’ and polishing for ‘ard life at your Sunday ‘essians, ven all of a sudden there came such a peal at the bell that I thought some waggabone had run away with our new pull; accordin’ I throws down the boot, and, seizin’ the big vip, ran as ‘ard as ever I could, ‘oping for to catch them. Yell, I opens the door, and crikey, there stood a man, for all the world, like Jack the Giant-killer, dressed in a short coat, leather breeches, and top-boots, with a cockade in his ‘at, and a precious long vip in his ‘and — just like one of them great, long, lazy, ‘ulking London Johnnies, wot we used to see about the warst end, only a deal bigger, and a coach with sich a sight of ‘osses in it, that I think the leaders’ ‘eads were at the far end of our town. Just like the Lord Mayor’s state boobey hutch, only there wasn’t no men in harmour about it, or fools in wigs inside. Yell, I was so flummox’d at comin’ out with a vip to sich an assortment, that I dare say the Johnny might have been ‘ollerin’ to me till now to know if you were at ‘ome, if Batsay hadn’t come and explained that you were away lookin’ arter a bull, but her missus was up at the seminary, and she would run for her; whereupon the great sarcy Johnny, with his up-turned nose, jest shoved the two cards into her ‘and, and the coach and all the party were off and bowlin’ away out of sight afore one could say — Jack Robinson.”
“My vig!” exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks in astonishment at the honour.
The first blow was speedily followed up by another.
Ere the Jorrockses had fully digested the compliment, and settled the order of march for returning the visit, an enormous card — larger than one of these pages — arrived, done up in a richly gilt and figured cover, sealed with a prodigious seal containing the coronet, crests, arms, and supporters of the Donkeyton family.
The card was not less gorgeous. Under a canopy formed by a ducal coronet, surrounded by a glittering halo, a richly coloured royal party sat at a sumptuously spread table; stars and feathers and orders abounding, while the word “BANQUET,” in gilt letters below, denoted the nature of the entertainment, and prepared the receiver for the invitation which followed. Thus it ran, or rather thus it was filled up, the names of the inviters and words of course being printed in gilt letters: —