Emma cursed herself. How could she have forgotten to go back and tell them when the threat was gone? Janice hadn't liked that she would be going out at all to do something so dangerous, and had only agreed to it when she told her Chase would be with her. Merry had acted completely unaffected, but Emma had seen how she'd trembled as she sat with their grandmother.
Even though it was quiet all over, it would probably be a good idea to go to them and give them some reassurance. They might not have been able to sleep with all the anxiety, and while Emma didn’t feel like getting any sleep, they probably would. Maybe they would manage now that the problem was gone. It would be good for them, after the stress of the past couple days to actually rest.
With a new purpose, she hurried to the house and up to where her sister and grandmother were hiding. They were in the largest bedroom in the house, and Emma knocked on the door quietly and waited a beat before slowly opening it.
"Hey, guys, it's me," she called out softly so as not to spook them. "Don’t be scared, all right? Everything's okay now. You can come out."
It felt like she was talking to a child and not two grown women, but after what they had been through, Emma was going to have to think up some way to make it up to them. Not that she needed to, but because she wanted to. She could just imagine the mental distress the two of them had been under when they heard all the shooting and shouting outside, and the loud noise when the car exploded. It would have scared anyone, and Emma was pretty sure it had scared a lot of people that had actually been present for the whole thing.
Emma peeked inside the room with just her head through the door, and saw a head pop out from the side of the bed hidden from the door. She sighed, relieved as she saw Merry stand up, pulling their grandmother up with her with some difficulty. She stepped up to go help, Merry with her thin body would have a hard time with it. They sat Janice on the bed, and picked up the pillows and blankets they'd laid out on the floor.
"Are you two okay?" she asked anxiously.
Why had they been hiding on the other side of the bed, when they could have just lain on it? It wasn’t exactly good for Janice's aging body, but it had probably made them feel safer, so Emma couldn’t even chastise them. She had left them to find whatever comfort they could while she went out to fight.
"We're fine, Emma," her grandmother replied. "It's just... been a long night."
She could tell, though, by the light tremble in her voice that she had been anxious. Emma felt like a heel. The fight hadn't been over for that long, but she should have remembered to come back immediately and check out her family's situation first. Merry looked none the worse for wear, though, remaining standing next to Emma.
"What happened?" she asked, almost frantic. "We heard everything go quiet. Is it all over?"
Emma informed them, "All over, Merry. You don’t have to be afraid anymore—we've forced away the enemies and they won't be coming back."
She couldn’t just come right out and say they'd shot them all down like dogs and their bloody dead bodies were still out on the streets. Come to think of it, there had been the body she'd left in her hiding spot, near the house. She hadn't seen it when she'd gone to look for Chase, so she hoped it had been moved. She'd have to check it out early later just to be sure.
But she couldn’t tell her family the whole truth, and she didn’t even feel guilty about the little fib. It would only upset them—well, their grandmother more than Merry, but still. She didn’t need to give her sister more nightmares to keep her up at night, either. They might know she was lying, but they wouldn’t call he rout on it, and at least on Janice's part, she would pretend that that was what really happened, because that was what people did to stay sane in the face of such intense circumstances. They pretended it away.
They managed to get Janice into bed, although it took some coaxing. She kept jumping at everything that moved, even shadows, and Emma felt another spark of guilt that she hadn't been there. It took some reassuring from the both of them to get Janice to lie down at all. But she was clearly wiped out, because she fell asleep almost immediately.
Then she took Merry to her own room. Her sister was acting a little strange, though. She didn’t look afraid, more dazed, like she was confused about something. Emma didn’t interrupt whatever she was thinking about, it must have been important if it had her this deep in concentration. When Emma finally came to, she almost stumbled, and Emma jumped to catch her before she could fall, only she righted herself before Emma could touch her.
"My predication must have been wrong," Merry murmured, raising a hand and pressing the heel of her palm against her eye. Her voice sounded disbelieving, like the words were unfamiliar on her tongue. "That shouldn’t be happening, though. I've never been wrong. I could have sworn... but I thought we were all going to die, and it didn’t happen."
Emma just listened to her sister mutter to herself, feeling worried but curious what she was talking about. Then, she got the gist of it, and couldn’t help feeling relief brought on by those words, and some hope. Merry admitting that her visions and predictions weren’t super accurate was something new. Emma didn’t think she'd ever given in, even when Emma had proof that she was wrong, she would stick stubbornly to her opinion, because that was just who she was. The ordeal must have really shaken her up, for her to give up this easily.
But maybe... it could be just what they needed. Maybe, she could use this as an excuse to persuade Merry again. She needed to face reality at some point, and she needed to be free of her predictive nightmares. Maybe, now that she had admitted she was wrong once, she would be more open to a second opinion. Emma could only hope so. And besides, in spite of how she was acting, Emma refused to believe she hadn't been affected at all by what happened and all the noise when all she could do was hide and think of the worst. Emma would have been the same if she'd been put in that position.
Merry didn’t say anything more, just standing there with a hand covering one eye, her form trembling a little. The worry was back again in full force as she stepped carefully closer to her sister. Merry jumped slightly, before allowing Emma to lead her to the bed and pushing her to sit down.
"Are you all right?"
Her sister didn’t even seem to have heard her, just staring off into space. Or rather, staring out the window. Her window faced the front of the house, and when Emma looked that way, she realized the light form the fire outside was very much visible. If Merry got close enough, she would see the burning remains of the enemy's car.
"Would you like to take anything before you go to bed?" she offered, keeping her voice soft, hoping to divert Merry's attention from the window. "Besides your medicine I mean."
She saw the rebellious look on her sister's face and sighed. She sat down next to her and rubbed soothing circles on her back. She might not have been feeling particularly tired, but she was not in the mood to deal with her sister in one of her tantrums.
"Look. You're tired, Merry. And I know you don’t like your medicine, but do you want to wake up with another nightmare again tonight?"
A shudder went through her body, probably remembering last night, but then she was shaking her head rapidly. It was the one thing Merry wanted to escape, as far as Emma knew., and it was why they had the pills to begin with.
"But I can't! I already told you, Emma, I don’t like those medicines because of what they do to me! My visions..."
"But you just said you were wrong about the last one. Don’t you think it could have just been a nightmare and nothing more?" she prompted.
Merry didn’t have an immediate come back, and Emma took it to mean that she was wavering.
"Listen, Merry, your visions aren’t real, and you do not come up with predictions of the future. If you go to sleep as you are now, what you will have is another nightmare. Do you want that?"
No. By the way she hesitated, it was easy to deduce that she didn’t. With a little more coaxing, Emma managed to get her to take her tablets, and she settled them bo
th in to sleep.
She went downstairs and glanced outside her window. The curtains were left drawn to let in the little moonlight and what was left of the fire from the car exploding that had yet to go out, and so she could see what was going on in the street. There were still plenty of people moving around, but the noise was kept to the minimum as she watched. She still wanted to go back out there and lend a hand, because she didn’t think she could sleep, even though she had nothing more to do now.
"Do you have anything to drink in the house?"
Chase's voice from behind her had her turning around. She could barely see his features through the little light available, considering he was standing all the way at the door to the kitchen. She couldn’t see or hear anyone else down here, and she could only hope Brian had gone home to be with his wife and kids.
Chase's question confused her, though. "Isn't there plenty in the kitchen?" she asked, pointed the way behind him, directing him to their water supply.
But he was shaking his head. "Not that, I want something strong."
It took her a minute for her to understand his meaning. She didn’t make a habit of keeping alcohol in her house. It would be bad if Merry got a hold of it, because it usually just made her worse than she already was. Besides, their grandmother didn’t approve.
That wasn’t to say that there wasn’t any. For the times that she couldn’t wait to meet Brian, and didn’t feel like dealing with her family or contacting Chase, she had something that would tide her over. She was always busy, though, so she never drank much when she was at home, since the only time she ever drank out was with the knowledge that she could take it easy the next day.
"I have some whiskey somewhere," she admitted, her own personal stash, and she went to fish it out.
She was back in the living room moments later, and they both moved to the seats, Chase having come with a couple of glasses for them.
When Emma poured them both a drink, Chase drained his right away, while she only watched, still holding her own glass half way to her mouth. Emma realized he was shaking. He slammed the glass back down, and she hesitated to add him some more, but he took the bottle before she could think to pull it away.
"Are you okay?" she asked cautiously as he poured another drink.
He downed that before he answered her. "I just need something to settle my nerves after the fight."
She watched as he poured another drink. She wanted to tell him he was taking a little too much, and she wasn’t sure whether or not it was a good thing. She drank her own in slow sips, feeling the soothing burn down her throat. She didn’t need it, but she still sighed as her body relaxed into the seat.
"I can't believe how calm you are after killing ten people."
Emma arched her eyebrows. "We had to do it," she argued back. Because if they hadn't, those people would have taken from her family and several others in the neighborhood. And if any of them had been left alive, Emma would have had the problem of whoever was left spilling that her family had a shed full of food, even if they'd taken quite a significant amount of that food.
"I believe there could have been another way to deal with it," Chase said firmly. "You're barely affected by it."
Emma winced at the comment. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, how could it be? True, she wasn’t freaking out quite like he was, but when she gave herself time to think about it, she might. Although, she looked down at her shirt, remembering she had forgotten she was still covered in blood. The thought didn’t affect her at all.
Then she shook her head. So what? Wasn’t it only better for her mind, that this wasn’t giving her so much of a strain? She didn’t want to be breaking down in her room, so calm was the best thing for her right then, wasn’t it? She believed so, anyway.
"I believe that I did something good to protect my family and my community," she said honestly. And if she could be spared from feelings that would only put her down, why complain?
Chase just stared at her. From where they sat, she couldn’t see him all that well, but he was still and silent, and she could practically feel the weight of his gaze. Then he rose up.
"I barely recognize you," Chase muttered, almost to himself, and stormed further into the house, leaving her alone.
Chapter Seven
Emma returned to her community service at the hospital.
Things were stable enough at home that she felt she could go in. Besides, after the fight that happened, she didn’t want to risk the police looking into her case and realizing she hadn't been doing the work she was supposed to. She'd taken the day after off to rest and reassure her family, but she'd already had too many off days. If the officer that looked into her case asked anyone besides Carol, she would be in trouble.
Her neighborhood was returning to the quiet place it used to be before they were intruded on. If not for the wreckage still not cleared out on the street, it would have been so easy to think what happened had been a dream, because that was what it felt in comparison to all the quiet. Things pretty much went to how they were before, with everyone staying in their own homes and rarely coming out. Aside from seeing a police officer or two the past couple of days, it was almost normal.
Emma wasn’t sure if she appreciated that or not, because she certainly wasn’t feeling normal. With everything gone, the excitement died down, she had cooled somewhat. Something still bothered her, to do with what Chase told her, but every time she tried to put it out of her mind, it would only come back to distract her.
So, part of finally going back into work was a way to escape things she didn’t want to think about. What the hell had Chase meant about not recognizing her? She had gotten a little stronger in her resolve, but Emma hadn't really changed all that much, with all her old habits rearing their heads. She hadn't had a chance to properly talk to him, though, and she feared he was avoiding her.
She had still thought some, about what he'd said. She'd tried to determine what had gone differently from her with the people that had been in the fight with her. She talked to four of them before she realized. Everyone was under some form of shock, and had been more than ready to go home and put the whole ordeal behind them. But Emma, she had wanted to stay longer, to offer help where she could.
The biggest difference, though, was that unlike everyone else, who went back home exhausted and weary, Emma had been perfectly fine. There had been no release of stress after it was all over, like it hadn't bothered her. There was no exhaustion induced by broken tension from the lead up and up to the end of the fight. It could have just been cause by the adrenaline, but she hadn't felt all that excited. She didn’t feel like going to sleep, though she had eventually because there wasn’t anything to do and she didn’t want to sit in the dark by herself. It was like... none of it bothered her at all.
That wasn’t entirely correct, though. Yes, she might have been a little calmer than most people would be in that situation, but it wasn’t like it didn’t bother her at all. She'd simply made up her mind what she wanted the outcome of the battle to be before it started. She would have rather not go through it all to begin with, but she hadn't been the one that started it, she just wanted to be the one to end it. She got her wish, so of course, she was a little happy that she didn’t have to worry about another attack on her home.
But besides Chase, there was her family to think of.
Janice... it was hard to tell when she was doing well. Emma had her pride, and her grandmother had hers, too. She had insisted on not being coddled, every time she was asked how she was feeling she would reply that she was all right. The thing was, she was very good at her acting. Emma and the rest of them, they might have fallen for it. But Emma had seen the tightening at the edge of her eyes, when she was asked, and how quickly she was to change the subject.
She didn’t know if the other two had realized, but Janice was still very much scarred form the incident. Well, it was to be expected. it still bothered Chase, Emma could tell, and it would take time to heal this kind of
problem. Emma could do nothing more than be there for her grandmother when she needed her for something.
Merry was doing okay, as far as Emma had seen. It was a big surprise to her, actually. Merry was undoubtedly the most mentally unstable of them all, yet she had been utterly calm the past few days, and the few times Emma talked to her, she almost didn’t recognize her sister, because she was acting so normally. It might not last long, but Emma would enjoy it while it lasted.
Platy of times, though, Emma would find her dazed and spacing out. She pretty much had to guess what Merry was thinking about, since she didn’t want to destroy her progress for asking her. Emma was almost sure she was right, though. That Merry's foundation for the past decade had been shaken and she was trying to sort herself out.
Emma could only hope her sister's self-reflection ended well. Hopefully, a new way of thinking and her prescription for her nightmares might turn her mind around so she could face reality. There was still her reaction to the medication, but Emma didn’t think it was too severe to warrant much mention. She had stopped complaining about the effect, anyway, and Emma was a lot more cautious about making sure she ate now. It was the only reason she was staying home anyway, so there was no reason to be sitting idle anymore.
The real reason, though, was because she just had to keep moving, and it wasn’t as satisfying doing it at home. There was plenty of work to be had besides looking after her family. Besides, when she woke up, Janice was feeling well, and she was anxious enough that Emma thought looking after Merry would give her some peace of mind.
At the hospital, she treated the injured from the previous night. She didn’t know them personally, but she was pretty sure Kellen had been the one to talk them into helping out. She thanked each of them personally for their help, though they just waved it off.
They weren’t all that badly injured, she realized, grateful. She would have felt quite a bit of guilt if she'd found out someone had gotten so badly hurt, when it had been her idea to fight back at all. They were very lucky that the casualties on their side had been so minimal.
Powerless | Book 3 | New Order Page 6