by Lisa Doughty
“Emelia, if I am going to consider this, then I have to know more than just what I did with the Earl. I have to know what I’m doing. I want to do to him what he did to me. But, I can just… perform as I did before.” Tears came to her eyes. “I will never do that with a man again, never!”
Emelia hugged Cordelia. As soon as she calmed down, she said, “I have told you a million times. Not all men are like the Earl. You never have to do that again if you do not wish to. Do you hear me? Never!” When Cordelia nodded, she smiled. “There are many ways to please a man, sweetheart. In the end, women have all the control. It may not seem so, but we do. You need to talk with Roddy. If anyone knows what to do with a man’s body, it is him!”
Chapter 21
Cordelia was lost in thought as she dressed for dinner. Roddy was putting the final touches on her coif. Tilly helped her into her dress and laced it up the back so tight she didn’t think she could take a deep breath if her life depended on it.
“How do I look?” she asked, feeling a tad insecure.
“Beautiful, as always,” Emelia said, with a smile.
“Simply irresistible!” Roddy exclaimed.
Cordelia looked in the mirror. The look Roddy had created was soft and subtle. Her hair flowed in gentle waves around her face and shoulders. A few wispy curls framed her face and looked completely natural.
She had to admit that the style enhanced her natural beauty. Plus, her off the shoulder gown showed more skin on her chest and shoulders than she was used to, making her feel exposed. The simple chain choker drew attention to her neck but was not so heavy that it didn’t look kissable. The skirt, hugged her waist and hips, leaving little to the imagination. The look had clearly been designed to seduce. Cordelia took a deep breath and puffed her cheeks out like a chipmunk before she released it. She was extremely nervous and slightly nauseous now that the time had come to face Lord Roth for dinner.
“I do not think I can do it.” She was losing her nerve. “He will see right through me. This is a bad idea.”
“It is a great idea, in fact, a perfect idea. And, with the right gentleman. Do not over think it, Cordi.” Emelia coaxed.
“Hells bells, lovey, you are not going to have to do a thing! The man will come to you. All you will have to do is give over,” Roddy teased.
“Roddy! Cease! I am nervous enough. I haven’t fully decided whether I am going to go through with it.”
“If you don’t, I will!” Roddy teased, but immediately regretted his words.
Cordelia looked downright terrified. He tended to forget that, behind her polished façade, there was an innocent and inexperienced young girl. When Emelia had come to him and suggested that he teach her what to do to a man’s body, he about fell over. But, once she explained about the encounter during Closet Duo, he was excited to help. He couldn’t wait to discover the outcome. Now, Cordelia would most likely back out of the plan. Damn. Something must be done, and quickly. This opportunity may never come again.
“I apologize, lovey. I shouldn’t have teased you.”
“It’s alright, Roddy. It is not you, it’s me. I’m just not cut out for seduction. I mean, I know how to seduce a man to distract him, of course. But when it comes to what’s next…well, that’s the part I’m not cut out for.”
“How do you know? Certainly, you cannot count your experiences with my brother. And, as I recall, your short encounter in the closet left the man wanting more,” Emelia pointed out.
“That hardly…”
“Plus, you are a student of my excellent tutelage,” Roddy added, trying to boost her confidence.
“Look, Cordi. Go to dinner and see what happens. Let nature take its course. You do not have to do anything you do not want to. That is the beauty of this, after all.” Emelia put a hand on her arm. “You are in control. Remember that.”
“You are right, of course. I do not know why I am so nervous,” Cordelia confessed.
Cordelia was pleased to see her guests mingling when she entered the parlor. There were a lot of smiles and shy looks being exchanged. The gentlemen were now eager to engage with the ladies. Any residual nervousness faded as she looked at her guests’ excited faces.
“Nothing like a little titillation to revive a party,” Roddy whispered, before Lady Milstein approached.
“Rodrigo.” She curtsied. “Do you not think my look is too young? Can you not convince my mother that I need a more mature style? Please?” she whined.
“You are perfection, my lady,” he appeased. “Perhaps a small change to your coif is all that is needed.”
“Oh?”
Cordelia and Emelia went to fetch a glass of champagne, leaving Roddy to handle the young lady.
“You know, we could concentrate on finding a husband for you, Emelia,” Cordelia whispered. “It would be better than the both of you being obsessed with my virginity.”
“We are obsessed with your happiness, Cordelia, which goes hand in hand with the fact that you are still a virgin, a unique position to be sure,” she said quietly as she surveyed the room. “You’ll understand once you give yourself to someone. Besides, I have already experienced all that love and sex has to offer. My chance at love has come and gone.”
“Gone? How can that be? You are still young, only five years older than me, for goodness sake. You have a chance at love and marriage just as much as everyone in this room. Are you never lonely? Crave a little attention for yourself? You make so much of it to me, after all.”
“Attention is easy to get Cordi. Love is entirely different thing. Trust me when I say I have no lack of…attention. I am human after all.” Emelia took a small sip of champagne but did not meet Cordelia’s gaze.
Cordelia gasped in surprise. Roddy never attempted to hide his affairs. In fact, quite the opposite. He flaunted his lovers and his heartbreak when it was over. Cordelia had never seen Emelia with anyone, ever. How could she have kept such a thing from her?
“What! Who? Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” She narrowed her eyes, feeling slightly betrayed, since she considered Emelia more of a sister than an in-law.
“You haven’t been, shall we say, open to the subject since Harvey passed. I thought it better to be discrete. Roddy is ostentatious enough for both of us.”
“That is an understatement!” Cordelia exclaimed. They both laughed.
“Now, it is your turn, Cordi, if you wish it to be.” Emelia smiled.
As if on cue, Lord Roth walked into the parlor with his sister on his arm. Cordelia’s heart skipped. Just the sight of the man robbed her of her composure. He was so tall and masculine. Good Lord, did she dare be as bold as Roddy had suggested? Lord Roth was scanning the room. She quickly turned her back before his gaze found her. Her cheeks turned pink, Emelia smiled knowingly.
“I cannot fathom why you are resisting this so completely! It is easy to see that you are attracted to the man.”
“Alright. I admit I find him handsome. But then he says or does something so…so…arrogant! It vexes me to my core!” Cordelia hissed.
“Then beat him to it. Truly, Cordi, you have nothing to lose,” Emelia whispered.
“Except my temper.”
“I haven’t been in the room long enough for you to lose your temper with me, my lady. Unless, of course, the mere sight of me can ignite it,” came Lord Roth’s voice from behind her.
“Rhys!” Lady Esme exclaimed, embarrassed by his impertinence.
Cordelia gulped, then plastered a smile on her face. She met his eye directly, and curtsied.
“Once again, my lord, you never fail to see yourself at the center of everything, even when you are not. That, in itself, would prick anyone’s temper, would it not?” she said, with a smile.
Lady Esme put her hand over her mouth to hide her smile at Cordelia’s insult. Lord Roth was seething. Served him right! How dare he assume she had been talking about him, even if she was. Ignoring Lord Roth, Cordelia addressed Lady Esme.
“My word,
Lady Drayson, you look stunning! Is this the work of Rodrigo?” Cordelia slid her arm into Esme’s and pulled her away from her brother. “Tell me all! Are you enjoying working with him? He can be quite a handful, can he not?”
Cordelia steered Esme away, as Lord Roth glared after them. Good, arrogant ass! To think she had been nervous to see him! Ha! The man needed someone to put him in his place. Did he think every woman would fall at his feet, including her? Well, he could think again.
Lady Esme was chatting about Rodrigo, but Cordelia could not concentrate on what she was saying. She felt Lord Roth’s stare boring a hole in her back. How on earth was she to survive dinner with the man plotting his revenge for her insolence? Her heart sped up at the thought. What would he do to her? By his expression, he was not thinking of kissing her. Good! Problem solved. It wasn’t precisely the revenge she wanted for his impertinence in the closet, but it would do. She relaxed. It was over, and now she wouldn’t have to do what Roddy had suggested. Relief and disappointment warred with each other, why couldn’t she be done with this man?
“Dinner is served,” Rupert announced.
Everyone migrated to the dining room, saving her from having to deliver Lady Esme back to Lord Roth.
“I took the liberty of seating you next to me, Lady Drayson. I hope you do not mind.”
“I’m honored, Lady Cromwell,” she exclaimed.
“Shall we get past all these formalities? Please call me Cordelia or, in the least, Lady Cordelia. Lady Cromwell makes me feel like an old crone!” She laughed, and Lady Esme did too.
“It would be my pleasure, Lady Cordelia, if you will call me Lady Esme in return. Certainly, no one could ever think of you as an old crone!”
“I would hope not, but the title does imply such. I enjoy people’s reaction when we first meet, and they realize I was much younger than my late husband. But I admit my enjoyment ends after their initial reaction. I feel as though I will turn into one eventually if I am called Countess or Lady Cromwell too often.” She smiled.
“I cannot imagine it, my lady, truly.”
“Speaking of imagining, what is it you imagine in a husband, Lady Esme?”
“I am not sure, my lady. I just know that the suitors I have had in the past were not for me.” She looked away shyly.
Shyness did not fit Esme’s demeanor. She was clearly hiding something.
“How can I assist you if you don’t tell me what you desire?”
Esme stared at Cordelia, perhaps deciding if it was safe to impart her secret. After she looked around to be sure that no one was listening, she leaned close to Cordelia’s ear.
“That is what I wish, Lady Cordelia. Overwhelming desire. To be swept away, captivated and out of control. So far, I have not been inspired, if you understand my meaning,” she whispered.
Her words made her think of her encounter with Roth. Her stomach lurched, since that was precisely how she felt with him, completely engulfed in ecstasy and swept away by desire. She shivered, and her sex tingled at the reminder. Cordelia smiled. She had guessed right. The Duke could very well be perfect for her.
“Then you will need a more experienced gentleman, Lady Esme. Do not discount a candidate that is a few years your senior. Typically, experience is needed to inspire such feelings,” she replied quietly and waved for Esme to sit at the table.
“Age is less important to me than attraction, my lady, but, so far, I find that the more mature lords do not want a wife with little or no experience. The younger lords only consider the social or monetary connections I bring. They seem disinterested whether I desire them or not. Men have the luxury of marrying for money or position. If they get bored of their wife, they have leave to take a mistress. I have no choice but to try to choose correctly the first time.”
“Too true, unfortunately. The lot of women are vastly different than that of men. I do understand, Lady Esme. Let me think on it and see what can be done.” She put her hand over Esme’s and smiled.
“I ask for nothing more.”
Chapter 22
Lady Esme’s giggle caught her attention. She was discretely signaling her brother. He made a funny face at her. At first, Cordelia acted like she did not notice. So! The cad did have a lighter side after all! It made her wonder what he would be like if he were comfortable enough to be like that with her. He always so intense when they were in each other’s company. She couldn’t imagine him joking and making faces. She did not even know what his face looked like when filled with lust. The closet had been too dark to make out his features. She knew nothing more than his ever-present scowl. How little she knew of this man. He caught her looking at him and the scowl returned. Now that was the Lord Roth she knew, she gave him a sarcastic smile. It probably had burned him to no end not to be invited to sit next to his sister. Served him right. He needed to be taken down a notch or two, the self-absorbed ass! He probably enjoyed being between Lady Everest and Larson. They were both very well endowed, and, no doubt, found him attractive. No wonder Emelia had decided to place him there.
Finally, dessert was served. Cordelia pushed the tart around her plate. She would save it for the servant’s children. Elisa’s daughter would love it, she thought absentmindedly.
The truth was, despite her best efforts, she was starting to feel regret. Maybe she should have played with Lord Roth one more time. One more kiss wouldn’t have hurt either of them. She had been terrible to him. It was not like her to be rash, angry and mean. He was the only man who had ever made her lose her temper so quickly. Really, it wasn’t his fault. She had let it happen. Now, he would never want to be in her company again. She should apologize. He had been kind enough to apologize to her when he had made a mistake. The least she could do is to reciprocate.
Everyone at the table was finished with dinner and talking quietly. Lord Roth was no longer there. Her stomach plunged even further. Had he retired? Now she would have a sleepless night, consumed with guilt about her horrible behavior. Bewildered, she stood to excuse everyone.
“If everyone will join me outside, I have arranged for bonfires on the lawn. We can take our port and brandy at the fire.”
The group eagerly started to go outside. After everyone exited, Cordelia went to the kitchen to check on the marshmallows for the bonfire. Rupert intercepted her halfway down the hall.
“Yes, my lady?”
“I came to check on…” At the rise of one of his eyebrows, she decided not to continue. “Never mind, I am sure you have everything in hand.”
“Yes, my lady.” He bowed and walked on.
Cordelia needed a cognac and a moment alone. She preferred cognac over brandy. It did the job quickly and was sweeter in comparison. She ducked into the closest parlor and closed the door. Pleased that the bar cart had an ample supply of her favorite, she poured herself a healthy glass and took a pull.
“Did you enjoy dinner?” Lord Roth’s deep voice penetrated the silence. His question sounded more of an accusation.
Cordelia whipped around. There he was, in a wingback chair, a brandy snifter balanced between two fingers. His smirk was telling. He was irritated. Would the man ever be pleasant around her?
“Lord Roth! I did not see you. I didn’t mean to disturb,” she stumbled to say. Butterflies invaded her belly as he slowly rose from his chair.
“Did you say you did not mean to disturb me?” he asked.
He slowly walked toward her, his eyes holding her captive.
“I didn’t know you were in here, my lord, I…”
“Are you purposely trying to annoy me, madam?”
Why was he annoyed? Angry, insulted, she could understand, but annoyed? He stopped a few feet short of her, but she still had to crane her neck to look up at him.
“What?” she asked quietly. She was sure he could hear her heart beating inside her chest.
His eyes darted between hers. Cordelia realized that were not green, as she had first thought, but were hazel, with gold flecks that made them look lighter. H
is long black lashes intensified their color. A lock of his hair had fallen onto his forehead, making him look even more attractive. The urge to sweep it back into place was overwhelming, but his angry expression held her at bay.
“What is your game, Lady Cromwell? I usually enjoy a challenge, but dinner was beyond my limits. I assure you, once I have my mind set on something I am not easily deterred.”
Her eyes involuntarily dropped to his lips as he spoke, and she recalled how warm they were when he had kissed her. Good Lord. The man was a menace to her senses. What was he talking about? Surely his anger must be a result of her curtness. It was time she apologized. Cordelia dropped her eyes to her glass.
“I apologize, my lord, for overreacting earlier. I am not usually so insensitive.” She peeked at him. His brows were pinched, and he looked confused.
“Insensitive?” he repeated. “Do you think you hurt my feelings?”
He sounded amused. Cordelia pushed on before she lost her nerve.
“I sincerely hope not, my lord. It’s not in my nature to be cruel. I do not know what got into me…”
He chuckled. Was he making fun of her as she tried to apologize? She stepped back angrily. She should have known he would act this way! Did his arrogance know no bounds?
“I assure you, my lady, my heart is unaffected by your paltry insults or attempts to dissuade me. It has had quite the opposite effect, I assure you. No inexperienced chit can tempt me more than you.”
“Tempt you? You think I am trying…”
“You forget, madam. I was in the closet with you. There is no reason to continue to play coy with me.”
“Coy? You think I’m playing with you?”
“No. I think it is my turn. You did not have to work this hard for my attention, and am I no longer enjoying the chase. Shall we come to terms instead?”
Cordelia was taken completely off guard. Did he expect her to become his mistress, just like that? She had been right about him. He was used to women falling at his feet.