“I’ve seen plenty of beautiful women—”
“Not off to a promising start,” I said.
“See? You. It’s you. No woman has ever gotten my dick this hard by just looking at her.”
I angled my head, silently willing him to say more.
“It’s not just that. Your snarky responses to put me in my place should send me to the hills, yet I keep coming back for more.”
If I’d wanted a declaration of our relationship status, that wasn’t what I’d gotten. I didn’t want complicated, right? “What now?”
His answer came in the form of scooping me up, which wasn’t at all disappointing. When he put me down, it wasn’t on my feet. My butt rested in the leather straps I’d spotted when I first walked in. I opened my mouth, but he filled it with his tongue, stroking it over mine as if he wanted to take things slowly as he drew off my mask. I had no idea where it went. With him so close, slow was the last thing on my mind. I grabbed his cock, finding it hard and ready.
“Not yet,” he said, his lips hovering over mine.
I reciprocated by removing his mask and flinging it off to the side. He removed my hand from his pants and guided it up to a loop above my head attached to the straps, all while holding my bottom up. I let him slide my hand through the loop and I held on as he did the same with my other hand.
“Hold on,” he said, spreading my legs.
I watched as he got to his knees, leaving my core open and exposed to him at eye level.
“Try not to scream,” he said cockily before taking a long lick up my slit to circle my clit.
When I leaned back, I might have fallen out if not for the extra straps that cradled my back. What he was doing reminded me of the saying Eat your heart out, though I would substitute heart with a different part of the body.
After an orgasm rocketed through me, I lay in bliss. He got to his feet and undid the top button on his pants. When his dick nearly sprang out, I wanted to get to my knees and thank heaven for creating such a specimen. The man was beguiling. Clearly, I was under some sort of spell, following him to a back room of a sex club where he claimed the cameras weren’t rolling.
“I want to fuck you there,” he said, pointing over my shoulder at the obedience bench.
My eyes widened as I remembered the name he’d given it. “What? Are you going to spank me?”
“Only if you want me to.”
Was I crazy for considering it?
“Are you in or out?” he asked.
“I want you in. I’m just not sure about that.” I glanced over my shoulder with suspicion.
“You only live once.”
“I know. That’s what I’m worried about.” When I met his eyes, I dissolved in his hungry gaze.
“We can stop whenever you want,” he said.
“Are you going to give me a safe word?”
“Do you need one?”
I shrugged. “I thought—”
“This is just you and me, not a scene. We aren’t testing your limits here.”
“Aren’t we?” I asked.
His smile was wide. “The way we will use that bench is just like on your knees in the bed. Nothing more. But if you need a word to trust me, pick one.” As I tried to think, he opened his fly wider, his jeans slipping down his hips. “Time’s up.”
He stepped forward and thrust his monster cock inside me.
“So much for the bench,” I said before I lost all reason.
Feelings and sensations overwhelmed me. The musical notes of our flesh meeting as he thrust inside me filled the room as I climbed toward the edge of desire.
After another two long pumps, he stilled inside me. “I’m not ready to come.”
He lifted me out of the straps, so I let go of the loops.
“The bench?” It was the best I could do to get any words out. I was so damn close.
“No. You’re not ready for that.” When I glared at him, he added, “You had to think about it.”
The mattress dipped under our weight as he laid me on my back. Before I could anticipate what would come next, he hooked an arm under my knee and bent my leg toward me to slip deeper.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he said, slowly kicking into gear as he ramped up his speed.
Friction did wonderful things to my insides. Every magic button was hit until I was spiraling out of control. Without giving a damn, I let out a scream that would surely inflate his ego. I owned my sexuality, and in this instance, I’d won the orgasm lottery.
Once the last of the aftershocks had disappeared, I was so relaxed, I closed my eyes for a second, speculating about what would come next.
“Are you up for the bench?” he whispered.
This time I didn’t hesitate. “Strap me in,” I said sleepily, feeling loose and limber and up for anything.
His chuckle stoked another fire in me as he scooped me up and gently positioned me on the bench. The padding was cool against my stomach. Whatever endorphins were running through my body had me smiling as he indeed strapped me in.
“Hold on,” he said.
Nineteen
Connor
The view before me was worthy of a canvas. It was an image that would stay in my mind until I could do it justice with paint. For now, I positioned my cock at her entrance and watched as it swallowed my cock whole.
She moaned, and I nearly groaned. I’d prolonged coming for as long as I could. Seeing her bound after her willingness to do so had me teetering on the edge. But her trust deserved much more than a quick release on my part.
I rubbed her ass and fought the urge to tap it. Nothing that would cause pain. I wasn’t into that. Instead, I worked to get her there while I fought my orgasm.
“Do it,” she said.
I needed clarification, so I asked, “Do what?”
“Spank me,” she said, sounding half drunk.
I hadn’t seen her drink, nor had she tasted of alcohol when we’d kissed. But I knew the signs of subspace and seeing her there had my balls heavy and ready to explode. “Spank you, huh?”
She nodded. So I did. A light smack that left a faint pink mark. She squirmed, no doubt getting some pleasure from where her clit made contact with the padding.
“More,” she said.
I pulled my cock fully out and tapped her pussy with the flat of my fingers. When she gasped and tightened her thighs, I knew she’d gone over the edge. I plunged back in as her walls quivered around me, and I let myself go.
Afterward, I stood there, catching my breath. The woman was getting under my skin. Sex with anyone hadn’t ever been this explosive.
My beauty lay there, eyes closed in the bliss I felt. I took my time unstrapping her, not wanting to disturb her moment of contentment or rather subspace. When I was done and she hadn’t opened her eyes, I picked her up, grabbed her dress, and covered her as best I could as I cradled her in my arms.
No one was in the halls, so I brought her to my office and laid her on my sofa. As she rested peacefully, I pulled on a shirt and grabbed my keys. I wouldn’t leave her alone to wake up wondering where she was. Instead, after getting her in her dress—with some help from her—I got her to drink some juice. I held her for a while and talked to her to make sure she was in the right head space before I drove her home. Aftercare was really important, and I asked her a few questions to check her well-being before tucking her in bed. I wasn’t surprised she slept most of the way there and slipped back into dreamland once I’d covered her. Orgasm released a cocktail of hormones—when they wear off could lead you to feel relaxed and sleepy.
Unfortunately, that phenomenon didn’t work on me. Sleep was something I found hard on any occasion.
It was hard to leave her, but I had to get back to the club. It was one of the busiest nights of the year. When I arrived, Eliza found me before I could walk the floor.
“You know who that is, right?” she asked.
“No,” I said, dismissing her. I wasn’t up to petty jealousy, which I hadn’t e
ver witnessed from her.
She blocked my path. “She’s dating that supermodel Hans.”
That stopped me. I didn’t know who this Hans was, other than guessing he was the guy who had called her the other night, but I said, “They aren’t together,” as though it didn’t bother me thinking I could be wrong about that.
She laughed as if I was stupid for believing that. “I’m pretty sure they’re engaged.”
“It’s really none of your business,” I said, though my mind replayed everything Lizzy had said. I believed her.
“She’s not even your type,” she said.
I faced her then and squarely met her gaze. “My type hasn’t worked out for me, has it?”
I hadn’t set out to hurt Eliza, but I turned and walked away. She was becoming a problem. Her jealousy was disappointing. Training her replacement would have to become a priority. I had a feeling that our business relationship would change significantly soon.
The night ran better than I hoped, only a few problems resulting in us removing certain individuals not following the rules. We also had an increase in applications for membership. If I was all about the money, I could let in more. For me, the quality of our membership mattered more than the quantity.
After a couple of hours of sleep, I went to the hospital to see Dad. He’d requested my presence, so dutifully, I arrived on time.
“My boy,” Dad said jovially as I walked into his hospital room. “I’m ready to get out of here.”
“I bet you are. What do the doctors say?”
He waved me off. “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
I nodded because there was no use arguing with him over that point. He knew as well as I did it was bluster on his part.
“Give me an update,” he demanded.
He wanted to know what was going on in his company. He had his phone, and I was sure his admin was giving him hourly play by plays. Still, I gave him a rundown of the meetings I’d had since we’d last spoken.
“It should be Kalen doing this,” I said in closing.
“He wants to spite me.”
“Do you blame him?” I asked in a moment of complete honesty.
“You know, I was grateful the day you were born. I thought, here’s my second chance,” he said, not answering my question. “I didn’t know where Kalen was at first. When I found out, I had you. I let your mother talk me into leaving things as they were. I only have one regret.”
“What’s that?” I asked, knowing he wanted me to.
“Leaving you at that school.”
I looked away not wanting to discuss the topic.
“I went there,” he said. “I didn’t—”
I waved him off. “What’s done is done. What you can do is make peace with Kalen.”
“You could run this company,” he said. “You’re doing it now. Everyone is so impressed.”
“You know that’s not going to happen.”
His face hardened. Any empathy he’d shown disappeared. “How long are you going to make me pay?”
I wasn’t making him pay—or was I? There were those who deserved cruel punishments for the sins of the past, but was Dad included on that list?
“This is about what I want, and it isn’t being CEO,” I said instead.
“Do you think your little underground empire will last?”
There was so much more to me than the club. But I had no intentions of explaining myself to him, Kalen, or anyone. “Long enough. Make peace with your firstborn. He’s your legacy, not me.”
I strolled out of the room as Dad called after me, but I didn’t turn around. Unable to leave without getting Dad’s status, I sought after the attending physician. I was relieved to learn they would release him in the next few days, if all went well. He’d had a minor heart attack and the doctor thought he’d fully recover but wanted to monitor him. I would hopefully be done playing King by next week. That day couldn’t come soon enough.
My next stop would prove even more interesting.
In the therapist’s office, I sat in a high-backed chair across from a formidable woman who wore an open expression meant to be inviting.
“It’s been a while,” she said, tipping her glasses down. “What brings you to my office?”
I felt like a boy about to give a confession to a priest and I wasn’t Catholic. “I’ve come to a crossroads.”
“How so?” she asked, as it was her job to listen more than speak.
“I’ve met someone.”
She gave only the briefest hint of interest. “This is significant, how?”
“I’ve found myself drawn to her more than any other woman before.” I watched her face for any tells.
“Do you think this is wise, given your past?”
“I thought your purpose was to help me get past that.”
“It is. But we haven’t spoken in a while. Does this woman have any idea about your—”
“Needs,” I supplied.
“Yes,” she said, happy with my choice of words.
“She’s performed beautifully so far.”
Her lips pursed. “Well, it appears you have it all under control. Why see me?”
“I’m still not sleeping.”
“The prescription isn’t working?”
I didn’t take the sleeping aid unless absolutely necessary. I chose to keep my answer simple. “No.”
She sat straighter. “I can prescribe something stronger.”
“No.”
“What do you want?” she asked.
To be normal, if that was possible.
“It’s been ten years,” I said. “How long does PTSD last?”
“That’s really up to you. Do you still suffer nightmares?”
I hated to admit it, but I nodded.
“It takes time. Regular therapy can help. Something you’ve stopped,” she said.
“Can you recommend someone?”
Her eyes widened. I knew I’d caught her off guard. “If you no longer deem my help as good for you, I have a few colleagues I can refer you too.”
“Yes, I’d appreciate that.”
“What was this?” she said with a little wave. “I feel like you’re breaking up with me.”
This was the first in a long line of steps to get rid of things and people who weren’t working in my life.
“It’s been years and nothing’s changed. I thought it important to have closure, as you’ve suggested on a number of occasions.”
“I haven’t helped you?” she asked, now on the defensive. It was probably less than professional on her part, but I’d blindsided her.
“You have to a point. I appreciate everything you’ve done. But we’ve hit a wall I haven’t broken through.”
“Is this her suggestion?”
Her. She had to be referring to the woman I began this conversation about.
“No. But she is the catalyst. She’s made me see that trying new things isn’t bad. I can be different without compromising who I am.”
She huffed and my brow rose. “I’m happy for you.” Though she sounded less than pleased. As I got up to leave, she added, “One last piece of advice.”
I hovered there without standing or sitting back down.
“She may not hang around when she finds out who you really are.”
I chuckled as I got to my feet. Professionalism had fled the building. “Who am I? Do you even know?”
I didn’t wait for an answer. This woman, who’d been a savior when I needed it, had turned bitter now that I didn’t need her anymore. Our doctor-patient relationship had evolved over time, but now I saw it for what it was. Toxic. She wanted to control me. I was no longer a vulnerable boy looking for absolution. I would excise my demons somehow, but not with her guidance.
My next stop was the first step in a plan to lay claim to what was mine. Lizzy.
Twenty
Lizzy
My morning was a mix of emotions. I was disappointed to wake alone again. Striker h
adn’t stayed—not that I’d expected him to. But I was forced to face the truth, at least to myself. With fresh eyes, I reevaluated my relationship with Hans and what I missed from it. Intimacy. Could I have that with Striker, or anyone, despite my past?
Still I couldn’t keep a smile off my face. Last night with Striker had been amazing, and I had no regrets. There had been plenty of orgasms, but what happened after had truly struck me. There had been tenderness when Striker removed my bonds and carried me to another room. He’d probably assumed I was asleep, but I had been in some space between awake and there. I had the vaguest of memories of him driving me home and putting me to bed. For a guy who seemed as relationship-phobic as I was, he’d cared for me in a way a boyfriend would have.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re so happy?” Bailey asked.
Her hair had changed, and I hadn’t reconciled it with the girl I’d met freshman year at college. She’d been so naïve, and in a lot of ways, she still was.
“I had the most interesting night of sex you could imagine,” I admitted.
When she turned a bright shade of red, I remembered who I was talking to.
“I’m afraid to ask,” she said.
“Don’t be. I’ll spare you the details and just say Striker took me to a sex club and I let him tie me up.” Her jaw dropped, and I clarified. “Okay, it was more like Velcro and straps than rope and ties.” As she sat there in stunned disbelief, I remembered something. “Oh, there might have been a spanking or two involved as well.”
My friend had only recently discovered sexual freedom. She’d come from a religious community separated from society, and my admission had obviously left her speechless.
“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking,” I said. “Believe me, I thought the same thing when I stepped into that room. But honest to god, Bails, and this scares me, I trusted him.”
“Wow,” she said.
“Exactly. I mean, I barely know the guy. But on some level, I knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “The spanking?”
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It didn’t so much hurt. Maybe it was the forbidden nature of it all, but it was the best sex I’ve had in my entire life.”
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