Merida didn’t.
She wanted her baby with her at night and though she was completely lovely, the fact was most new mothers didn’t want their close friend around twenty-four seven as they stumbled through the first weeks of parenthood.
Had she not been paid to be there, Naomi might have suggested that she check into a hotel, or even just come for a week or two.
Not two months!
They came to the lake and sat down on the bench but almost as soon as they had, the lack of motion set Ava off.
‘Let’s walk,’ Naomi suggested when she saw that Merida was close to tears.
‘No, let’s head back.’
Poor Merida was so exhausted that she took Naomi’s suggestion that, rather than feed her, she head off for a sleep. ‘I’ll wake you at six,’ Naomi said.
‘I can’t leave her crying till then.’
‘She won’t be,’ Naomi said, rather hoping that was true.
Ava did her level best.
‘Is she hungry?’ Barb asked a couple of hours later when Naomi came into the kitchen with a screaming Ava over her shoulder.
‘She wants to use her mum as a dummy,’ Naomi said, then corrected herself so that Barb would understand. ‘A pacifier. I’m hoping that if Merida can have a proper sleep and I can calm Ava down, they might get a good feed. I’ll give her a bath soon and hopefully that will calm her.’
‘Doesn’t her crying bother you?’ Barb asked.
‘A bit,’ Naomi admitted, ‘but nowhere near as much it upsets Merida—she has the keys straight to her mother’s heartstrings.’
But held upright and lulled by the conversation, Ava started to calm. ‘What are you making?’ Naomi asked Barb.
‘Chicken soup, the proper way. For Jobe.’
Naomi smiled and decided to watch and see how chicken soup was made the proper way. There was a whole chicken simmering in the pot, along with vegetables and herbs, and the kitchen smelt divine—it must have because, though awake, little Ava had stopped crying and was resting on Naomi’s shoulder.
‘Bernard will take it in later,’ Barb said. ‘And some for Abe too.’
‘He’s there a lot, is he?’ Naomi couldn’t help but check.
‘He goes in after work and I think he’s staying till late at night. I wish that he’d stop here afterwards, but he seems to have stopped doing that.’
Naomi swallowed. She really hoped that what had happened between Abe and her wasn’t affecting his decisions. She doubted it, though. Of course she had looked him up online more thoroughly and it would seem a kiss in a park was extremely chaste compared to his other well-reported shenanigans over the years.
She doubted he had given it a second thought.
Whereas she thought about him all the time.
All the time.
Yet how could she not?
There were photos lining the walls and his name was dropped into the conversation numerous times. And each night she’d lain there, with ears on elastic, wondering if he might have decided to stay after he had visited the hospital.
It would seem that he hadn’t.
‘You came just after Mrs Devereux died...’ Naomi said.
‘Yes.’ Barb rolled her eyes. ‘We’d have lasted five minutes otherwise. She went through staff like a dose of salts.’ Barb had started to chat more easily with Naomi now and had admitted that all the staff had no idea, apart from what they read, how serious Jobe’s illness was. ‘Twenty-five years we’ve been here now. Bernard’s worried that we won’t get another live-in job if...’ She paused. ‘Well, there’s nothing to be gained stressing about that.’
It was clear to Naomi that she was stressing, though.
Naomi’s little ploy to keep Ava awake and Merida asleep seemed to have worked. After a bath and dressed in her little sleepsuit, Ava was more than ready to feed and Merida seemed a lot more relaxed.
‘What time will Ethan be back?’ Naomi asked as Ava fed.
‘He just called, he’s going to come and have some dinner and then head over to the hospital. They’re meeting with Jobe and his specialist. He’s not doing so well. The treatment he’s having just drains him. It’s tough. Especially as Ethan and he have just started talking. I mean really talking.’
‘You said they’d just started to get on. Weren’t they close before?’
‘No.’ Merida shook her head. ‘Oh, they worked together and were polite and everything but Ethan grew up thinking that his father had had an affair with his nanny and that was the reason that their mother had left...’ Merida took a breath. ‘This is just between us?’
‘Of course.’
‘Their mother was absolutely awful. Everything in the press has her painted as a saint and Jobe let Ethan think that. Over the months I’ve been piecing things together but finally Jobe confirmed it—she was cruel. The reason Elizabeth left was because Jobe had found out what was going on. She painted herself as the perfect mother but she just ignored the boys. More than that, she neglected them. She left Ethan in a car once, in the height of summer. If Abe hadn’t told the nanny his brother was still in the car...’ She shook her head. ‘Abe nearly drowned in the bath. If the nanny hadn’t come in when she had...’
Naomi shuddered.
‘Apparently the nanny that everyone thinks Jobe had an affair with was actually the person who stood up for the boys. She told Jobe all that was going on. He’d always been too busy with work but as soon as he knew he confronted Elizabeth. She headed off to the Caribbean, insinuating she’d found out that Jobe was sleeping with the nanny. When she had her accident Jobe’s name was mud, but he never revealed the truth, not even to Ethan, until the night Ava was born.’
‘What about Abe?’ Naomi asked. ‘Did he think his father had cheated?’
‘No.’ Merida shook her head. ‘Apparently he always knew that the mother was awful. He always looked out for Ethan. Hard to believe, really, when he never gives Ava a glance. But who knows what he went through? Perhaps that’s why he’s so dark. He was never under the illusion that his mother was perfect, far from it. Jobe put up with a lot from the press and, sure, he’s had his fair share of wives and drama, but he’s done his best as a father.’
‘Do you think he’ll make it till Christmas?’
‘I don’t know,’ Merida said. ‘There’s the big ball on Christmas Eve and Jobe insists that it goes ahead. I can’t imagine going.’
‘It’s still a couple of weeks away.’
‘It’s ten days away.’ Merida grimaced. ‘I haven’t a hope of getting into a dress. I’m rather hoping that Abe and Candice can fly the Devereux flag without us.’
Naomi felt her cheeks go warm from the sting of Merida’s words, but thankfully her friend carried on chatting away and didn’t notice. ‘Khalid’s flying in on Friday and Ethan’s meeting him for dinner and things. It’s all business as usual, except we all know that it’s not...’
Naomi wondered if she should tell Merida that the staff were worried too but decided against it. She certainly didn’t want to add to Merida’s stress, especially when finally both mother and baby looked more relaxed.
‘She’s asleep.’ Merida smiled.
‘And she took a good feed.’
‘I don’t know how I’d have done this without you,’ Merida admitted.
‘I’ve hardly done anything. You’ve had her in with you at night.’
‘Honestly, you’ve been amazing, Naomi. I was all set to put her on the bottle this morning.’
‘She’s a fussy little thing.’ Naomi smiled. ‘I think if you can stretch her out again, especially with Ethan being out tonight, then you might get her into a bit more of a routine. Let me have her and I’ll bring her up to you again at ten and then again at two.’
‘You’ll be exhausted.’
‘That’s what you’re paying me to be,’ Nao
mi pointed out, but that didn’t work with Merida, so she changed tack. ‘I can sleep tomorrow,’ Naomi said with a smile. ‘This is like a holiday for me, Merida. Usually I have the baby, or babies, twenty-four seven and just take them in to the mother for feeding and cuddles and such.’
‘Well, it’s great that you’re here.’ She looked down at her now contented baby.
‘Then use me.’
Merida looked up. ‘Ethan wanted me to go for dinner with Khalid on Friday. He’s hoping to soothe the feathers that Abe’s ruffled.’
‘Is there still no agreement?’
‘None. Abe refuses to budge.’
‘Why don’t you go?’ Naomi suggested. ‘Dinner sounds far less daunting than a ball and you know that I’ll babysit.’
‘I don’t really want to go,’ Merida said. ‘And I don’t need you to babysit. I thought might go to the hotel and take Ava. Just have a nice night away...’
‘Sounds perfect,’ Naomi said. ‘And even better if we can get her sleeping between feeds.’
‘Would you be okay, though?’
‘I’m sure I can find something to do,’ Naomi teased—they were in New York after all. ‘Go!’
It was a plan, and all the more reason to get little Ava settled, so for this night at least Naomi assumed more of a nanny role. When Ava woke up half an hour later, again Naomi walked the floor and did the same thing at ten. ‘I’ll take her downstairs,’ Naomi said, because her little cries wafted from Naomi’s floor right up to Merida’s. ‘And I’ll bring her back for another feed at two. She is sleeping more in between, Merida,’ Naomi assured the new mother. ‘And she’s taking much bigger feeds now.’
And so at midnight Naomi sat in the drawing room, holding a still wakeful Ava, although she wasn’t crying now. Just alert and awake and utterly gorgeous.
‘You are going to sleep after the next feed,’ Naomi told her. ‘And you’re going to be good for your mummy on Friday night...’ Her one-sided chatter stilled as the door opened. Ava must have picked up on Naomi’s sudden tension because she started to cry.
And Naomi was tense because almost two weeks after she’d seen him last, Abe was finally here. Until now she had only seen him in a suit or coat, but tonight he wore black jeans and a thin black jumper, his immaculate hair needed a cut and he was unshaven. He looked like he could be on a wanted poster, Naomi thought.
He most certainly was.
Wanted.
Not that she dared to show it.
‘Hey.’ He gave her a grim smile as he came into the drawing room. ‘I wasn’t expecting anyone to be up.’
‘I was just about to take Ava upstairs.’
‘No need, I’m heading up myself.’
‘Then I’ll stay down here,’ Naomi said, and then, worried he’d think she meant she was avoiding him, added, ‘I mean, I’m trying to get her into a routine, she’d only disturb you.’
‘I don’t think anything would disturb me tonight. Do you want one...?’ he offered as he poured himself a drink.
‘No, thank you.’
As he poured, Naomi sneaked a look and what she saw concerned her. He’d lost weight—his trousers hung lower on his hips and he looked utterly exhausted. There were dark smudges under his eyes, and the fan of lines looked deeper than they had just a short while ago.
‘How’s Jobe?’
Abe didn’t answer at first but not because he was ignoring her. It was more that he had to dig deep to find a steady voice.
‘He’s just made the decision to stop all treatments.’ It was the first time he’d said it out loud. So badly had he wanted to dissuade his father, to suggest he try to stay for Christmas, or make it to the New Year. Yet he’d known deep down he was being selfish. He was used to making decisions and it was terribly hard to accept that this one wasn’t his.
‘I’m so sorry.’
Abe took a belt of his drink and let out a long-held breath. ‘He says he wants to enjoy the time he has left, and the meds are making him tired and nauseous. He used to love his food.’
‘He might again,’ Naomi offered.
‘That’s what he’s hoping.’ Abe nodded. ‘Ethan’s staying there tonight. I was going to go home but then I remembered I’m minus a driver.’
‘How come?’
‘He’s moving to Florida.’
‘Oh.’
‘The snow’s really piling up. I don’t want to be too far away just in case.’
‘Abe...’ Naomi knew, even if it was awkward, that she had to broach things. Jobe’s health trumped a moment spent blushing. ‘I would hate to think you might be staying away because of me...’
‘Of course not.’
He had been, though.
It had been one day, he kept telling himself.
No big deal.
Yet it had been the nicest day he had known.
And her company still was.
So much so that despite his intention to head straight up to bed, instead he sat down and looked over at little Ava. ‘How is she?’
‘Being difficult in the way two-week-old babies generally are. Don’t catch her eyes. She’s looking for attention when she should be sleeping. We’re trying to get her into a routine.’
‘Maybe she’s like her uncle and loathes routine.’
‘Well, she’s certainly been burning the candle at both ends.’
Instantly Naomi regretted her words for they seeped the indignation she felt and they told him, if he listened closely, that she’d been reading up on his rather wild ways.
But there was no retrieving them so she just screwed her eyes closed for a second and then prised them open and stared into the fire and offered an apology.
‘That sounded...’ She didn’t know what to say. ‘No wonder you’ve been avoiding home. All I need is a rolling pin and to be standing at the door.’
He gave a low laugh, taken aback by her honesty, so he returned it.
‘I have been avoiding coming here,’ he admitted. ‘Not because I didn’t want to see you, more because I did.’
Her eyes filled with tears, and she felt her face redden—or was it the glow of the fire?—but in that midnight hour it felt as if there was space to be honest, and admit to the hurt she’d felt. ‘I know it was just a kiss to you, Abe, but it was my first.’
She didn’t look at his reaction, didn’t want to see the surprise on his face. Yet there wasn’t any. At some level, he’d known that the mouth that had met his had been an inexperienced one, that the woman he had held in his arm had not flown into them easily, and the hurt he had caused gnawed at his gut.
‘You shouldn’t have wasted it on me,’ Abe said in a deep, low voice that both scalded and soothed her soul.
‘It wasn’t wasted.’
There wasn’t silence between them, just little noises from Ava as she tried to catch an adult’s eye in the hope of staying awake awhile. And it was Abe who gave in to her, taking one of her little hands and watching as the tiny fingers coiled around his.
Naomi didn’t halt him, or warn him that he was messing up a routine. Some things were important and to see him care for his niece, to reach out and get to know her, felt as if a small battle had been won.
And he wanted to warn Naomi, to tell her to stay the hell away, yet he moved closer, not physically but sitting beside her felt so right it reminded him of just how wrong the world could be.
‘When Ethan was born, we had a family photo taken,’ Abe said, ‘sitting on this sofa. And then Jobe and I headed up to the terrace garden for some father-son shots. It was for a magazine.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Four,’ Abe said, ‘nearly five.’
And she smiled because on that glorious day they’d shared, he’d told her things about his father. About pizzas and pretzels, and precious times spent.
; ‘I came back down. I think I’d forgotten something and I found Ethan lying face down on the sofa...’
The smile drained from her face.
‘Like one of the cushions. Elaine, the nanny, came in and I remember her turning him over and he was purple. She was shouting at me for not picking him up, for not doing something...’
‘Where was your mother?’
‘She’d gone for a lie down. Just dropped him like a doll once the photo was over. I never let him out of my sight after that. I used to dread coming home from school, wondering if he’d be safe. It’s hard to believe that he’s now a father himself.’
‘And a very good one.’
‘Yes.’
He didn’t know if Naomi knew about the contract between him and Merida. It seemed irrelevant now. Abe could see how happy his brother and Merida were and, like every new father, Ethan came in every day with tales about his new baby.
And his wife.
Despite the contract and Abe’s gloomy predictions, it would seem they were very much in love.
It made his relationship with Candice, or rather the lack of it, so hollow.
So shallow.
Or rather, more simply, low.
And as Abe looked down at the fingers so tightly holding his, he knew that the woman who held this baby deserved to know that her first kiss hadn’t been entirely wasted on a cheat.
Even if it broke the terms of a contract he himself was bound to.
‘Naomi, I can’t really go into details but I am sorry that I wasn’t upfront with you about Candice.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ She shook her head, loath to confront things.
‘I think that it does.’
Naomi swallowed. She just looked at down at Ava, who lay blowing bubbles and utterly content and oblivious to a sometimes cruel world.
‘This can’t go any further,’ Abe said.
‘She’s two weeks old.’ Naomi deliberately misinterpreted, deflecting with a tease, but then she was serious. ‘If you mean me, you don’t have to worry, I’d never breathe a word.’
‘I know that.’ Intrinsically he did. ‘The truth is that Candice and I have an arrangement—as far as the press and the board are concerned, we’re in a relationship. We’re not, though.’
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