by AR Colbert
There was a playfulness to her smile, but she wasn’t joking.
“Yes, Ms. Frasier.” I gave a small bow before turning to exit. Georgia’s smart mouth wouldn’t be an issue anymore. I suddenly had a much bigger problem on my hands.
—————
Our training ended early that night, and I was surprised to find all five of my roommates waiting for me in the main living area when I got home. They were scattered across the giant couch that wrapped around the room, and Margo stood to greet me as soon as I stepped inside.
“I’m so glad you’re alright!”
She dashed over and wrapped her arms around my neck. I was taken aback by her sudden burst of affection, but looking around the room I knew she wasn’t the only one who was happy to see me. It was odd, walking into such a welcoming homecoming.
“Thanks,” I said. “Of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Edgar’s eyes were alive with worry. “Georgia said we wouldn’t be seeing you again.”
“When she finally came around, of course.” Nita didn’t try to hide her giggle.
“Well here I am!” I sighed. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would be coming back either, but thankfully Emmaline decided to give me a second chance.”
“Emmaline Frasier? The Director?” Nita gaped in my direction.
I nodded and hoped the questioning would stop there. Emmaline hadn’t specifically told me to keep our arrangement a secret, but it seemed safer not to say anything.
“Be careful. If she’s giving you a second chance, it’s only because she expects something from you in return. That’s how The Rattlesnake works.”
“The Rattlesnake?” I asked. Nita wasn’t wrong about Emmaline expecting something from me, but I had no idea what she was talking about with the rattlesnake thing.
“Yep, that’s what they used to call her back home. Mama went to school with Emmaline.” Nita raised her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side as though she’d just revealed a juicy little tidbit for us. It still didn’t make any sense to me.
The others mirrored my look of confusion, so Nita leaned in to explain things a little more clearly.
“Her parents are Workers, like most of ours. She got selected as a Peacemaker at her aptitude test and moved to Noble borough.”
“But Emmaline Frasier is a Leader,” Margo interrupted.
“Exactly!” Nita’s eyes widened in frustration when we still didn’t understand the point she was trying to make. “Emmaline moved from the outer edge to the very Center, and it wasn’t by luck. That woman is ruthless. She blends in well enough to her surroundings, minding her own business, until BAM! She strikes you when you least expect it.”
Edgar jumped at Nita’s shout and looked nervously in my direction. I admired his innocence. In fact, I might have even been a little envious of it.
Margo laughed. “Ohhhh, I get it now. Like a rattlesnake.”
“Yessssssss...” Nita said, turning toward me with her best attempt at a menacing glare. The whole group erupted in laughter.
“I’m not sure how she made the leap from Peacemaker to Leader,” Nita continued. “But I bet a lot of people got bit in the process.”
“Don’t get bitten,” Margo said. There was a smile on her face, but her eyes shone with genuine concern.
“I won’t,” I promised.
After dinner, I was finally able to sneak up to my room for a moment of quiet reflection. I’d heard several different recounts of the events following my exit from the Great Hall. The general consensus was that everyone thought Georgia had it coming. They didn’t know my history, and I don’t think they associated her words with my family, but they all felt her condescension. No one appreciated her efforts to make everyone else look smaller than her.
Edgar knew of course, but rather than filling our housemates in on my father’s dirty past, he simply gave me an understanding smile. I’d never expected to feel as accepted as I was in this house.
Closing the door to my bedroom silently behind me, I lifted the mattress and read Raf’s letter for the hundredth time before sitting down to scribble out my reply. I wanted to tell him everything, but I had to choose my words more carefully now than ever before. Emmaline knew I wasn’t telling her the whole story. What if The Rattlesnake was watching me now? I glanced nervously around the room, before finally bringing my pen to the paper on my desk.
Hey,
I’m so glad to hear your dog is safe. I’ll actually be back in the borough in about a week for a short break in my training. I would love to see him while I’m there.
I’m looking forward to hearing about your education. I’ve got quite a bit to fill you in on as well. See you soon.
I signed it with another cute little rat drawing and tucked it under my mattress until Thursday night. I couldn’t wait to see Cato. Surprisingly, I was almost as excited to see Raf again, too. I just wished the opportunity didn’t come with strings attached.
CHAPTER 17
The 23rd Street station was the bus’s last stop delivering us all back home for the break. The sun hung low in the sky, and familiar structures glowed in the golden light it cast. Morton borough wasn’t as majestic as most of the others we drove through that afternoon, but it was home.
I followed Edgar down the stairs, readjusting my backpack. The weight of the stun gun inside dug into my shoulders, reminding me that this was more than a simple visit. Edgar was greeted on the sidewalk by his mother, who had white handprints smeared across her simple black pants, and a younger girl. The girl was about twelve years old and shared Edgar’s deep-set eyes, but hers sparkled with curiosity.
“You’re Claren Greenwood,” she said, raising her small finger to point in my direction.
Her mother quickly pushed her hand down and turned toward me. “Welcome home, dear,” she said with a kind smile. She did a great job physically hiding her concern behind her sparkling blue eyes. If I hadn’t been an Empath, I would have had no idea what kind of worry laid behind her warm exterior.
She reached out to hand me a small white sack as Edgar stood mortified beside her, staring at his feet. “I had some leftover blueberry muffins at the shop today, and I thought you might enjoy a couple to take home with you.”
“Thank you.” Without Cato’s wage, I had nothing but a few grocery tickets Emmaline gave to me before we left. Thankfully, the city hadn’t reassigned my home yet. I wouldn’t begin receiving my own wage until my training was complete.
She stood silently facing me, radiating compassion until Edgar had finally had enough. He pulled her away, leaving her final thoughts unspoken. “Come on, mom. We better get home before it gets dark. Dad’ll be wondering about us.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. She turned and patted her daughter on the back, urging her to follow. “Enjoy your break, Claren. And please come by if you need anything at all.”
Releasing my breath, I began my long walk back to the empty house I used to call home. I’d never met anyone from Edgar’s family before, but word about Cato had obviously spread throughout our community.
My walk was leisurely. I was in no hurry to get home, and the sun’s final rays disappeared behind the horizon before I stepped up to my front door. Inside I found my home exactly as I’d left it, only dustier. After locking the door, I checked to make sure all the curtains were drawn shut before examining the coat closet.
I could just barely make out the lines in the floor where the secret door lay hidden, and I was disappointed to find no signs that Cato had been back while I was gone. It was probably smart for him to stay away. For all I knew, Officer Patton might have still been hiding in Mr. Reavis’ front window across the street. The thought of someone watching me enter my house sent a shudder down my spine.
This is going to be a long week.
—————
Walking back to the sanitation headquarters two days later stirred up more emotions than I could name. It was a familiar walk, but everything felt different. Cato wasn’t
going to be there to greet me with his goofy grin. There would be no racing back home, or pizza, or stories shared about our days. My heart ached for a past I would never know again.
I approached the main office right as the Workers were finishing their day. I saw a tall black-haired woman exit first, but Raf wasn’t far behind her. His full lips revealed the slightest hint of a grin when he spotted me, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“Hey there,” he said. The woman turned, startled to see me standing near the door. “Lena, this is Claren Greenwood, Cato’s sister.”
The woman’s eyebrows turned up, filling me with the same concern Edgar’s mom had felt the evening before. “Hi Claren, I’m Lena.” She reached out to shake my hand. “I was sorry to hear about your brother. Cato was a good man.”
“Yes he was.” It was painful to speak of him in the past tense, and feeling Lena’s sadness almost threatened to pull me down, too. But Raf remained positive beside her, confirming for me that Cato was still okay.
Once again, I felt as if there was more she wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, she gave a simple smile and squeezed my hand that was still held between hers. “Well you just let us know if there is anything you need. Anything at all. I’m sure everybody here would be happy to help you out if we can. Ain’t that right, Raf?”
“That’s right.” Raf’s eyes glimmered in the evening light, sending butterflies into flight in my belly.
“Well I need to get home and feed the kiddos. You know they’re not gonna feed themselves!” Lena dropped my hand and stepped back. “Take care of yourself, Claren.” She waved and turned toward the corner, hurrying to get home for the evening.
“I’ll try,” I said under my breath.
Raf cocked his head to the side. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m on a break from training. Didn’t you get my—”
“Shh.” Raf grabbed my hand and led me across the street. He was walking toward the pond, and if I hadn’t been so tense I would have been thrilled to share my favorite spot with someone like Raf. Even as he anxiously led me down the street, the strength of his hand around mine put me at ease. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed him after our week of daily lessons before I left.
He didn’t speak again until we reached a clearing in the grass overlooking the rippling water. “Sorry if I scared you.”
“You didn’t scare me.” He released my hand and I was tempted to reach out and hold his again.
“I just know they’ve got Protectors watching the sanitation headquarters, waiting to see if Cato comes back. I don’t think they could’ve heard us, but better safe than sorry, right?”
“Right.”
He lowered himself to the grass, now lush and green from the summer sunshine. I joined him, happy to be gazing out over the water together. We sat for a few minutes, just enjoying the sound of the birds chirping in the trees overhead and the warm breeze that occasionally ruffled our hair.
“So you did get my letter.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“I did.”
“Do you think it will be possible for me to see him this week?”
Raf turned and met my eyes. His look was serene, and I wished I could bottle up the feeling of peace I had in that moment. Raf felt like home, and I didn’t know if it was because he was my only connection to Cato, or if it was just him.
“I think so, but it won’t be until Thursday. He’s... out right now.”
“Out where?”
“He’s just taking care of some things for Frank. Don’t worry. He’s in good company.”
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure exactly what that might look like. Thoughts of Cato running through the Outside with people like Dave and his gun definitely didn’t ease my worry at all.
“Has he been staying with Frank, then?” It was an honest question. I was concerned about my brother. But I also had Emmaline’s voice in the back of my mind on repeat, imploring me to find out who Cato was working with.
Raf’s jaw tensed slightly. “He’s safe. That’s all that matters.”
“You’re right.” I turned back to the water, watching a turtle poke its head through the reflective surface, sending concentric mirror-like waves out in all directions.
As the tension drifted away from us, I gathered up enough courage to ask Raf the other question that had been bouncing through my mind.
“So will I be able to see you again before Thursday? Maybe we can pick up my lessons again after work.” My teeth toyed with the inside of my lower lip, nervous and hopeful he would say yes.
He turned and studied me. His dark eyes were inviting me in, and I wanted to get lost in them, learn more about who he was and burrow deep into the sense of security he brought me. I was safe with Raf. It was the one thing I was certain of. But his brows furrowed and he looked away again.
“I’ve been matched.”
“Oh.”
It was a simple statement—just three words. But it answered my question and said so much more. I’d forgotten that Raf was a couple of years older than me. It made sense that he’d be matched that fall. Everyone in New America received a match the year they turned twenty.
Matches were based on aptitudes and career evaluations, along with basic personality traits. He’d have one year to court his match, and if they agreed that it was not a good fit, they would each receive a new match the following fall. The city would provide up to three potential spouses, but if you were still unable to enter into marriage by your third year of courting, at the age of twenty-three, you would be forced to live alone for the remainder of your life.
The policy was designed with breeding in mind more than individual happiness. Love wasn’t necessary. Marriages were to be partnerships, designed to help each other through life and bear children for the next generation. In theory, each generation of children would be stronger and more skilled than the one before it. We were bred to maximize our strongest aptitudes. It was for the Greater Good of New America. I considered myself lucky for growing up in a home where my mother and father actually loved each other. I hoped I’d find a relationship like that as well.
Raf stared out over the water, not offering any other details. I probably shouldn’t have prodded any further, but I couldn’t keep my curiosity at bay.
“Is she an Empath, too?”
He looked around nervously before shooting me a stern look. “No! And don’t say that aloud again. No one knows about my skill except you.”
“What?!” It was impossible to hide the shock on my face. “No one?”
“Empathy runs in my family, but we’ve been able to keep it a secret from the government. My dad taught me to block when I was very young, so they never picked up on it during my aptitude test.”
“Why would you try to hide it?” I was genuinely curious. If they knew Raf was an Empath they would likely move him into better housing, closer to the Center. He would be safe.
“It’s just better this way. My father had plans—a use for his skills that didn’t involve the government. And I always assumed I could pick up where he left off.”
I flashed back to the first time I saw Raf in the church. He was working for the Outsiders. His dad must have done the same. The thought of working for them instead of Emmaline danced its way into my brain, like a wisp of smoke, before it dissipated. It was too late to go down that road now.
“Where is he now?” I asked.
Raf’s pain was palpable and too familiar. It was the same sharpness that cut through me when I thought of my mom. He’d suffered loss, too.
“He’s gone. They both are.”
I reached out and placed my hand on top of his, allowing the leaves of grass to push up between our fingers. There were no more questions to be asked. I knew enough. And as we sat there, swaying in the warm breeze with the plants that surrounded us, I was struck by how alike we were. Two people from the same cloth, ripped apart by tragedy and thrown into different worlds.
CHAPTER 18
Knock, knock, knock.
A ladybug landed on the metal door just as I pulled my hand down. I watched it crawl slowly toward the roof covering the small stoop on Sela’s front porch, red and black wings still ready to take flight at a moment’s notice. You’re probably going to be a more welcome guest than I am.
I leaned in, listening for any signs of life inside the house. Finally, just as I’d resigned to leave, the door swung open to reveal my best friend’s open mouth.
“Well I certainly didn’t expect to see you here,” she said, turning and walking back into her living room.
She left the door open, so I took that as an invitation to follow her inside. Sela would have had no problem telling me to leave if that’s what she really wanted. And truthfully, she wouldn’t have been out of line to do so.
I left a month before without so much as a goodbye. Last she knew I was selected as a Worker in Morton borough. Of course she would be upset with me lying and leaving so abruptly.
Inside, she kept her back to me. A mix of emotions filled the room—relief, anger, sadness, dejection... and then there was my massive heap of guilt piled on top of all the rest. Sela didn’t do anything lightly. If she was going to invest herself into something or someone, she was going all in. And I’d let her down.
“I’m so sorry.” It was all I could say.
Sela’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “I didn’t know where you were.” Her voice was sharp, walking a fine line between crying and shouting.
“I know. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to say goodbye to anyone. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
She turned to face me again, arms wrapped tightly around her chest. “I heard they were looking for Cato. I went to your house to check on you—to see if you were okay, and you were just... gone. I was worried sick!”
I hung my head. It was hard to see her so upset, and worse knowing that I caused it.
“And then, when word finally got around that you weren’t dead, I find out that you’ve run off to become a Peacemaker?! Why did you lie to me?”