by J. K Harper
Kinda made a bear grouchier than usual. Especially with Brynna's damned bombshell announcement that she was out of here once again. After she’d said a stiff good-bye, she’d quickly whipped around and marched away down the path. Thor had followed her with another sympathetic glance at Wyatt.
After a long moment, Wyatt and Slade had continued their own run, Slade almost dragging a numb Wyatt along. “Don’t make it worse right now,” he'd said with the kind of wisdom possessed only by a bear with a mate. “Sorry, man.”
“Yeah,” Wyatt had grunted in return, his entire body buzzing with the need to run after Brynna and grab her. He'd instead decided being crazy twice in one day wasn't too smart, and forced himself to keep running with Slade. He had some damned pride. He wasn't chasing after a woman who didn't want him. A woman who had kissed him the other night like he was the air to her breath, then up and just decided to leave.
Well. He'd been a possessive grump that night, too. His bear knew Brynna was his mate, and once his bear had his sights set on something, it was hard to rein him in. But Wyatt had spent a lot of time the past few years working on that side of his personality. He'd made strides and was a lot calmer now, more methodical about responding instead of reacting.
Except, apparently, when he once again saw the woman who was the mate his bear refused to let him truly forget.
Gritting his teeth, he’d forced himself to keep running. Slade was a wildland firefighter who needed to stay in good shape, which made him a great running partner. They usually didn't talk much during runs, just pushed each other hard, thereby ensuring they got their training time in. But Slade had decided to be a damned chatterbox that morning. “Looks like Brynna still hates being a reindeer shifter,” he’d offered out of nowhere. He and Brynna had also known one another since they were kids, both having been raised in Deep Hollow.
Startled, Wyatt had almost stumbled over a crusty pile of snow kicked into the path. “How do you get that?”
Slade ran around a small pack of moms and kids meandering down the walkway, filled with red cheeks and giggling shrieks and laughter. “Because she's leaving town again right now. You know how much she always hated Christmas. She's bailing back to the land of palm trees and beaches.”
“Pretty sure people celebrate Christmas in Miami,” Wyatt pointed out, breathing hard as the river path began angling upward as they neared the top of town. “They just decorate palm trees instead of pine trees.”
Exhaling as they reached the end of the run, Slade shook his head. “You were too busy getting all googly-eyed over her to pay attention.”
“Googly-eyed?” Wyatt demanded, slowing down.
Somberly, Slade nodded. “You couldn't take your eyes off of her, and you went kind of all soft in the face, even when she was yelling at you. I look at Everly that way all the time,” he added, his own face definitely going soft as he smiled. His mate sure had brought out the mushy side in Slade.
“Whatever.” Wyatt shook his head, ignoring his bear's huffs of agreement. “Googly-eyed, my ass. I just—Brynna and I used to be close, is all. You know we were super tight when we were all kids.” And when she and I were grown ups, too, he wanted to add, but didn't. Damn if it didn't hurt way too fucking much to think about that.
Slade just snorted. “Face up to the truth, won't you? She's still the one you want, Wyatt. Fucking hell, man.” Slade shot him a hard glance. “She’s your mate. Always has been.”
Wyatt frowned. “We were pretty good friends. That's all. She shared a lot of stuff with me.”
“Mm-hmm. Right.” Slade's tone had been speculative. “But how much did you share with her?”
That was a gut punch. Because the answer was, Everything. Wyatt had shared everything with her.
He had never had any secrets from Brynna. They were always friends, just kids playing in literal sandboxes and then riding bikes in their neighborhood. She'd been his little shadow, following him everywhere, trying everything he did, even if it was kind of scary. Like climbing trees to the very top, or leaping off the swings at their apex and flying through the sky to land on the hard ground. She'd been cool, though, and a total tomboy. Fearless and daring, she could keep up with all the older kids on their bikes, swimming in the river, running around playing mock battle games in the woods.
Their dinner the other night had proved she'd forgotten nothing about them being best friends growing up. And about how deep their serious dating relationship had been when they were old enough to look at one another that way.
And that they were mates.
Then like a damn fool he'd gone and pissed her off, behaving like a maniacal caveman that night by growling and lunging at a guy who looked twice at her while she and Wyatt strolled along the riverwalk. She'd stormed off, snapping over her shoulder if he wasn't ready to be an adult, she didn't need to spend any time with him again.
He'd planned and plotted every second since then to see her again, but running into her on the same riverwalk just a few days later had been a very unexpected, welcome surprise. Until he'd gone all jackass on her yet again.
He shook his head in savage fury. Letting her go was the smartest thing to do. Except—he had to see her again. Something deep inside told him if he didn't, he was blowing the biggest thing that would ever happen to him in his entire life. Such as acknowledging to himself and everyone else the truth that she was his mate. His actual mate, damn it all. He couldn't let her go again. It would kill him, slowly but surely. Even if it was Christmastime again, and the memories of that last Christmas when she'd smashed his heart were rearing up fast and ugly in his head.
That had been enough heartbreak for one lifetime. Right? Right.
By the time they reached the top of the riverwalk, ignoring his bear's decidedly unhappy grumbles, he turned his thoughts around to practicality. No. He couldn't risk his dumb heart being shattered yet again, and especially not again at his favorite time of year. He was just beginning a new life here in Deep Hollow. He'd bought a frigging house. His family and old friends were happy to have him back. Holiday merriment abounded all around him, and he just didn't have the bandwidth for more fuckin' trauma in the form of a sexy, frustrating little deer shifter who didn't want to stay here.
So when he and Slade finished their run yesterday, Wyatt had decisively stated, “I’m letting go of it all. I've got no time for a woman who's got no time for me.”
Slade snorted a doubtful laugh. He shook his head as they went headed into the festively decorated town. “You're like a teeter-totter of confusion. So even though you were about ready to drag her to dinner again, now you're done? For sure?” His skeptical tone messed with Wyatt's newly-arrived decision.
Wyatt growled under his breath. “I'm done. Don't push,” he warned.
His cousin just shrugged. “Guess she did a number on you for sure. Sorry,” he said again, a glimmer of compassion in his voice. Before Wyatt could growl again, Slade added, “Holidays should be fun, anyway. Yeah, let go of the past and all that. Move on and enjoy yourself. Good plan.” His tone still sounded a bit skeptical, but Wyatt ignored it.
The past was the past. He was for damn sure moving on. He'd have a merry Christmas this year or else.
Now, when he reached his office, he shoved aside the events of yesterday and firmly set his mind to paperwork. He did manage a faint smile at the sight of his door, which was decorated with a snowman made from paper and plastic. His niece and nephew, the kids of his oldest sister, had helped. They'd added a long piece of red tinsel around the entire door, with the words ho ho ho! spelled out in green tinsel on it as the final touch. Decorating his door as well as his office in the most over-the-top way of anyone else here had already made the entire sheriff's department christen Wyatt “Santa.”
Of course he loved it, though right now it just made him want to “bah, humbug” them all.
He jumped when the rookie kid he'd almost forgotten about uttered a sudden “Sir” behind him, as crisp and clean as any ranking o
fficer could want. Wyatt turned around to see Slade bearing down on them, his expression so bright he about glowed. Slade’s wildland fire-fighting team office was attached to the town fire station, which was situated right beside the sheriff’s department.
Slade rolled his eyes at the kid, since he was nobody's “sir,” but just grunted, “Hey, Deputy Donner.”
Right, the kid's name was Donner. Wyatt should remember that.
“Need something?” Wyatt side-eyed Slade’s crazy big grin. Huh. Something weird was up.
“We’ve got a new plan!” Slade's voice rapped out so cheerfully it turned the heads of some administrative staff members chatting down the hall.
Wyatt shook his head, completely lost. “Was there an old plan?”
Slade drew to a stop in front of the door, awarding both Wyatt and rookie Donner a wide grin. “So Alina is friends with Everly, right?” Fox shifter Everly and her family owned a local restaurant and bar called The Tank. Everyone in town knew them.
Wyatt frowned at him. “Uh...okay. So?”
“So,” Slade said in a voice that was both patient and pleased at once, “Everly just called Alina to find out what's going on with Brynna.”
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Wyatt muttered. This was beginning to sound like a game of telephone. Or like any moment back in high school. Small town gossip wasn't something anyone here could escape. But it was usually friendly, plus he could tell Slade was genuinely excited about something. Holding back an irritated growl, he made himself listen.
“Brynna didn’t leave town, Wyatt.” Slade's grin got even bigger as he said those words.
Battling a sudden surge of hope, Wyatt scrubbed at his neck as he peered at his cousin. The rookie kid stood nearby, eagerly soaking up every word. “No. She said she was hauling ass out of here as soon as she could. She’s gone already.” Fucking slam to the heart to say that out loud.
Exasperated, Slade shook his head. “No, man. Listen to me. She's still here.” He whispered the last few words like they were the key to the universe.
Wyatt’s bear sat up to attention. “So? Her family probably talked her into staying for dinner with them tonight. Christmas Eve and all that.”
His bear moaned with sadness inside him, though the sharp attention was still there.
The rookie kid’s head swung from Slade to Wyatt and back again, listening to personal shit that was none of his business. But Wyatt was too damned intrigued by what Slade was saying to shoo the kid off.
“You're not getting this.” Slade shook his head in despair at Wyatt's apparent obtuseness.
“Clearly not.” Still trying to squelch the dumb hope springing around inside his chest, Wyatt turned back to his door, opening it and striding into his equally holiday-happy small office. He frowned at the sight of a tiny plastic reindeer prancing on his desktop. The piped station he'd left playing on the crappy little portable radio sitting on a shelf tinnily warbled “Blue Christmas.” His frown deepened.
“Wyatt,” Slade said, following him in, “Brynna is still here.”
Wyatt closed his eyes and ground his jaw. Before he could respond, Slade plowed on.
“She could have left yesterday. Or today. But she didn’t. Are you getting this, finally?” Slade crossed his arms and frowned at Wyatt's apparently idiotic lack of understanding.
Wyatt's bear rumbled inside him. Wyatt ignored it and blindly messed around on his desk, pretending to be looking for something. “So?” he said, hitching up a shoulder in a shrug. Inside, his heart thudded hard against his ribs. Damned fool heart.
“So,” rookie Donner blurted out, making both Slade and Wyatt turn their heads to look at him where he stood in the doorway, “she's waiting another day because she wants another chance with you!”
Slade barked out a laugh of approval, unfolding his arms to clap the small kid on his back and nearly knocking him over. Deputy Donner turned cherry red, abruptly shuffling his feet and looking downward. Wyatt just blinked hard for a few seconds.
“Yes!” Slade grinned big again. “That's exactly what Alina told Ever. So Brynna hates the holidays, right?”
Wyatt nodded, his heart still slamming in his chest as his mind suddenly began to spin.
“And she told you she was antsy having been back here so long, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And much as she loves her family, they've been able to hang out with her over a month now. Almost two months. So there’s no need for big good-byes, no need to drag it out more. Right?”
“Right,” Wyatt said, feeling oddly light-headed as his mind began to grasp what Slade was saying.
“So, dick,” Slade said cheerfully, “that means she's waiting for only one thing, even if she didn’t say it out loud. She’s waiting for you,” he jabbed a finger into Wyatt’s chest, “to get your head out of your ass and tell her you both know that you're hers and she's yours. That you want her to stay here. Or if she won't, that you'll follow her anywhere she goes.”
“Wait,” Wyatt said in an automatic yet half-hearted protest. “I just got back here. I have a great job. Deep Hollow is my home.”
Slade smiled despairingly at him, like he was a little slow. Or a lot slow. “Nah. Deep Hollow is your hometown. It’s where you’re from. But Brynna is your mate. That means she's your true home,” he said with a soft smile plastering itself on him, his face going all mushy as he probably thought of his own mate. “Wherever your mate is, that's your real home. You have a chance now to make up for five years ago.”
Deputy Donner nodded his head like a weeble-wobble, his face as bright with happiness as Wyatt felt.
“Wyatt, you dumb dick.” Slade shook his head again, though he looked compassionate. “You never went after her when she left town all those years ago. You think that didn’t break her heart too?”
Wyatt felt all the blood surge to his head as Slade’s words knocked into him like a major truth bomb. His bear rumbled inside him, suddenly very alert and close to the surface.
Holy shit.
Brynna was his home. She always had been. He'd just thought since she wouldn't come with him when he'd left Deep Hollow those many years ago, it meant they weren't meant to be. But no. He’d bet his entire career, his entire life, that she'd wanted him to come with her. She'd been too young and scared back then to admit it, not to mention just tired of living here in Deep Hollow, and he'd just been too stubborn, too damned butt hurt, to see it.
Brynna was his mate. And it was about time he man up to that reality and finally do something about it.
Suddenly turning, he raced out of his office and sprinted blindly down the hallway, heedlessly ignoring the confused exclamations that breezed in his desperate wake.
“Where are you going?” Slade called behind him.
“To go get her,” Wyatt shouted into the echoing halls. “To get that damned amazing woman, and not let her go again.”
Slade whooped, the sound urging Wyatt on to go find the most stubborn little reindeer shifter in the world and this time, give her and him both the best Christmas Eve ever.
Brynna Darby was his mate, and they both knew it. He was never, ever letting her go again. This time, he really would claim her.
Only if, the quiet whisper of doubt rippled in his head, she would let him.
5
Brynna frowned at herself in the mirror. “I'm not seeing it.”
Behind her, Alina rolled her eyes, visible in the mirror. “How can you not see it? I swear, you're glowing. You're all glow-y and stuff. Oh, wait!” She gasped dramatically, pausing with her sharp little scissors in one hand and a hank of Brynna's long hair in the other. “You're not pregnant, are you?” She squealed like a high school girl instead of a woman over thirty. “Brynna Darby, my sweet lil sis! Did you and Wyatt do the nasty the other night after all? Oh, you can't leave now! Tell me everything!”
A rousing chorus of “Let It Snow!” rang out from the speakers in Alina's little hair salon, much too cheerfully for the mom
ent. Exasperated, Brynna leveled a death glare at her sister's ridiculously bubbly excitement. “No, I am not pregnant. You have babies on the brain.”
Alina and Thor planned to have a whole passel of kids, and Alina had already designed the little nursery in their cute house with the white picket fence. Decals of adorable little bears and prancing little reindeer adorned the walls. It was stupid cute. Brynna pretended to sort of hate it, but she really sort of loved it. She was excited to be an aunt. And maybe, one day, she'd design her own nursery.
But not with Wyatt-the-ultra-annoying-and-heartbreaking-bear-shifter-Webber, unless she and he could both un-screw-up everything they’d screwed up so far.
"Spill," Alina commanded breathlessly as she went back to trimming Brynna's hair. She'd insisted that Brynna couldn't leave Deep Hollow without a fresh new cut.
Brynna wasn't really the type of person to always have perfect hair and nails. But that kind of stuff was important to Alina, and Alina was important to Brynna, so she’d made an effort to let her sister keep her hair healthy since she'd been back in Deep Hollow. Besides, it was Christmas Eve today. She was still feeling a little leery of the holiday, but she had to admit it was nice that her family was so thrilled she was staying through the holidays after all, and it was nice to get her hair all dolled up for the day and evening.
All she had to do now was figure out how to explain to Wyatt what she was feeling. What she was wanting. How to tell him she never should have left him all those years ago. Her entire being was still roiling with all of her admissions to herself yesterday, processing it all.
She didn’t want to screw things up with him again. She had to figure out how to do it just right, and for all she knew, getting a nice haircut beforehand would make things easier. She nervously giggled to herself as her reindeer pattered around inside her, constantly tossing images of the sexiest bear shifter in the world into her head.