His trunks and that of his wife had been moved into the grand chamber—in fact, two bedchambers linked by a connecting door. Cecily was offered the choice of the other three rooms, and she eventually settled on the Blue Chamber, which was at the far end of the Long Gallery. All the bedchambers had views to the front, with the hills and pastures of Sussex unfolding before them as far as the eye could see. She and Nell gazed at the view alone for a few moments; Tom had returned downstairs to consult with the staff.
‘This is simply delightful!’ Cecily sighed. ‘Oh, Nell, I do hope you will be happy here with your Mr Beresford.’
Nell was smiling. ‘I do believe I shall! Indeed, Cecily,’ she added shyly, ‘I had never known such happiness was possible!’
* * *
The following hours gave Cecily her first opportunity to observe Nell and her husband at close quarters. It did her heart good to see that Tom seemed as besotted with his wife as she was with him. Neither did anything to make Cecily feel uncomfortable—indeed, she knew that Nell was genuinely delighted to have her company—but it was noticeable that, after the ladies retired to the yellow parlour following a delightful dinner, Tom did not wait long before joining them. Some awareness told her that Nell and her husband were eager to retire and so, feigning tiredness, she wished them a good night.
Climbing into bed, and thanking the housemaid who had assisted her, Cecily fleetingly wondered what might be occurring in the marital bedchamber at the other end of the house. She had heard enough of her mother’s frank conversations with her friends to understand that marital duties were not always the painful, awkward necessities that young ladies were sometimes led to believe. Indeed, her mama and the other widows seemed to positively enjoy sharing a bed with a man. They did, she recalled, sometimes hint that not all men were the same—that some were more to be welcomed in the bedchamber than others.
Cecily was woman enough to have felt her heart flutter at a smile from a handsome man, or to notice with interest a young man’s strong physique. She was also girl enough to be still confused about exactly what occurred between men and women. Mama had been little help, merely laughingly telling her to enjoy it when the time came or reminding Cecily of occasions when they had observed animals mating.
Marianne had been a little more helpful, explaining the essence of the physical act with the context of how wonderful it could be when the two people had developed trust between them. This had made sense to Cecily, as she simply could not imagine any maiden enjoying something that seemed as strange and comical as the farmyard matings she had seen.
For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine what it might feel like to go beyond the chaste kisses she had so far experienced as a debutante. A man’s hands on her body. Her hands exploring, touching his skin. His body on hers. Desire sprang to life within her. Her breathing quickening, she allowed herself to become lost in imaginings. Her eyes fluttered closed—only to open wide again as she abruptly realised that her foolish mind was picturing intimacies with none other than Lord Hawkenden!
‘Never!’ she declared aloud, rolling onto her side. For an instant she again allowed herself to remember the feeling she had had when they had looked at each other in Lady Jersey’s drawing room then, dismissing it, she settled down to sleep.
Chapter Nine
‘Good morning, Cecily.’ It was Nell, scurrying into the breakfast room, a sunlit chamber on the eastern side of the ground floor. ‘I have terrible news!’
Cecily looked up from her breakfast plate, fork paused in the air. ‘What has happened? My dear Nell, are you unwell?’ Nell looked and sounded agitated, and her blunt greeting left Cecily struggling to understand why.
Her friend shook her head. ‘Oh, Cecily!’ She slumped into a chair. ‘Lord Hawkenden is to arrive today!’
Cecily’s blood ran cold. ‘What? But I understood he was not to be here?’ She laid down her fork, her appetite abruptly vanishing.
Nell nodded miserably. ‘The staff have just told Tom that he is coming. He is to arrive later today, with two gentlemen. They assumed Tom knew.’
‘But—but this is impossible! We thought we could avoid him here!’
‘I know. Tom says he and his brother disagreed about it, and because he had already made arrangements for us to be here, he never dreamed that Lord Hawkenden’s stubbornness would lead him to come anyway. He also admits it is all his own fault, for Hazledene belongs to the Earl.’ She put her head in her hands. ‘Oh, Lord, what a fix!’
Cecily’s brain was struggling to function. Desperately, her mind sought a solution—one that would allow her to escape the upcoming confrontation. Nothing came to her.
He does not want me here!
She glanced at Nell, seeing real distress in her expression. ‘Oh, Nell!’ Rising from the table, she crossed to Nell and hugged her fiercely. ‘You are married, and there is nothing that man can do about it.’ Her tone dripped with loathing towards him, partly fuelled by her own anxiety. ‘Your husband and his brother will have to work out their differences, so my advice is to keep away from their quarrel and simply allow them to debate in whatever style they choose. If we are to return to London, then we shall do so.’
And if I am forced to return by myself, as if in disgrace, then I shall.
She put a soothing hand on her friend’s arm. ‘Think! The Earl is bringing some friends. That means everyone will have to behave in a sensible way.’
Nell’s shoulders dropped a little. ‘That is true! Oh, Cecily, you must think me a poor creature! I, who have been used to managing Wyatt House since Papa’s death, should be able to meet challenges with fortitude. It is just that...’ She took a breath. ‘I wanted Tom’s brother to be happy for him. And he is not.’
Cecily nodded sympathetically, before returning to her friend’s previous statement. ‘I have no doubt that you will manage, Nell. And I am here to stand with you.’ At least for the present.
Nell gave a weak smile, then visibly gathered herself. ‘My first problem is to work out where they are all to sleep!’ She laughed. ‘I had a similar challenge during Mama’s Christmas house party. That ended with me sleeping in the servants’ quarters!’
‘Oh, I remember that!’ Cecily frowned. ‘And you are right—there are not many bedrooms.’
The door opened, admitting Mr Beresford. He was followed by a footman bringing more hot food. Mr Beresford wished Cecily a good morning, flashed a reassuring smile towards his wife, then went to the sideboard to help himself to breakfast. Nell poured herself some tea.
I must tell them what occurred between me and Lord Hawkenden.
They needed to know that the Earl was unaccountably opposed to friendship between Cecily and Nell. Cecily glanced at the footman, who was now standing impassively by the sideboard.
Not exactly now, though.
‘At what time will your brother arrive?’ Nell asked the question as soon as Mr Beresford had joined them at the table.
‘Around sundown.’ There was a slight frown creasing his forehead. All were supremely conscious that they could not be fully open in front of servants.
Nell set down her cup. ‘You mentioned that he will bring some of his friends, I think? Where is everyone to sleep?’
Tom grinned. ‘I shall arrange everything, my love. You cannot be expected to take on such responsibilities in your first day in Hazledene.’
‘Thank you, Tom, that is quite a relief! Do you know who the Earl’s friends are?’
‘Mr Carmichael and Mr Harting will accompany him.’
‘Oh!’ said Nell. ‘We are acquainted with both gentlemen.’ She sent Cecily a speaking glance.
Mr Harting! That friendly gentleman had shown signs of being interested in Cecily when they had last met at Lady Jersey’s party. Cecily sighed inwardly. Not now! Someday, despite her objections to Mama, she would probably end by marrying someone, and if so, then she would
prefer someone young, healthy and attractive in face and form. Someone she could tolerate in terms of his demeanour. Someone with warmth.
Despite her recent conversation with Mama, Cecily now reflected briefly on the security that a judicious marriage might bring. No more worries about how to pay for a hotel, or which friend they might stay with next. No more anxiety over allowances that were much, much smaller than the time allocated to them. Companionship. Security. Freedom.
Her mind wandered further, away from the practical considerations. Someone who held her hand and looked at her as though she were precious... No. She pushed the thought away, her customary cynicism reasserting itself. Marriage was too big a decision to be taken lightly. Seeing how Nell’s hasty marriage had caused discomfort and concern gave her even more reason to be cautious.
Returning to the sensible considerations of a wise marriage, there was also, she reflected, a further blessing. A married lady could dispense with the need to be chaperoned. As they had discussed in the park only a few days ago, Nell and Cecily had long chafed against the restrictions of their lives as marriageable virgins. Unable to go where they wished. One’s every utterance watched and judged... As a married lady, Nell was already tasting the delights of increased freedom. Cecily, sitting in her friend’s shadow, could not help but be a little envious.
This month in Sussex should have been an opportunity for Cecily to stretch her wings a little, away from her mama’s eye. Instead, she sat in increasing anxiety, knowing that today he would be here, and she would have to face him, and admit to her friend how she had unwittingly inflamed the conflict over Nell’s marriage. She could delay no longer. Today was the day.
Her opportunity came immediately after breakfast. Mr Beresford offered them both a tour of the Long Gallery, where paintings of various Beresford ancestors were hung, and where, he said, he and his brother had used to play as children. ‘Our old nurse was very tolerant and used to take us up here on rainy days,’ Mr Beresford said, ‘for she knew we had a need for havoc!’
As they climbed the stairs, Cecily could not help but try to imagine Lord Hawkenden as a playful child. Impossible. It was beyond her meagre powers. Even as a child she pictured him as glowering, cold...unhappy. She squirmed a little at the thought, reminding herself that she barely knew the man. Besides, imagining the child he had been was not helpful to her peace of mind, so she refused to linger on the thought.
Bracing herself, and checking that no servants were present, she tore her gaze away from the Gainsborough of the Beresford grandparents. ‘There is something I should tell you.’ Both turned to her, with similar enquiring expressions. ‘About my conversation with Lord Hawkenden at Lady Jersey’s soirée.’
Mr Beresford frowned slightly, while Nell put a hand on her arm. ‘Did he upset you, dear Cecily?’
‘Well, he did,’ replied Cecily cautiously, ‘but, then, I also upset him.’
‘What do you mean?’ She now had their full attention.
Briefly, she outlined how it had happened—that the Earl had followed her out on the terrace that night in order to speak to her. ‘I am sorry to say, my dear Nell, that he does not approve of your marriage.’
Nell’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I knew it! I sensed it all along. Did I not say so?’ She turned to her husband, who looked grimly tight-lipped.
Wordlessly, he took his wife’s hand then turned to Cecily. ‘Must we speak of this now, Lady Cecily?’
‘I fear we must. I had not mentioned it before, but now that he is coming, I thought Nell ought to know.’
Mr Beresford shook his head, looking back at his wife. ‘I had hoped to spare you from my brother’s resistance. Unfortunately,’ he added ruefully, ‘as Lady Cecily has highlighted, his insistence on coming here means we cannot evade it.’ He sent Cecily a glance. ‘I still would have preferred to discuss this with Nell myself.’
Cecily nodded. ‘I am sorry for raising it. But—there is more.’ She bit her lip, then gathered her courage. ‘Lord Hawkenden asked me...’ she took a breath ‘...how much it would cost him to remove me from his brother’s life.’
The words shattered like glass into the stillness of the Long Gallery. Mr Beresford was as rigid as a statue, while Nell’s jaw had dropped in horror.
‘But why?’ Nell’s forehead creased. ‘Am I not permitted to choose my own friends? And why should he try to induce you with bribery?’
‘I do not understand it either, Nell. I know that my mama...’ she glanced briefly at Tom, whose face was rigid with what looked like shock ‘...is not always discreet about her affaires, but she is received everywhere. And I myself have never been involved in anything the least bit scandalous! Indeed, my greatest sin, according to Mama, is apparently that I do not flirt enough, and am likely to end an old maid!’
‘Oh, Cecily! How awful for you! How on earth did you answer him? If it had been me, I believe I should have been instantly crushed!’
‘I—er—that is to say, I...’
They waited.
‘I’m afraid I quite lost my temper. I did not quiver and quake and agree with him. I simply refused to discuss the matter with him further, accused him of vulgarity, and left.’
Nell’s eyes grew round. ‘Oh, Cecily, you are so brave!’
‘It was not in the least bit brave, for he should not have said such a thing to me, and I was determined he should know it!’ Her face softened. ‘I am sorry, though, that being my friend will cause trouble for you, my dear Nell. I should not have come here, for I think he will be severely displeased.’
Nell brushed this away. ‘Pshaw! I shall choose my own friends, whatever he may say! He has no right to say who I shall spend time with, and there is no reason in the least for him to find you objectionable! But now I know why you were so ill that night. Oh, Cecily, once again you have become embroiled in my affairs, and have acted as my protector.’
‘You are my best friend, Nell,’ she replied gruffly. ‘I should like to maintain our friendship, but I am prepared to give way if he makes life difficult for you.’
There was a silence. Summoning all her courage, Cecily glanced at Tom, who had remained silent throughout. Nell also looked his way.
‘Let me be clear, Lady Cecily,’ he managed, his jaw tight with some unexpressed emotion. ‘My brother actually accosted you angrily, asking you to remove yourself from Nell’s life?’
‘Well...to be accurate, he wishes me to be removed from your life, which in the end is the same thing.’
‘Outrageous.’ He shook his head. ‘And you declined to agree to his abominable demand, and instead you walked away?’
‘Er—I suppose I did. I was, in fact, rather rude to not engage with him. Oh, dear!’
‘But you are astonishing! And it is not rude to walk away from someone who is being insulting towards you.’
Cecily was astounded to see laughter lurking in his eyes. As they watched, it spilled out into a hearty—and infectious—guffaw. Helplessly, and knowing it was vaguely inappropriate, they all ended up laughing together, Cecily’s mirth strongly tinged with relief.
‘Lady Cecily, you are a treasure!’ he declared, when he had himself under control. ‘I remember how cross you were with me at Christmas, when my foolishness ended up distressing my darling Nell. I must declare I was glad then that Nell had such a friend, and I am glad now that you challenged my stubborn brother so! Even now, he will be suffering the agonies of trying to plan how he can rescue us from whatever imagined objection he has to your friendship with Nell!’
‘I hope you know that I did not intend to—’
‘Oh, I understand exactly how it came about, never fear, and I applaud your ability to withstand him. My brother can be most ferocious!’ He bowed. ‘Brava, Lady Cecily!’
Cecily wiped away a tear, unclear if it originated in merriment or relief. ‘Well,’ she declared, ‘he certainly was on that occas
ion. I do regret that my walking away, and my words, may have inflamed his anger, Mr Beresford. And I do not wish to be unkind by laughing at his discomfiture.’
‘It is not in the least unkind, for he is the one being unreasonable here. Never fear, he will see what a good friend you are to Nell—and I hope that he will, like me, appreciate such a friendship.’ He grinned again. ‘You should call me Tom. After all, I do believe I have gained a sister this day!’
Nell clapped her hands at this, while Cecily smiled and gave a nod of the head. ‘Very well. And you should call me Cecily. I have not had a brother before. It will be a novel experience.’ Indeed, something within her warmed at the very idea. A brother...
He spoke again. ‘There is something else. Ladies, I think you have both made my brother something of an ogre in your imaginations. Am I correct—particularly after his disgraceful attack on you, Cecily?’
They confessed that it was. Cecily certainly had a monstrous notion of him, interlaced with a dark pull of attraction.
‘Then let me tell you that he is—despite the stubbornness, and the occasional arrogance, and his belief that everything, in the end, is about money—the best of brothers. I had hoped he would be more understanding about my marriage, and I am more than angry about how he has been behaving, but I believe he will come round in time. Nell, he cannot fail to love you! And, Cecily, there can be no objection to your friendship with me and Nell! Just let us allow him the chance to know you both better.’
‘He may insist that I leave, which removes any such opportunity,’ Cecily pointed out.
‘Yes, and what of his bringing guests when he knew you were already planning to be here?’ Nell’s chin was raised, her eyes flashing.
‘Ah.’ Tom nodded grimly. ‘He and I occasionally play out battles of stubbornness, I must admit. I am angry with him for many reasons today, and I must ask you both to excuse my part in this. Hazledene is his, so I should have given way.’ Laughter twinkled in his eyes. ‘But I cannot let him win, for he is behaving outrageously!’
Captivating the Cynical Earl Page 7