by Cole, Fiona
I put on a show of turning my back to him and bending in half to pick up my pants. I made sure to jump a little as I tugged them up, letting my breasts bounce in front of his face. I sat on Jake’s lap once I had my black leather top in place and asked him to tie the laces up the back. He’d bit my shoulder and cupped my breasts, pinching my nipples as I swirled my ass over his erection. And none of it had to do with Jackson. Jake and I were the only two people in the room. The way I needed it to be.
He finished tying me up before lifting me to stand. When I turned to face him, he was looking at Jackson. “Make sure you come over tonight, so we can celebrate.”
My stomach dropped. I was hoping to celebrate alone.
I didn’t think either of them noticed how quiet I was on the way to Voy. We’d grabbed an Uber together, and they’d chatted the whole way there while I gazed out the window. As soon as we stepped out though, I’d latched on to Jake’s hand.
This was my business partner, my date, my fiancé. Once we entered, Jackson got pulled off by Daniel and made his rounds of back slaps and congratulations. Some of our employees who’d helped with the project all mingled, and Jake and I made our rounds talking to them. The night was going great.
Jackson was busy with his side of the business and Jake and I were connected at the hip with ours. He even took time to dance with me. I loved it. Even if I had to ignore the way Jake kept looking around, his eyes constantly finding Jackson in the crowd.
“You’ve done an amazing job. This place is exceptional,” Daniel said to me. I was just returning from the restroom and saw Jake over at the bar when Daniel approached me. “I really couldn’t have done this without Wellington and Russo—without you and your vision.”
“It was just me putting your ideas into reality. But thank you.”
“I’ll be making sure to leave a glowing review with your father.”
“You don’t have to do that, Daniel.”
His brows furrowed, looking annoyed. “I know I don’t, but you deserve credit where credit is due. Female or not.”
Realization set in. “Jake told you.”
He shook his head. “I picked up on it here and there at various meetings.”
Heat flooded my cheeks, embarrassed by how obvious it must be to everyone else. Maybe everyone would respect me more if my father did too.
“Kent mentioned he’s working with you. Says you know your shit.”
I was grateful Daniel moved on and he had me laughing. Kent was a businessman who didn’t hold back with his words. He didn’t waste time with formalities. I liked it.
“Thank you for recommending him to me.”
“Thank you for doing so great. Don’t forget your importance, Carina.”
With that, he patted my shoulder and walked away to talk to someone else. A new smile firmly in place, my chest feeling lighter, I made my way over to where Jake stood at the bar. He’d just turned with two drinks in his hands when I reached him. I slid my hands under his suit jacket and around his back to grip his muscular ass.
“Let’s celebrate alone tonight.” I pressed up on my toes to kiss his chin, trying to seduce my fiancé. “I got a new toy I want you to use on me.”
His head jerked down with furrowed brows. “Without Jackson?”
My balloon of confidence popped. That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for, and it had my irritation rising despite how I fought it. “Yeah. Just us.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t always need him there.” I ground my jaw and stepped back, dropping my hands. This should have been an easy thing to agree to.
“Let’s just see how the night goes,” he answered distractedly. His brows were still furrowed but focused on something over my shoulder. When I turned, I found Jackson smiling with another man. They were close, and the man had his hands on Jackson’s hips, holding him. Jackson was leaning back a bit, but I could still recognize the flirting from a mile away. Maybe he was looking to move on too.
I expected to turn and make a joke about our friend finding someone else to celebrate with, but the words died in my throat when I looked at Jake. His lips were parted and turned down—his whole face was turned down. His chest was working on overtime and his Adam’s apple bobbed over swallow after swallow. He looked like he was going to cry.
What the fuck? I stepped back, further. Not that he even noticed.
I could see from the periphery that Jackson had noticed Jake staring. I wanted him to shrug or give a thumbs-up and turn back to the guy, but instead he frowned too and began shaking his head, like he was letting Jake know it was nothing to worry about. Jake’s exhale of relief screamed across my skin like a warning siren. His shoulders relaxed, and his lips twitched in a smile.
Each action had nausea rolling across my stomach. Watching the two of them, seeing it right in front of me like I didn’t even exist. It was too much.
Then Jackson mouthed Only you, and Jake’s whole face lit up before he looked away like a shy school girl.
I’d looked like that when Jake said sweet things to me. Me. His fiancée.
Fire burned behind my eyes as I couldn’t hold back the truth anymore.
It wasn’t just Jackson with a silly crush. It wasn’t Jake just ignoring it to give me the good time I wanted.
My vision darkened around the edges and I realized I was holding my breath watching the scene play out. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
They loved each other.
Jake loved Jackson.
Jake loved someone other than me.
“I’m not feeling so good.”
“Huh?” He turned to look down on me like he was surprised I was still there.
“I’m not feeling well. I—I think I’m going to head home early.”
Jake looked back up at Jackson and then back to me. “Can I help at all?”
Yeah, you could not love someone else.
“No. Unless you maybe want to come home with me.” My voice was so hopeful even though I knew the answer.
“Umm.” He looked across the room and winced before looking back at me. “Would you mind if I stayed a little longer?”
Yes.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll see you later.”
* * *
The self-hatred began around shot four. Or was it five? I lost count and took another one. Tequila was getting me through the night.
I did this.
I started all of it.
I had no idea.
What will my father say?
Stupid truth or dare.
Stupid sexual adventures.
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here dressed like that?”
I set my shot glass down and waved the bartender away when he offered another. Then I turned toward the deep husky voice next to me. He was dressed in a dark suit, the tie long gone and the top few buttons undone. It fit him like a glove which had to be altered because they didn’t make suits to fit shoulders that broad. And the way it hugged his arms. . .yeah, definitely altered. I scrunched my nose and wondered if it would take more than two hands to fit around his bicep.
Then I looked up into gray eyes. Who had gray eyes? I blinked to focus in on his clean jaw and full lips tipped up into an enticing smile. His nose was crooked like it’d been broken a time or two. It hardened up his very beautiful face.
“Like what you see? Or are you confused? I can’t tell by your face right now,” he said on a laugh, exposing his white teeth.
I looked down to his black shoes and back up to his unusual gray eyes. “Not too shabby yourself for a place like this.”
He shrugged those broad shoulders, and I didn’t know if it was the pain or the tequila that made me want to feel his back ripple under the movement. “Work meeting not too far from here.”
“My fiancé is in love with someone else.”
I laughed. High-pitched and almost like a cry. But I held it back and covered my lips. That was the first time I’d actually said out loud what I think I knew for a wh
ile now. Another laugh bubbled up, but thankfully the bartender set a glass of water down in front of me and I swallowed that down with the hysteria trying to escape.
“You deserve better. You look like a woman who doesn’t come second. First or nothing.”
“Looks like it’s nothing then.”
“For now,” he murmured, and I turned to look at him again.
He was handsome. Sexy, if I was honest. He was the first man I’d really looked at in over two years. Other than Jackson, of course. But even that was with a different eye. That was a woman who was confident in her relationship, looking at a man objectively. I looked at this man, got lost scanning his full lips, like a woman who could kiss him. Who could take him home. I looked at him like I was inspecting if he’d be a good lover—a good kisser.
Would he?
“Can I...can I try something?” I asked, turning to face him. He nodded, and I leaned forward, but stopped. “Are you single?”
“Sure am.” He looked down at my lips.
What was I doing? I’d been talking to him for all of ten minutes, and I was leaning forward getting ready to see if kissing another man without Jake right there felt as crazy as it sounded.
He met me halfway, already interpreting my intentions. At first, I had to fight from pulling back. It was wrong. His lips too full and too different from the ones I knew so well. But then his tongue licked at the seam of my lips and I opened, letting the taste of his expensive scotch onto my tongue. He gripped my chin and held me in place as he slowly explored my mouth and soon it didn’t feel so wrong.
Which scared me more than the shock of the difference when I first started.
I jerked back, but still remained close, his fingers still on my chin.
“I—” My words cut off and I licked my lips, savoring the last taste of his alcohol. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Listen, beautiful. I can be the man that takes you home and finds ways to make you forget who hurt you. I can make you like it. But I’m not sure that’s what you want. And I’m not the man to cause regrets.” He pressed another soft kiss and I returned it. “But if I’m wrong, then just tell me. I’ll pay for those shots and fuck you before we even make it upstairs. Probably finger you in the cab on the way home.”
Nothing was stopping the moan from escaping my lips.
Neither was anything stopping the fire from exploding in my chest and rising up my throat. I swallowed it down a little longer. The tequila and sexy stranger I was using as a distraction were wearing off, and I could feel the moment I was going to break rising up to crush me. I needed to get home. I needed to find a safe place to break.
“As tempting as that is, I should probably get going. Two wrongs wouldn’t make a right anyway.”
“I can’t say I’m happy with your morals, but I can understand them and respect them.”
Respect. He respected me. Just for a second and it felt amazing. Enough to buy me time to get home and hopefully not crumble.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I dug into my purse, but he waved me off.
“My treat.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t forget to be first.”
I pressed a quick peck to his smooth cheek—so different from Jake’s—and made it to the elevator before I broke.
* * *
Jackson
I waited a couple of minutes before I followed Jake into the restroom. His back was to me as he dried his hands under the hand dryer. After a quick scan, I saw the restroom was empty. Perfect. I walked up behind him and leaned into his ear.
“Jealous?”
He jerked and whipped his head around to look at me. It took only a moment before he registered my meaning.
“No,” he answered, his brows furrowed.
I laughed at his answer. Because I was jealous as hell watching Carina be on his arm all night. The small kisses. Touches. Hand-holding. I wanted all of it. I wanted a relationship, and I wanted it with Jake. Each day ticked by like a clock, counting down to when I couldn’t touch him anymore, and it scared the fuck out of me. I knew I was being a dick, asking for more than what I agreed to, but I couldn’t stop.
Feeling the ache and longing in my chest hurt me through the night. I was in love with him and maybe my anger took hold when I smiled at the guy, when I didn’t immediately pull back when he grabbed my hips. But when I saw Jake’s hurt, I shut it down. I craved to soothe him.
“Liar,” I said, stepping into his space.
“I’m not lying.”
“So you wouldn’t be mad if he came in here to meet me. If he fell to his knees to suck my dick. You wouldn’t be bothered if I pulled my cock out of my pants, so he could show it some attention.” I pressed my whole front to his and let my words caress his cheek. “I bet he’d like a good face-fuck.”
Before I could even process the movement, I was spinning, and my back hit the wall, with an angry man holding me in place with his own body, his scowl inches from my smile. “You better fucking not.”
I feigned confusion. “Why not?”
His hand slid down my body to grip my length—getting harder by the second—roughly, almost too hard, pulling a grunt from me. “Because this is mine.”
“Prove it.” I bit his lip, dragging my teeth across the full bottom one. “Suck me.” A kiss. “It only wants you.” Kiss. “I only want your mouth on me.” Kiss. “Only your throat cradling my head as I come.”
He dove in, crushing my lips, pressing my head back against the exposed brick, biting his way down my throat as his hands fumbled with my buckle. I tried to insert my hands to help him, but he just smacked them away. Once the zipper was down, he yanked my pants down roughly past my ass.
“Mine,” he growled, fisting my cock hard. He dropped to his knees and slid all of me into his mouth. He didn’t tease. He didn’t taunt me, play with me, or build me up. He dropped down and sucked hard on the way back up.
I watched, loving the way his cheeks hollowed out. Loved the way his eyes closed in pleasure as he took me. Loved when he looked up at me with tears in his eyes when I pushed forward and made him choke on me. I gripped his head and held him down on my cock, waiting for him to look up. When he did, tears making his blue eyes that much brighter, I growled, “Yours.”
He popped off with a gasping breath, but quickly slid back on me.
I was so lost in the moment that I almost missed the rattle of the doorknob before it opened. Jake popped off and looked over his shoulder just as Daniel walked in. He took in the scene and one eyebrow slowly slid up, not saying anything.
Jake quickly stood and wiped at his face, dug his hands through his hair and kept muttering “fuck” under his breath. I tried to catch his eyes as I fastened my pants, grimacing trying to stuff my hard cock back in.
Finally, Jake looked up, his eyes wide and panicked. He was going to run. He was going to spew some painful blows and run because he didn’t know how to handle it otherwise.
“Don’t,” I begged on a whisper.
He opened his lips to respond when Daniel asked from his position in front of the urinal. “Where’s Carina?”
Jake cringed, and I wanted to throw something at Daniel’s head.
“Home sick,” Jake managed to croak out.
Daniel just hummed, doing a quick shake before zipping up. “So, are you two…?”
“No,” Jake denied too harshly.
And there it was. I knew it was coming. I understood why, but it still hurt the same. It still hit me like a sucker punch knocking all the air out of me.
“Please don’t do this, Jake. It’s just Daniel. He doesn’t care.”
Daniel didn’t confirm or deny. He just backed out of the room, like his entrance hadn’t caused a massacre in my chest.
“What if it was one of my coworkers?” Jake asked, jerking toward me, his arms wide. “What then?”
“So what?”
“I have a fiancée.”
“Then don’t.” The words were almos
t a shout. I didn’t even know I was going to say them until they erupted from me. Hearing them out loud, I didn’t regret them. They were the truth. A painful truth that made me hate myself a bit for what I was doing to a relationship that wasn’t mine.
“Wh—What?”
I was an asshole to not retract my statement. I was a dick to keep pushing with this crazy wish. I was choosing to have Jake hurt Carina over me, and I pushed that ache aside because I could only focus on one painful knife in the chest at a time.
“Just...maybe,” I stuttered the words. “Maybe don’t have a fiancée. Maybe. . .you have me.”
Jake’s eyes closed, and his body sagged like he could barely find it in him to stand up. “Jackson.”
“Look at us.” I stepped close to him, my arms spreading to indicate the bathroom we just got caught in. “We can’t stop. I don’t want to, Jake. I—” I cut the words off. I love you. “Please.”
He shook his head at the floor before looking up, defeat hanging on him. His eyes filled with tears for a whole other reason I didn’t like. “She’s my fiancée. My friend.”
“I’m—” I swallowed, my voice cracking over the words. “I’m your friend.”
“I…I can’t. I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.” Then he was gone, vanishing through the door faster than I could blink.
24
Jake
I was a chicken shit.
A coward.
I splashed water on my face and leaned on the bathroom counter, staring at the blue eyes in the mirror that used to look familiar. Now, they could’ve belonged to a stranger. Who was this man staring back at me? I looked the same, but my eyes showed the turmoil I was in. My eyes looked different. Sad. Angry. Confused. Lacking confidence. All of them things I didn’t usually see.
Disgusted with myself, I turned away and headed to the bedroom. I needed to go see Daniel at Voyeur and drop off some final files before our job was done.
My heart thundered, wondering if I’d run into Jackson. What would I do? How would it go? Would Carina be able to see everything that had happened written all over our faces? She knew me almost better than I knew myself. Maybe she’d be able to help decipher the stranger I’d become. Did I want her to?