by Neely Dobbs
CHAPTER 31: Coalition
Briin turned over for the tenth time and absently rearranged his tangled bedding. His focus was elsewhere. Had he detected excitement in Eebri's voice? Had there been any trace of desire— desire for him? He thought there was, hoped there was. He turned over yet another time.
What did she mean by telling me, “one of those might be possible”? And, which one? Why not both? Could I do something about it right now?
No…it's too late. The moment has passed. And she’s sure to be asleep by now. If I disturb her, it had better be an emergency of the worst sort, or I’d be in real trouble.
The image of her smiling face swam in his mind's eye, and quickly blossomed into a full figure view. And what a figure! It’s no wonder I have trouble concentrating on matters of state whenever she's near.
Matters of state! These events involving “matters of state” are playing havoc not only with my professional life but with my personal life as well! How could I consider approaching Eebri on a personal basis when my professional life is in such turmoil? The last thing I’d want is to secure her affections because she feels sorry for me. But what if she thinks I’m just using my professional dilemma as an excuse for not advancing my suit with her? I know I’ve never really fooled her about how I feel. We've exchanged some bantering small talk— the kind which could go either way— but deep down, I know she knows!
He turned over yet again. The memory of a fleeting kiss brushed his cheek. No position is comfortable when the bed you are on has nothing to do with your discomfort!
Since nothing else productive occurred to him, he disgustedly threw off the covers, stalked into his personal fresher and splashed water on his face. He knew before going it wouldn't help, and it didn't. He was teetering on a knife edge of indecision: to go quietly back to bed…or to burst into Eebri's room, pour out his heart and brace for her response. But deep within him, quiet counsel firmly advised that he go back to bed and pursue their relationship on another day.
Moving to the game board on the shelf, he attempted to distract himself for a few minutes, sighed and returned reluctantly to his bed. He tried to drift off. It was hopeless. He tried again to concentrate on “affairs of state” instead of affairs of the heart.
The Regents have refused to contact the inhabitants of any captured system. To what purpose? Do they imagine the aliens' technology is so backward that they still have no inkling of the Coalition's existence? Have the refugees taken their cue from the Coalition's lack of contact and become fearful to initiate contact themselves? Thus far the loss of their stargates during the transitions has prevented them from resuming inter-stellar travel, but our “guests” can't be expected to remain dormant indefinitely. This isolationist policy cannot be maintained forever... whoever initiates the contact.
Frustrated again by unanswerable questions on the issue of the captured systems, he prepared to turn his attention elsewhere with a final, heartfelt thought : The only thing I’m sure of is that I sincerely hope no further harm comes to their people.
He concentrated again, forcing himself to refocus.
Are the men lost at Eidolon really dead? The presence of an atmosphere within that strange opening offers some hope that they haven’t perished for lack of air but, Briin sadly conceded, they surely must have starved to death by this time.
He tried to put it out of his mind, and his focus strayed. In spite of the gravity of his previous musings, Eebri’s lovely form wriggled its way into his thoughts yet again. She was in his arms; she quivered against him and his own body echoed it as he pressed his lips to hers…
He sighed out loud.
Enough is enough! If I don't tell Eebri how I feel, I'll go crazy. I may not do it tomorrow, but I'll do it soon. If she rejects me…well, then, so be it. But this indecision is making me less effective in my work and driving me mad! I can’t tolerate it any longer!
He gave up fighting his troubled thoughts and decided to get up. It's 0815 hours anyway.
Heading for the fresher, another breath-taking view of Eebri troubled his mind.