Tatyana nodded. “We weren’t even expecting you to come to this meeting, considering… well, you know.”
“I’m up to it.” I lowered my gaze defensively. I might have been broken, but there was still fuel in the tank.
“You should probably make a start on those ‘less self-aware Purge beasts,’ in case you accidentally put Tobe in a fit of hysterics or something that he can’t get out of.” Santana’s tone was warm and encouraging, making me feel calmer.
“Yeah, it was freaking weird seeing a lion-man sobbing in the infirmary.” Finch chuckled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “No offense, Tobe.”
Tobe shot him a warning look.
Finch looked embarrassed. “Sorry, I haven’t taken my polite pills today.” As if remembering, he slipped his hand into his pocket and took out a brown bottle. Tipping a yellow tablet into his hand, he tossed it into his mouth and swallowed. Chasing your demons away… I wished there was a pill that could chase mine away, but that was a slippery slope I didn’t want to be heading down.
“It sounds like a good plan to me, too, and I’m ready to go whenever the rest of you are. But I agree on the less self-aware beastie angle. You’re the same as Naima, Tobe, but I might need a more unwilling participant than you. Thing is, you want to help me, and you’re a friend of mine who wants to see me succeed, which means you might not go all-in to try and defeat me. But I’m sure there are some beasts in your Bestiary who’d be the kind of aggressive participant we need, like Santana said.”
Tobe smiled. “You make an excellent point. I will arrange something suitable.”
“Thanks, Tobe.” I steeled myself, standing tall beside Wade.
They were right, it was a good idea to go after Naima, but my mind wasn’t exactly focused on that right now. Instead, I had two clear roads ahead of me: Alton and the Grimoire. I needed to move now, before I got entangled in this Purge-beast manipulation training. “But before we do, I was wondering if I could have a word with you, Alton?”
My words hung in the air for a moment, with everyone turning to look at our former director. He didn’t seem too surprised by my request. It was almost like he’d been expecting it, ever since I’d mentioned that I needed my mom and dad to fulfill the Hidden Things spell. Well, this was his moment to tell me what he’d wanted to say. But not here.
He nodded. “Of course. Should we step outside?”
“You read my mind,” I replied, before looking to the others. “If you all get things ready, I’ll come back and start training.”
Leaving the rest of the Rag Team to get on with their tasks, mainly my training prep and proceeding with Rita’s interrogation, Alton and I crossed the Bestiary together and stepped out into the hallway beyond. There were a few security magicals wandering about, prompting us to continue walking until we found a private alcove far enough away from the main entrance of the Bestiary. There, Alton glanced around before turning to me.
“I know what you’re going to ask,” he said.
“You do?”
He paled. “I hope I’m not right, but I have a feeling you want to ask me to resurrect your mother and father so you can complete the spell to find hidden things. I saw it in your eyes, back there.”
“Maybe you can read my mind, after all.”
He shook his head. “If that’s what you really want to ask of me, then this isn’t the time or the place to discuss it. If you decide on this course of action, then we’ll have to meet up later, in absolute privacy. A Necromancer can receive a lifetime sentence in Purgatory for even joking about something like this.”
“Fine, then we’ll talk about it later. But we’re going to talk about it.”
“I thought you might say that.” He sighed in exasperation. “I’ll just give you this one warning. Before you come to me, I want you to think long and hard about what it is you’re asking. I want you to think about the consequences, and the improbability, and the effect it may have, not only on you and me, but on them, too. If you still decide you want to talk about it, then I’ll be waiting.”
I didn’t say a word. I just kept on looking at him. I should’ve been feeling disheartened or worried, but I wasn’t. We’d had so much doom and gloom in the last twenty-four hours that I had no room for more. Instead, the very fact that he hadn’t immediately said, “No, it can’t be done. There’s no way,” bolstered that tiny flame of hope that flickered in my chest. Instead of snuffing it out, he’d unwittingly added fuel.
And I was going to keep that damn flame burning.
Three
Harley
Frustrated that I’d have to wait to speak to Alton about resurrecting my parents, I went back into the Bestiary to join the others. Alton had gone on his way to see if Imogene needed help with her Mage Council meeting.
“I had a thought about your training, Harley,” Tobe said when I arrived. “It will take some time to prepare, but I will inform you when everything is ready. I assure you, it will be worth the wait, as I would hate for you to waste your valuable time by working upon imps and leprechauns. Please, accept my apologies for the delay.” He paused. “Although, I am certain it is past time that you rested. Sleep, my friend, and return when all is prepared.”
I glanced at the others, who seemed a little shifty. I could feel a tiny hint of guilt slithering away from them—nothing major, but enough to convince me that they’d colluded on this while I was out of the room with Alton. They clearly wanted me to get some rest, after everything that had happened, and had seized an opportunity to clear my schedule for a bit. I probably looked as hideous as I felt, but resting up was the last thing on my mind. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to sleep. Nightmares would be waiting; I was pretty sure of that.
I nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.” I didn’t mean it, but I didn’t want to get into an argument with Wade and the others. They were worried about me, and their concerns came from a good place. If I had to lie and say I was going to get some rest, just to ease their own grief-stricken minds, then so be it.
“We’re just going to stay here a while longer, to help Tobe,” Santana said. “Wade will take you back to the living quarters, and if you need anything—anything at all—you just drop one of us a text, you hear?” She gave Wade a less-than-subtle nod, before flashing me a warm grin.
“I will,” I replied, as I turned away and started to walk toward the living quarters. Wade hurried to catch up, the two of us falling in step. He didn’t say anything; he just held my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze every now and again. It was enough for him just to be there. The only trouble was, if I was going to continue my journey without him, I’d have to learn how to walk alone.
“Do you want me to come in?” Wade lifted his hand to my face as we paused in the doorway of my room. “I can hold you until you fall asleep, if you want. Or we could talk for a while. I know you probably don’t feel like sleeping, but it might be easier if you’re not by yourself, thinking of everything.”
I dropped my gaze and covered his hand with mine, bringing his fingertips to my lips. I kissed them gently, fighting back tears for the millionth time that day. “I’d prefer to be on my own, if that’s okay. I need to sit with my thoughts. And if I need to scream into my pillow, I’d rather you weren’t there to see it. I know you wouldn’t mind, but… call it a pride thing.”
“Okay.” He leaned closer and put his arms around me, kissing my hair. “I love you, Harley.”
I held him tightly, burying my face in his chest. “I love you, too.”
“If you change your mind, or it gets to be too much, you know where to find me. Call or text me anytime, and I’ll be here before you know it.”
“I will,” I murmured. “I will.”
“I’m so sorry, Harley.”
I held him tighter. “I know. Me, too.”
* * *
Two hours later, unable to bear the silence of my bedroom, and knowing the others would be busy, I slipped out of the living quarters and headed through the mostly
empty coven, not stopping until I reached the Crypt. With news of Isadora’s death having spread rapidly through the SDC, those who had other places to go had taken the opportunity to do so, sharing in their shock and grief away from the site where she’d died. Fear had urged them away from these hallways, too, and I didn’t blame them.
I made it through the thick, iron doors that led down into the belly of the coven, the security officers letting me pass after I sent a wave of reverse Empathy at them. I wasn’t wasting any time on debating why they should let me pass, so I’d persuaded them with emotion instead. Now, they couldn’t look at me, and mumbled awkwardly, but I didn’t care. They weren’t important. I just wanted to see my aunt for the very last time. I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to speak with her spirit, the way I’d done with my mom, but I had to say goodbye however I could.
Heading through the rock-hewn passageway to the set of stairs that led into the main body of the Crypt, I froze. In the center of the wide, flat expanse, in front of the towering wall of mausoleums on the far side, lay two altars. Someone had put them here, presumably Alton. Two still bodies lay on the plinths, their shapes visible but vague beneath black silk cloths. I noticed gold embroidery across the silk, forming a spread of charms. It’s too late for charms now. If Isadora and Suri’s spirits had already passed on, as Alton had said, then what was the use of protective hexes? What was the use in glyphs, to guide them into the afterlife? They were already gone.
Steeling myself, I headed down the stone stairwell and made my way toward the bodies. Skirting around the smaller of the two, and feeling sick to my stomach that a teenager had died, I paused in front of Isadora’s altar. I wanted to see her face, but, at the same time, I didn’t know if I could handle what I might see. You have to. You owe it to her to look at her when you say goodbye. With my hand shaking, I drew the black silk carefully down to my aunt’s shoulders.
Her face was deathly pale, her lips colorless, her eyes closed. Someone had done their best to clean her up, but I could see a few spots of dried blood across her neck and on the underside of her jaw, in the shadows there. Touching my thumb to her icy cold skin, I brushed away those rusty flecks, hating the way they marred her. I didn’t want her to be buried with any hint of what Katherine had done evident on her body.
I tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear and glanced down at her unmoving face. Everyone always said that the newly dead looked as though they were sleeping, but that wasn’t true. There was a tension around my aunt’s mouth and eyes, leaving an echo of her final expression—anger and sadness and fear. Her death mask, to be worn to the grave.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my knees buckling. I clasped her hand beneath the black silk and held it tight. “I’m so sorry, Isadora. I don’t know if you can hear me, but… please don’t leave me. I need you, now more than ever.”
Silence boomed back.
“But you’ve already gone, haven’t you?” Tears trickled down my cheeks, falling onto the silk. “You’re gone, because I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t stop Katherine, and now… now you’re dead, and you’re never coming back.” I sank down to the dusty ground, my hand still gripping Isadora’s. “I’ve lost you and I don’t know what to do. I know you weren’t physically in my life for very long, but you were always there, I know you were. And, when you did come back into my life, you were the one to give me guidance and to keep me on the right path, but how do I know which way to go, without you here to tell me?”
The continued echo of silence stung like a barrage of arrows in my chest.
“You never gave up on us,” I went on, desperate to fill that painful quiet. “You never gave up on me or Jacob. The moment we both met you, we knew we had family. I had a link to my past and a hope for my future. I had your stories, and your memories, and your love, and I’ll never forget any of it. I’ll miss you until the day I die, and I’ll love you beyond that, until I see you again, one of these days. You might not have been tied to Jacob by blood, but you were so much more to him than a friend—you were a mom, a tutor, a guiding light. We both loved you so very much. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him, when he wakes up… if he wakes up.” I shook my head in despair. “I couldn’t protect him, Isadora. I should’ve been there. I should’ve stopped her. I should’ve known that Katherine would come down hard on us as soon as we finished that freaking detector.”
A figure appeared at the top of the stone staircase. Cast in the flickering shadows of the torchlight, I couldn’t quite tell who it was until they were almost at the altars, but I didn’t sense any danger. I just felt an overwhelming surge of grief, added to my own.
“Louella?” I saw her, at last, as she came to stand between the two plinths. Her eyes were red and puffy, her lips cracked from the salt of her tears.
“I didn’t know you’d be down here,” she replied quietly. “Wade came to the infirmary. He said you were asleep.”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I can go if you want to be on your own.” She dropped her gaze. “I just wanted to come and… say goodbye.” Her voice caught in her throat, and she covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking as the sobs came.
“No, no, you have as much right to be here as I do.” I moved around to her side of the altar and put my hand on her shoulder. “I know you and Isadora were close. She thought very highly of you. We all do.” Louella was yet another stray that Isadora had taken under her wing. We all had so much to thank my aunt for, and now that chance had been taken from us.
She nodded. “I just can’t believe she’s gone. She made me feel like she really, truly cared, when I thought I’d never have anyone to look out for me again.” A sob escaped her throat. “It’s like losing the Devereauxs all over again.”
“I’m sorry, Louella.” I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. She was still just a kid herself, and she’d already lost so much. Even here, where she’d thought she’d be safe, she was still losing people she cared about. And now, she was the only person who could do anything about Jacob. That was a lot of pressure, given the stakes. Jacob was her friend, and that desperation to wake him up would eat away at her if she wasn’t careful. I could already see signs of it in the dark circles under her eyes and the raspy tone of her weary voice.
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” She pulled away slightly and rubbed the tears from her eyes. “I shouldn’t be the one crying like this. This has got to be way more painful for you. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking.”
“Hey, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for. We’re all in pain right now. Nobody is hurting more or less than anyone else. Feel what you have to feel. It won’t do anyone any good to bottle things up.” I realized I was relaying the words that Imogene had said to me, but they were pretty useful.
“I was so harsh to Suri, too.” Louella glanced down at the still-shrouded face of the dead girl. “She must’ve thought I hated her. I didn’t, I really didn’t. I just wanted to keep Jacob safe and stop him from risking his neck. But I didn’t manage to do that, did I? And now she’s gone, and he’s… well, he’s stuck inside his own skull and I can’t get him out.”
“I’m sure she knew you didn’t hate her,” I replied. “She’ll have known you were only looking out for Jacob’s best interests. And we all know you’re trying your best with your Telepathy. It’s going to take time, and… and we all need to understand the possibility that he might never snap out of it. I don’t want you to snap under the pressure of fixing him.”
Louella stared hopelessly at me. “I have to, Harley. I have to fix him. We have to know what happened in that room, and we have to have him back with us. I’ll work and work until I’ve got nothing left, to bring him back.”
I smiled sadly. “I know you will. I just don’t want you putting yourself in a hospital bed while you’re trying to help him. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself?” Why did it sound like I was already saying goodbye to my friends? I sh
ook the thought away. I hadn’t made that decision yet.
“I will, as long as you promise the same.”
“I’ll try.”
Louella sighed and straightened out her graphic tee. Today’s design was the Jurassic Park logo, with “Dinosaur Supervisor” written underneath. I would have laughed, if I’d had the energy. “What do you think of all this?” She gestured to Suri and Isadora. “What happened in Krieger’s office, I mean, not… well, not the obvious. I keep going through everything, to think of what we might’ve missed—like, if we should have noticed something that would have let us know an attack was coming. I can’t stop thinking about how weird the timing was. Like, how would Katherine have known to strike after we’d finished the detector?”
“I’ve wondered that, too.”
Her eyes widened. “It is weird, isn’t it?”
“Katherine’s playing some kind of game with us. I don’t know if Rita is involved, but I’m guessing we’ll find out soon enough.”
“Astrid and LaSalle finished interrogating her about ten minutes ago, as far as I know.”
I frowned. “What did they find?”
“According to Astrid, the Rita that’s in the SDC right now is clean. She’s not a Shapeshifter, and LaSalle couldn’t sense any deception in her emotions. She was just frightened and horrified that Katherine had used her image. She’s even promised to wear one of those old bodycams, to prove her innocence.”
“Is it weird that I wanted it to be Rita, that I wanted her to be the culprit?”
Louella shook her head. “I think we all did, just so we’d have an answer.”
Volunteering to wear a bodycam was a bold move, and it went some way toward lessening my suspicions of Rita. They hadn’t gone away entirely, and probably never would, but at least she was being proactive in trying to defend herself and show she hadn’t been involved.
Harley Merlin 8: Harley Merlin and the Challenge of Chaos Page 3