by Aki_kaze
It reminded him of when he attempted to take a photo with Sam. That time, Keith sat on the bed as Sam stood behind with a bright smile, his hand forming victory sign. It turned out that only the boy was visible in the photo while Sam was but a bright light. They could never have a couple photo. They could never go out together.
Sam was trapped in this house…
“I’m going out,” he told Sam who was rocking the chair beside him.
The spirit eyed him in question, but Keith said nothing further. When he was done washing the plates, he sought Diane and told her he would be going out. After that, he left.
He only had with him the smartphone in his pocket, not even his wallet. He didn’t mean to go anywhere far so there was no need to take a bus. He made quick steps to the local park. The harsh afternoon sunlight made him break into a sweat within just a few minutes of walking.
He stood before the signpost which gave him the direction to that school. He took a deep breath before following its guidance. It took him 8 minutes until he arrived at his destination. One side of the blue double gate was left open. Three buildings stood in U-shaped layout, the center of which was an open field. Bordering the field were trees which provided shade to the benches under them.
Keith stopped at the gate for a long time. Why was he here? What did he expect? The Oliver guy wasn’t here anymore, and he was also responsible for Sam’s… He shook off that negative thought, telling himself it was not anyone’s fault.
He took a step inside. On his left hand, there was a parking lot. The school was silent, and it would remain so until the break was over. He walked towards the central field, his eyes looking around, examining. Sam’s school offered only secondary education, so its size was smaller than his which also included primary one. From where he stood, he could view the gymnasium behind the building in the middle. There, a group of people in his age was chatting. He could see Sam and him in them.
The boy could imagine Sam being in various places at school. What would it be like if he knew Sam when he was still alive? What would happen if they attended the same school even though they were in different grades? What if they could have lunch together, enjoy the break together, and go home together.
He stopped walking. Those things would never happen to him. They could however happen in the past back when Sam was still alive. And the one who was with Sam was that guy…
“Not again…” Keith mentally scolded himself.
When he tried to imagine Sam’s past, that guy would always be there. He existed in the time where Keith didn’t belong.
“You already know me well. More than anyone.”
Keith didn’t think so; he felt like he was the opposite of it. He did want to learn more about Sam, but maybe that was too much to ask for.
Keith looked at the bulletin board in front of the building. He knew that no one was there because it was summer break, and that his curiosity would diminish with every step he took solitarily. Still, he went inside. And wrong was he when he found someone in an office room.
“Do you need any help?” A woman in late 30s slid the small window open and asked him.
Keith went still.
“I…well.” He became so nervous his brain failed to supply his mouth with words for a moment. “I want to see a yearbook. My friend’s birthday is drawing near. I want to surprise him with his student photo.”
She raised her eyebrows. He tried to stop himself, yet he continued.
“He lost the yearbook. So, he doesn’t have any student photo with him anymore. I’ve got all his childhood ones. If I get his school ones too, it’ll be complete.”
“Which year? We might still have it if it hasn’t been too long.”
He did the math in his head before replying. She nodded and walked into the room inside. Keith stood there, waiting with a hammering heart. He bit his fingertip involuntarily but stopped as soon as he realized it.
The lady came back, her hand holding a thick book. She opened the door for him.
“Come in.”
“Thank you.”
Keith took the yearbook from the other and seated himself on a chair.
“When you’re done, leave it there on the table,” she instructed. “He must be a very important friend for you to do something like this.”
She gave him a smile before going back to work.
The boy eyed the yearbook he held, his finger tracing the raised letters on the cover. He opened it and turned page after page. He then came to realize he didn’t even know in which class was Sam, which meant this would take longer than expected. He looked at a group photo on the school introductory page and decided that Sam wouldn’t be there. He then aimed for the photo sections classified by student grade.
His heart beat fast as his eyes traveled past the portraits of the student in the same grade as Sam.
“Samuel… Samuel…” He mumbled, his eyes following his moving fingertips. Sweat trickled down his face. He didn’t let a single photo slip. Many Samuels he had found, but none of those was the one he was looking for.
“Can it be that it doesn’t have him?” he said to himself after having gone through three classes. “But Sam did graduate. He… passed away in summer.”
He found it in the fourth class. Without reading the name below, he immediately recognized the photo of Sam.
The boy with curly, blonde hair and bright, blue eyes was he. A faint smile tugged on the corner of his mouth. His uniform shirt was white, his necktie alternating between light and dark blue. Sam also wore a navy sweater over his clothes.
The photo before him made his heart pound. He lay a hand on it and could feel hot tears welling up in his eyes . He tilted his head back and took a deep breath. Even when he had calmed down, he couldn’t bring himself to view the photo again.
Sam didn’t like to take a picture of himself. This might be one of the very few he had. The liveliness radiated made Keith feel numb. He didn’t know when this was taken, but it could possibly be his last.
Keith took quite a time gathering himself. After a while, he pulled out his smartphone and took a picture of it. The longer his eyes lingered on it, the more he hurt. The photo is a constant reminder that Sam was no longer here and that the reason he could get to know Sam was because he could see spirits.
“Are you alright?” The lady came to ask him. Keith quickly wiped his eyes.
“I’m fine. It’s nothing. Thank you very much.” He placed the book on the table and got up.
“Tell your friend to visit the school sometimes.”
Keith couldn’t manage a word. He nodded and left without delay. Outside, he rubbed his eyes, trying to make the tears stop. Sam’s cheerfulness was deeply imprinted on his mind, so much that it remained vivid even with his eyes close. And that made it all the more harder to stop crying.
All he could ask was why, why, why?!
Chapter Thirty Eight
The Feeling When You’re Alone With…
When the yellow bus stopped in front of the house, the three got on it. Alice walked to her usual spot, greeting her friend cheerily. Keith was heading for his front seat when John grasped his arm. His cousin didn’t say anything as he pushed him to the back row of the bus. He sat down on the windowside seat; John, next to him. He still talked to his friends per usual, their loud voices filling the bus. Keith didn’t join the conversation, but he didn’t feel left out. It was good for him enough he didn’t become their topic.
He gazed outside the window, recalling what happened the day before.
Keith didn’t tell Sam about the school visit, nor did he mention the yearbook or the photo. He kept it to himself and acted as if nothing happened. The spirit understood it as back-to-school blues.
When the bus took a turn into the school, gloom deepened in his chest. New school year, new class, yet nothing to guarantee his life would get better. Even though John offered his company during the ride, they were still in different grades during class.
The boy w
alked into the classroom. Same old faces in same old seats. He sighed and moved over to his. At least the view outside the window had changed.
During lunch, Keith was still left alone. It was strange he kind of missed the school food even though it was not that tasty.
He picked up his smartphone and opened the gallery. Sam’s face appeared. His smile was so bright he couldn’t help smiling as well.
“What are you looking at, weirdo?”
The speaker snatched the phone from his hand.
“What the?! Give it back!” He quickly stood up just to find out that their sizes were apparently different. It was as if he was facing a wall.
“Who’s this? A girlfriend? A weirdo like you have a girlfriend?” The other boy mocked. All the eyes in the canteen were now on them.
When he saw the photo, he sneered.
“Why am I not surprised that you’re also a fag? But I have to admit I honestly thought a weirdo like you’d date a ghost though.”
Keith punched that boy right in the face. His hand went red and numb. The bigger boy didn’t expect the attack and stumbled backward, almost falling down. That stirred the audience. Now they were cheering for the fight.
“You little bitch!”
The other punched him back without delay. The blow sent him down on the floor. He felt dizzy, his vision blurred. His face was heated, his mouth and his cheek throbbing with ache and dripping blood. Keith saw his phone on the floor nearby and tried to reach for it. He received another kick in his stomach.
Doubling up, he desperately gasped for air. He gathered all of his strength and rose to throw himself at the other. He managed an uppercut although it didn’t knock the other off. His opponent swore loudly, face ablaze with fury.
“What’s happening?!”
A woman voice emerged. The bystanders stepped aside and made way for the teacher to approach them. She glared at both and brought them to the principal.
About an hour later, Keith and Diane sat in the principal’s office, together with the other boy and his mom.
“I’m sure he didn’t start it,” Diane declared firmly.
“He hit me first!” the other boy quickly protested.
The principal raised his hand to quell the quarrel. He mentioned the misconduct was undesirable regardless of whoever started it. As he went on with his speech, Keith stayed silent. He neither argued nor explained. His body still felt hot; his right hand, numb. He didn’t register a thing other people in the room had said. All he knew was that they both received a warning and were sent home at once. Tomorrow, they would still be back at school, like nothing happened.
“What’s wrong with this school?!” Diane huffed when they were out of the school. She turned to look at Keith who still remained quiet. “When I got the call, I thought it was John. But it turned out to be you. Does it hurt much?”
He shook his head.
“Let’s head home first. I’ll treat your wound.”
Both of them sat in silence during the ride home. Keith’s eyes drifted out of the window. His fist clenched at the thought of that guy’s word. He flinched at the acute sting on his hand and his arm. His knuckles flushed red. Now that he had learnt he was in pain, his whole body reciprocated accordingly. Another pang of pain hit his face. His mind went blank. He could feel nothing else.
Diane entered the house, Keith trailing behind. She told him to wait and went to grab the first aid kit in the bathroom. Keith seated himself on the sofa. Soon, Sam turned up in the living room. The other was about to ask him, but Diane came back.
“Let’s see.” Diane mopped the blood with tissue paper. He jolted up every time she touched his wounds. “But I have to say I never thought you could go against a bigger guy. It even seems that he got it worse.”
A smile on her face made him feel a bit better.
“Still, I don’t approve of it,” she said, tending the wound on his hand. “Whatever the cause is, you should not solve a problem by force.”
“What should I do then?” he shot back, “if someone insults me, what should I do? Should I hurl back those words? Does it make me different than him then? Or should I ignore it and walk away, so that the other will become bolder, thinking he did nothing wrong? Or should I use force, which results in… this?
“I don’t regret punching him. I know It wasn’t right. But if it could stop him, then so be it. If I could turn back time to fix it, I’d do the same. So that he will learn that I’m not just a defenseless victim. I understand you don’t agree with this. But if it was you, what would you do?”
She didn’t give him the answer, and he thought no one ever could. After she finished with his wound, she gave him the painkiller. Keith then excused himself to his bedroom.
He didn’t tell Diane what happened and wouldn’t tell Sam, who was closely following him up to the room, either.
Keith plopped the backpack on the floor and climbed onto the bed. Sam sat down on it, saying nothing. The boy flipped to the other side to escape the spirit’s intended stare. He shut his eyes, forcing himself to sleep, which was not that challenging a task seeing that his current body was in dire need of rest.
The spirit stayed by his side all the time. He woke up 3 hours later, moaning at the aches all over his body. He flipped to the other side to see Sam, to whom he gave a sheepish smile.
“Never thought you would get into a fight.” Sam repressed a smile.
“I…” His voice was coarse. The spirit pointed at the nightstand.
“Diane made you soup. But you fell asleep, so she brought you drinking water instead. Go eat it downstairs if you’re hungry.”
Keith gulped down the water in one go. It helped to cure all the drought from his lips to his throat even though it was quite painful. He sat up against the pillow, eying the blonde without saying anything.
“You’re really not going to tell me?” Sam asked. “I thought we have no secret between us.”
“There’s nothing for you to worry,” he replied, “thanks for staying with me.”
“Stupid, where else can I go?” The spirit eyed the wounded hand of the boy. “You hit other people, yet you got yourself hurt?”
“You should’ve seen his face,” the boy protested, his voice hinted with pride.
Sam contained a laugh, his finger stroking the other’s hand, sending a chilling sensation throughout his whole body.
“I want a ki…” Keith blushed at his own word, his lips pressed together.
“You want what?” The spirit’s eyebrows furrowed. “Some more water?”
“N… nothing.” The boy felt relieved the other didn’t hear his wish.
Sam shuffled to sit beside him. They both stretched their legs and noticed for the first time that their leg’s length had differed.
“I got taller?” Surprised, Keith turned to look at the other’s head level. “I really did.”
“You’ll be taller than me one day,” Sam’s voice mingled with laughter, but Keith wore a rather sad expression. The young spirit reached out a hand to squeeze the boy’s nose. He wrinkled at that in natural response. “You’re making this face again. I’m happy with that, you know. You have to get older and older while I can stay young forever.”
Keith snorted.
“You mean stay as a kid forever.”