by J. S. Cooper
I stared at him, surprised that he could remember an entire poem. "Wow. I'm impressed. I wouldn’t have expected that from you."
"There are many things you don't know about me, Olivia."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"Like that I love poetry. Did you know that?"
"No, I can honestly say I didn't." I felt ashamed of myself for judging him, thinking he was only a jock, thinking all he cared about was women and playing them. He had more depth to that, and I knew it, yet I still judged him unfairly. "Why did you tell me that poem, Tyler? I don't really get it."
"I think I told it to you because there are always multiple paths in life, right? There are some that are easier. There are some that are harder. And, well, sometimes you just have to go down the path that your heart tells you to go down.”
"What are you saying, Tyler?"
"I'm just saying that ... I don't know." He shook his head and smiled. "Maybe I'm being too intense right now. Let's get these drinks, and then we can talk about something lighter."
"We don't have to talk about something lighter if you don't want to." I reached up and stroked his hair. A lock of blond fell out in my hand, and I gasped. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened."
"What is it?" He looked taken aback.
I held my hand up. "Some of your hair came out. I don't know why."
"Oh." Something like distress crossed his face then he arranged his expression into a smirk. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just molting like a fur coat.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
I forced a little laugh, but inside I was worried. Was Tyler okay? Why had been so self-conscious about his appearance yesterday when I'd teased him about being bony. And now his hair was coming out. My heart thudded in my ears as I studied his face. He was still the same handsome Tyler, but his face was a little thinner. I thought initially it was because he'd grown up now and had lost the baby fat he’d had when we were younger. But it was more than that.
I made a mental note to myself to speak to Derrick and ask him if he knew anything. Had Tyler had come down with some sort of sickness? Maybe he was getting over the flu or something. I swallowed. What if it was something more serious than that? But if it were, he’d tell us … wouldn’t he?
I took a deep sigh and followed him over to the bar where he had just gotten our drinks. He handed me a rum and Coke with a big smile. "Cheers."
We clinked glasses, and I took a long sip of the drink, welcoming the cool liquid as it rolled smoothly down my throat.
"Thanks. Do you want to have a seat?" I said as I looked around the room for somewhere to sit. Brandon was staring at us from an empty table, shaking his head, his eyes following us as we moved. I felt bad. Brandon and I had had a connection and now he must now think I was some sort of player. Who goes to a speed-dating event when they've got a guy waiting for them at home?
But he didn't understand the complexity of the situation. He didn't understand that Tyler was more than just a guy I kissed last night. Tyler had been in my life as long as I could remember, and I’d always thought he’d be in my life forever. I didn't know if we were to become more intimate if that would change. What if we made out or even had sex and it didn't work out and that ruined the friendship? Would I also be responsible for ruining his friendship with my brother?
Derrick was a fun guy and pretty lighthearted. He was always with different women, always flirting around. But I knew how much Tyler meant to him. Tyler had been his constant friend through everything he'd been through. And I knew that when he was in high school, he'd faced some horrible teasing from some of his teammates. Tyler had been the one who had spoken to the other guys and told them to cool it. He had proven himself to be a good friend, and I didn't want to be the girl who got in the middle of that friendship. I loved my brother, and I knew that Tyler was really his only true friend. Could I risk their friendship as well?
"What do you think, Olivia?"
"Sorry. What do I think about what?" I realized that my mind had been drifting and thinking about other things.
"Wow. You must really be thinking hard about me, huh?"
"No, I'm not, Tyler."
"Don't lie. I know what you're thinking."
"What am I thinking, then?"
"You're thinking, what would it be like to take his shirt off and kiss him?"
"I don't think so," I laughed.
"You're thinking, what would it be like to pull down his zipper?"
"Tyler!" I shook my head at him. "That's enough."
“You're thinking, what would it be like to put my hand down his boxers and touch his—"
"Enough. Tyler, stop," I said before he could say the word that would make me blush even harder.
"What? Don't you like to hear the word cock?"
"Tyler!"
"First you didn't like pussy, and now you don't like cock."
"Tyler, if you keep saying that word, I am going to scream."
"Cock, cock, cock," he sang.
I rolled my eyes. "You're really too much."
"Am I too much, Olivia? Or do you secretly love it? Do you secretly dream about me?"
"Dream about you doing what?"
He wiggled his eyebrows. "You know what? I'm going to stop now, though. I don't want to get you too hot and bothered."
"You're not getting me hot and bothered, Tyler. I think you're getting yourself hot and bothered."
"Oh, yeah? Well, how would you like to see if your theory is true?"
"How am I going to see if my theory is true?" I held my hand up to his forehead, and he flinched. "Sorry, I didn't realize you didn't like me touching you."
"No, it's not that." He sighed. "I just don't like when people touch my forehead to feel for my temperature."
"Why?"
"Because it's just happened to me a lot recently."
"Oh?"
My eyes searched his, and he just shook his head. "Not now, Olivia."
"Okay."
An unspoken understanding flowed between us in that moment. Something had been wrong with him, I could tell. But now was not the time to bring it up. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. And I had to respect his wishes. I only hoped that he'd be able to trust me and tell me later on exactly what had been going on.
"So, do you want to test my theory?" he asked me teasingly, a smile on his face again.
"How am I meant to test your theory, Tyler?"
"Well, you want to know if I'm hot and bothered, don’t you?"
"No, I don't really want to know if you're hot and bothered. I just assume you're hot and bothered."
"And why would you assume that?"
"I assume that because you're here with me, and well, I'm hot. So you would be bothered." I laughed, and he laughed too. It felt nice to be bantering with him again.
"Well, give me your hand," he said.
"Why would I give you my hand?" I stepped back from him.
"Give me your hand." He took a step towards me and grabbed it.
"Tyler, what are you doing?"
"Nothing," he said. And then he ran my hand down the front of his pants. The hardness there made me gasp and jump back.
"Oh, my gosh, Tyler. You did not just put my hand there!"
"Put your hand where?" he said with a little wink.
"You just put my hand on your erection."
"Oh, yeah. That's what we're calling it these days, huh?"
"Tyler, that is disgusting."
"Was it disgusting, or are you just turned on?"
"Tyler, I am not turned on," I lied. I could still feel the imprint of him against my hand. He had been hard as a rock, and from the feel of it, he was as big as one too.
"Can I tell you something, Olivia?"
"What, Tyler?"
"You have to promise not to be shocked, though."
"I can't promise anything."
"Okay. Well, then, I'm not going to tell you."
"No. Tell me. Tell me."
"I really
want to kiss you right now."
"Really? That's what you wanted to tell me?"
"Well, yeah. I wanted to tell you that because I was hoping you would say you felt the same way."
"You were hoping I'd say that I wanted you to kiss me too?" I said softly as he inched closer to me.
"Yes," he whispered.
I could feel his warm breath tickling the inside of my ear, and I shivered. His arms slipped around my waist, and he pulled me into him.
"Olivia?"
"Yes, Tyler?" I whispered.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked softly.
I nodded slightly. And before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine yet again. I could feel his warm lips pressed against mine as his gin-soaked tongue entered my mouth. I sucked on it, enjoying the warm masculine body next to me as my hands came around his neck and played with his hair lightly.
Tyler's lips pressed down hard on mine, and it was almost as if he were trying to breathe me into him. One hand slid down over my ass, squeezing, and I moaned against his lips. He seemed to enjoy my whimpering because he squeezed my butt even harder. We were starting to get carried away. All I wanted to do was undo the buttons of his shirt so that I could take it off. I wanted to touch his bare skin. I wanted to feel his chest hair against my fingertips. I wanted to rub my palms against his nipples. I wanted to feel him, to touch him, to taste him. I wanted to do all those things that I'd thought about for so many years and never been able to do.
But he pulled away from me slightly, and I came to my senses. We were still in the bar. People were looking at us. I felt my cheeks heat up. What was I doing?
"Want to get out of here, Olivia?" Tyler raised a questioning eyebrow at me. I wasn't going to lie to him, and I wasn't going to lie to myself. It had been too long. I needed this. I needed it more than I'd ever needed anything in the world. Nothing in this moment mattered more than being with Tyler.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bar, but when we got to the corner, he paused.
"Are you sure you want this, Olivia?" Tyler looked at me. There was lust in his eyes but something else as well, something more, and I trembled a little harder.
"Yes. I'm sure." I squeezed his hand. His face lit up with happiness and he pushed me back against the side of the nearest building, holding my hands up so that I couldn't move them. He kissed the side of my neck all the way down to my shoulder blades, then all the way along my collarbone and up my neck again until he reached my lips.
"Once we get back to your place, Olivia, I'm going to show you what it's like to be with a real man.” His voice was hoarse. “You hear me?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I do. I hear you."
"Then tell me now. Tell me that you want it."
"I do want it," I whispered. "I told you that."
"I want to know that you want me, Olivia. I want to know that you want me more than you've ever wanted anyone in your whole life." His eyes were blazing, and I stared at him.
"Tyler, what's going on?"
"Tell me, Olivia."
"I want you, Tyler. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted in my whole life. It's true."
"And have you always wanted this? Have you always wanted me? Have you fantasized about me since you were young?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I have. How did you know?"
"Because, Olivia, I've always wanted you as well."
Chapter 14
Tyler
* * *
I kissed Olivia with all the passion and tenderness I had. Every inch of me wanted to touch every inch of her. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop myself once we finally got this going. I searched her eyes trying to see what she was thinking and what she was feeling.
"Can I ask you a question?" I said softly, knowing that her answer could break my heart.
"Sure. What, what is it?" She looked back at me, her lips parted slightly.
"I want you to tell me what you see when you look at me."
She looked surprised. "What do you mean, what do I see when I look at you?"
"What do you see? Tell me. Describe me to me."
"Tyler, I don't really know what you're asking me." Her expression was a cross between baffled and amused. "Do you want me to tell you that you're a hot-ass hunky-dunky gorgeous guy or whatever it was you called yourself the other day?"
"No. I want you to tell me in your own words what you see when you look at me."
She seemed to understand the seriousness of the question because she took a step back and was quiet for a long time. Well, maybe it was seconds. Maybe it was minutes. I don't really know. It felt like an eternity. And then she opened her mouth and spoke.
"Tyler, when I look at you, I see a strong, handsome, intelligent man. I see bright blue eyes that call to me just like the ocean does when I go to the beach. I see silky, luxurious golden blonde hair that I want to run my fingers through. I see a strong jaw that indicates how stubborn you are, how annoying you can be when we argue. I see strong hands that can protect me, make me feel warm, and make me feel comforted at any time of day. I see a chest built for holding me close, protecting me from the wind and the cold. And I see kindness in your eyes, a light that lets me know that no matter how much we argue or no matter how upset I get with you, you'll always be there for me." She smiled sweetly. "Tyler Redwood, when I look at you, I see possibilities. I see possibilities of a beautiful life. Now it's your turn."
I chuckled happy, delighted by what she'd said. She saw a strong, handsome man. And that's who I wanted to be. That's who I was, at least in my head. I'd become weaker in the last few months, but I was getting better. I had to get better. I needed her to see the strong me. I didn't need her to dwell on the weak me. I knew she'd noticed that I wasn’t as muscular as I was before. I knew she had questions, but she was being patient. She was letting me tell her in my own time. And even though I didn't want to, my heart knew it had to. If we were to go anywhere, she had to know the truth, the full truth.
"Tyler?" She poked me in the arm. "Come on now. You have to tell me. What do you see when you see me?"
"I see a beautiful woman that I want to fuck tonight."
"Tyler." She slapped me hard in the shoulder. "That is not what I mean. I said something really nice about you. And that's what you're going to say to me?"
"Well, I'm just being honest," I chuckled. "Don't you want to fuck me too?"
"Tyler, why are you so crude? You know I don't like it."
"I think that's why I like to say things like that, because I like to shock you. I like to see your reaction." I rubbed her lips gently. "I love kissing you. And I like to turn you on."
"Tyler, tell me. What do you see when you look at me?" Her lips trembled slightly. "Please."
Even though I had lots of feelings for her inside, I'd never voiced them out loud. I wasn't sure I even knew how. Yeah, I could recite poetry, but those weren't my words, just someone else’s words that resonated with me. Saying what was in my heart was a lot harder.
But when I looked into her earnest brown eyes, I could see it was as important to her as it had been to me. So I tried.
"Olivia, when I look at you, I see my past, I see my future, I see my present. When I stare into your big, beautiful brown eyes, I see the warmth of a hundred suns. I see the honesty of a million years. And I see light and happiness. I see my light and happiness shining, reflecting in your eyes. When I look at your lips trembling so sweetly, so seductively, I feel the call of a thousand moons yearning to be with me, yearning to see me, yearning to understand me."
"Tyler, I didn't know you could be so sentimental and sweet," she said hesitantly. "Thank you."
"Oh, I'm not done, Olivia. I'm not done by a long shot. You know ... Can you remember that time back when we went camping down near Miami?"
"You mean the time when we went to the Everglades?"
"Yeah. Do you remember that gator we saw?"
"Boy, do I remember. It was hug
e. I thought it was going to try and jump on the boat and eat us."
"Well, yeah, you know I wouldn't let that happen to you."
"You were always my protector, weren't you, Tyler?"
"I guess I never really thought about that. I guess I never really thought about it like that. But yeah, I guess I've always been your protector."
"You and Derrick, you've always had my back."
"Yep, we've always have and always will."
"But it's different now, isn't it, Tyler?"
"Yes, Olivia, it's different. Can we go back to your place already?" I was done talking. Now I needed to possess her.
"We can go back, but I don't know what we're going to do. Do you want to watch a movie?" she teased as she ran her fingers down my cheek.
"A movie, huh? That sounds good." I kept my voice serious.
She just looked at me in surprise. "I guess if you really want to watch a movie, we can."
A smile started to break through. "I was thinking we could make a movie."
"What do you mean, make a movie?" she asked suspiciously.
"I mean we can go to your bed, and we can make a movie with my phone. An X-rated movie."
"Oh, my gosh. Tyler Redwood, no! I am not going to make an X-rated movie with you, especially not the first time we have sex."
"Ah, so we are going to have sex." I laughed, and she laughed back.
"I'm not promising anything."
"Oh, honey, you don't need to promise. I think I already know the answer to that. So, Olivia, are you ready to go back to your place, then?"
"Who says we have to go back to my place to get started, Tyler?" She winked at me then grabbed my hand and pulled me down the street.
"Where are we going?" This time, I was the one that had no idea what was going on.
"Just follow me." We walked a few more steps then she tugged me into a small alley. "Come on," she whispered.
"No, we're not going to go in here, are we?" Excitement buzzed through my veins. This was absolutely crazy. I had no idea that Olivia would be up for doing something naughty in public.
"Now, Tyler, don't get too excited. I'm not going to fuck you here." She laughed and pushed me back against the wall. "But we can do other stuff."