Another possibility popped up, she'd had so many she had lost count, but this one was a little possible. What it Merry had simply forgotten her way back, once she was late in returning and everything started to go dark. But if that truly was the case, then her job to search for Merry and drag her home had grown infinitely hard.
"Emma, calm down."
Chase was just suddenly there, pulling her hand away from her forehead before she tried to hit herself again.
"But...!"
"I'm sure she's fine," he said comfortingly, taking her by the shoulders and giving her a light shake. "But if it makes you feel better, we can go look for her."
Emma sneered. "There's a curfew, remember? It's way past that and she isn’t back yet..."
"It's better to break it than have Merry out causing trouble," he countered easily, rubbing up and down her arms.
It would get them into trouble, if they were caught. Emma was pretty sure the police were being especially cautious after those women invaded her neighborhood at night. They were expecting more of the same attacks, after some calm while everyone got over the shock of what happened. If it were mostly volunteers out, they might be fine, but if they ran into a cop...
Her past transgression wasn’t forgiven just because she'd done something that benefitted a lot of people.
Still, there was no way she was just going to leave her sister to wander outside alone. She nodded up at Chase. They'd just have to be careful.
Emma and Chase took flashlights out. She'd been saving them for a while, because she didn’t have that many batteries just lying around. Emma made sure Janice was sleeping comfortably in her room, and then they locked up the house and went looking for her.
They searched for an hour. Only one of them had the flashlight on at a time. The light it gave off was low, but that was good for them. Once they got off their open street, they could hide a little behind buildings, scouting routes before they took them. They searched, and they didn’t find anything.
There was no way to tell where Merry could have gone. Emma thought it was a tad naïve to think she'd just be waiting for them out somewhere. At some point, they decided to split up to cover more grounds. Chase was reluctant, of course, but Emma's anxiety only grew the longer it took for them to find any sign of her sister.
Where could she possibly have gone? Merry didn’t have friends nearby. The people Emma knew she'd even called friends she hadn't spoken to in over a decade, since their parent's death and isolating herself at home. Could she have gone to one of her followers homes? Emma didn’t think so, or at least hoped so.
They met up in the town square to report their findings. She was heartbroken when Chase told her he hadn't found anything either.
"How could she just disappear like that..." she murmured, her shoulders slumped in disappointment.
Just where could she have gone? Emma tried to think, working her mind hard to come up with the answer. It was her fault, she never should have let her sister out of the house no matter what, not this soon and not alone. If they were still going by the deal, she'd bring it up next time Merry wanted to go out. That was if she didn’t wipe the agreement altogether. Besides, the way Merry had bid her farewell, leaving the house was probably part to do with being away from them. They were all Merry had known in so long, and with her recent fights with Merry, she could definitely see something like this motivating her.
But then she perked up, and idea occurring to her.
"I have one more place I have to check," she said suddenly, urgently, not caring if it surprised him. "You can go home and look after the house and Janice. I promise if she isn’t there I'll be on my way back soon."
She pushed the house key into his hand, ignoring all his protests. This was her last chance, and she just had to be right.
Emma headed straight for the church. It was the only there place she could think of that her sister could have gone to. Why hadn't she thought of it before? It was the one thing Merry had been mentioning so much of lately...
She found Merry inside, sat in one of the pews. The church was kept lit with gas lamps and candles often, Emma wondered where they got all the resources and why they weren’t worried about them dying out. But it wasn’t her place to question. She could see the light before she got inside, and though it was still somewhat dim inside, it would be hard to mistake her sister's haystack hair for anyone else.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Emma felt her knees shake as they threatened to give out on her. But she soldiered on, walking to be beside the pew where her sister sat. She didn’t turn to look at her, but she must have known Emma was there.
"Can I join you?" she asked simply, without any of the anger she should have felt for Merry making them all worry about her by disappearing like that.
"Anyone is welcome in the house of God," was Merry's answer.
Emma took it as an okay and sat beside her, resting her tired body. So much left her worried these days, it was taking its toll on her body. But she would take whatever chance she had to relax, because she didn’t plan on stopping. They'd just take a bit longer to get home. Hopefully, Chase would forgive her for taking too long.
She breathed in deeply, and then exhaled in a gust. When was the last time Emma had been in a church? She didn’t even remember. Her parents had gone almost every week, and it had fallen into a routine for Emma. She still went, after they died, but usually irregularly and only when she had the time. Sometimes she didn’t make it for an entire month.
Now, though, she felt something like peace warm her chest. This place had so many good memories for her that she was tempted to let herself get lost in. But she still remembered where they were and why, and the situation that was probably waiting for them once they got outside.
She had sent Chase home so she and Merry would make their way home together. Emma didn’t know how long they could wait before they had to leave. She didn’t know what would happen is someone patrolling outside actually got to the church and looked inside. They might not look inside at all, but that would still mean that they would have to make their way home while avoiding getting caught outside late at night.
Merry sat calmly beside her as Emma's thoughts lost their temporary calm and started running dizzying circles in her head again. She almost glared at her sister, at least until Emma saw that her face was calm, almost serene. It wasn’t a look she ever remembered seeing on her sister's face.
She sighed. "Merry, how long have you been here?" No answer. "You took way too long and it's late now, almost midnight. You should have come back ages ago. If we risk going back this late at night out in the streets, we could get into trouble."
Merry still didn’t respond. She didn’t even look like she'd heard everything they said. Instead, she looked at Emma like she was crazy. "I had to be here, Emma, for as long as it took. Why shouldn’t I be here?"
Emma held back a sound of frustration. "Fine, maybe. But you could have at least told me your plans, Merry. I would have let you come back tomorrow early and stay for as long as you want."
Again, Merry wasn’t responding to what she was saying. Giving up at the moment on getting her sister to do anything, Emma sat and faced forward. They sat silently for long moments, and Emma could feel the natural peace in the room making her relax again, though just a little. Maybe it was because the place was so empty, but she was close enough to her sister that she could sense her presence right there. The room was so dimly lit, yet somehow it only added to the atmosphere. She took in another deep breath before releasing it, thinking for a moment that the air tasted different, almost more pure just because of where they were.
It was a stupid thought, of course. Part of her mind was still living in the past in that moment, remembering that usually, their mom would sit beside her and their dad would sit on the other side of Merry. It didn’t hurt to think of them, in here, like it usually did so she pushed the thoughts away. But before she could give in to her recollection, Merry spoke up again.
"I never used to be interested in going to church," Merry said, "even as a young religious woman. Now, I realize what I've been missing."
Emma would have scoffed, except Merry looked serious. It might have been nothing but idiocy, but she completely believed in what she was saying. Emma didn’t have anything like her, and she had the passing fancy to ask what it was like. But then the moment passed, and the thought died away.
"I can feel the presence of God more than ever in the church," Merry claimed, "And that connects me to our parents." Emma felt her eyes widened when her sister smiled, a normal smile for once, almost gentle, something she hadn't seen in a long time. "I won't mind if the world ends and we all die—we'll be with our parents again."
Emma felt her eyes sting with tears. Even now, Merry was still talking about them. Emma had forced herself to leave everything behind, but Merry was the way she was because she couldn’t do that as easily. It was why Emma found herself envying her sister, in spite of what she'd thought Emma had that she didn’t. It hurt her, but she didn’t stop thinking about them, whereas Emma only did when she was bracing for the pain of it. Not to mention, she had a longer memory of their last moments together than Emma did with everything she'd blocked away.
It was her one fault, being so weak she couldn’t even think of her dead parents because it hurt too much, even though circumstances had forced her to think about it too much lately.
Emma pulled Merry in for a hug and they sat in the church together for a long time.
Chapter Eleven
Brian caught Emma on her way to community service the next day.
She hadn't had much sleep, so she was running a little late. She and her sister managed to get home quite late but without any problems, and Emma had fallen promptly asleep. She woke up feeling the most peaceful she had in a long time before she noticed the sun was too high up in the sky for it to still be early morning, and she had preceded to rush.
The only good thing about the electricity going off was that since there was no definite way to tell time anymore, since most people had grown to rely on digital watches, no one could get on her case about being late. The obsession with time and being late had always been annoying, and now she didn’t have to deal with them being so strict anymore. But she could still feel guilty about it after all the time off she took.
He caught her by surprise. She didn’t see him as often, now that he was out of her house, so the few times she did were a bit of a surprise, but she wasn’t expecting him to ambush her as she left her house.
She eyed him in surprise and curiosity, waiting a little impatiently for whatever made him seek her out this time. She couldn’t quite say they were friends, but she couldn’t say she still disliked him, either.
"What is it Brian?"
"I'll be moving back with Kellen today so I can be closer to the kids."
She was a little surprised. Emma had thought he was already back with his wife, so the news was a bit strange. She couldn’t have missed him sleeping on their couch the past few nights, and she'd only seen him once before since the fight.
"That's great news," she said anyway, genuinely glad for him, and his family. "How are you with Kellen?"
"We're on unsteady grounds, but we're willing to live together, even if not as a couple."
Her eyebrows arched up in more surprise. But despite what he said, he looked happier than Emma had seen in longer than she could remember. It wasn’t the fake kind that he usually projected to people, it seemed genuine for once and Emma was glad he considered them close enough to let her see it.
"I'm happy for you, Brian," she told him honestly. But she was running late, she didn’t have much time to keep wasting. So she waved at him as he took off, turning over her shoulder to say, "I'll see you around," and she was off.
Emma went to work to find another surprise waiting for her. She stopped just outside, gaping in her shock, before slowly walking inside, having to watch her step and be careful maneuvering around like she hadn't needed to in a while.
The hospital was full once again.
How... she'd been there just yesterday and of the few people she'd met when doing community service, most had left and only a handful had come in. but this... this was so much more than that. This looked a lot like the after math of the crash. When everything shut down, including a plane in the sky that had been flying over traffic when it suddenly came down killing a lot of people, injuring plenty more. It was only a little better than that, but not by much.
This... was a serious problem.
Someone shouted something about needing help, and it startled her enough that she came back to herself. Her mind was more alert, and she moved with a purpose, looking around as she moved for someone to tell her what the hell was going on. She only knew the one person well, so of course she was looking for Carol.
Unfortunately, Carol wasn’t easy to find. Because the place was now full, a lot of people needed attention, which meant they were understaffed again. She knew she had to be out here helping as well, but getting information on the situation felt more important. Something, a bad feeling in her chest, told her she absolutely had to know what was going on, and she wasn’t so insensitive that she would just ask one of the injured.
Finally, she saw Carol and rushed over. It took some skill, with all the people getting in the way and Carol moving quickly herself, but she made it. Carol spared her a glance, before looking over at a new patient.
"Hey, what happened here? Where did all these people come from?"
Her chest constricted as her thoughts ran wild. She actually had to hold herself back form just bombarding her with questions. She picked the two most important and relevant to her, because Emma did not want to distract her while she was still doing her job.
She didn’t get an answer right away. Carol finished with what she was doing first, and then stepped back from her patient, looking at Emma impatiently, but at least she answered.
"To be honest, I'm still waiting for details myself, I only know some parts of what happened. A large group came into town and annihilated a whole street of people. A few that survived came straight here, and that's where we are." She glanced around. "Now, be useful and find someone to help. There's plenty all around."
Emma nodded sharply, but she didn’t know if Carol even saw it. Not that it mattered, because she was also on the move as well. She looked around. The first time she volunteered to work at the hospital, she hadn't been of much help. She didn’t have that many skills to begin with, and it dint matter anyway because at the end of the day she practically ran home with no intention of ever returning.
But in the time since, she'd learned quite a bit. She was nowhere near the woman she had been back then, and though the noise, the smell, all the blood still bothered her, it wasn’t enough to break her. She looked around for who was worse off and didn’t look like they'd been seen to yet, and that was where she headed.
Emma went to work, wondering how they were going to cope if people kept attacking them.
The last time had been bad enough. A large group, all women and all armed. But they'd come at night and tried to steal food secretly. Emma might never have known they were even there until the morning after, when the family woke up to notice their doors broken, and the always locked shed missing its door. if Merry hadn't screamed that night and woken her up, Emma didn’t know what could have happened.
But they faced the problem, everyone together, and they rose above it. But then more people were coming and attacking, and whoever these new guys were, they weren’t being nice about it. Emma would imagine people put up a fight, but to just attack and entire street and kill people...
Dammit!
Emma had thought they could relax after the last battle, and now they would face a new one a lot sooner than she really liked.
What the hell were they going to do? The police must have been notified, but this wouldn’t go like the other time. They had all been left relatively unharmed, and they
'd come up with a plan just in time. But back then, Emma had been sure they would be returning to her neighborhood to take what was left of her supply of food. Not so with this new target. They could pop up anywhere, whenever they felt like it, and Emma honestly found that more frightening than that they were armed and didn’t find anything wrong with using whatever they could.
She worked tirelessly, barely noticing the time pass. When she was done with one patient, she had to run off to look for another. She wasn’t sure how long they had been there, but the more critical ones were done pretty soon, then it was just seeing to the rest of the injured. They'd need an influx of volunteers just to keep up, though. As it was, Emma was forced to take a break when she went to walk and felt her legs stumble.
"Whoa!"
Carol, who had been near her, caught her, though she would have been fine on her own. She looked up at Carol's face, wanting to tell her that she was okay, that she could go on, but the hard look on the older woman's face made her stop. She let herself get dragged away, out of the hospital but not going far, just a few feet from the entrance.
"I know you're working hard, but don’t get yourself sick, too. We have enough to deal with as it is."
Emma nodded meekly at the older woman's scolding. "What time is it?"
"Afternoon, not sure how late but your shift will be over soon. You missed lunch."
"So did you," Emma pointed out. She didn’t have to check to be sure. Carol would never leave her post when she felt there were people that needed her, and they currently had plenty.
Carol made an impatient sound. "That isn’t important right now. Look, I'm going to tell you because I can tell by your surprise this morning that you have no idea."
Her fatigue partially disappeared as her back straightened. Emma clenched her jaw, preparing for more bad news, since it couldn’t possibly be anything else.
Whatever moment of peace they'd had was nothing but a lie. Emma would somehow have to go home and tell her family all of this even as her heart broke over it and she built a wall around that pain, and turned it into determination.
Powerless | Book 3 | New Order Page 9