‘You look wonderful,’ Naomi said to Barb.
‘I could say the same for you. It feels odd to be heading to the party without Jobe. Maybe next year.’
Naomi said nothing.
It was hell sometimes, having a foot both upstairs and down, but surely the staff ought to know?
When they had gone, Naomi went to order a car of her own. The staff phone was ringing in the kitchen but she ignored it. After all, it couldn’t be for her.
As she went to get her coat from the cloakroom, it reminded her so much of her day with Abe that she just buried her face in it for a long moment. There was the faintest scent of him, she was sure. Naomi didn’t wear perfume and there was a sharp, clean note of bergamot on the collar. And she recognised another, wood sage, she was sure. It was the scent she had breathed in when they had kissed. The same scent that had met her in the hallway the morning he had left before dawn.
Then the phone rang again and she suddenly thought of Jobe and how sick he was and decided she ought to pick it up.
‘Devereux household.’
‘Naomi?’
She closed her eyes at the sound of Abe’s voice.
Not for a second did she think it might be Ethan, even if they spoke with the same accent, even if their voices were both deep and low. It was as if Abe’s were etched like a signature on her heart.
‘Yes.’
‘Is Barb there?’
‘It’s the staff dinner tonight,’ Naomi reminded him. ‘Everybody’s out.’
‘Of course.’ He let out a sigh. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Is everything okay?’ she couldn’t help but ask. ‘Is Jobe—?’
‘He’s good,’ Abe said quickly, as he hadn’t intended to alarm her. ‘Well, when I say good, now that he’s off a lot of the meds he’s suddenly hungry and eating.’ He spoke so easily with her. ‘As well as that he’s talking. A lot. Reminiscing, I guess.’
‘I thought...’ She hesitated. As far as she knew, Abe was supposed to be out with Ethan and Khalid tonight, but it would seem he’d chosen to spend the time with his father. It wasn’t her place to pry.
‘There’s a photo he wants. I was going to ask Barb if she could take it down and have Bernard bring it over...’
‘I can do that.’
‘Would you?’
‘Of course. Where’s the photo?’
‘It’s on the main staircase,’ Abe said, and he could hear the clip of her heels as she walked on the marble floor of the entrance. ‘Are you on your way out?’
‘Why?’
‘I can hear heels.’
‘Yes, I’m on my way out.’ Naomi offered no more information than that.
‘Where are you going?’
‘Why?’
‘I’m just curious.’
He could remain so, Naomi decided. ‘I’m at the stairs.’
‘Okay, about a third of the way up there’s a photo of Ethan and me eating pizza...’
‘There’s one of the two of you on a yacht, and there’s one of you...’
She was looking through his youth.
There were load of formal shots and then she saw the one he had referred to the other night. Ethan was a tiny baby and Abe was sitting on his father’s knee, wearing a smile. Elizabeth was looking adoringly at the newborn she held.
And this was one picture, Naomi thought, that didn’t paint a thousand words—instead it lied.
Only not quite, because now that she knew Abe she could see the fixed smile and that it did not meet his eyes.
‘It’s halfway up the stairs,’ Abe said, trying to direct her, and Naomi dragged her eyes away and located the correct photo.
‘Got it.’
It was gorgeous. Abe was looking very serious but more relaxed than in the others, and Ethan was holding a huge slice of pizza. Jobe was squinting against the sun that shone in his eyes.
‘I’ll bring it over now,’ Naomi said.
‘Are you sure you don’t mind? I can wait outside if there’s somewhere you need to be...’ he fished shamelessly. ‘I mean if you have a reservation or you’re meeting someone.’
‘It’s really no problem,’ Naomi said, and carried on being evasive. She wasn’t bitchy in the least but she did manage a rather satisfied smile when she ended the call, because he clearly wanted to know what she was up to tonight.
Well, Abe Devereux could keep right on guessing.
Naomi was actually well ahead of time as she left the house. She’d allowed ages for the snow but, of course, New York was considerably more geared up for heavy snowfall than London, and her ride soon arrived.
As she climbed into the car, though, instead of asking to be taken to the private wing of the hospital, Naomi thought of what Abe had said about his father eating and him being rarely hungry, and she made a decision.
‘Could we take a little detour on the way to the hospital?’ Naomi asked. ‘I want to get a pretzel.’
‘From?’ the driver asked.
‘The first cart we see.’
It didn’t take long to find one and before long she arrived at Jobe’s door. For Abe it was like a breath of fresh air had swept in. Hospital visits, even the better ones, were hard going at times and she just breezed in wearing her red coat and her hair glossy, and for the first time he saw her made up. But it was her smile and her effortless way with his father that knocked him sideways.
‘Hi, there, Jobe.’ Naomi smiled and went straight over. ‘It’s Naomi, Ava’s nanny and Merida’s friend...’ He gave a nod of recognition. ‘It’s so good to see you again.’
‘Am I already in heaven?’ he asked. ‘What’s that smell?’
‘I brought in a pretzel.’
And whether he could eat it or not, it didn’t matter. The scent alone made him smile.
‘Where are you off to?’ Jobe asked.
‘It’s a secret,’ Abe answered for her. ‘We’re not allowed to ask.’
And then he looked at Naomi as her face broke into a smile. They had been teasing and flirting, even if she refused to admit it.
‘Jobe can know,’ Naomi said. ‘I’m going to see Night Forest. The production your daughter-in-law—’
‘I’ve seen it,’ Jobe said. ‘You’re in for a magical night. Who’s the lucky fellow?’
‘Jobe, I’ve barely been in the country for three weeks! And,’ she added, ‘I’m working.’
‘Not tonight you’re not,’ Jobe said, taking in her heels and make-up. ‘Where are Ethan and Merida?’
‘They’re out with Khalid,’ Abe said. ‘I chose to give it a miss, though I can feel my ears burning.’
‘You took a risk,’ Jobe scolded.
‘Someone had to.’ Abe shrugged.
‘Well, you should have spoken to me about it,’ Jobe insisted. ‘Not that he’s ever come to me for advice,’ he added, rolling his eyes for Naomi’s benefit, and that made her giggle. And that made Jobe smile. ‘You know, while you’re here you should go to the Devereux Christmas Eve Ball. It’s the best night of the year.’
‘I’m working.’
‘Pah!’ Jobe said. ‘I thought Merida said that she didn’t want a nanny.’ Jobe looked at his son. ‘You could take her. Ethan will be there with Merida...’
‘Stop interfering.’ Abe’s voice was harsh, and it was Naomi’s first glimpse of it, not that it seemed to bother Jobe.
‘Just saying.’
‘Well, don’t.’
Naomi looked at Abe’s gritted jaw and gave a tight smile. She didn’t blame Jobe, of course, he was a little confused and was just being nice, but it made an already awkward situation worse.
‘I have to go, Jobe,’ Naomi said. ‘You look after yourself.’
And when she had safely gone, confused or not, Abe waved a finger at his father. ‘Don’t even g
o there.’
‘What?’
‘Suggesting I take someone to the ball.’
‘She’s only here for a few weeks, she deserves a big night out...’
‘I’ve never asked for your permission or help with my love life, and I shan’t start now.’
‘I never said anything about love,’ Jobe said. ‘I was just saying take the girl to the ball. She’s nice.’
Abe said nothing.
‘Remember how I used to buy you one of these to warm your hands?’ Jobe said.
‘Sure.’
‘Even back then, you never told me what was on your mind.’ He wasn’t confused now, just bewildered that Abe hadn’t been able to come to him. That he’d had to hear from the nanny what was going on in his own home. ‘You could have told me, Abe...’
‘I know now.’
‘Why didn’t you?’ Jobe said, and then he gave a wry laugh. ‘I know, even back then you trusted no one.’
* * *
He stayed a few hours, doing work when his father dozed then making small talk when he woke up.
And then it moved from small talk to more serious matters as Jobe tried to tie the loose ends in his life. ‘I don’t like this business with Candice.’
‘Don’t worry about that now.’
‘But I do.’
‘Well, you don’t have to. I ended it this afternoon.’
‘How did she take it?’
He should possibly soothe his father and assure him everything was fine, but that would make him a liar. ‘Not very well.’
‘I don’t trust her, Abe.’
‘You’re a Devereux and, as you just pointed out, we don’t trust anyone,’ Abe quipped. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
And Jobe stopped worrying about Candice and lay back on his pillows and saw the foil from his pretzel and he was back to the days of his sons’ childhoods again and reminiscing.
‘Nice girl,’ Jobe said, just before he dozed off again.
‘Yes, she is,’ he admitted this time.
And for Abe, that was the problem.
She was so nice that now he would never be able to eat a pretzel again without thinking of not just long-ago times with his father but the day he and Naomi had spent, and now the gift she had given him and his father tonight...
The memories both evoked and made.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THAT NICE GIRL sat feeling blue and alone in a packed theatre.
Well, not alone. The seat had been available because, after all, few people go to the theatre alone, so Naomi found herself on the end seat beside one huge, happy family, and Naomi listened to their plans for Christmas and New Year. And, yes, this one she’d be spending with her dear friend and the person she was closest to in the world.
Yet it was Merida and Ethan’s first family Christmas and Ava’s first.
Naomi knew that, no matter how kind and welcoming they were, she’d feel a bit of a spare part.
Oh, Merida would do her best to make sure that Naomi was included but tonight that was how Naomi felt—like a spare part in a two by two, loved-up world.
It was a relief when the lights finally dimmed and she could lose herself in another world.
The production was breath-taking, so much so that Naomi forgot that the birds were actors, but when Belladonna came on, Naomi knew this had been Merida’s part. When she heard Sabine singing and realised the complexity of the role it hit home just how talented and accomplished Merida truly was.
And she was so proud of Merida, but tonight, as she stood next to the very large family for the standing ovation and applauded the cast, Naomi felt very small.
Well, not-small Naomi was well aware that she could lose the equivalent weight of three Avas and still have more to go, but tonight she felt insignificant and more than a little alone in this world.
It took for ever to get a cab, and Naomi had to walk for ages until the theatre crowd thinned out. It was cold with an icy wind, which didn’t help matters much, and she wasn’t assertive enough with her flagging, but finally she was sitting in the back of a warm cab and would soon be home.
The Christmas lights were amazing and the drive was a night-time version of the walk she had taken with Abe.
But this time as they passed the Rockefeller Center she was alone.
And the sight of the lights in the stores along Fifth Avenue reminded her of teardrops and suddenly Naomi let her own fall.
Oh, she loathed feeling sorry for herself, but tonight she did.
It was her own fault, Naomi knew.
She could have been with Abe tonight.
Naomi knew it in her heart.
The right thing to do really was the hardest thing.
But then the nicest thing happened. Whoever had warned her about New York cabbies clearly hadn’t met this one, because he was so kind that he handed her a wad of kitchen roll to wipe her eyes.
‘Christmas makes it that much harder...’ he said.
‘It does,’ Naomi agreed, and his insight just made her cry some more.
Then he told her about his wife, and how much he missed her, so much so that he chose to work through the nights. He was the nicest cab driver in the world.
‘You work for the Devereuxes?’ he commented, as they pulled up at the huge grey house.
‘I do.’ Naomi nodded.
No, it wasn’t really home.
Tomorrow she’d put her game face on again.
Just not tonight.
She turned the key and stepped into the entrance and had to think for a moment to remember the code, but then she stood rigid as Abe came up beside her and she watched as his long fingers punched it in.
‘You’ve been crying.’
It sounded more like an accusation. ‘No, I’m just cold.’
‘It must be the night for it,’ Abe said. ‘Barb just said the same thing, but in your case I don’t believe it has anything to do with the wind chill factor.’
Naomi didn’t even bother to take off her coat, she would do that upstairs. She just brushed past him and had made it halfway to the stairs when he spoke.
‘I’m sorry,’ Abe said. And even though it was his first apology in all his years on this earth, it didn’t go down well.
‘Sorry for what?’ Naomi said, and then spun around.
‘Upsetting you,’ Abe said. ‘For not telling you about Candice.’
‘You!’ Naomi shouted. ‘It’s not all about you, Abe.’ She was furious, not just with him but with herself, because of course he was there at the bottom of the well she was crying from, not that she’d let him know that. ‘You’re so arrogant. Doesn’t it even enter your head that I might have other things to be crying about?’
Abe just stood there, which was a feat in itself. Usually he turned his back on hysterics or drama, especially when they were of the female kind.
‘Christmas is hard for some people. Not that you even celebrate it. And, no, Barb wasn’t crying because of the wind...’ She stopped herself, because it wasn’t right to break Barb’s confidence in the heat of the moment.
So she collected herself.
‘Believe it or not, I wasn’t crying about you.’ She shot him a look that confirmed it and didn’t even bother to say goodnight, just headed up the stairs and closed her door in relief.
Damn Abe for seeing her cry.
She took off her coat and then held in a choice word when there was a knock at the door.
‘Naomi?’
‘Go away,’ she called out.
‘I can’t do that,’ he replied. ‘Not without seeing for myself that you’re okay.’
The door opened and she stood in her dress and shoes, her face tear-streaked but angry. ‘Well, you can see that I am.’ Then she looked down at the bottle of champagne and two glasses he was hol
ding. ‘I’m not in the mood for celebrating.’
‘That’s okay,’ he said. ‘Neither am I.’
Yet he made no move to go.
‘Why should I talk to you?’ Naomi said.
‘Because there’s a lot to talk about.’
‘I don’t want to hear your excuses.’
‘Good,’ Abe replied, ‘because I don’t make them.’
He made her smile, albeit it was a watery one. And she did want to hear what he had to say, so she pulled open the door and let him in and they headed through to her small lounge.
Naomi sat on the sofa and watched as he expertly poured two glasses and handed her one. He looked at her shaking hand as she took it, and then at the slight pull of her face as she took a sip and the way she moved away a touch when he sat down on the sofa.
He knew not to dive in too deep straight away so he asked something that had been troubling him since he’d spoken to Barb.
‘What’s wrong with Barb?’
Naomi swallowed. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Too late for that.’
‘Barb’s worried, they all are. They really don’t know what’s happening. And they’re sad too, as well as hopeful. She said to me tonight that she hoped Jobe would be able to come with them next year. I know they’re just staff to you, but—’
‘Firstly,’ Abe said, ‘they’re my father’s staff.’
‘I know.’
‘When Jobe went into the hospital it was for further treatment. It’s only been a few days since he’s accepted that it’s terminal.’ Abe was silent for a moment. ‘I haven’t.’
Naomi swallowed and suddenly felt terribly small.
Well, not thin and interesting, but she’d just shrunk inside at her own insensitivity.
‘I’m starting to, though,’ Abe admitted. ‘I want him to fight.’
‘It must be so hard to let him go.’
Abe nodded. ‘I always thought we’d have more time to sort things out...’ He didn’t elaborate, didn’t feel the need to, because it felt as if she understood. He dragged his mind back to what the conversation was about. ‘I will speak to them,’ Abe said. ‘Stupidly, I thought it might be better to wait until after Christmas...’
‘I’m sorry,’ Naomi said. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’
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