by Natasja Eby
“No problem,” he replies. “I don’t know what to tell you about Cherry, though. I do not understand how friendships between girls work at all. Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” I say. “I think I can figure that out on my own.”
He nods. “About your parents though… I know it’s hard, but try not to get too involved.”
I give him this look like he’s crazy, but also like I’m curious as to why he would give me that piece of information.
“Trust me,” he says. “My parents have been separated for two years. They’re not divorced and they’re not with other people. But they’re also not with each other. I don’t know—it’s kind of weird. All I know is they make their own decisions regardless of what my brother and I do and say, and sometimes trying to help makes things worse.”
“Okay, I can take that,” I tell him. He’s right about one thing: that’s hard to hear. Maybe he’s right about the rest, too. “I guess that probably goes for Uncle Dan, too.”
“Probably,” he agrees. “I mean, that’s his business. I know it affects you, but what can you do? In the meantime, like I said, I’ll see if we can help Julian out. I can’t think of a single person who doesn’t want to see Julian win.”
“Except Red, you mean,” I mutter.
Adrian chuckles. “I think even Red wants to see Julian put up a good fight.”
“Before he beats him senseless?” I say wryly. I don’t really mean it, but I guess a tiny part of me is afraid of the possibility.
“Don’t worry, it won’t happen,” he promises. “Not if I have anything to say about it. Do you want to go to the dance with me?”
What a segue.
“Umm, I kind of already told the girls we’d go in a group,” I say, my voice laced with regret.
“Oh,” he says, clearly disappointed.
“But…I could probably change my mind if they all had dates,” I say, raising my eyebrows suggestively.
Adrian sighs exaggeratedly. “Now I have to match-make just to get a date with you?” I nod my head vigorously, giving him my most winning smile. He laughs. “Okay, okay, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Adrian,” I say meaningfully. “I really do appreciate it. All of it.”
Adrian walks me home after that. I realize that throughout our conversation, I didn’t even learn anything about him, except that he’s a huge sweetheart. So I ask him a load of questions, all of which he answers surprisingly openly.
Adrian’s lived in the same house his whole life. He lives with his Dad—his mom rents the house next door. They are separate, but not really because she shares at least three dinners a week with them and they still pay their bills together. He has a St Bernard named Sugar. His favourite hot drink is a chai tea, but he doesn’t want me to tell anyone because it’s not very manly to like chai tea.
He likes playing hockey, but he loves playing piano. I’m also not allowed to tell anyone that. I promise not to if he promises to play for me sometime. He agrees, and then we’re at my house and I’m a little sad that our pseudo-date is over.
“See you, Elli,” he says with a wink.
I lick my lips but I don’t get another kiss. Oh well, there’s always the dance.
CHAPTER twenty
One week until the competition and I still haven’t heard from Dan. I’ve called him a million times; I even asked my dad to call him. At this point, I’m desperate enough to hope that he left the GPS on his phone on. That’s how I found him last time. I never wanted to track him down like that again, but desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.
I turn my phone’s GPS on and some dots pop up on the map, indicating where some of my contacts are. To be perfectly honest, I think it’s a little creepy that I can find my contacts like this, which is why I didn’t want to have to use it. But like I said, I’m getting a little desperate. I’m also more than a little furious, but I’m trying to keep my priorities straight.
I can’t believe it—one of the dots belongs to my uncle. He actually left his phone’s location on. Good. Serves him right for just ditching me and Julian. I put on my running/training clothes and start following the map on my phone.
I think about asking someone to go with me, but I’m not sure who to ask. I want to ask Adrian, but although he’s been very sweet to me over the past week, I’ve already asked him for too much. Not only did he enlist several of his friends to help get Julian some last-minute training, but he also went out of his way to find out which ones are going solo to the dance.
This part of town is starting to look sketchy, and I’m a little afraid of where my phone is leading me. In a few minutes, I realize why: my uncle is at a bar. A part of me wants to believe that I’m mistaken, that maybe he’s not in there getting drunk or already drunk. But I know my hopes are farfetched.
I stand outside a bar called Shots, close enough that the bouncer starts to give me a funny look. I know I can’t go inside, and I really don’t want to, but I also want to find my uncle and tell him how furious I am at him right now.
Finally, when I’ve been standing there long enough, the bouncer says, “Hey kid, little young to be here, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I answer simply, still staring at the neon sign indicating the bar’s name. I look at the bouncer and say, “I’m trying to find my uncle. He’s a recovering alcoholic. Or at least…he’s supposed to be recovering.”
The bouncer snorts, which feels a little offensive to me for some reason, and juts his thumb toward the entrance. “Got plenty of them in here.”
“Wonderful,” I mutter.
The bouncer gives me a sympathetic look and then surprises me by saying, “Maybe I can find him for you. You got a picture of him?”
“Really? Yeah, here.” I pull up Dan’s contact picture on my cell phone and show it to the guy.
He makes me promise to wait outside—which I do—and then goes inside. He comes out a few minutes later, dragging my uncle behind him who is swearing up and down that he’s not drunk.
“Ssseriousssly, guy,” Dan slurs, his eyes half-lidded, his face red. “I’m not drunk that much…”
“Yeah, you’ve had enough,” the bouncer tells him, not unkindly, before pushing him in my direction.
Dan bumps into me, starts to apologize, and then realizes who I am. “Elli!” His eyes open a bit in surprise and I can tell he’s trying to act more sober than he is. “What are you doing here?”
I stare at him hard, shaking my head. “You promised. You promised you wouldn’t drink. You promised you’d be there for me and Julian.”
“Elli, I—”
“I don’t even want to hear it, Uncle Dan.” It’s totally rude to cut someone off like that, but then again, he deserves it.
I start to walk away from him and he stumbles after me, but nearly trips over his own feet. I can’t help it—I reach out to stop him from falling. Catching a grown man who’s drunk is not easy, but we manage to stay upright. I sigh, knowing I can’t just leave him like that.
I ask him for his phone, which he gives me without much of a fight. I think he’s too drunk to realize that I intend to call his Get Dry sponsor. Recalling her name—Liz—I look her up in his contacts and hope that she’ll answer.
“Hello?” she sounds groggy, like I woke her, and I feel a little bad. But it’s not even that late, and I hope she’ll understand that I need her.
“Hi, Liz?” I say uncertainly.
“Not her,” Dan whines.
“Yes…” There’s that wispy voice again. When I hear a voice like that, it makes me think the person I’m talking to is made out of thin air.
“Hi, my name is Elli. We met once? I’m—”
“Dan’s niece,” she says quickly. “The boxer. I remember.”
Well, I’m not really a boxer, but I don’t correct her. “Look, I hate to call you like this, but Dan is…well, he’s drunk.”
“Mnot drunk,” Dan says loudly, trying to get close to the phone.
; “He’s not exactly making his case,” Liz says, sounding annoyed. “I’m assuming he’s at Shots again?”
Again? “Yeah,” I answer. “Has he been here a lot lately?”
“Yes,” she says with a wafer-thin sigh. “And he won’t tell me why.”
There’s a pause of expectation and I know she’s waiting to see if I’ll tell her anything. “Sorry, but I wish I knew myself,” I tell her, eyeing Dan. “It might have something to do with my parents, but Dan hasn’t spoken to me since he moved out of our house.”
“Sshhh,” Dan whispers noisily. “Don’t tell her that.”
“Oh, well that’s good to know,” she says, sounding totally ticked off. “Can you hang out for a few minutes with him? I’ll be there soon.”
“Sure,” I say. What else am I supposed to do? I tap off and as I hand Dan his phone back, I say, “Liz is coming.”
“Aw, Elli, why’d you do that?” Dan asks, ripping the phone from my fingers.
“Because you’re a drunk,” I saw unapologetically, staring him straight in the eye.
Dan glowers at me then stares at the pavement. He clumsily shoves the phone into his pocket and says, “You don’t know what it’s like, Elli. You don’t just one day decide you don’t want to be an alcoholic and never drink again. It’s not that simple.”
“Yeah, I get it,” I snap at him. “But you’re supposed to wean off it. Not get drunk over and over again.”
“You can’t just completely cut it out—”
“Well, you can’t just completely cut people out of your life either!” I finally look at him. I’m aware of the bouncer, watching our interaction, probably just on the verge of stepping in if we get too into our argument. I also realize that people are coming and going around the bar’s entrance, so I try to lower my voice and not make a scene. “You let me down, Uncle Dan.”
He sighs wearily. “I know. I’m not perfect, okay?”
I blink back the tears burning at the back of my eyes. “I know you’re not.”
“But you wanted me to be,” he cuts in, looking straight into my eyes. His are a little red, but he seems a whole lot more sober than he was a minute ago. “You had this grand idea that I’d make Julian a world-class fighter in only three months. Three months! What were you thinking?”
I bite back a scathing retort. “I was thinking that maybe it would distract you. That you’d realize there’s more to live for.”
“That’s a little ambitious, don’t you think?” he asks. He’s not joking. I just shrug. “Okay, I get it. I let you down. I let Julian down. I came onto your mom and now everyone hates me—you, Julian, Shauna, Rob…Liz. That is why I’m here. That’s why I’m drinking.”
My eyes open wide and I can barely look my uncle in the eye. “You did what to my mom?”
He frowns and says, “You didn’t know?”
“No!” I see a car coming up in the distance and I wonder if it’s Liz. “Mom just up and went to stay with Grandma.”
“I…I didn’t know,” he says. He’s looking at the car that’s slowly creeping to a stop near us.
“That’s…” I sigh. “Why?” I know he had a thing for her once upon a time, but he said he was over that.
“Sometimes…you just never get over a person,” he admits and it seems like the admission takes all his energy because he’s suddenly droopy and no longer angry. “You know? You just like them so much, but you don’t want to, and you hate yourself for still feeling that way, which makes you resent them even though you still want them. It’s complicated. And I know it was wrong, so I don’t need a little lecture from you.”
“I wasn’t going to lecture you,” I say. And I mean it. What would I even say to him? I have to admit that it’s true that I don’t fully understand everything he’s going through. I glance over to the car where Liz is getting out of the driver’s side.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been hard on you,” I say softly to him.
Dan gives me a look I can’t quite interpret until he says, “I wish I had more Ellis in my life.”
And that’s when I realize the look he gave me is appreciation, which makes me feel kind of good.
Liz stalks up to Dan and slaps him soundly. “Daniel Smith, how dare you leave me hanging for weeks? How dare you let your niece find you like this?”
My eyes are probably the size of saucers. Liz still has that wispy thin voice, but her tone is so no-nonsense it’s not even funny. And I would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of that slap. Can sponsors even do that?
“Liz, I’m sorry,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, I can tell he really is sorry that Liz is mad at him.
“Oh, you haven’t even begun to understand how sorry you’re gonna be,” she tells him sternly.
Strangely enough, Dan just smiles at Liz, and I can see that it’s her undoing. She can’t help smiling back and I know there’s definitely something more going on between them than just a sponsor relationship. I clear my throat to remind them of my presence and quickly get their attention.
Liz’s smile disappears. “I’m taking you both home.”
“I don’t have a home,” Dan mutters darkly, making me wonder where he’s been the last few weeks.
“Just come home with me,” I tell him, extending an olive branch. We get into Liz’s car and I remind him, “Mom’s not even home anyway.”
After a few minutes of quiet driving, Dan says quietly, “Your dad hates me.”
I reach forward and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. He’s your brother,” I say gently.
“I don’t want him to see me like this,” he complains.
“Too bad,” Liz says, turning down a familiar street. “If I take you back to the hotel, I know you’ll just get drunker.”
Dan just slouches down into his seat in response. He sulks silently for the rest of the ride while I think about how he’s been staying in a hotel getting drunk. I hope what Liz said was an exaggeration, but now I’m not so sure. It occurs to me that I don’t really know my uncle as well as I thought I did. I decide at that moment that I will change that. Starting tonight, even.
***
The Plan
Step 1: I’ve already invited Mom and Dad to come watch my fight. I know I won’t do well, but they’ll be proud of me and they’ll have something to do together. They’ll have to figure out the rest of their own.
Step 2: I’m hoping my uncle will come to the fight too, even if he’s done with coaching us. To be honest, there’s not much time left for coaching anyway, if it would even do any good. However, I’m still optimistic that there can be a happily ever after for my family, no matter how messed up things are right now.
Step 3: The dance. I mean, I’ve already technically got a date and a group of friends to go with, but this isn’t about me. It’s about Julian and Cherry. Julian has tentatively agreed to go. Cherry is another issue—I know it’ll be like pulling teeth to get her to go, but if I can do it, then there may still be some hope for her and Jules.
Step 4: More kisses from Adrian. Lots more kisses.
CHAPTER Twenty-one
I can tell Julian is wigging out with it being so close to the tournament. I couldn’t find him in the cafeteria at lunch today—there’s just a group of kids hanging out at our table, presumably waiting for him. So I’ve gone to the library to check if he’s here instead. I figure a nerdy kid like him would take comfort among the stacks.
And of course I found him here, in the sci-fi section, reading a thick book that features a warrior-looking guy on a horse with a long, majestic sword. Julian’s sitting on the floor, pretending he hasn’t noticed that I’m here, so I plop down next to him.
I let him read a minute longer—maybe he has a really long sentence to finish, who knows?—and then I ask, “Are you nervous?”
“That’s an understatement,” he answers without looking up.
I put my hand over the book, about to give him the pep talk of the century but what c
omes out is, “What are you reading?”
“It’s from a series called The Wheel of Time. It’s about…well, a lot of stuff happens.” He shuts the book so I can see the cover more clearly and says, “This was my favourite series when I was younger. I was just trying to distract myself for a bit.”
“Is it working?” I ask gently.
“No.”
“Jules, you’re gonna be fine,” I tell him. But my voice sounds scared even to myself.
“I’m going to lose, Ella,” he says, not quite able to meet my eyes. “Even with Dan and everyone else helping me over the next few days, I know I won’t even last one round. I don’t know why I ever thought I could do this.”
“Because you can.” This time I sound convincing. I think. “Really, I know you can. You’ve come so far. You’re amazing. Everyone believes in you. Did you say Dan is helping you?”
He nods with a frown. “Didn’t you know? I assumed that was your doing…”
I shake my head. “I talked to him a couple of nights ago, but he was drunk, and he didn’t mention it.”
Julian looks at his watch. “It’s almost time for math. I’m failing.”
“What?” I practically shout, having forgotten that I’m sitting in the library.
Julian stands up and reaches a hand down for me. “Well, okay, I’m getting a seventy-five, but still. I’ve never gotten lower than eighty-two in anything.”
I start to laugh, but then stop at the death glare he gives me. “Sorry, for a second I thought you were joking.”
“It’s not a joke,” he says, sounding irritated. “I haven’t had time for homework because of this tournament that I don’t even want to do. And it makes me look stupid. It makes me feel stupid.”
“Julian, you’re not—”
“I can’t box and I don’t have good grades, so where does that leave me?” he continues. He’s not even looking at me. “Nowhere. That’s where it leaves me.”
I’m not sure what to say so I just follow him out of the library. He gives me a weird look which I return with a frown.