“You do love to get lost in your thoughts.” He held out a small plate filled with tart.
Heat infused her cheeks again. She didn’t think she’d ever blushed this much before. “Thank you. This looks delicious.”
“I assure you, it is.”
They sat in silence as each ate their dessert. She had to admit it was the best raspberry tart she’d ever tasted. Perhaps his cook wouldn’t mind sharing her recipe with her brother’s cook. Of course, how did one accomplish that without insulting her brother’s cook? Perhaps that wasn’t the best idea.
She barely noticed when Edward took her empty plate from her hand. Her eyes did widen when he lay down on his back, his arms behind his head making a pillow. “Why don’t you relax. The sun is warm and we have no place to be but here.” He sat back up, removed his riding jacket, folded it and placed it on the blanket beside him. “Here. A pillow to cushion your head.”
Unable to ignore the sleepiness the food gave her, she curled on her side facing him, careful to adjust her skirts so she was covered. She didn’t want him to think her forward even if she wanted him to remove her clothing. Even she shocked herself with her thoughts at times.
His scent of sandalwood and masculinity wafted up from her pillow consisting of his riding jacket. The scent infused her and she tingled all over. It took great self-control not to bury her face in his jacket and inhale deeply.
“Comfortable?”
“Hmmm, very.”
“I’m going to close my eyes for a spell. You might want to do the same?”
“Hmmm, I already am.” It didn’t take more than a minute for Elizabeth to realize how tired she was.
WHEN EDWARD NOTICED Elizabeth’s breathing become steady and even, he turned onto his side, ignoring the pain in his back and legs, and watched her in slumber. She’d had telltale signs of appearing sleepy, so he thought a nap in the outdoor sunshine would do her good, which was why he’d pretended to be sleepy as well. When in fact all he wanted to do was watch over her while she slumbered. His chest ached with a protectiveness he’d never felt before. Not even with his sister. Well, not true, he felt very protective of Jane when she lived, but with Elizabeth it went beyond that. The desire and need to safeguard her with his body, heart, and soul took over his every thought when with her.
And yet a part of him felt terrified of the depths of his feelings for her. Everyone he ever loved died. Was his love cursed? Would his love for Elizabeth be her ultimate demise? Lunch churned inside his stomach. He swallowed and fought the nausea.
A wayward chestnut brown curl had fallen across her forward and onto her milky white eyelid. Gently he brushed it aside, and while he did, he couldn’t help but rub the silky strands between his fingers. A little purr escaped her lips, and he pulled his hand back quickly, not wanting to wake her yet. In time he would. In slumber she resembled a fairy princess. Her features relaxed and perfectly formed, kicked him in the gut with need. Was she a princess who needed rescuing? No. Elizabeth had a wonderful family who treated her with love and care.
If she needed rescuing it would make his life easier. Because he felt less than worthy of her. She had a perfect life. Marrying her, in his mind, would not be fair to her. Not with his skeletons. If she were a young lady with a wicked stepmother, marrying her would be the kind thing.
Hell, he wanted to marry Elizabeth more than anything else in this blasted world. He had a problem though. How to forgive himself for all his past sins, so in truth, he could prove worthy of her. Forgiving himself was his downfall. How did one love someone else, truly give one’s heart to them, when one hated oneself? At times like this, he wished Wentworth and Myles were close by. The two of them spoke very candidly, they wouldn’t let him shirk his feelings. Feelings? Since when did gentlemen talk about feelings? Perhaps most didn’t, but the three of them did. It was how they had survived the devastating things slung at them. Although to be truthful with himself, nothing they did was self-inflicted as some of his demons were.
Enough self-pity. It was high time he lived for today and gave his heart to the lady sleeping beside him.
Gently, he brushed his index finger ever so lightly down her cheek, down her neck, pausing to feel the blood pumping through her veins. Emotions crashed inside him, making his hand tremble along with his heart. His finger continued along down her neck and traced her delicate collarbone. He knew the instant she awoke. Her breathing changed, causing the rise and fall of her chest to increase. Her luscious pink lips curled up into a sleepy smile, and her dreamy blue eyes fluttered open ever so slowly, causing him to groan with need. Never had he seen such an erotic sight as Elizabeth glancing at him with innocent eyes glazed with desire.
“Edward?”
“Elizabeth?”
He rolled on top of her, one of his legs nestled in the juncture of her thighs. He kissed her mouth gently several times before moving down her neck, across her chest, and up the other side. Her body shivered and her hips rose against his leg. With a sigh he took her lips again. Not so gently this time, it only took a second for Elizabeth to open her mouth to him, allowing his tongue to thrust inside and explore. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him in place while her fingers tangled in his hair. Each and every time he intensified the kiss, she tugged his hair. The shock of the pain and the relief that came as she eased her fingers sent an inferno of desire to smolder inside his veins. He wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone or anything before. Make her yours screamed inside his head.
Breaking their kiss, he dragged in air as he concentrated on her lovely face. “If we don’t stop, you do realize what will happen?”
A becoming blush spread from her face down her chest and up to her ears, making her look even more beautiful if possible. “Yes to most,” she whispered, and his eyes were drawn to her swollen lips.
“Is this what you want? Because if we join our bodies here and now, we join our hearts, souls, and lives for eternity?”
Her fingers, still entangled in his hair, tightened at the same time she murmured, “Yes...yes...to it all. I want it all with you, Edward.”
Her answer was all he needed to hear, and Edward sighed deeply with relief. Finally, Elizabeth would be his whether he truly deserved her or not.
HAD ELIZABETH REALLY said yes? The joining of their bodies, for the first time, was going to happen outside surrounded by wildflowers, birds, and other daytime creatures. Elizabeth’s heart accelerated to near bursting from her chest. There was no more beautiful place to give herself to Edward than here. She’d said yes, so why was he still looking at her with wonder in his eyes when he should be doing...something.
The more he stared into her face with awe, the more nervous and self-conscious she became. So to speed things along and hide her insecurity, she tugged his head down to hers and kissed him. Her tongue delved inside his mouth and she tasted him. Wine and raspberries tingled against her tongue, and she moaned from the pleasurable taste.
While they kissed, Edward’s hands make fast work of the frog closures on her riding jacket and the laces on her blouse. He tugged down the front of her bodice, and cool air breezed across her exposed breasts sending her body aquiver. His lips moved from her mouth, placing feather light kisses down her neck and across her chest. He swirled his tongue around one nipple then the other and caused sensations to furl inside her belly and a warm heat to melt in the apex of her thighs.
“Hmmm,” she moaned as he suckled one nipple, and one hand shimmied up the inside of her skirts and untied the waist of her pantaloons. Her hips lifted, allowing him to slip them down around her ankles.
His head rose and he chuckled. “I forgot about your riding boots.”
“Me too.”
Edward removed her boots, spending time inspecting her exposed skin, causing gooseflesh to break out on her legs. One large hand skimmed up her thighs, bunching her skirts up around her waist and all the while he kissed her. The cool breeze hitting her core caused her to shiver. She would die of mor
tification if Edward could see her exposed womanhood, but he couldn’t. Then Elizabeth gasped and arched her back when his hand cupped her there. His fingers played with her curls, then parted her folds and found the center of her, and she tried to swallow her moans.
He chuckled against her mouth. “No one can hear you except me. And let me explain something, when you make those pleasurable sounds in the back of your throat my body burns for you.” He ground his hips against her, and she felt the hard length of him through his riding breeches. “Feel me. That is for you. Only you, for the rest of time, my love.”
Elizabeth had seen pictures of naked statues and pictures of men in books, but she had no idea how that hard thing in his pants would go inside her. She went to voice her concerns when he moved down her body, pushed her skirts higher, spread her legs and buried his face there. “Edward? Surely you are not? Oh dear...hmmm.”
“Relax and enjoy my love.”
She sighed, rested her head back on his riding jacket pillow and let her body feel. Shock and embarrassment quickly turned over to pleasure, and all her inhibitions vanished. Edward’s tongue swirled around her and sucked on her nub while he slid a finger inside her, making her hips thrust off the ground trying to get closer to his mouth and hand. If he could see her now, her face would be as red as strawberries. Lust and need took over as her body craved something beyond her knowledge and reach. Until...it happened. And when it did, her life altered, the earth shattered, and the sun exploded, sending beams of warm light to surround her and curl about her body and heart.
Elizabeth couldn’t move, her body spent and intent to lie beneath Edward and bask in the warm glow surrounding them both. But Edward had other ideas. He moved up her body, his hand still playing down between her thighs, and he placed light kisses everywhere while making sounds of pleasure. His hand left her center, and she heard and felt him undoing the front placket of his riding breeches until she felt something warm, hard, and silky against her thigh.
“I love you,” Edward said against her ear. “I wanted you to know before we...”
Her body still languid, her heart burst alive with his words. “I love you as well. Have since I first met you.” Her hands wrapped around his neck. “Make me yours. Make love to me.”
Edward groaned as he nudged his manhood at the juncture of her thighs. “Try to stay relaxed. I’ll make this as painless as possible.”
“How much will it hurt,” she whispered as her body tensed.
“Never been with a virgin. But from everything I’ve read, it only hurts briefly, and only the first time.” While he spoke his fingers were playing between her thighs again, and she felt the feelings she now knew were sexual need curl inside her belly as heat infused her womanhood.
“Now Edward, I’m ready.”
“Elizabeth...” He nudged again at her opening and she arched up against him. His member slid in a little at a time. He took her mouth in a searing kiss and pushed all the way inside past her barrier. Her body tensed from the invasion and pain. Edward didn’t move. His lips separated from hers, his breath heavy against her mouth. “I’m sorry. Did it hurt much?”
“For a minute.”
“Does it hurt now?”
“Mildly.”
“Can I finish and take you with me?”
Finish? What did he mean by finish? “What does that mean?”
He grinned. “Would you like to find out?”
The pain between her thighs eased as she relaxed, knowing she was with Edward and he loved her and would never intentionally hurt her. “Yes,” she whispered.
Before she’d finished saying yes, Edward crashed his mouth to hers and kissed her greedily. His hips thrust forward and released, causing his member to move within her body, licking her flames of arousal. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and she thrust her hips, trying to find a rhythm with him. Push, pull, up, down, it didn’t matter as long as they were joined with the same goal in mind.
Just as before her body trembled all over, and this time she didn’t hold her moans in, she screamed as Edward thrust one last time before his body tightened, warm moisture flooded her insides, and he collapsed on top of her.
Not long after they dressed the air chilled as the sun lowered on the horizon. Edward had a hard time keeping his hands off her as he assisted her with her clothes. Once Elizabeth was presentable, or as presentable as one could be without a looking glass to inspect her hair and clothing, she helped Edward with his shirt. She would ignore her disappointment that he’d already donned his breeches, hiding that part of him that fascinated her. She’d never had a chance to get a good look at it or touch it. Next time she vowed to explore his body as he’d done hers.
As they rode back to Cliff House, words were few, but stolen looks, smiles, and glances going back and forth between them were numerous, thrilling her. After what they’d shared, something Elizabeth knew would forever be etched in her heart and mind as the best day of her life, words were not needed. Expressions and emotions didn’t lie. At least she didn’t think they did. At least not in this case.
As they approached the front steps of the manor, a groom waited to take the horses and Elizabeth saw her brother’s coach parked front and center. The excitement at her brother arriving days early quickly turned to dread. Spencer and Miranda couldn’t see her in this disheveled condition. They would know at once what transpired between her and Edward. It didn’t matter that Edward proposed, he had, hadn’t he? Spencer would be furious. With any luck, they would be either in the drawing room or their assigned chambers, and she could ascend the stairs fast and quietly. In no time at all she would be in the safety of her room, and with the help of the ladies’ maid her and Mary shared, made presentable again before she welcomed the rest of her family.
Edward touched her arm and she settled. “I would presume they are waiting in the drawing room for us. I will go and keep them occupied while you retire to your room and prepare yourself.” He leaned close to her ear. “Please be quick, so Spencer doesn’t get suspicious.”
Chapter Seven
After Amesbury and Elizabeth left for their ride, Mary changed her clothing into her prettiest and favorite day dress. A blue muslin that complimented her blonde hair and blue eyes. She even had the ladies’ maid Amesbury provided her, redo her hair into a whimsical style. The whole time her pulse soared, and she tried to hide her excitement at what she planned to do. After she dismissed the maid, she entered the hallway and made her way down another hall and another until she stood outside Mr. Smythe’s room. Robert. He told her to call him Robert. Before anyone saw her, she knocked, and without waiting for a reply, slipped inside the room. Once inside, she noticed several things. The curtains were open, letting in light, a fire blazed in the hearth and Robert sat facing it. His face, however, was turned toward her and his eyes alight with curiosity.
“Robert,” she whispered as she moved to his side. “How are you feeling?”
“Almost like new. I hardly hurt at all. Am I mistaken but didn’t you already visit me this morn?”
Something warm and wicked spread throughout her body. Something, thanks to the events of earlier that morning, she recognized as lust. Something she wanted to feel again with Robert. “Do you mind if I stay for a visit?”
Robert looked at her with knowing eyes. Am I that obvious? Before she could move one blue slipper, he stood and sauntered toward her, his eyes riveted to hers, and she tingled everywhere. As though he’d been doing this forever, he pulled her with his good arm, buried his face in her neck, and inhaled deeply. “You smell divine. Is that roses?”
Tilting her head to give him better access to the curve of her neck, she answered, “Yes.”
“I will never see or smell roses again without thinking of you.”
“Thank you.”
After placing a kiss on her neck, he palmed her cheek with his free hand and smiled at her. “You look beautiful. Too beautiful for a man like me.”
Covering his warm, large hand w
ith hers, she stared into his eyes. “For a man like you? No, for you.”
He moaned and took her lips with his. Gentle and reverent. He kissed her forehead, each cheek. “You have ruined me for anyone else.” His lips met hers again and the tempo changed. His tongue swept inside her mouth and he devoured her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she leaned into the kiss until every inch of her body pressed against every inch of his.
“What the hell...”
Robert and Mary jumped apart at the sound of her brother’s harsh voice. “Spencer,” Mary said, her voice shaking along with her body. The sensual feelings from her embrace with Robert vanished, replaced with embarrassment and panic. “You are days early.” Behind them stood a young female servant who looked at her with wide eyes and a knowing smile before she turned and left.
“And fortunate that I am.”
“Easy, Spencer,” his wife Miranda said as she settled her hand on his forearm. “They were kissing, not in bed.”
“How do we know they didn’t just tumble out of it.” He glared at Smythe. “And Mary is utterly ruined.”
Smythe bellowed, “See here, Spencer.”
Tears burned Mary’s eyes and she wrapped her arms across herself, hoping to stop the violent trembling of her body. Robert, seeing her predicament, wrapped his arm over her shoulder and held her close.
Spencer cocked a brow, then narrowed his eyes, staring daggers at Robert. “Move away from her. You better hope Amesbury’s servants are loyal and not gossips because that is the only thing keeping me from strangling you right now. I’m hoping you haven’t ruined her for good. I highly doubt Mary would be happy living in the country as a spinster for the remainder of her days.”
Mary gasped. “You wouldn’t...” She pulled away from Robert and rushed to Miranda, grabbing both her hands in hers. “Please, you can’t let him ruin my life. Robert loves me and I love him. We will marry.”
The Spencer Sisters Forbidden Loves and Broken Hearts Page 7