If I Tell You the Truth

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by Jasmin Kaur


  the letter

  Although Kiran’s application for permanent residence in Canada is accepted quite quickly in the story, in real life, the wait time for application processing is often much longer. Prior to COVID-19, it would have been likely that Kiran would wait for between twenty to twenty-four months to find out whether or not permanent residence would be granted in her case. After COVID-19, the wait would have been even longer. While Kiran received her permanent residence approval much quicker than we would see in the real world, the barriers she faced in finding help were painfully true to life. Kiran’s history of trauma, particularly at the hands of police officers and authority figures, had a pivotal impact on her ability to seek professional and ethical counsel. Kiran, a young woman of color, was violated by men who used their positions of power, trust, and influence to get away with their brutality. Kiran’s struggle to find trustworthy support is a reminder of how justice is often out of reach for marginalized peoples.

  on the napkin

  When Kiran mentions the name “Nirbhaya” in this poem, she is referring to the brutal 2012 gang rape of Jyoti Singh (known publicly as Nirbhaya, meaning fearless) in New Delhi. The Nirbhaya case triggered a wave of #MeToo protest and activism across South Asia, centering around demands for justice, accountability, and respect for women.

  i am forever grateful for

  deepak ahluwalia

  damanpreet singh

  daniela carolina

  ishpreet kaur

  pardeep kaur

  rajan dhaliwal

  gurpreet bains

  sukhpreet singh

  gurjit singh

  gayatri sethi

  prabhdeep singh kehal

  harnidh kaur

  parneet malhi

  rick gill

  tajinder kaur

  ishaval gill

  ishleen chahal

  sahibajot kaur

  vickramjit singh

  nikki shahi

  sarah homer

  tara weikum

  katherine latshaw

  without whom

  this work wouldn’t have been possible

  About the Author

  Photo by Tajinder Kaur

  JASMIN KAUR is a writer, illustrator, and spoken-word artist living in Vancouver, British Columbia. Her writing, which explores feminism, social justice, survival, and love, acts as a means of healing and reclaiming identity. As a poet and teacher, she has toured across North America, the UK, and Australia to captivate audiences through her poetic storytelling. When You Ask Me Where I’m Going was her debut novel.

  Visit her online at www.jasminkaur.com.

  Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.

  Praise

  PRAISE FOR IF I TELL YOU THE TRUTH

  “Bold and evocative, Jasmin Kaur’s sophomore novel proves she is an unflinching writer. Tackling several tough topics, If I Tell You the Truth is a book that invites much-needed conversation.”

  —JASMINE WARGA, New York Times bestselling and Newbery Honor-winning author of Other Words for Home

  “Timely and rare, this bold, pull-no-punches book deftly tackles immigration, rape culture and what it means to be undocumented in today’s society. You’ll smile, you’ll cry, you’ll want to burn down the patriarchy.”

  —SONA CHARAIPOTRA, author of Symptoms of a Heartbreak and co-author of Tiny Pretty Things

  “Weaving prose, poetry, and art, Jasmin Kaur’s original voice gives us a searing insight into the lives of a mother and daughter and the secrets we keep and how they shape our lives.”

  —AISHA SAEED, New York Times bestselling co-author of Yes No Maybe So

  “Deftly layered with prose and poetry, Kaur tells a story of culture, courage, and heart. I was moved beyond words.”

  —NISHA SHARMA, award winning author of My So-Called Bollywood Life

  “A fast-paced story that will keep readers engaged and a thoughtful, loving examination of immigration, sexual assault, and chosen family.”

  —KIRKUS REVIEWS

  PRAISE FOR WHEN YOU ASK ME WHERE I’M GOING

  “Gut-wrenching and awe-inspiring, all in the same breath. Jasmin Kaur writes the type of poetry that you never want to stop reading. The type of poetry that makes you want to cry, laugh, stop and think, scream, and then use your own voice to tell your stories and speak your truth without apology. This book will change you.”

  —LAYLA F. SAAD, author of Me and White Supremacy

  “Kaur weaves a captivating narrative that reminds us of what it means to be raw, to be powerful, to be beautifully unique—beautifully human. So many people need this book. I’m one of them.”

  —KRISTIN CAST, #1 New York Times and #1 USA Today bestselling author

  “Jasmin Kaur’s work is divine and essential. Through When You Ask Me Where I’m Going she sees you and then hands you the mirror to see yourself. There is a sweet, fierce and true vulnerability in every piece. Cling to this book, it is honest and it will bring you home to yourself.”

  —UPILE CHISALA, author of Soft Magic, Nectar, and A Fire Like You

  “Jasmin Kaur epitomizes a powerful, assertive, and unapologetic voice in her debut. She welcomes us to lean in and listen to the intimacies of her story—to revel in both the beautiful and painful notes of existence. You will find yourself in awe of the way she so courageously writes about what many cannot find the words to say.”

  —MADISEN KUHN, author of Eighteen Years, Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better and Almost Home

  “An emotional journey that will enlighten, inspire and empower readers everywhere.”

  —AMANDA LOVELACE, bestselling author of the princess saves herself in this one

  “A searing and gorgeous debut. This book made me feel seen, but it also educated me--it’s sure to provoke many necessary and meaningful conversations.”

  —JASMINE WARGA, New York Times bestselling and Newbery Honor-winning author of Other Words for Home

  Books by Jasmin Kaur

  When You Ask Me Where I’m Going

  If I Tell You the Truth

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  Copyright

  IF I TELL YOU THE TRUTH. Copyright © 2021 by Jasmin Kaur. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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  Cover art © 2021 by Ceres Lau | Cover design by Corina Lupp

  * * *

  Digital Edition JANUARY 2021 ISBN: 978-0-06-291266-4

  Print ISBN: 978-0-06-291264-0

  * * *

  20 21 22 23 24 PC/LSCH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  FIRST EDITION

  About the Publisher

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