Merissa’s tummy rumbled, and she glanced at the time on her cell phone. It was past one. The Word had been feeding her soul all morning but her stomach needed the kind the buffet offered. She stood and stretched. Dropping her phone in the handbag, Merissa headed for the stairs. Exercise for the legs was long overdue. On the eleventh floor, she headed for the buffet. A few white fluffy clouds scattered across the sky, but it did not appear to bother the loungers as she passed through the pool area.
The salad bar called her name and the woman behind the counter tossed romaine lettuce and eight other vegetable choices into a huge bowl then added strawberry vinaigrette to dress it. Merissa chose a roll and felt satisfied with her healthy choices. The male server brought her lemonade, and she downed the meal with new zest. She even dared to surmise that between this scrumptious meal and the revelations from the gospels, she was on the mend. The memory of Chad’s kiss had become a goal worth pursuing. She did not want to remain in this solitary state any longer. If she were the superstitious type she might even claim that Kyle’s ghost was pushing her to see this through to the end – once and for all.
Merissa remained low key all day, and no one bothered her. Everyone must have agreed, for both Amy and Skip side-stepped her and according to the few times she’d passed through the quiet area on one of her unchartered wanderings, Chad’s head was either buried in the computer screen or scribbling on a large sketch pad. Maybe he was catching up on work.
While the guests gathered in the formal dining room to try more great dishes, Merissa chose not to go that evening. If she saw a blackbird or anything that came close to the creature on her plate, she’d surely vomit. She settled for a hamburger and fries from the poolside pub and retired early.
Day Five of the cruise, before the sun peeked over the horizon, Merissa awoke with a jolt and felt the pull to return to that same rail where she’d shared the kiss with Chad. This was the spot she needed to end this torture for all of them. The first face that came into her mind upon awakening was Chads – not Kyle. She took that as a positive sign. Getting dressed in the tiny bathroom was an achievement worth celebrating, but not nearly as important as the one that urged her forward. No one moved in the hallway when she crept from her room, silent, so not to disturb Amy, if that were anywhere near a possibility. That girl would sleep through a twister.
The ship hummed while most of its passengers slept. Merissa walked with purpose toward her destination at the stern of the ship. She ran her hand along the rail and stopped at the exact spot where she’d stood with Chad. This was it. She hoped she had the courage to see it through.
Merissa slid the diamond off her finger where she’d worn it on her right hand for nearly a year. One last time she placed the engagement ring on her left ring finger. She twirled it and smiled. It was loose. She’d lost weight since Kyle’s death. In its reflection, she saw all the dreams they’d shared and even conjured up the face of her deceased fiancé. Merissa chuckled when her imagination seemed to include one of Kyle’s mischievous winks. He was always up to something when he looked at her that way. She envisioned a brief nod and witnessed him backing out of the picture in her mind. It faded, and then he was gone. She shook her head to clear the fog and looked up. Strange how the mind works when one’s focus directed toward a sole purpose. Saying goodbye. And now Kyle had made the first move. Her closure was a breath away, and all she had to do was say the words and leave.
A ball of yellow appeared on the horizon, spreading beautiful colors of warm reds and gold from each side. They reached outward like rays of hope into the open sky. A new day was dawning, and it was hers to claim. As sure as Merissa stood there, she knew God and Kyle had brought her to this moment in time. She removed the ring and forced a lingering tear back inside. Never should it spill upon this moment of freedom. Ending a relationship on a pre-planned honeymoon was not what either of them had imagined but life had taken them down a dark road.
Merissa debated throwing the diamond into the sea like she’d seen the old woman do with the precious gem on the remake of the Titanic movie. She’d lost her man at sea and had never forgotten her first love, even though she’d married and led a good life without him. Today, Merissa felt sure it would be the same for her. Another man would enter her world and sweep her away but never the same as the first. She’d changed in one year and survived innocence, death, and now life. But love would prevail – a deeply committed love with… she dared to think of Chad. Could he be the one, handpicked by Kyle himself? She recalled the wink and smiled. Absurd! Yet she was eager to believe it could be so, and suddenly she felt no fear or condemnation in exploring this new direction.
Merissa kissed the ring and held her face to the sky. “Goodbye, Kyle, my love. Rest in peace, for all is well on the home front.”
When she opened her eyes, the sun had risen, and she basked in the warmth. She felt compelled to move, not to linger in the past any longer. She put the ring in her small zippered purse and threw it in the bag. Someday she would know what to do with it, but until then it would remain a memory of what could have been, but was not.
Merissa walked onto the sundeck. Towels lined the chairs, placed there by early morning bathers who wanted to save a chair. Even though the deck rules discouraged the practice, sunbathers did it anyway. She sat on the cement casing that surrounded the pool and dangled her feet in the water. It felt good to be alive.
“Is this seat taken?” Amy asked.
Merissa patted the cement beside her. “Saved it just for you.”
“Liar.” Amy plunked her bottom next to Merissa and eased her toes into the water. “Feels good, even at this ungodly hour in the morning.”
“Sorry if I woke you,” said Merissa.
“You know better than that. So happens I didn’t sleep well and was already awake when you snuck away.”
“Oh, are you feeling okay? No seasickness, I hope?”
“I’m fine. I was worried about my friend.”
“You have always been there for me, Amy, even when you should have thrown up your hands and left me stranded on my desert island.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Amy said nudging her arm against mine.
“Well, I am pleased to report your mission has ended at long last. I said goodbye to Kyle this morning – almost tossed the engagement ring overboard.”
“You did not!” Amy looked horrified.
Merissa laughed. “I did not. But I felt Kyle as close as if he stood next to me on the deck. It was a strange, but freeing experience.”
“Closure, finally!” She clutched the edge of the cement then groaned, concentrating on her baby finger. “Look now – I’ve broken a nail in all the excitement.”
“Consider it your last sacrifice spent on me. You should go back to bed and dream sweet dreams. We have eight more days of fun and frolic before we head back to the daily grind.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” She yawned. “But I think you’re right. I need to get more zees if I’m to function all day.” She started to stand up and Merissa reached for her arm.
“Thanks for giving me my space yesterday. Did you enjoy your shore excursion?”
“Sure. Skip and I laid in the white sand on the beach and swam with all those horrible fishes that kept popping up all around us.” Amy stood and stretched. “Chad chose to stay on board and moped all day. I think he likes to draw. I saw one of his pictures before he slammed shut the sketch book.”
“I noticed him in the quiet room a few times, but he didn’t bother me yesterday either.”
“We all figured you needed some space. But today was another story. I’d have dragged you out by your hair if you’d continued moping.”
“Now I have three friends on board. I appreciate that,” said Merissa.
“Given encouragement, I believe Chad would like to be more than a friend. He draws beautiful portraits of you.”
“Of me? Surely there are better things to sketch.”
“I don�
�t know. Just telling it as I see it. Good night. See you at lunch.”
Merissa debated breakfast in the dining room alone or the buffet. The chances of running into Chad were possible with either decision. She full knew that the meeting would happen, but felt nervous and giddy about it, like a love-struck schoolgirl. She chose the buffet. Whatever happened, she’d face it, eventually.
Five Gold Rings
They decorated the room with gold rings – some hanging alone and others bound as a twosome or in loops of fives. The serviettes were a rich yellow hue and sprinkles of gold dust littered the linens around the food dishes in the buffet. Merissa filled her crepe with fruit and rolled it closed then covered it with a yummy whipped topping and drizzled juice from the strawberries over the entire mound. Nothing gold on the menu this morning, that would have carried the theme too far. But she noticed most serving plates on the buffet displayed circles. She laughed at the coincidence of rings, rather an interesting parallel to her decision this morning about putting away her engagement ring forever. She was definitely on the right track, and it felt refreshing. She wondered what the five golden rings symbolized and unconsciously scanned the room for Chad. He’d know.
Merissa’s eyes rested on the man sitting by himself at a window seat. He was deep in thought as he sipped his coffee. His appearance was tidy as always, not overly dressed and never understated. Just perfect. His sandy hair was neatly combed, not short and stubby or long and unruly; Perfect again. His style reflected his strength of character and calm assurance. Today the sun reflected in his eyes and as he caught her staring at him from across the room, they flickered. He motioned with his hand to the vacant chair across from him, and when Merissa moved toward him, he stood to his feet to greet her.
He pulled out the chair, and she sat. “Thank you, sir.”
“Good morning, Merissa. Has anyone told you yet today how gorgeous you are?”
“Always the sass,” Merissa said laughing. “I’m glad to see you are not angry with me – for my disappearing act on the deck.”
“Me angry? I have no right to feel that way even if I wanted to. I pushed you too far. If I’d known…”
“That you were chasing a woman on her honeymoon?”
“Honestly, I didn’t know that part of your story. I would have let you take the lead. I value our new friendship far too much to overstep my boundaries.”
“You, Chad Livingston, are a generous man. On vacation and determined to remain stuck with me must feel like you’re sinking with an anchor tied to your neck.”
“At times. But, it is my fate of choice.” Chad’s eyes pierced hers.
Merissa swallowed hard and met his challenge. “I said goodbye to Kyle this morning. On the stern, in the same spot you kissed me. How bizarre is that?”
“Wonderfully bizarre,” said Chad, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “I also see the ring is missing. Was it a painful goodbye?”
“It was a long time coming, and I felt the sting of Kyle’s chastisement for taking so long. Did you know you possess the same mischievous twinkle that he had? Am I destined to know men who love to tease?”
“I hope so.”
“Thank you for being my friend these past days. I have enjoyed your company, even if my actions say the contrary.”
“And you know what today is, right?” Chad asked.
“Yes,” Merissa drew out the words as in the song’s phrase, “five golden rings.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Another bizarre coincidence in my morning adventure. But I was hoping you had the rundown on its symbolism. The whole pause in the melody is rather dramatic don’t you think?”
“Well, I hope you like the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament, because that’s what this line represents.” Chad looked at her surprised expression. “Yeah – I was rather disappointed myself.”
“Surely there’s more,” Merissa pleaded. “Moses was great, but I was expecting something more...”
“Romantic?” Chad leaned across the table and grinned openly. “Well, you are in luck. There is more. Rings also symbolize eternity.”
“I beg to differ there.”
“I thought you might, considering the one you just took off your finger. But a ring has no stopping or starting spot. It just twirls round and round. You know that Kyle is in heaven, right? And someday you will be there, as well. So, the engagement ring he gave you is eternal – just whirling in space until you meet again.”
“Now that puts a nice romantic touch of the whole goodbye scene.”
“Our goodbyes in this life are only temporary,” said Chad.
“You should have been a preacher.”
“It’s difficult enough dealing with hard-headed business people who don’t know better. I’d lose it if I had to deal with an entire congregation that should know better.”
“Ouch!” Merissa definitely should have known better. She recalled Amy’s earlier remarks. “But I hear you have an artistic side.”
“Oh? And who betrayed that tidbit of knowledge?”
“Amy said she caught a quick peek before you closed your sketch pad. She thinks you are talented, but your choice of material was a little questionable.”
“She said that?”
“No, I’m teasing. Not about your talent, but why on earth would you draw portraits of me?”
“Why not? You are an interesting model,” said Chad.
“Is that what I am?”
“Definitely not all that you are, but this time I’m throwing compliments out slower. Don’t want to frighten my inspiration away.”
“Don’t walk on eggshells with me, Chad. Just be yourself,” Merissa said. She was tired of people pitter-pattering around her to spare her feelings. She was tougher than that and she’d prove it.
“Duly noted, Miss James.”
Chad took her hands in his. “So, are you ready to pick up where we left off?”
“Whatever happened to, slow?” Merissa asked.
“You wanted me to be upfront, and the answer to that particular question is burning a hole in my heart,” said Chad.
“All I can say is I’m starting fresh today and open to see where that leads me. I do like you, Chad Livingston.”
“And I double-do, like you, Merissa James.”
“So, what’s on the calendar today?” Merissa asked.
“I might attend a class where they teach you how to fold all those towels to create animals like the ones the stewards leave on our beds every night.”
“Desperate for recreation, I see,” Merissa teased.
“Hey, why not? I didn’t know you would be the feature of my day when I decided to go.”
“I hear there are shirts on sale this morning, and then a run or walk, on the top deck to help raise money to fight cancer,” said Merissa.
“I’m in for that. As soon as you’re finished eating your cold breakfast, we’ll head over and sign up.”
“Crepes are fine cold. And us talking was more important than food, anyway.”
“Agreed.” Chad leaned over and picked a loose strawberry off her plate. She slapped his fingers. “Guess I’ll head over there and let them stir me up a mess like that. A fruity dessert sounds good about now.”
“Yes, go. I’ll be here when you get back.”
“I’m counting on it, Merissa. My day is looking a lot brighter since you sat down.”
They spent the morning at sea deciphering lame paper instructions, overlooked by the far-too-busy demonstrator who struggled to teach a large group how to create creatures from white bath, hand and face cloths. At the end of the class, Chad purchased the hardcover book, for future attempts, leaving the room somewhat humiliated with their lack of skills in accomplishing the creative work of art.
The cancer walk was another story. That was their place of comfort and the need to find a cure for this horrific disease spurred them on. Each disappeared behind bathroom doors and came out donning new t-shirts, labeled Running for Cancer.
&
nbsp; “You are looking more like yourself, dear lady,” Chad said.
“And you are bulging out of that shirt. You should have purchased a large to hold in those muscles.”
Chad beamed. “Ah, hah. So you like my muscles?”
Merissa slapped him but he ducked and she missed the mark. “I’m not feeding your ego today. Let’s get this run started.”
“Walk, remember?” said Chad.
“The shirt says run,” she teased.
“But you said...”
“Oh, stop whining. We can walk – fast,” Merissa said as they headed for the stairs. “I’m not sure I like this side of you, Mr. Livingston.” He groped for her and she slipped out of his reach, darting up the stairs two at a time.
“I see where this is headed. Missing the whole competition thing, are you?” Chad shouted from behind.
Merissa agreed. Yes, she missed the challenge of measuring her stamina against someone else. The rivalry forced her to achieve the best results possible. She felt relief when her thoughts did not automatically gravitate to Kyle. For today, she wanted nothing more than to beat this man, Chad, around the track.
And she did. The first time, a quarter of a lap, and then again, renewed with new energy at the sight of that determined set of his jaw, she finished a half lap ahead. She laughed and slowed to a walk to enable him to catch up. He was a good sport, and she liked that about him. For an hour, they did an easy jog and fast walk combination until the sweat dripped from their faces.
“I think we’d win the wet t-shirt contest, if there was one,” Merissa said.
“I give up. You’re the winner,” said Chad.
“A quick shower and change into our bathing suits? You up for some pool time?” Merissa asked.
“Lead the way.”
Later, after sufficient rest on the loungers, the atmosphere in the place heightened and squeals of delight filled the air. Merissa looked toward the stage area. “Will you look at that?”
“You mean the four men dressed in striking suits of yellow-gold? They’re picking up instruments, preparing to waken all the sleepy sunbathers?”
Christmas Cruise in July Page 6