And if she finds out we all helped him, then we'll be on her death list too. At least the three of us are actually guilty of a crime. Sonia and the others aren't, but they'll be guilty by nothing more than association.
"I'm sorry," Benedict blurts.
I glance up, my braid whipping back as a result. "For what?" I ask a little more sharply than I mean to. He's taken me off guard with the start of an apology, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
"For making judgments about what you had to do to survive. I know it can't have been easy..."
"It wasn't," I agree. "But I've come through it stronger," I point out.
"And now you're in a position to help people," he says, echoing my thoughts.
I lean back in my chair, studying the serious expression on his face.
"Yes. And that's what I have been doing. I know that you might not see it that way. Especially if you haven't seen how the brothels work behind the scenes. I don't think the human ones are as bad, but the vampire ones..." I shiver as I think back over the mistreatment I've seen and been subjected to myself.
Benedict reaches out and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "Why don't you tell me? I won't admit to completely understanding why this means so much to you."
I nod and get to my feet. If I'm going to tell him about my past, then I need to have a drink in hand.
"Would you like some brandy?" I ask as I make my way over to the small cabinet in the corner of my room.
"Only if it's the good stuff."
I snort. "Do you really think I have the cheap stuff anywhere near the Black Fan?"
"It doesn't seem likely. But then, you owning an upscale brothel wouldn't have been on my list of expectations either," he quips.
I roll my eyes as I pull out two glasses and pour some of the dark amber liquid into each. I'm generous with my measures. This is going to be an awkward conversation for both of us.
"I can't say it's where I saw my life heading either," I admit. "Even once I'd bought my freedom, it wasn't the first thing on my mind. But after a few months of trying to work out what to do with myself, I realised I didn't want to leave. I had too much to prove. And I wanted to change things. To make sure that other vampires who were thrown out of their families like I was didn't fall into the same traps."
"It happens a lot less now," he says.
"And yet, there are more whores than ever before," I mutter darkly.
"Is that what I should call them?" The uncertainty in his voice reminds me of how new he is to this world. He hasn't had the same introduction to it as I had.
"No." I hand him one of the brandy glasses, our hands brushing against one another as he takes it. "You should call us courtesans. Especially those at the same level as the Black Fan."
"Because of the higher standard of service?" He raises an eyebrow.
I ruffle my skirts and take a seat, glad I've changed into a simpler dress than I usually wear. It makes the conversation seem a little more intimate, even if it's far from relaxing.
A sad smile stretches over my face. "Because it makes us feel better. Some people choose this profession and love it, and you should call them whatever they ask to be called. But that isn't the case for everyone. There are a lot of people like me around. Their lives were ripped away from them and they turned to one of the only ways they could to keep the food and blood on the table."
"I'm sorry, Catherine," he whispers.
"For what?" I echo my earlier question.
He shrugs. "For all of it. That you had to go through it in the first place. That I was the one who put you in that position..."
"We were both to blame for what happened," I say softly. "We were young and in love. It was reckless and stupid, and Father had said we couldn't get married. We did what countless young couples do. The only difference is that we got caught." I take a sip of my brandy, enjoying the sweet taste and slight burn of the alcohol.
He snorts. "That was a morning to remember."
"It certainly was," I mutter darkly.
"I never forgot about you," he says. "I always looked for you."
"Carving me love spoons every year?" Even though we haven't covered everything we need to about the past, I can sense myself beginning to soften.
"I made the first one before you were thrown out of the den. I didn't even realise I was whittling the second one until I'd done it. After that, I just kept doing it. Each year, I'd sit down and think about how much I love you while I made it."
"Me? Or the idea of me? Do we still know one another after five hundred years apart?" Pain lances through me at the thought of being without him. My love for him has changed over the years. There's no denying that. But it's never faded completely.
"You. I've never stopped loving you. And I never will. Perhaps I need to learn how to love you differently, but it doesn't change how I feel."
I close my eyes, letting his words wash over me.
"I love you too," I admit.
"Then we can work through anything, Catherine." He reaches out and retakes my hand.
"Thank you."
We sit in silence for a few moments, each of us lost in our thoughts of a different future than the one we feared.
"What will happen to Mills?" he asks after a moment.
I sigh, and take another sip of brandy. "He's doomed," I admit softly. "He'll be fine through today, but after that, he won't be. The Mayor doesn't allow people she wants dead to live. He'll be hunted down until he's stone-cold or burnt to a crisp. I'm not sure either is an end he or Maddy deserve."
"Ah." Benedict leans back in his seat, a thoughtful expression on his face. "What if I said I could help," he says.
I perk up. "In what way?"
"I know people who should be able to get people out of the city. At the moment, they mostly deal in luxury goods, getting them in without the patrols noticing. But they could do it with people."
Hope for the couple in the other room blooms within me. "Do you think that's possible?"
"I don't see why it wouldn't be. The only problem is that it'll take money. Lots of it."
A smile twists over my features, more smug than sad this time. "That's where we're in luck. I have plenty of that."
"Do I want to know how?"
I wave my hand around. "I run a successful business. That's how. The costs on this place are minimal. One of the advantages of doing what we do with the elite of the city. Many important people give us donations as well as their fees." At first, I'd been uncomfortable with it. But over time, it merely became another income stream.
"Would you consider leaving yourself?" he asks.
"Not while there are innocent people trapped here," I answer instantly. I can't leave anyone behind. No one could make me.
"That almost sounds like you want to start something," he observes. "But whatever it is, I'll support you. Even if it means staying in this awful city. But Catherine, you have to promise me something?"
The earnestness in his eyes is impossible to ignore.
"Anything I can."
"If you think someone's caught on to what you're doing, at any point, then you have to get out. Please? Promise me."
I nod. "I promise."
Relief washes over his face. And I feel a new sense of ease settle within me. Together, we can make a difference.
I no longer have to sit back and watch people suffer. I can do something about it. And Benedict will be standing by my side the whole time.
Chapter Fourteen
I can't believe I'm about to do this. I may have thought about helping people get out of the city many many times since the wall went up nearly thirty years ago, but I've never done anything about it.
But I can't stand the idea of watching Maddy go through heartbreak. She's a strong woman, and isn't the kind to let the world beat her down. But Mills dying? I think that could break her completely.
And I'm not about to let that happen.
"Are you sure you're all right with this?" Maddy asks, as if sensi
ng I'm thinking about her.
"Of course." I flash her a reassuring smile, hoping it does the trick.
"But you'll be losing a member of staff..." she starts to protest, though it's obvious from her expression that she doesn't want me to say it's a problem. She's looking for a way to make herself feel as if this isn't her abandoning the rest of us.
I reach out and press a gentle hand against her arm. "I care about you, not having one more person here. Besides, if you're worrying about Mills making his way out into the world, then you won't be any good here."
Maddy chuckles. "Is it bad that last part is the most reassuring?"
"No," I admit. "I'd feel the same."
"Of course you would. You wouldn't leave people unless you had to. I feel like I'm running away," she admits softly.
"Sometimes, running away is the best thing you can do," I assure her. "If the two of you stay, then you'll both wind up dead." It's blunt, but she needs to know that what she's doing is the right thing. Perhaps it's selfish, but everyone deserves a chance at life.
Maddy bites her bottom lip, one of her fangs having popped out. "I don't know what to do in the outside world," she admits. "I've always lived here."
My heart breaks for her. It's hard enough living here when I've known something else. I can't imagine never having experienced freedom from the same city.
"Catherine, we're ready," Benedict calls through the doorway.
I nod, even though he can't see it. "Have you got everything you want to take with you?" I ask Maddy.
"I think so." She picks up a small pack and hoists it onto her shoulder. There doesn't seem to be much in it, and a small part of me wants to ask what's inside, but it isn't good to pry. I have to respect her privacy, even if I'm not likely to ever see her again.
"Good. Then we'd better get going. We only have an hour until dawn, and every minute counts." I wish we didn't have to leave at such a dangerous time. If we get this wrong, all of us could end up burned by the sun, and that won't help anyone.
Maddy nods. "Is Dominic..."
"He's waiting downstairs," I assure her. "We'll get you both out."
"Thank you," she whispers.
I smile, but don't say anything else. I turn and hurry down to the bottom floor and out of the side door of the Black Fan, with Maddy following behind. We don't run into anyone else, which is part of the plan. If this goes badly, none of my other staff members will know anything. Though I doubt that will help them if we're arrested, only if we don't come back.
"Keep your heads down," I instruct as the four of us hurry away from the brothel and head towards the wall.
My heart pounds along with my heels on the pavement. But there's also a sense of peace resonating through my whole body. I finally feel as if everything is slipping into place. There's still plenty for me and Benedict to work out, but we're finally on our way to doing that. And he's proving that by helping with this part of the getting Mills and Maddy out of the city. Bribing some of the patrol guards is a dangerous thing to do at the best of times, even more so when it's the Mayor's second in command we're trying to sneak out.
Birdsong grows louder the closer we get to the wall. I glance up at the sky, concern building within me as I notice it's getting lighter already. A sense of dread fills me. We can't possibly make it before dawn. I can't see how it's going to be possible. We have to get the two of them out through the wall, and then get back to the Black Fan before the sun is up. With Benedict not knowing many people in the city, and my position here, I don't like our chances of finding somewhere safe to wait out the day.
"Through here," Benedict calls and gestures to a small hole in the wall.
My eyes widen. Is that really it? Somehow, I expect something bigger. I'm not sure what we've paid so much money to the patrol for if this is all we have to slip through, but I trust Benedict, and that's all I need to know. If we do this again, then I'll ask.
Maddy and Mills both disappear into the small tunnel. I follow, ducking down to stop my head from scraping across the top of the tunnel. While I'm glad I'm not wearing one of my everyday dresses for this, I feel strange not having the large skirts and tight bodice around me. But I can't wear anything like that while doing this. Not only would the dress be clunky in the tight spaces I'm in now, but the dirt could ruin it. And they make me more memorable. Most vampires stick to the kind of styles they preferred when they were raised, but most only take a couple of elements through their wardrobe. In certain circles of the city, I'm known for what I wear, which makes my outfit a liability while out doing something illegal.
"Just a little further," Benedict promises, his voice echoing around the tunnel.
None of us says anything else, and the only sounds are our ragged breaths and the sharp tap of our shoes against the stone floor.
What feels like an eternity, and only moments later at the same time, we step back out into the cool air. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, realising for the first time in nearly thirty years that I'm breathing air from outside the city. It doesn't smell any different, but it feels it.
There's no way Maddy and Mills can be the only people I ever get to this side. I have more to give. More people to save. I'm sure of it.
"Stay close to the walls," Benedict instructs. "If you hear anyone approaching, flatten yourself against the wall and don't move a muscle."
"Will that help?" Mills asks.
"I don't know," Benedict answers honestly, perhaps too honestly. "This is the first time I've done this."
Mills laughs nervously. "I guess I'm dead if I stay anyway."
Maddy stiffens beside me, perhaps because she's realising what's at stake.
"The van is waiting just ahead. You'll have to crawl under the blankets and stay there until you arrive at the other end," Benedict whispers. "We haven't managed to get a blackout van."
My stomach drops. It's so dangerous for them on this side. But Mills is right. If he doesn't do this, then he's going to die regardless. And from what I've seen of Maddy over the past few weeks, I doubt she'll survive long without him either.
Just as promised, a black van sits a few feet away. We approach quickly, not sparing a moment. This is one of the riskiest parts of our already incredibly risky plan, we can't afford to spend any more time on it than possible.
"Thank you," Maddy whispers as she climbs in. She reaches out to touch my hand.
I take hers, and give it a reassuring squeeze. "Promise me you'll make the most of your second chance," I whisper, a single tear rolling down my cheek.
"I will."
I nod and step back so Benedict can close the doors. He steps back and pulls me into his arms.
"It's going to be all right," he promises, then drops a soft kiss against the top of my head.
"You don't know that."
The screech of tyres as the van pulls away makes me jump.
"We've got them out," he says, gesturing to the now retreating van.
"But the biggest challenge remains," I counter.
"Do you mean getting more people out? I'm sure our process can do with some refining, but we can use the same basis..."
I chuckle. "Not that. I mean that we've got to get back in."
"Ah. That. You used to like a challenge," he points out.
"One that wouldn't get me killed if it went wrong," I mutter.
"It won't go wrong," he promises.
Hmm. I'm not sure I believe him. But what other choice do I have? If I dwell on the idea of us getting caught as we make our way back into the city, then that's what's going to happen.
I give the retreating van one last look, though it's far enough away now that it's hard to spot.
"Let's get going, then," I say.
Benedict slips a hand into mine and gives it a squeeze. "We can do this, Catherine."
I hope he's right.
Chapter Fifteen
Scratching sounds stop us from moving out of the tunnel. We've been here for five minutes waiting for the righ
t time to move, and if we wait much longer, then I fear we're going to cut it too closely with the sun.
I reach out for Benedict's arm before I can stop myself. Instead of shrugging me off, he reaches up and places a hand over mine.
"If we don't get going soon, we're going to get caught out by the sun," I warn. The sky is already lighter than I'm comfortable with. I don't think I've come this close to dawn since I was a child.
"We'll be okay," he assures me, though I don't think he means it. There's a tremor in his voice which suggests he's as worried as I am.
At our age, we'll be able to spend about ten minutes in daylight without dying, but we'll still end up with severe burns. Ones I won't be able to cover up before the next party at the Mayor's mansion. I don't know what I'll do if that's the case. Especially when I've just sent my best worker away for her own safety.
We both fall silent, listening intently so we can be sure the coast is clear. We exchange a quick glance, confirming we both feel it's safe to continue, then leave the hole in the wall. We move swiftly, both aware of what will happen if we're caught here. No one will ask any questions. They'll assume the worst. And to be fair, in this case, that's precisely what we've been up to. No one is supposed to be able to leave the city, and yet we just proved that's not true.
Benedict slips his hand into mine.
"We should move slower now," he says, nodding towards the taller buildings.
I nod, not having noticed how far we've come. It'll only take us another fifteen minutes or so to get back to the Black Fan. I wish we hadn't come so far away in the first place, especially so close to dawn. But I know why we did it. And the reasoning is sound.
Despite knowing it'll arouse less suspicion, it's hard to slow my pace. I want to be back between the familiar walls of the brothel, sure that we're both safe and sound inside, where nothing will be able to hurt us. Even if that isn't technically true. I haven't been naive enough to believe anywhere is safe in a very long time. Perhaps even in the entire time the two of us have been apart.
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