by Dana Burkey
“Set back up and run it again,” he continued, his voice echoing off the walls. “Lexi missing a rotation is one thing, but some of you have no excuse. You’ve been doing this too long to mess up counts.”
He counted us in and once again I went up and over, landing harder onto the waiting bases than usual. Everything felt like that. Like we weren’t able to really float and fly while being tossed like usual. I wondered if it was just the extra Florida heat we were still getting used to, or if it was the pressure of time running out before we competed in front of the whole cheer world.
“You got this Max,” a voice called out to me as I was lifted up and spun around before grabbing my leg in the bow and arrow. I went to grab onto Emma, but she wasn’t there.
“Stop,” TJ’s voice boomed out. “What just happened.
“I tripped,” Emma said weakly as I was being lowered to the ground. “I don’t have time to make it here and be ready.”
“Did time speed up in the last 48 hours?” As expected, no one answered so he continued. “We hit all of this fine two days ago in our gym, and now you’re all falling apart. I don’t understand. Did we come all the way to Florida just to prove we can’t do it? To prove we’re not capable of winning?”
The only sound in the room was heavy breathing as we all struggled to recover from running the pyramid so many times in a row. Everyone was feeling exhausted, but until TJ decided we were done with practice, we had no choice but to slog on. Glancing over at Lexi I saw she looked close to tears. This was her first time experiencing ‘The Wrath of TJ’ as we often called our coaches more intimidating mood.
“Hey TJ,” a voice tentatively called out. We all turned to see it was Nicole, one of the owners of the TNT Force gym. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
To my surprise, TJ turned and walked her way, not even addressing the team as he went. I made eye contact with Nicole as he did, and she gave me a reassuring smile. I wondered if she asked him to chat just to give us a second to breathe, or if she really did need to talk to him about something. Whatever the reason, I was extra thankful for her then. Nicole had been my first coach at TNT Force, and despite never yelling she was tough as nails. She carried herself like a champion, and even when she was in her yoga pants and gym shirt she gave off a very proper and sophisticated vibe. Today even more so, since her bright curly red hair was pulled back in a tight bun, and she was wearing almost all black.
“So, can we get water then?” I turned and saw it was Chris who had asked. He regretted it immediately as the athletes around him assured him that wasn’t allowed unless we wanted to make TJ even more angry.
“Hey team, gather up,” Emma finally said, waiting to continue until the team was nice and close around her. “We need to shake this off. Whatever this is. I don’t know what it is for everyone else, but I’m feeling all kinds of pressure and worry. Which makes sense, but we don’t have time for that. We can’t let our time here be over before it even begins.” She paused to take a long breath. “Now, I don’t know how to fix it all, but we need to get out of our heads long enough to just do what we know we can. Hit this thing and show TJ we can do the work and make it happen when we need to.” She paused in thought. “What do we think, can we do this?.”
“Yes,” I said, my voice joining with my teammates, just in time to see our coach returning to the mat.
I wish I could say that when TJ came back from talking to Nicole we hit the pyramid perfectly and we got to leave. But, that’s not how it went down. Instead, we had to run it easily a dozen more times, but things that we were struggling with were getting better. Partially since TJ came back a little more calm. He didn’t yell as much, maybe thanks to Nicole. Or maybe thanks to the fact that we all took a minute and had been able to refocus. Either way, when we finally hit the pyramid it was a great feeling.
“Now, I want you all to remember, you don’t get another chance on Saturday,” TJ said as we all sat sucking down water. “If we mess up, it’s over. If we make enough small errors it could all be over too. So we need to put on our game faces from the second we get to the arena until we’re either done for good, or get our name announced as a team in finals.” I nodded along with other athletes around me. “Alright, now that we got that to hit we’re doing three full outs. Hit at least one perfect and you’re all free to go.”
I let out a groan, but also couldn’t help but smile. Sure, our coach wasn’t yelling and screaming anymore. But he was still TJ. He still wanted to win, and knew we all wanted to as well. So, as we got set up to start running full outs, I found myself praying we could show what we could really do. Not just for our competition or fans watching, but for our coach and ourselves. I knew if we could convince ourselves we had it in us to hit when it mattered and ultimately win, then we would be one step closer to doing just that.
“Up next on the mat,” the announcer boomed through the loud speaker in the arena Friday afternoon. “From TNT Force, let’s hear it for Bomb Squad.”
Yelling as loud as my voice would let me, I cheered as the girls in pink raced onstage. Around me sat all of the parents from the gym, as well as all of the athletes on Detonators and Nitro. We were all doing our best to support the ladies on Bomb Squad as they took their places on the mat then launched into their routine.
“This bomb’s about to go off, so take some cover or show off. Living in pink on the big stage, this bomb’s about to…..blow! Bombs aaaaaaaaway! Bombs are raining. Bombs aaaaaaaaway! Stand back and watch.”
I sang along with the music, many others around me doing the same. When the music said “stand back and watch” the team performed a ripple of stunts from one side of the mat to the other. They first threw their flyers for a kick double basket, then set them up to be lifted from a slightly inverted angle up to an arabesque in one move. In order for it to work, the timing needed to be perfect, and they needed to pop the flyers up high enough so they were able to catch their foot that wasn’t held out behind them. I watched each stunt down the row, cheering as one by one they landed the move flawlessly. Then, the last stunt went and ended with not just the flyer but the whole stunt group falling to the floor. Around me people gasped or yelled out a simple “No” as the girls all got to their feet and kept going.
“You can still do this,” I heard someone yell out in encouragement.
But, no sooner were the words out of their mouths when another stunt fell. And then I watched as two girls tumbling across the front of the stage almost collided. They didn’t hit their bodies together in the air, but it clearly left both of them shaken since one didn’t finish the tumbling pass, instead balking like Halley had done in the gym just a few days ago. By some miracle they ended the routine with a perfect dance and pyramid, but by then it was too little too late.
“Oh my gosh,” the words came out of my mouth as an exhale of disbelief. Bomb Squad was leaving the mat after their two and a half minute routine, and the whole mood in the room felt like a deflated balloon. “This isn’t real.”
“Everyone has bad days. This was theirs,” Emma said simply, yet as she spoke I saw the tears shimmering in her eyes.
Moving quickly, we all began to gather our things and exit the arena. We made sure to not walk in front of people watching the next team take the floor, ducking or pausing in our walk so we weren't being too rude. As we went, I took hold of first Emma’s hand and then Jackson’s. Despite the fact that I wasn’t on the mat with Bomb Squad, seeing what they had just gone through was just as bad as if it had happened to Nitro. I knew what they felt like, falling apart with the whole cheer world watching. Only when we did it, we had the rest of the season to redeem ourselves after Nationals. For everyone that had just performed, the poor run made it all but certain that their season was over. It would take a miracle for them to make it into the finals with all the deductions they had just gotten on the mat.
Standing outside the arena where the athletes would emerge from backstage the mood from inside continued. A lot of people
stood silently, only a few parents talking in hushed whispers about certain mistakes they had seen on the mat. Did Lana really bobble her scorpion? Was Rachel’s tumbling pass really a deduction? No matter how they did the math, it was clear the season was over for the ladies in pink from TNT Force. So, when they finally emerged from backstage, no one seemed surprised to see many of them crying.
“Gabby,” Emma gasped, racing towards her friend immediately.
As Emma took off into the crowd I held Jackson’s hand a little tighter. Then, not able to see even when standing on my tiptoes, I asked, “Do you see Gwen?”
Being a lot taller than me, he could see over more of the hugging and now crying people than I could. Even still, it took a while for us to find her. Jackson spotted her with her parents, so I stayed by his side a little while longer until I saw she was heading my way. Dropping his hand, I gave Gwen the biggest and tightest hug I could muster. Usually she would pick me up or find a way to make the hug silly or weird, but not this time. This time she hugged me back, sniffling every now and then to no doubt keep back the emotions.
“I’m really sorry Gwen,” I said to her once she let go of me and moved to receive a hug from Jackson. They didn’t know each other as well, but in that moment everyone needed a hug more than usual.
“It just wasn’t our day,” Gwen managed, letting out a long sigh. “I just really didn’t want to go out this way. Sure, I wanted Bomb Squad to be remembered for our last performance, but not like this.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, we’re going to ride so many rides tonight to make up for it,” I offered weakly.
“Thanks Max.” She barely managed a smile, but in the moment it was good enough for me. “Well, we need to go get our bags and have a team meeting. I’ll message you once I’m ready to meet up with you, okay?”
I agreed, then gave her one last hug before she slipped back through the crowd of TNT Force families around us. Turning back around, I gave Jackson a hug as well, then held his hand extra tight as we waited for Emma to rejoin us. When she did, Juleah and Sarah were both with her as well. Everyone looked a little bummed, as was to be expected, so I naturally shared my plan with them.
“I think we need to go to the parks and get some junk food and rides in as soon as possible,” I suggested. “Gwen is going to meet up with us once she’s changed later, but I feel like I need to be upside down and spinning around for a while.”
“So you mean you want to do pyramid?” Juleah joked.
“After yesterday,” I paused to consider. “I think I'm good for a while.”
“Or until practice tonight,” Emma corrected.
“Either way, I vote we hit up Splash Mountain first,” Jackson suggested. He pulled out his phone to open up the park map and FastPass lists as he spoke. “The wait is short and then we won’t be as hot walking around all day like yesterday afternoon.”
While other people began chiming in with their thoughts, we started the walk to the waiting line of buses that ran around Disney, dropping people off at the park of their choice. Along the way we were joined by a few other athletes on Nitro, everyone having the same idea that we did. Sure, we all hoped the upcoming practice would be easier than the day before, but after what just happened with Bomb Squad, there was no way to be sure. Our practice was going to be on the field at the Wide World of Sports complex, so that at least meant no tumbling full out. But, considering it was the stunts in Bomb Squad’s routine that suffered the most, there was a chance we could spend a lot of time drilling ours at practice in response.
I didn’t want to think about practice, or competing, or anything but being a regular teen at Disney for a few hours. So, I pulled up my Disney app and started comparing my list of ‘need to ride’ rollercoasters with my friends as we loaded onto the bus and began rolling out of the sports complex. I had a solid five hours until we needed to get ready for Nitro practice, and I wasn’t planning on wasting any of it worrying about cheer.
“1-3-5-dip and-yes!” TJ called out as we got ready in the warm up room Saturday morning. “Keep up that energy-5-7-and go!”
As my coach screamed and clapped to keep us focused, Nitro was running our routine backstage at the arena. We were surrounded by other teams also getting ready to take the mat and perform, but did our best to focus on what we needed to do in order to be ready to hit a perfect routine. In just a few minutes we were going to have our chance to show everyone what we could really do. News of Bomb Squad not making it through to finals had come as we were finishing up practice the night before, and it was proving to be a good motivator to work hard despite the fact it was only 9 am.
“You got this M,” Jade said to me encouragingly as we reached the final section of pyramid.
We made it through stunts and tumbling, and just had a few more 8-counts until we were heading into dance and done with the routine. My arms and legs were feeling heavy thanks to all the hard work so early in the morning, but I knew if I could just make it through then I would be okay. Adrenaline always kicked in for me when I took the mat with my team. So, as we performed our dance and reached our ending pose I allowed my body to slump and sag for a few minutes until the real performance would begin.
“Did everything seriously just hit that perfect?” I asked the athletes around me as I sucked in air to level out my breathing.
“Yeah, kind of weird,” Jackson noted. “I don’t think we’ve ever had a warm up that flawless.”
Before we could talk about how things went any longer, TJ called us all together. It was the same kind of pep talk we were used to before performing, even though the stakes were a lot higher. Usually at a comp if you didn’t do well on day one, you would make up for it on day two. But as we had already seen with athletes from our own gym, if you didn’t hit at Worlds day one, then day two wasn’t a given.
“It’s now or never, so make it count,” he was saying, and getting a lot of nods and comments in agreement from the team. “Get out there, show them who we really are, and make me proud! Hands in.”
At our coach’s instructions we recited our team chant then began the agonizing wait to take the mat. It was only a few minutes, but felt like so much more as the sounds of the team that was on the mat before us filled our senses. The building was buzzing with loud music, the crowd screaming, and the energy and anticipation of finally performing was overwhelming. So much so that when the announcer called Nitro to the mat I felt like I was ready to explode.
Racing onto the stage as our family, friends, and the rest of the audience cheered, I smiled and waved, skipping to the part of the mat where I would begin the routine. Along the way I gave Juleah a double high five and hip bump, I hugged Emma while spinning around in a circle, and then finally got to my spot. Once I was there I looked over and made eye contact with Jackson. He winked at me, and just like that I felt like I could rule the world. I had my team around me, my dad not far away watching, and of course my coach already yelling words of support from where he was sitting just off the mat.
“Nitro! 5-6-7-8.”
“PROVE IT!” we all yelled in response to Emma, snapping into our opening poses and waiting.
What should have been a two second pause stretched on, putting myself and others around me on edge. All we could do was stand in place and wait. But, as the silence seemed to go on forever, I could feel the nervous energy on the mat building. Enough so that when we finally heard our mix begin it threw a lot of people off. Some people performed their opening jump, while others like myself were rather confused and stood there longer than necessary. Then, the music cut out all together. TJ was screaming at us to set back up, his arms waving around like crazy. I did what he said, calling out after Emma for a second time, and finally standing ready to perform.
The false start, however, was like a switch being flipped. We went from being so confident and filled with energy in warm ups to suddenly being a lackluster team once the music started and we were finally able to perform. Although everything more
or less hit, we had sloppy tumbling, a few stunt bobbles, and didn’t perform to the level I knew we could. In just a matter of seconds, we went from a team of champions to what felt like a team of amateurs. The two and a half minutes ticked by slowly, our energy draining as we went. Enough so that in my big moment to reveal my double around needle to the world, I spun only once before a near fall. As we were all finally holding our ending pose after dance, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. We didn’t do what we set out to do, not even close. And by falling short, there was a chance we wouldn’t get another chance to prove what we could do in the finals.
“I don’t want to see tears and I don’t want to see sad faces,” TJ warned us, once he joined us backstage. “We will have practice tonight and work these things out, but for now you thank your family and friends and put on a brave face. People are watching and they know that we are capable of so much more. Don’t give them the idea that you are champions with bad attitudes and tears. Got it?” I nodded in agreement, noticing a few people around me fighting back some big emotions. “For now we need to make note of what we did wrong so we don’t make the same mistakes again. As for tomorrow, if we make it through then we need to make sure we don’t lose focus over anything.”
“If,” I echoed quietly.
In response, Juleah grabbed my hand. I also felt an arm wrap around my shoulders, but focused on the playback of our routine starting in front of us. I didn’t need to see the mistakes to know exactly what they were. Out of the corner of my eye I had seen Chris throw a layout instead of a double full, and watched in front of me as Jade busted on her standing tuck and almost ended up falling face first onto the mat. Not to mention I knew I bobbled my single around needle. I also noticed, in watching the video, that Lexi also bobbled at one point, not to mention our performance was flat which also had an effect on our score. With a division as tight as ours always was, it didn’t take much to allow other teams to be head and shoulders above you. Nitro was on thin ice, and we all knew it.