by Emjay Soren
Holy fuck!
Yeah…holy fuck!
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Noah says matter of fact and I hope that Chad smacks him but alas he doesn’t. This is getting too ugly and too heated for my sake.
“Well then open your eyes.” I say through the window and know I have simply scared the hell out of them both. I walk out the door to stand in the sun and maybe steal a few drags from Noah’s smoke. Taking it from him I go willingly to Chad’s arms.
“You were supposed to be sleeping.” Chad says and kisses me on the tip of my nose his hand slides down my back in a gentle caress that is nothing like his obvious anger at Noah.
I take a drag and let the nicotine work its magic. I hate the smell of smoke and I hate the taste, but every now and then it is the only cure to anger and pain and a few drags go a long way. “I woke up and you were gone then I heard you guys and listened like a creeper.”
No sense in lying. I owned it.
“We woke you?” Noah asks and it’s the first time we have talked since the fight last night. I shake my head no but can’t look at him. I love him dearly and I know that this will blow over. Noah is the most constant and caring person in my life, but that makes it easy for him to hurt me too. He called me a whore and stupid in the same breath. It will take some serious time before I can let that go.
“Nightmare.” I say and leave it at that. Noah knows that the weight of that one word is almost unbearable. Chad knows now too.
Chad doesn’t ask questions and I am so grateful for that. “I was telling your brother that last night was ugly, we talked and to back off.” He says before pulling me in front of him and wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. The sun is bright, and the water is calm. The temperature is perfect, and I want to bask in the perfection of a warm Washington day.
“Good I’m glad we all agree.” I look to Noah, “I am an adult and whatever my needs or fears I will discuss them with Chad because he is the other half of the issue your having. I also know Chad likes to sex a lot and I know he has had a lot of it. I am not a prude Noah and I’m not blind of the things I see. All of this between Chad and I, it’s affecting my relationship with you and your relationship with Chad.” I move from Chad’s arms and pull another drag from the smoke.
I stop before Noah and look him strait in the eye. “He was wrong bubba; we have people who love us and care for us and he can’t take that I won’t let him fucking have it.” I say nothing else and turn to look at Chad who looks sad and proud if that’s even a combination.
“Wanna go to Pikes today?” I ask desperate to enjoy the sun and bask in it for a change. The double meaning not lost on me one bit.
*
Driving from Gig Harbor to Pikes Pier in Seattle was no more than an hour but I wished it had been longer. Chad had opened the door for me and as I climbed in his truck, he gave my ass a light tap before closing the door. Before I could get my seatbelt on, he was in the truck and wrapping his hand around my thigh pulling me into the middle of the bench so I sat right next to him.
He had kept his hand there the entire time unless he was shifting gears. He even drove sexy. I could see every defined muscle on his tattooed arms when he held the wheel or shifted gears, between my legs no less. His hand always returned to the inside of my thighs but never touching me enough.
“I always wanted to do this.” He says and looks in the rearview before changing lanes.
“What, go to the Pier? You’re kidding me, right?”
He gives me a look that says, ‘oh please’ and shakes his head. “No baby I have been to the Pier about a hundred times. I meant this.” He motions between us and our closeness. “I have never had a girl sitting like this in my truck. I like having you all close to me where I can touch you and smell you right at my side.”
Well I had nothing to say to that, so I smiled and basked in his happiness. “You look sexy as hell too.”
“Ah I knew it was coming. There’s the Chad Blake I know and love.” I gasped the instant I said it feeling like a complete tool. I said love and there was no way to back pedal this one, so I just carried on like I said nothing, my cheeks the same red as the tank top I wore. “Thanks, I wasn’t sure if the humidity was too high, but I prefer Capri pants to shorts or jeans.” I rambled on about my black fitted Capri’s and the red flip flops I was wearing.
When I could only ramble so long about my basic attire, I just sunk back into the bench seat and hoped to die. He laughed and leaned in to kiss the cap of my shoulder quickly careful to not lose control of the road. “I knew what you meant Carrie Girl. I love you too because I have known you for years. The goal is to get you to be in love with me.” He says it genuinely and with a panty dropping smile.
“The goal huh?” I ask teasingly.
“I’m trying baby, I’m trying.” He gives me that wink and I feel myself fall deeper. It is one thing to be in love with someone you haven’t known for five years. It takes time to know a person and their quirks. Take knowing Chad for five years and already knowing what makes Chad, Chad and then bring in the physical components and it won’t take much to fall in a new and different love with him.
That is my conundrum with Chad Blake in a nutshell.
*
We get to the pier and it is all that it should be. Crowds have gathered to stand in the spotlight of the sun knowing that it is a rare and awesome treat. I buy a bottle of farm made honey and some organic apples when Chad stops in front of a flower vendor. There is an array of wildflowers in separate green pots in every shade imaginable. Chad leans in behind me and kisses me on my neck before asking against my ear, “any of these flowers your favorite?” I shiver as his lips vibrate against the lobe of my ear as he speaks, and he laughs before biting it gently.
Oh my god I think I could come!
“God you surprise me every time I touch you baby.” He says and pulls back, and his absence has me desperate to get him back and driving me even more crazy.
“None of these are my favorite. Most vendors wouldn’t carry them because they don’t live long and are night blooming.”
He taps his chin and winks. “A clue into the floral mystery of one Carrie Beckett.”
I just shake my head and don’t bother telling him that I love daisies as much as the night blooming Jasmine because I kind of like how he keeps asking and guessing. He walks past me where just ahead is another floral vendor and this time he picks an orchid and I wonder what he is thinking. He has it wrapped in green cellophane and then brings it to me with a smile that melts me.
“This is my favorite because it’s wicked looking. Until I figure out your flower, you can borrow mine.”
Hell, is this even the same Chad I have known all these years because this guy is making it hard to hold back? I again have no words and slowly lean in until we are chest to chest. My hands are holding a flower in one and honey and apples in the other, but I don’t care. I lean in and stand on my tip toes and kiss him soft and sweet, letting my lips linger longer then I should but he tastes divine.
He immediately wraps his arms around the small of my back and holds me to him kissing me back. Yeah, I am definitely falling for this guy. “What was that for?” He asks me softly and in all seriousness. He swipes his thumb across my bottom lip like it’s an afterthought.
I want to answer this question as best I can because there are a million and one reasons I kissed him. “Because you make me want to breathe you in just so I can keep feeling like this.”
He just scoops my hair from my neck so he can grip it in his hand and pulls me in for an intense kiss that is telling on a gazillion levels. “Damn babe…” He sighs and peppers my lips with more soft kisses.
We hold hands and walk through the pier looking and shopping and just taking all this crazy attraction in and let it absorb us because it feels that amazing. “When is your next show babe?” I ask when I see a vintage concert t shirt that was from a Van Morrison concert in 79’and think of
Noah because he loves Van Morrison.
He is smiling from ear to ear and I know it’s because I called him babe. He is that easy to please. “We have one on Wednesday and Friday. Noah wouldn’t let us book the last Saturday of the month.” I know why but I am not saying anything.
“Don’t be coy baby it’s not doing you any good.” He laughs and grabs my hip pulling me along his side away from the vintage store. “I know it’s your twenty-first birthday.” He looks at me, “Noah said something about tradition and bad music?”
I laugh whole heartedly now because Noah hates my obsession with boy bands. I love music of every kind and prefer it a little harder and darker, but I love my boy bands fiercely. “Yeah yeah bad music I know.” I roll my eyes and stop to grab Chad’s hand. “Do you know that if it wasn’t for “bad music” there would be no clubs and without clubs there would be fewer options for your band to play, so it’s really the circle of musical life.”
He shrugs his shoulders in indifference and we continue walking. “I’m fine with singing from rooftops and house parties and out at the pier baby. I’m not in it for the club scene.”
“Nope just the pussy right?” I snap and I have no clue where it came from.
Chad looks shocked and surprised and honestly, I am too. “I am so sorry. I don’t know why I said that Chad.”
He shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. “I know what you think of me Carrie and I’m never gonna defend what I’ve done but I can’t be ashamed of it either.” He looks at me and takes my hand and twines our fingers loosely. “I want you to listen to me now and hear me loud and clear so there are no mistakes.” I look around and see that there are no people close by and that we are out on the pier.
“For the last three years I have been with women but all I saw was you. I was partial to blondes who smelled of beer and cheap perfume when all I wanted was cherries and vanilla. Every time I kissed them, I closed my eyes and saw your face. The reality of them was always lacking and that’s when a few months back I went cold turkey on the women. I got tested and stayed away. I realized that those women were a pale impression, not even a shadow of your beauty and they lacked your charisma. I know it sounds crazy and more than a little fucked up but there it is. I am not Prince Charming or a shining Knight on a white horse. I’m a dude with over forty tattoos and ten piercings and nowhere near your league. I may never be more than a tattoo artist and I may one day be famous, either way Carrie I’m yours and have been since I met you. It just took me some time to get it right.”
I felt tears filling my eyes and I was so scared to blink and have them fall or worse, wake from a dream. Who says that stuff I mean really? And more importantly what type of woman am I for thinking that was the most romantic thing I have ever heard? I don’t care what anyone thinks or says, when the man of your dreams tells you that he fills the empty space in his life with substitutes for wanting you, you’ll feel what I feel and understand in a totally fucked up way exactly how bad you were missed. If I wasn’t looking at his face to see the clarity and sincerity, I could hear it in his voice; the natural inflections of his sarcasm and serious side meeting to sweep me off my feet.
I grabbed him behind the neck and kissed him.
I kissed him for all the nights he used other women trying to forget me. I kissed him for loving cherries and vanilla because I smell like cherries and vanilla. I kissed him because I was sitting in the nosebleed section of the wrong league, but he wanted me anyway. I kissed him because he finds beauty in my ugly, happy in my sad and doesn’t make me say why… I kissed him because he is a tattooed, pierced, foul mouthed, horny, drop dead sexy, guitar playing Rockstar with a tattoo gun.
I kissed him because he is mine.
“Get me out of here.” I whisper against his lips. He’s holding me so tight that I can feel his erection against my stomach.
“Where do you want to go baby?”
Here it was, the moment that things would never be the same between us. “I don’t care. I just want to be alone with you Chad.”
Chapter Ten
Chad
We were quiet on the drive back, an easy silence as I stroked her thigh with my thumb. Something shifted from the fun late last night to the Pier today. I have no expectations with Carrie so alone with her could mean anything. Turns out she handles my dick fine and I am content to move in and set up shop on third base if I have to.
“You said you wanted me alone, but my gramps is home still.” I explain though I know her reaction won’t be shitty, I guess it’s the one thing I’m self-conscious about, but unwilling to change. Gramps is my best friend, my confidant and until Carrie, he has always been my number one. “The gramps is cool, but he can cramp my style.”
“I actually don’t mind seeing Harvey. I haven’t seen him since Thanksgiving break last year.”
I kissed her then. Hard. I would have lingered and recited poetry to her then and there if the light didn’t change.
“What was that for?”
Taking her hand in mine and shrug as I try to explain it. “Because. In the past when girls find out I still live at home with gramps they think it’s weird or that I’m broke or bad credit. They tell me this shit too like it actually mattered to them when in reality they didn’t want me. They wanted the lead singer in TAT or the guy that inked their skin. Not one of them ever asked to meet him, about him or why we were roomies. You get it and you love the old guy. That makes me want to kiss you… a lot.”
She smiles and she is so damn beautiful it makes my heart race. “Well Harvey is not your typical grandpa. He’s a horny old wild cat and has a social life that would rival most the college guys I know.”
Fact.
“That he is.” I agree and pull into our neighborhood. “I think he has bingo tonight but not till later.”
I say as I turn the truck off and toy with my keys. I think I’m actually fucking nervous, and I don’t get nervous.
“It’s fine Chad. I haven’t got plans tonight. Unless you have plans tonight, I’m fine just hanging out.”
That has me laughing as I roll my eyes, settling my nerves. “Stop fishing Carrie. You are my plans, tonight and every night. You said you wanted me alone and this is the opposite of alone. gramps is gonna freak when he sees you with me. Hell, he’s gonna probably cancel bingo so he can hit on you all night.”
She squeezes my hand and the nerves are back. “Harvey will either go to bingo or at some point go to bed. There’s no rush.”
“There is no rush baby. You know, that right? I’m fine there’s no pressure here.” I meant every single word too.
I’m busy kissing on her when I hear gramps and the dad whistle, he has that still causes fear. “Get the damn girl in here Chad before I smack you in the back of the head.”
Raising my middle finger to the old cock block himself, I keep on kissing her.
Carrie
“Well it’s about damn time that boy of mine hooked you.” Harvey laughs and steps out to meet me on the porch and pulls me in for a hug. He looks nothing like Chad, but they act the same. Harvey has a head full of thick black hair with streaks of silver around the edges. He isn’t much taller than Chad maybe an inch or two and his eyes are a deep cobalt blue. I have seen pictures of Chad’s mom on the wall the few times I have been here, and you can see her resemblance to her father. He is dressed in his usual jeans and a t shirt. Most of his shirts are printed with fishing items or Harley Davidson but tonight he wears a blue that makes his eyes pop and I can smell the cologne.
“How are you Harvey?” I ask when he releases me to Chad’s relief. I kind of like that even in his grandfather’s arms he misses me.
“Better now that I know your keeping Chad company. He said he was dating you, but I didn’t believe it. Damn boy’s been pining for you since the day he met ya sweetie. I’m only glad you opened your eyes and noticed him.”
I hung on every word Harvey said when he spoke of Chad’s ongoing desire for me and couldn’t help but
blush. “Thanks gramps. Any more personal shit you want to share with Carrie?” Chad gripes but I can tell he isn’t really angry with Harvey, just a little embarrassed. He should be thankful because each time I hear about Chad pining for me, it makes me fall even harder. I can’t imagine what it was like for him to be so into me and never let me on to the fact.
Harvey smiles and looks at me. “Nope don’t want to scare her off already.” He gives me the same wink that Chad does and though they don’t resemble one another in the slightest, their actions are identical. “Come on in we’ll have a drink before I have to go to bingo. I’m meeting Letty Valdez there tonight and I want to get there early because she likes sitting up close.”
I take the wine Harvey hands me and sit at the kitchen table next to Chad. His hand finds mine in my lap and my stomach flutters when his thumb strokes my knuckles. “Why do you go to bingo Harvey? You seem too young.” I ask and sip from my wine hiding my smile as Chad drops my hand and grasps my thigh just shy of where I can’t wait to feel him again.
“Oh, hell girl bingo gets a bad rap. There is some damn fine tail there and its cheap fun, cheap drinks and I win some pretty cool shit.” God, he cracks me up this man.
“Well you sold me. Maybe next time me and Chad can tag along, see what the fuss is about.” My voice cracks when Chad’s thumb traces the crease of my thigh.
“It’s a date,” he says and then looks to Chad. They seem to have a wordless conversation and before I can ask or even guess what’s going on Harvey smiles and nods. “Well it’s about that time.” He says looking at the clock and pouring an almost full beer down the sink. He dries his hands and walks over to me dropping a kiss on my cheek. I stand to hug him, and he whispers in my ear, “be good to him darlin’ you’re about the only thing that can break my boy.”