“No,” Brian says, his voice coming out gruffly, “it was just us two.”
Cori stops walking and then looks at the two of us. “She went the whole day walking around the city and nothing happened?” Her face shocked.
“The whole day,” I tell her, “and we went to see where the Gallaghers live.” I look at her now. “Can you get in touch with someone and see if I can tour the lot once I’m home and see if maybe I can go in the house they have here.”
Cori just starts to laugh. “I’ll get right on that.” I watch her hand a card to Brian and then slide one in front of the black circle thing. We walk into the new room that almost looks like the last one except there is a bathroom as soon as you walk in. “The only thing is that there is one bathtub.”
“It’s fine,” he huffs out and then grabs his bag. “Are you guys staying in this room?”
“Yes,” I tell him, “why?”
“I want to go get a run in, and if you are going to stay in, I’ll go to the hotel gym,” he says, grabbing his bag and going to the bathroom.
“What is going on that I don’t know?” Cori asks quietly. “You are you and then him.” She points at the bathroom. “He’s like one second from exploding”—she looks at the bathroom door, then at me again—“and not in a good way.”
“I have no idea what to tell you.” I shrug and then take off my jacket. The bathroom door opens, and he comes out wearing shorts and a white T-shirt.
“I’ll be back in an hour tops. If there is anything, I want you guys to call me. You are not, under any circumstances, allowed to leave this room. No answering the door for any deliveries either.” He tosses his bag on the bed and then walks to the door. “Did you guys get that?”
“We will be fine,” Cori answers for us, and I just walk into my bedroom, listening to the door slam. “Okay, what is going on?”
“Nothing.” I peel off my shirt, walking to the bathroom and starting the bath. “We went out and walked around all day.” I walk out and kick off my shoes. Looking over at Cori, I watch as she gets on the bed, sitting on the side with one foot on, one foot off.
“I need a little bit more than that.” She watches me like a hawk. I know this, and I suddenly feel as if I’m on stage and I have to be someone else, or she will know. I avoid her eyes while I unbutton my pants.
“Cori, there isn’t anything more to say. I woke up, and he wanted to show me around Chicago, and well, that is what he did.” I fold my pants and put them on the end of the bed. “Do you know if they have a robe?” I ask, walking to the closet and opening it, finding a plush terry cloth robe hanging on a silk hanger. “We went to the bean, and then we visited a couple of landmarks and then came back.”
“That sounds amazing. Now look at me,” she orders, and I look up. “What happened?”
I roll my eyes. “Nothing.”
“You can fool just about anyone but me,” she points out, getting up and coming to me. “Now, it’s easier if you just let it out and tell me, or I will sit on the side of the bathtub and harass you until you do.” I fold my arms, knowing she won’t let up.
“I had a shot of moonshine, and it was such an amazing day, and I was maybe feeling buzzed, but he was so close to me.” I look at her and then look down, getting the courage to say the rest. “And then I asked him to kiss me.” She gasps, putting her hand to her mouth. “Yeah, well, you can stop the celebration. He said he can’t.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, confused.
I throw up my hands in the air. “Fuck if I know, but I am done throwing myself at him. I am done doing this hot and cold shit. I am going to get in the tub, then when I come out, I’m ordering the biggest plate of french fries, and I’m going to finish watching season one of Shameless.”
She nods. “That sounds like the best night ever. You forgot about maybe a cheeseburger.” I point at her, nodding. “Go take your bath, and I’m going to set up things for our slumber party.”
I turn and walk back into the bathroom, trying not to feel sorry for myself. I know he said that after the ninety days we would talk, but I was hoping he would give a little. I was hoping he would want to kiss me, that he would want it just as much as I do.
I put some bubble bath in the water and drop my robe. Dimming the lights, I step in the hot water and hold my legs to my chest. My long hair falls to the front, and I play the day over again in my mind. I didn’t tell Cori about the way he held my hand because that’s mine to have. The way he smiled at me, the way he looked at me, and then the end when he whispered the two words to me. As I feel the hurt, the rejection, a single tear escapes, rolling down my cheek and falling into the water. I let myself have this moment, and then I make myself finally let go of my girl crush. It won’t be easy, but the walls will have to come up. I lean back now and sink into the water up to my chin and close my eyes. I stay in the bath until the hot water turns cold, and my fingers shrivel up. I get out and towel off, then put the robe on, and when I walk back out, Cori is lying on my bed. The door to my room is open and where the couch should be is a queen-size bed.
“I just ordered room service,” she says, and I nod. Going to the little kitchen they have in the room, I grab a water bottle, and then I hear the front door slam. I look toward the doorway and see Brian storming in.
“Hey,” he mumbles under his breath and doesn’t even look at me. “I need a shower,” he says, turning around and stomping into his bathroom. I look at Cori, who raises her eyebrows at me, and then I walk into the bedroom and climb into bed with her. I try to focus on the movie she is watching, but I can’t. Especially when he comes back out from the shower wearing shorts and nothing else.
“Holy mother of all things holy,” Cori mumbles from beside me. “I bet he has a small, crooked penis.”
I shake my head. “I don’t care.” I try not to think about his penis, and then the knock on the door has Cori getting up and Brian looking into the bedroom. I lock eyes with him, but he looks away. Cori comes back in with the huge tray. “I’m eating in bed,” I tell her, and she carries it into the bedroom. “Can you close the door please?” I ask softly, and she gets up and walks over to the door, closing it with the sound of the click. I sit in bed, eating little bites, and then slide under the covers, waking the next day. Cori isn’t there when I get up, and I reach for my phone and then text her. I stay in my room with the door closed until it’s time for us to head out. I keep my head down when I walk out of the bedroom, but I feel him right away. From the side, I see him getting up and walking to me. “How long is the bus ride tonight?”
“Four hours,” she says softly. “I am going to cancel dinner with my folks so I can come on the bus with you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t. It’s fine.” She doesn’t argue with me. We make it to the venue, and the ride over is quiet as fuck. You could cut the tension in the car with a knife. “Can you get me a trainer? I’d love to go work out after.”
“On it,” Cori says and walks away from me when I take the step to the stage. I run through the playlist, saving my energy for the show. Stepping from the stage to the gym, I have no time to pay attention to him, but I know he’s there. The trainer pushes me a bit harder than I’m used to, but I like it. I wash off my face in the big bathroom, then go into one of the stalls.
“Did you see how hot that security detail is?” I hear a female voice and then the water turn on.
“Did I fucking ever.” The other voice I can tell is Stacey. I roll my eyes. “His name is Brian.”
I hear the other girl snicker laughing, and I try to pinpoint the voice, but I can’t. “Why am I not surprised that you know this already?” The water turns off, and then I hear the sound of the hand towel being distributed.
Stacey then laughs out. “Well, then I guess it will come as no surprise to you that I fucked him last night in the gym at the hotel.” My heart stops, my breathing comes in with pain. “Best workout I had, and the man is seriously packing.” I think I’m going to be s
ick. I put my hand to my mouth and try to keep it in.
“Oh my God,” the female voice says. “Again, not surprised.” I wait until they walk out of the bathroom. I stand on shaky legs, the toilet flushing as soon as I stand. My hands shake as I reach out and turn the silver knob. When I walk out and look in the mirror, my face is pale as though I’ve seen a ghost. I place my hands on the counter, looking at the sink with little drops of water still in there. I focus on my breathing, and I focus on trying to breathe without the pain in my chest. My body takes over, and I walk out, going through the motions. I walk into my dressing room and see him sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand.
“Can you get out?” I ask him quietly, his head flying up, and he sees me. “I need to focus, and I want everyone out.”
“You look like you are going to faint. Did you eat?” he asks, getting up, and I step back away from him. “I’ll get you a plate of food.”
“I don’t want you to get me anything. If I need something, I can get it myself,” I tell him, my voice soft as I try not to raise it for fear it’s going to crack. I look at him, this man who yesterday couldn’t kiss me but had no problem fucking someone in the hotel gym. “Now please close the door on your way out.”
He doesn’t say anything to me. He just walks out and closes the door. I don’t sit on the couch. I walk to the white makeup chair and sit there. Looking in the mirror, I focus on my face, focus on my eyes that are usually crystal blue but now are clouded over. I push down the lingering hurt. I push everything away, and I get on that stage to become Hollywood’s princess.
Chapter Eighteen
Brian
She hasn’t looked me in the eye since the pub, and it’s killing me. The second she looked up at me and asked me to kiss her, my heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe, the beauty of her surrounded me and captured all of me.
I’m facing her dressing room after she kicked me out. I’m leaning against the white cement block wall. One foot leaned up on it, I’m scrolling Facebook and Instagram, but the only thing I can picture is her face when she walked in after her workout. She looked pale, so pale, and her lips were white. She didn’t make eye contact with me, and when she did, she was guarded, and her shield was up.
I hear footsteps and look up to see Stacey, and I groan inside. I do not have time for this bullshit right now. “Hey, you,” she says, stopping in front of me. She leans in, touching my chest with one hand, and I swear to God if a cock could hide and cover, mine just did that. “I was wondering when I would see you again.” I can imagine she was wondering this since she came on to me in the gym yesterday. If a woman says she wants to suck your cock like a Hoover vacuum, it’s never good, especially since the woman isn’t the woman haunting your dreams.
I nod at her and try to step out of her touch, but seeing as I’m against a brick wall, it’s almost impossible. “Here I am.” After she told me that in the gym, I pushed the speed up on the treadmill and ran until I thought my legs would give out, and then I walked into the room, and this guilt suddenly hit me.
“I was thinking maybe we could have a drink together tonight after the show.” She comes more into my space.
“I’m on the bus as soon as the show is over.” My foot now comes off the wall, and I stand straight and move to the side and then stand in the middle of the hallway.
“Oh, you guys aren’t staying with the rest of us?” she asks with disappointment.
“Sorry,” I tell her, and then I’m not sure if it’s because I’m all over the place with Kellie, but I blurt out, “Listen, just for the record, I don’t date when I’m working or on the job, so …”
A sly smile starts on her face. “Is that so, Brian?” She cocks her hip. “Well, then, I guess this gives us something to look forward to.”
She doesn’t even wait for me to answer before she walks away with a swing in her hips, and I roll my eyes. I don’t have time to think about it because I see Cori walking down the hall, and I walk to her.
“When was the last time Kellie ate?” I know I need to relax my tone, but I can’t.
“Um, I think she ate lunch. Why?” she asks, walking to the door and seeing it closed. “Why is the door closed, and why are you outside of it?”
“She told me to get out, something about getting in the zone, but she was pale as a ghost,” I tell her, running my hand through my hair.
She looks at the door, her hand on the handle, and then she turns to look at me. “I don’t know how one person can fuck up as much as you, but you better fix this.” She doesn’t say anything else. She just walks in the room and slams the door in my face, and no one comes out until it’s time for her to go onstage. She walks out and still doesn’t look at me, and she has the makeup person on one side and then Cori on the other and she just looks at me with daggers in her eyes. Kellie grabs the mic, and she walks into the little box.
I stand here watching right next to Cori. “I honestly don’t know what to say, but I will give you this.” She starts talking, and I look at her, but she just looks ahead. “The two of you will be the only ones on that bus tonight. She doesn’t know, or she wouldn’t get on it.” I put my hands in my pockets. “I’ve seen her through lots of things that you have no idea about. Everyone thinks about how amazing it is being on top of the world, but they don’t see the sacrifices she makes. The fact she has never had a relationship that was just hers. The fact everyone around her wants something from her. But yesterday, she walked around a city being just her, and you gave her that.” I swallow the lump in my throat that’s getting thicker. “So for that, I’m giving you this. You are going to lose her.”
“I don’t have her,” I say quietly, and she just laughs.
“Oh, you silly, silly boy.” She turns now to look at me. “This is your last shot. You fuck this up, and I’ll do what I need to do, and that’s getting you replaced. I don’t care if I have to bring in an army of security details, but you will be gone.” She doesn’t give me a chance to say anything before she just walks away and leaves me replaying her words over and over in my head. For over two hours, I listen to her sing to the crowd. I watch the screen in the back and see what she wants the world to see. She flirts with the crowd, she gets them singing, and she smiles. Never once missing a beat. People in the back start gearing up for take down when her encore song comes on, and she finally takes her last bow, then turns and runs off the stage. Cori is there waiting for her, handing her a water bottle that she finishes in record time. Her chest heaves as we usher her out of the venue, and she gets on the bus. She walks to the back of the bus, and the door closes. I sit on the couch, and the door opens and then I hear it close. “Okay, she’s in the shower. She has no idea I’m not going to be here, so if you need me, you send up the bat signal, and I’ll do my best to make it to you.” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. She just walks off the bus, and then the bus takes off.
I sit here, my hands all clammy as I wonder what the fuck is going to happen. “Cori!” I hear yelled out, and I wonder if I should go back there. Finally, after the third time, I get up and walk to the back and knock on the door. “Come in.”
I stick my head in and see her standing there, her long hair wet from the shower she just took. She’s wearing sweats and a huge sweater that falls off her shoulder. “Hey.”
She looks at me, her eyes big. “I called Cori.” She looks down. “Can you ask her to come in here?”
“I would,” I say, walking into the room, “but she isn’t here.”
She drops the towel she has in her hand. “What do you mean she isn’t here?”
“I mean, no one is here except me and you,” I tell her, putting my hands in my back pockets.
“That is unacceptable,” she huffs out and then tries to walk past me, but I stop her. “Move.”
“This is enough,” I hiss out, my temper taking just about as much as I can handle right now. “Jesus, Kellie. Can we just talk about this for a second?”
“Talk about what?” she
asks. Standing in front of me, she crosses her arms over her chest. “There is nothing to talk about.” She looks away.
I shake my head, thinking about Cori’s words. One shot. “Like fuck there isn’t,” I say louder than I want to. Her eyes fly up to mine, and I watch as anger fills her eyes.
“You really want to fucking talk about this?” Her voice roars. “What do you want to talk about exactly?” Her voice softens and then gets louder with the next question. “Let’s talk about the fact I asked you to kiss me, and you said, and I quote”—she brings up her hands to do the quotation marks—“‘I can’t.’”
“Yeah, you’re fucking right, I can’t!” I shout back.
“I get it, okay?” she says, throwing her hands up. “I get that you don’t see me like that. I get that it was so hard to kiss me, but you had no problem fucking Stacey in the hotel gym now, did you?” she roars out the last part. “I’m not your type; I get it. Trust me, the message has been received loud and clear.” I don’t even hear the rest of her rant. The only thing I catch is I fucked Stacey in the gym.
“What are you talking about?” I ask in a whisper.
“Please spare me,” she scoffs. “I heard her,” she says. When I look at her, I see big tears forming in her eyes, but she blinks them away. “I was in the bathroom stall, and I heard her come in, and she told someone that she fucked you in the gym last night.” The lump I had in my throat before suddenly becomes bigger. It becomes so big I can’t say anything. My mouth just opens and closes, so Kellie continues, “I’m sorry I put you in that position.”
“I never fucked her.” The words finally come out, my voice heavy with anger. “I never laid a finger on her.”
“You don’t have to do this.” She shakes her head. A tear finally falls, but she wipes it away as fast as it came. “You can do what you want with whoever you want.”
“I never even touched her. She was in the gym, and she came on to me, but I turned her down.” I watch her face, and I watch her eyes. What Cori said finally snaps into place. I have one more shot with her. “When you asked me to kiss you, I said I can’t. I never said I didn’t want to.”
Hollywood Princess Page 12