by Vicky Jones
The next person who walked in, however, caused a smile as bright as a sunrise on mountains to spread across Lucy’s beautiful face. Both Dee and Bertie looked at each other and rolled their eyes in mock surprise as they followed the trail of Lucy’s gaze.
“Hey girl, the usual?” Dee asked before uncapping a bottle of Coke and placing it in front of Shona after she’d nodded. “How are things?”
“Not so bad. The boy’s doing good at school. Brought his report card home last week. Got his momma’s brains for sure,” Shona said, laughing as she took a swig.
“Say, Shona, your boy’s at Fairview, ain’t he? The preschool class?” Bertie hollered over from the end of the bar.
Shona swallowed her mouthful of Coke and wiped her mouth. “Yeah, why?”
Bertie grinned and nodded towards the booth in the corner. “That’ll be his teacher then, won’t it?”
Shona turned around to see Lucy’s bright eyes staring at her. Dee and Bertie, as if they were watching a tennis match, flicked their heads between Shona and Lucy and back again, weighing each person’s reactions. Shona tapped her foot on the ground, fully aware that there were now three pairs of eyes on her.
“What?” she grunted at Bertie, who held her palms up in surrender, then disappeared into the back room.
“Can I get some service down here?” a salty-voiced customer called out.
“Coming,” Dee called back, then walked over to them.
Shona took another swig of her Coke trying to remain as low key as she could, but Lucy was already making her way over.
“Hi Shona. I’ve got a booth. You wanna come sit with me for a bit?” Painfully aware of how good Lucy looked, and smelled, Shona shook her head and returned to her drink. “It’d be nice to catch up properly. I’d like to clear the air properly if it was possible? Please?”
Shona lifted her elbows off the bar top and sauntered over to the booth. She sank down into the leather seat, bottle in hand still.
“How ‘bout something stronger? Beer?” Lucy asked when Shona had drained her last drop of Coke.
“Why not? Of all days…I need it,” Shona shrugged.
Within twenty minutes, and three beers downed, the mood began to lift.
“So, I got the job after my mother, bless her meddling, spoke to old sourpuss Miller and pulled a few strings. It’s only my first proper job. I’ve been doing the odd semester here and there, but since I got home to Monterey all those years back, I’ve struggled to settle. Then I met this guy, but he wasn’t what I wanted, you know?” Her light brown eyes locked onto Shona’s half-drunk blue ones.
“So, why this school?” Shona slurred.
“Well, Sunnybrook is only a few miles away from home, so it seemed perfect. And my mom used to be the principal before Miller got the gig. It made sense. It used to be my preschool too, so I felt right at home. Your boy is beautiful.”
“I know. Nothing like his no-good father,” Shona added under her breath.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Where did you go after Mississippi, Shona? I rang Dorothy every day for a month, but she wouldn’t say. I just wanted to explain.” Lucy placed her hand on top of Shona’s, but it was shaken off.
“Alabama. I had no choice but to keep moving. I thought Chuck would come after me and finish the job.” She fixed her stare on Lucy. “You’re the reason I had to leave the best place I’d ever lived and the best job I’ve ever had. I had to leave Dorothy all on her own again, just when I was starting to build a life.”
“How is Dorothy?” Lucy asked.
“She died. A few years ago now.”
The air fell silent between them. Lucy wiped away a strand of hair from her cheek. “I’m sorry, Shona. I know how much you loved her. Is she still in Mississippi? Can you visit her grave?”
“She came here to live with us when David was born. She’s buried here. I should never have had to leave her, Lucy. I was happy in Mississippi.” Shona’s eyes were damp as she finished her beer.
“What can I do to make this right, Shona? Please tell me.”
“You can’t change the past.”
“I know.” A smile began to form in the corner of Lucy’s mouth. “But I can get us some bourbon chasers. Come on, for old times’ sake. Have a proper drink with me?”
Within minutes Lucy was back at the table with two shot glasses and a bottle of bourbon.
“To old times,” Lucy said, pouring them both a shot and laughing as they both downed it in one huge gulp.
Feeling the alcohol fizz through her body, Shona looked at Lucy properly for the first time since they’d found each other again. Her beautiful face was expertly made up, and her gorgeous red and black shimmery cocktail dress hugged every perfect curve. She had hardly aged a day, even though eight years had passed, but there was something about Lucy that intrigued Shona. Regardless of all the hate and anger she’d felt until this night, she had always wondered about Lucy. What would it have been like if they had kissed that night?
What if Chuck hadn’t burst in?
Bertie had returned to the bar from the back room an hour later to see Shona and Lucy laughing and drinking shot after shot of bourbon, the bottle almost empty in front of them.
“I don’t think Chloe will be too happy about Lucy bird-dogging her girlfriend, do you?” Dee said as she came up behind her.
“No, I don’t think she would,” Bertie replied, her eyes narrowing as she watched Lucy’s hands wandering over Shona’s arm, then disappearing underneath the table to rest on her knee.
Dee sucked in her cheeks. “Is that woman not content with having that Chloe in her bed? She has to bag another hottie too? Save some for the rest of us, why don’t you?”
“Lucy and Chloe do look very similar, though, don’t they? Shona’s obviously got a type,” Bertie tutted.
“Maybe you should ring Chloe? Get her down here and stop Shona making a big mistake. They got a kid, remember?”
Bertie looked at Dee and shook her head. “I’m not getting involved. If she wants to throw it all away for a one-nighter then it’s up to her. I run a bar, not a counselling service.”
By the time Dee and Bertie looked back over to the booth, Lucy and Shona had disappeared.
Chloe was climbing the walls with worry. It was way past midnight and Shona still wasn’t home. Not wanting to leave David alone again, like last time, she picked up the telephone and called Bertie’s bar.
“Yeah?” answered a sharp voice.
“Oh, hi, is Shona there?”
“Who?”
“Shona? Blonde hair, green and black checked shirt? Probably got a crowd of women around her,” Chloe added.
“Oh yeah, Shona. The mechanic. She was here, but she left about an hour ago with a brown-haired woman. The teacher from Fairview. Hello? Hello?”
Chapter 36
Chloe woke up on the couch after barely an hour of sleep. There was still no sign of Shona. Fighting back tears, she busied herself with her normal morning routine: getting David washed, dressed and ready for preschool. Seeing no sign of Shona at the garage on her way to drop him off, her anxiety began to grow by the second. As soon as she got David outside his classroom, her emotions spilled over. Encouraging him to go catch the last five minutes of playtime out in the yard, she then strode straight up to Lucy, who was sitting at her desk preparing the morning’s activities.
“Where the hell is Shona?” Chloe growled as quietly as her remaining self-control would allow.
Lucy looked up half in shock and half in surprise. “What?”
“You heard me. I called the bar. I know you spent the night with her. She never came home last night and she’s not at the garage. So where is she?” Chloe slammed her palms down on Lucy’s desk, causing her neatly folded paper cutouts to spread out.
“Look, Mrs. Clark, you need to calm down. The children will be in from play in a minute and I don’t want them to hear you say something you’ll regret.”
; “Ha. That’s rich, you being all caring and responsible all of a sudden. Shona told me all about what you did to her back in Mississippi. She told me what you were. What you are.” Chloe almost spat that last sentence out, leaving it hanging in the air like a stain. “The disgusting things you used to do for money. ‘Slut,’ that’s what she calls you,” Chloe lied, aiming low on purpose. “You’re not responsible enough to look after my dog, let alone my child. I’ll tell the principal everything.”
“Tell her what exactly? Tell her that I’m the reason why your sister, who is actually your girlfriend, was beaten up because she’s queer? How does that sound? You’d have that poor boy out there taken away from you again before you could finish your sentence.”
Chloe was speechless, half with rage, the other half knowing Lucy was right.
“We both got secrets, right?” Lucy added, nodding to encourage Chloe to agree.
“I just want to know where Shona is,” Chloe murmured.
“Shona came home with me last night,” Lucy revealed. Chloe’s eyes widened, then let out of huge wave of tears. “We got a cab home. She was drunk, and yes, I made a pass at her.” Lucy heaved in a huge sigh. Chloe couldn’t even breathe. “But no matter how much I tried, all she could do was ramble on about how much she loved you. She is completely devoted to you.”
Chloe’s eyes refocused as she tried to take in what Lucy was saying. “You didn’t sleep together?”
“No. She passed out on my couch. I threw a blanket over her and by the time I came out of my bedroom this morning, she was gone.” Lucy shook her head. “I screwed up all those years ago. I had my chance, so now I guess I’ll always be left wondering. That’s my punishment.” She looked up at the clock. “I gotta bring the kids in now. Go sort things out with her, Chloe—she loves you.”
Minnie had been sitting in her living room telling Shona all about her latest visit with her husband for over ten minutes before she stopped and wrinkled her brow. “What’s the matter, Shona? You seem like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders since you got here.”
“Hmm?” Shona replied, snatched from her daydream. “Oh, I’m real sorry, Minnie. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
“You can tell me anything, you know that,” Minnie said, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Did something happen last night? I mean, I’m not used to having guests knock on my door at 7 a.m.”
“That’s just it, though, Minnie. I can’t fully remember what happened last night,” Shona replied, then began filling Minnie in on her troubles with Chloe and her night with Lucy. Minnie listened quietly as Shona spoke. “And while I was asleep on her couch, I had a dream.” Shona paused, her face reddening. “About what it might have been like that night, if Chuck hadn’t burst in. Oh Minnie, we were so close to kissing, we might have ended up…”
Minnie tutted. “Oh, Shona, you think this old duffer has never had sex? I’m not too old to hear the words, y’know.” She let a tiny smile cross her lips and encouraged Shona to go on.
“I think I told Lucy ‘no’ when she tried to take me to her bedroom last night, but I can’t remember if she talked me round. It’s all a blur. I’d had way too much to drink and I don’t usually touch the hard stuff. Chloe is all I have ever wanted.” Shona paused and rubbed her forehead. “But I woke up feeling like if something hadn’t happened between me and Lucy last night then I’d have missed out. Does that make any sense? Lucy never knew I was starting to feel something for her back in Mississippi, and if she had kissed me back then I wouldn’t have stopped her. I was so confused after everything that happened when I was a kid back in Louisiana that I couldn’t read the signs with Lucy until that last moment. And just when I figured it out, and I had the chance to go for it, in burst that ogre Chuck. Then I met Chloe in Alabama and I fell completely in love. She loved me from the moment she saw me, and I her. We’ve been through so much together that I know in my heart I wanna be with her for the rest of my life, Minnie. So why do I feel like this about Lucy?”
Minnie leaned back in her chair. “And how is it you feel about Lucy?”
“Curious. Like there was so much more to happen with us. But now it can’t. Do you understand?”
Minnie nodded. “Shona, this is the oldest problem in the book. ‘What if I’d done this differently? What if that had happened instead?’ You think other people don’t feel like this sometimes?”
“Do they?”
“Of course they do. But let me ask you one thing.”
“OK?”
Minnie took a deep breath. “Can you imagine your life without Chloe and David in it?”
Shona shook her head.
“Then there’s your answer. Lucy is just the one who might have been, not the one who should be. Chloe is your future. It takes more than one temptation to break something as strong as what you two have. So talk to her. Tell her how you feel, before it’s too late.”
Lucy was staring into space later that afternoon as the class sat at their tables painting. When he had finished, David got up and walked over to Lucy’s desk. He lay his still-wet picture down in front of her and grinned.
“I’ve finished, miss.”
Lucy snapped back into reality and gazed down at the picture. What she saw nearly brought her to tears. There was a beautiful white house in the middle of the paper, with blue window frames and the ocean behind it. Standing in front of the house was a stick woman with brown hair wearing a red and white polka dot dress and red pumps. The second stick figure was wearing blue overalls, brown boots and had bright yellow hair. Between them stood a smaller figure dressed in exactly the same color clothes as David was wearing today. The stick boy was holding a hand of each of the two stick figures on either side of him, all three faces with wide smiles on their red painted lips. A yellow stick dog with a red collar was sitting next to the group holding a bone in his mouth. There was a bright sun shining in the blue painted sky and floating above the house was an angel, wearing a white blouse, green cardigan and pale blue full skirt. The angel was smiling and above her greying hair bun was a bright yellow halo. At the top of the paper David had written ‘My Happy Place’ in green paint.
“You like it?” David asked. “It’s my favorite place in the whole world. There’s Momma, and Shona, and Cooper, and me. Grandma Dorothy keeps an eye on me from Heaven.” He stood back from the desk after pointing out all the figures.
“It’s a beautiful picture, David. Your momma will love it. Go put it on the rack to dry. You can take it home later.”
Every word Lucy spoke was harder to force out than the previous one, the lump in her throat almost choking her. David obeyed just as Polly came in to pass on a message. Standing up, Lucy excused herself and left the class in Polly’s hands.
Lucy called Shona to ask her to pick David up that afternoon. She didn’t feel right about going round to the beach house, not with Chloe there. It was hard enough to say what she had to say to Shona without seeing her rival in the beautiful home David had painted. When Shona arrived at the school gates, Lucy walked him over to her.
“Jump in the truck, kid. I won’t be long. I just gotta talk to your teacher,” Shona instructed, knowing that she had her own question to ask Lucy. David obeyed and sat in the passenger seat. She then walked over to Lucy who had hung back.
“Hi,” Lucy said.
“Hi.” Shona toed the dirt as she struggled to find the words to ask what she needed to know. “Um… Last night. Did we…?”
“What?” Lucy blushed, understanding the question. It felt like an age to Shona before Lucy answered. “No, Shona, we didn’t. You couldn’t stop talking about Chloe and how much she meant to you.”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to do that. I just—”
“I’m leaving, Shona,” Lucy interjected, her face set. “At the end of this semester. I can’t be here anymore, seeing you all the time. I can’t be the reason that poor boy has his family ripped apart by me not being able to stay away from you. You and Chloe
are his whole world and I can’t come between that.” She paused and looked Shona square in the eye. “I love you, Shona. I always have. And I always will.” The words caught in her throat as she fought with all her might to stop the tears from falling. “So I need to walk away.”
Lucy turned to leave until Shona called out to her. Lucy turned around waiting, hoping, that Shona would say the words she’d been aching to hear for eight long years.
“Do you ever wonder what might have been? If Chuck hadn’t burst in that moment?” Shona asked, her own voice cracking.
Lucy didn’t hesitate before replying, “I think about it more than you’ll ever know”
“You ever wonder what that kiss would have been like?” Shona prodded
Lucy let out a sigh and cast her arms wide as she looked to the heavens. “Every day of my life since that night, even when I was with other people, but… Well, I guess we’ll never know now.”
Chapter 37
All the way home, Shona couldn’t get what Lucy had told her out of her mind. In her heart, she knew it was for the best and now she had to make it right with Chloe. Stopping off at the little flower shop before going home, Shona picked out the biggest bunch of red roses they had.
“We’re home,” she called out, closing the front door behind her and David, who ran off into the yard after Cooper who’d bounded up to him.
Shona placed David’s painting on the coffee table, then crept down the hallway with her bunch of flowers and over to the bedroom door. She opened it a crack and peeked inside. There, in front of the mirror, Chloe was about to try on a new red and white striped dress she’d bought that afternoon. Shona, without realizing she was doing it, simply stared at Chloe’s body, naked save for her panties.