by Lisa Doughty
“Men are silly things. They often let their egos rule the day. What does your heart say?”
“My heart belongs to Lord Tilman. His kiss, oh my, Lady Cromwell, I cannot describe it…I…”
“I understand. And your feelings for Lord Wright?”
“He is the better match for sure, higher in rank and situation, but his kiss felt nothing like Tilman’s. Oh, it is all so confusing! Help me, Lady Cromwell! What should I do?” she buried her face in her hands. Cordelia rubbed her back.
“Whatever you do, do not rush into a decision. If their intentions are true, they will wait for you. Follow your heart. It will guide you in the right direction,” she consoled. “Now, you must compose yourself and get back out there. See what happens this evening before you decide anything. The answer will become clear soon enough.”
They stood, and Cordelia helped Lady Verness refresh her appearance. Lady Verness curtsied and walked regally out of the alcove. Cordelia followed, and circled the courtyard twice looking for Rhys. Where could have he gone? Why would he leave her and his sister on such a momentous occasion? Then, just for an instant, she saw him deep in conversation with a gentleman at the top of the stairs. Then, Rhys went one way and the gentleman the other. Both had determined looks on their faces. Odd, Cordelia thought, and tried to quell her suspicions.
By the time Cordelia arrived at the top of the stairs, they were gone. Cordelia scanned the room, this time looking for the lady in the green dress. She got a sickening feeling when she realized the beautiful woman was also gone. Now, there was no controlling her paranoid thoughts. Was he with her? Had she been used after all? Now that Esme was to be engaged, was he done with her? Was everything he had said a lie or a ploy to use her connections to match his sister without having to pay? He would not be the first to try. No. Many have tried this tactic before. She would not allow herself to believe it. Why would he go to such extremes? It made no sense at all.
There was one sure way to find out. Cordelia plastered a smile on her face and walked briskly to the stairs, nodding to everyone along the way. Once halfway up, she ran to Rhys’ door. She pressed her ear against it and heard muffled conversation. He was there. Her heart sank even further. It could not be true! He must be talking to his valet she reasoned. Cordelia checked the handle, and it wasn’t locked. A small measure of relief flooded, he always locked the door when he was with her, always. Her heart lifted a fraction, and she swung the door open.
The blood drained from her face as she took in the scene. The beautiful woman in the green dress was naked, lying on the bed while Rhys, one knee on the mattress, leaned over her, tying her hands to the bedpost. Judging by his face, he was either angry, or excited. There was a riding crop on the bed beside her. Rhys’ words about a riding crop surfaced. He was getting ready to spank the woman! The woman was looking at him with such lust. Obviously, this was not the first time they had done this. This woman was Rhys’ lover. As if in slow motion Rhys looked over to her. His face changed to shock and he dropped his hands.
“Cordelia.”
At the sound of her name, her heart shattered into a million pieces. It was a lie, all of it! A lie and a manipulation! He was everything she thought he was. A rake, a seducer and an arrogant cad, who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. And she had given him everything. Tears stung her eyes, and her feet felt like lead as she turned to run from the room.
“Wait!”
Cordelia heard the panic in his voice as she fled. She started down the hallway, but this time he was on her before she got too far. He grabbed her arm and spun her around. The look of anguish on his face was so convincing. How did he do it?
“Cordelia, this is not what you think. Let me explain,” he pleaded.
Cordelia looked at his hand on her arm, then to his face. He reluctantly let go. The moment her arm was free, she pulled it back and slapped his face as hard as she could. Her hand stung from the blow. His head snapped sideways, then he slowly turned back to lock eyes with her.
“Do not ever touch me again,” she hissed. His eyes narrowed and, although his features looked angry, his eyes were full of sorrow.
“I’m afraid that is not possible, Cordelia. I could never stay away from you. We are to be married, remember?”
“Ha! You can drop your pretense now my lord. You have won!”
“Won?”
“Yes, everything! Your sister is to be a duchess. They wait for you downstairs to make the announcement. And, you have bedded the elusive matchmaker to boot! A very successful week for you, my lord. I’d say your work here is done.”
“You think I asked you to marry me to make a match for my sister?”
“A rather clever move on your part, I must say. You strung me along until the match was solidified, although it was completely unnecessary, Esme caught the Duke on her own. I only made an introduction. It was one step too far, my lord. You may want to keep that in mind for next time,” she said, much calmer than she felt. She turned to storm away, but he stepped in front of her.
“There will not be a next time, Cordelia. You might as well resign yourself to that fact,” he said sternly. “And, though you may not want to hear my explanation right now, this changes nothing between us.”
Her eyes snapped to his. What was his game? He couldn’t possibly think she would marry him after this.
“You cannot be serious.”
“I am perfectly serious. This changes nothing.”
The look on his face scared her. He was livid, practically shaking with anger. Did he hate losing so much that he would condemn her to a life of misery? His bedroom door opened, and the woman poked her head out, clutching her dress to cover her bosom.
“Rhys?” The woman called his name expectantly, and Cordelia saw him flinch. Her heart shattered all over again. Tears welled in her eyes.
“It changes everything,” she whispered. His expression turned to despair. “Never speak to me again.” Before she completely lost her composure, Cordelia turned and walked away.
“You are mine, Cordelia. Nothing will change that. Ever. This is not over,” he called after her.
She paused for the briefest of seconds before she kept walking. Oh, how she wanted those words to be true! But the ache in her chest told her all she needed to know. He was a rake. He would never be faithful, and she would not live like that, ever. She had vowed long ago to never to belong to a man again. Where had she lost her resolve? When had she become so weak? She straightened her spine and continued walking, vowing not to look back.
Cordelia’s hands shook uncontrollably as she searched for the button to open the panel to the servant’s hallway. Once inside, she crumpled to the floor. Oh god, the pain was a knife in her heart. Why would God show her such a promise of happiness if she was not destined to have it? Her body was overcome by sobs. Quickly as she could she made her way to her room and flung herself through the door. Tilly was there, laying out her night clothes. She sucked in her breath and ran to her when she saw Cordelia.
“My lady, what is wrong? Oh my, come sit down.” She put her hand around her waist and helped her to the vanity. “Is the ball already over?”
“No. Please send someone for Emelia. I cannot go back down. I am not feeling well.”
“Oh, my lady, should I call for a doctor…”
“Tilly, please, just do as I say!” she screamed and slammed her fist on the table. Tilly jumped. “And, post footmen by my door. I do not want to see anyone but Emelia, is that clear?” Tilly ran off to do her bidding.
Cordelia looked in the mirror, picked up a tub of powder, and threw it at her reflection.
“Fool! This is what you get for letting your guard down!” she screamed at herself.
Suddenly, the weight of the necklace became unbearable, as if it was a collar that suppressed her freedom. She had to get it off! And, struggled with the clasp. Tilly came rushing in.
“Let me help you, my lady. I sent a footman for Lady Emelia. She should be here s
oon,” she cajoled. “And there is already one footman at the door.”
“Fine. Thank you,” she said softly, feeling guilty for yelling at her earlier. Tilly managed to unclasp the necklace, and placed it gingerly into the box gingerly. Cordelia watched as Tilly closed the lid. It had been a lie, all of it. The necklace was a symbol of that manipulation. Or, could it have been payment for services rendered? The thought made her nauseous. She wanted nothing to remind her of him or their time together. She would wipe him from her mind forever! Just then, Emelia came rushing in. When Cordelia saw the concern on her features, she completely lost her composure and ran to her, flinging herself against Emelia in a hug. Emelia steered them over to the settee and sat them down.
“Oh Emelia! I am such a fool!” She buried her face in her hands and let the tears flow. “And I told him I would marry him! I should have never trusted him! I knew better.” She sobbed and put her face in Emelia’s lap.
“Cordelia, my heavens! What has happened? Just an hour ago you were in paradise because of the man! What could have happened?”
“I caught him, Emelia, with another woman!”
“No! I cannot believe it! It makes no sense! Why would he risk. . .”
“Well, he did! There is no mistake this time. She was on his bed, naked. And…” When visions of Rhys tying the woman to the bedpost surfaced she started to sob uncontrollably, no longer able to speak.
“What did he say? He must’ve said something…,” Emelia asked incredulous. A knock on the door interrupted her train of thought. Tilly rushed to answer it.
“Send them away. I do not care who it is…,” Cordelia ordered, panicked. She could not face anyone right now, especially Rhys.
Tilly opened the door and took a note from the footman. With shaky hands, she handed it to Cordelia. Tilly had tears in her eyes.
“It’s from him, my lady,” she said quietly.
Cordelia looked at the missive as if it were a poisonous snake. She knew deep in her heart that if he tried to win her back right now he would succeed. She would do anything to take away this pain and feel like she had before. But there was no going back, and she knew it. She could never trust him again. She would never believe any man again. They were all selfish, self-serving pigs!
“Throw it away,” she ordered.
“Don’t you wish for answers, Cordelia?” Emelia asked softly. “If for nothing else but to get closure?”
“No. I care not what he has to say, whether it be an apology or an excuse. I will never trust him again, ever! So, it does not matter,” she said, sadly, resigned. “Throw it away. Get it out of my sight.”
“Cordelia…”
“Emelia, whose side are you on? I just saw the only man I have ever loved in bed with naked woman. Can you not, even for a moment, see how shattered I am…I…” Tears came again but did not quell the stabbing pain in her chest. She felt weak, and wished she could somehow turn her brain off. She stood and started to walk to the dressing area. “Tilly please, get me out of this gown and fetch me the sleeping draught we used for the Earl.”
“Cordelia! You cannot use that! It’s too dangerous!” Emelia exclaimed.
“I need to sleep. I need relief. I will face this tomorrow, after everyone has left. Please Emelia, no lectures. I cannot take any more tonight. Please.”
“Fine, but I am administering the potion. I insist,” she said forcefully.
Tilly handed Emelia the bottle as soon as she had Cordelia in her night clothes. Emelia measured the smallest amount and put it in a small pull of cognac. Cordelia swallowed it in one gulp.
“I have to get back downstairs,” Emelia stated, and hugged her. “I will come back and check on you in a few minutes.”
“Yes, of course,” Cordelia answered, but, truthfully, she did not care.
As soon as Emelia and Tilly left the room Cordelia went to the waste can and looked for Rhys’ note. It was not there. She supposed it was for the best. The necklace box stood out like a beacon, and the stabbing pain returned at the sight of it. She fingered the note he had included and read it once more.
Because you are mine, and I am yours, now and forever more.
It seemed like a year had passed since she last read it. What a lie! Hers indeed! Cordelia went to her writing desk and took out parchment and ink. She wrote a message, folded it in half, and tucked his note inside. She placed the note on the box and handed them both to Tilly who walked in with a tea tray.
“Make sure this is in Lord Roth’s carriage in the morning. He intends to leave early so be sure you see to the task yourself. I do not want you to miss it, understand?”
“Yes, my lady,” Tilly confirmed with tears and a curtsy. Cordelia went to bed, beginning to feel the effects of the draught. The moment she was under the covers, sleep overtook her. Tilly opened the note and read it.
I belong to no one.
* * *
To be continued…
Look for Book 2
The Marquess
Coming soon.
Also by Lisa Doughty
Blackthorne Legacy Series
Black Star – Book one
Red Raven – Book Two
Black Dragon – Book Three
The Cougar, The Panther and The Fox Series
Detached – Book one
Depraved – Book Two
Devious – Book Three
Ladies of Kent Series
Ella and the Experiment – Book one
Letitia and the Letters – Book Two
Deidra and the Dilemma – Book Three
Lily and the Laird – Book Four
The Matchmaker Series
The Countess – Book one
The Marquess – Book Two (Coming 2019)
The Matchmaker – Book Three (Coming 2019)
For the newest releases and author information visit:
Lisadoughty.com