“There’s no way of knowing how long these bodies will hold your spirits, Hiram, Hester,” Alton wheezed. The cracked, raspy tone of his voice made me turn over my shoulder. He was sitting on the ground beside the casket, his eyelids blinking slowly, his face pale and sweaty.
“We also have no way of knowing how long we may have until Mr. Waterhouse begins to Purge,” Davin added. “The last thing we need is a rampant Purge beast running amok whilst you try to complete your spell. It will be difficult enough, from what Alton has told me, without such an inconvenience.”
“Spell?” My dad frowned.
I nodded. “That’s why I brought you back. I need your help with one of the spells you wrote in the Grimoire. It needs all three of us. For it to work, we all need to sink into Euphoria and find a sliver of memory that’s been buried deep. At least, that’s what I think we need to do. Although, it’s your spell, so maybe you can help me out?”
My mom shook her head. “I… I can’t remember what we wrote in that Grimoire. Can you, Hiram?”
“No, I don’t think I can,” he replied. “It’s all a bit hazy, but it always was. Chaos channeled into us and wrote through us, but it was hard, even then, to grasp what we were actually putting into the book.”
That wasn’t good. I’d been so sure that they would be able to guide me through the spells they’d written down, but apparently they were as stumped as I was.
“We always had a sense of what we were writing, but the words never really connected in our heads,” my mom explained, her brow furrowed.
“I do remember one thing, though.” My dad stared at my mom, as though the memory of what he’d done was coming back in full force. Fresh tears brimmed in his eyes, his mouth half open, like he wanted to cry out. “I do remember writing one last spell, on my own. Your mom wasn’t there. I was alone.”
I struggled with my words. “I know the one you’re talking about. It’s the last entry.”
“Chaos made me write it, but there was more urgency than there’d been before,” he replied, speaking in a stilted manner, as if he were saying things the moment they emerged in his mind. “It’s the single most dangerous spell that’s ever been written. I remember that. I remember thinking it, as I wrote it. I was crying, though… Why was I crying? I remember anger and grief, and an internal battle… but why? I can’t remember why.” I could hear the frustration in his voice as he stared at Hester.
“Because you were about to kill me,” my mom said quietly. “You were under the Sal Vínna curse when you wrote that last spell. You couldn’t fight it. Even when you were standing in front of me, you couldn’t fight it. It was too strong.”
My dad’s mouth fell open. “Hester…”
“I forgave you the moment I saw you and knew what was going to happen.” She smiled up at him with so much love that it took my breath away. “Katherine killed me, not you. You were merely her weapon. You couldn’t have resisted. I could see you battling until the very last moment, but you were too far gone.”
“My love… how could I have done that to you?” Tears fell down his cheeks as he moved to touch her face, brushing back the phantom hair and gazing deep into her eyes.
“Because you had no choice.” She looped her arms around his neck, as though there were nobody else in the room. I didn’t know whether to look away or keep watching. This moment felt too private for anyone to see.
“Why couldn’t I remember?” He brushed his thumb across her cheek.
“It was the afterlife’s gift to you, to get rid of all the bad memories and leave only the good ones,” she replied. “You were never supposed to remember, and I was never going to tell you. But, just know, I don’t blame you. I never did. My sister took me away from you, and she took me away from our daughter, and I could never forgive her for that, even if I had a thousand more years stuffed in a jar.”
“I’m so sorry.” My dad pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck. “I’m so sorry I did that to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t remember. You must have been carrying that burden for so long.”
“Hey, none of that matters now,” she whispered. “I love you, and I will always love you, and nothing Katherine did, or could do, will ever change that.”
“I love you, Hester. I love you so much.”
Davin cleared his throat, making me want to punch him right in his Adam’s apple. “I really must insist that we start on your spell, Harley. Otherwise we will lose our window of opportunity.”
“The last spell?” My dad looked at me in alarm.
I shook my head. “Not just yet. I need to find out how to read the Grimoire first. That’s why you’re here. That’s the spell I need your help for. Here.” I darted to the spot behind the iron fence and took up the book, bringing it back over and opening it up. I thought about flipping straight to the Hidden Things spell, but curiosity urged me to flick to the back, where that last, terrible spell was written. “Do you know what this says?”
My dad took a shaky breath as he looked at the strange writing. “No… I can’t read it. Is that the last spell I wrote?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t even know what language that is.” He traced his fingertips across it, but nothing happened. “Hester, can you read this?”
She eyed the script and shook her head. “No, I have no idea. Is it a form of Arabic?”
“Maybe, but the symbols aren’t quite the same.”
“Wait.” My dad froze.
“What is it?” My heart lurched.
“I can’t remember the actual spell, but I know what it was intended for. It’s supposed to destroy Katherine,” he replied. “But, if you’re going to do this, you’ll need to be fast with it. There’s no guarantee it’ll work once she ascends as a Child of Chaos. All of these spells were intended to be used to stop her before that point, so I don’t know if they’ll still work afterward.”
“How do you know that?” my mom said.
He frowned. “It’s like remembering a dream. Bits and pieces come back to you, but not the whole thing. I think Chaos had me write this once Katherine had put the Sal Vínna curse on me.” He paused. “I think I knew what I was about to do, and I knew I couldn’t give in without fighting back another way. Letting Chaos take over for those few minutes must have been the best I could do. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Hester. And to you, Harley—I took your mom away, and I—”
“I don’t blame you, Dad,” I interjected. “Like Mom, I forgave you a long time ago. I was the one who found out you were under the curse. I went to New York and I looked at the pictures, and I knew you weren’t the one responsible. What you did was Katherine’s doing, not yours. It was all her. One day, I’ll clear your name… if I make it through this fight with Katherine.”
“Oh Harley…” He reached out and took my hand.
“Speaking of Katherine.” I took a deep breath. “She murdered Isadora.”
My dad’s face fell. “What?”
“She killed her, and Alton couldn’t resurrect her. He tried, but there was nothing he could do. This is why I’m here, calling on you both, so we can end that bitch for good and stop her from killing anyone else.” My voice cracked.
“About time,” I heard Davin mutter. I glared at him. Beside him, on the ground, Alton really didn’t look good. He’d gone a waxy shade of blue, his lips colorless, his hair drenched in sweat and plastered to his forehead. It spurred me on, knowing we had to get this spell done before any Purge beasts could spring out and surprise us, wrecking this whole thing before it had even gotten off the ground.
“Usually I would tell you to mind your language, but in this case, I think it’s entirely called for,” my mom replied, her voice bitter with anger and sadness.
“Then we should get started on this spell, so we can make that happen,” my dad agreed, his eyes swimming with grief. “Nobody else is going to die because of her. Not if we can help it. So, what do you need us to do?”
I turned the page to the Hidden
Things spell and let them read through the instructions. “I just need to add the alchemical catalyst, and then we can start with the Euphoria.”
“I’m sorry it’s come to this, Harley,” my dad said, squeezing my hand.
“Me, too. But if it stops Katherine, then it won’t seem so bad.” I let go of his hand and moved toward the three bowls of ingredients that I’d mixed. Taking the tube of purple liquid, I applied three drops to each one and carried them back over to my mom and dad. I handed one to each of them, while leaving the third for myself.
“We should sit,” my mom said. “And put the bowl in your lap.”
“Do you remember how to do this?” I asked, surprised.
She smiled uncertainly. “It’s coming back to me. Do you have the Sherlock’s Eye?”
I nodded and took it out of my pocket. “What do I do with it?”
“Put the Grimoire in the very center of the triangle we’re about to make, and put the Sherlock’s Eye on top of the Hidden Things spell,” she replied. Man, am I glad you’re here. “And the ghoul bones? You’ll need those.”
“Ghoul bones. Right.” I hurried over to the altar and took the box of ghoul bones, which had all returned to their resting place inside. Closing the lid, I carried them back to my mom and dad.
Together, we sat down in a scrappy triangle. As instructed, I put the bowl in my lap and placed the Sherlock’s Eye in the center, while my mom took the ghoul bones and scattered them in a vague circle around us. Then she took my hand while reaching for my dad’s, too. Following suit, I took my dad’s hand, and the triangle was complete. I waited until they’d closed their eyes before I did the same, trying to remember everything I’d been taught about getting into a state of Euphoria. Breathing deeply, I let my thoughts fade away, working through each thought in my head until there was nothing left, like clearing out a warehouse. I needed to find the hidden boxes at the back of that warehouse, and I couldn’t do that with everything else getting in the way.
Moving through my memories as quickly as I could, I finally felt myself teeter over the edge of reality and into Euphoria, like I’d done with Nomura in his study.
Blackness swallowed me whole.
Thirty
Harley
The darkness receded, but I wasn’t somewhere in the depths of my mind anymore.
Instead, I was standing in the nursery that should’ve been mine, with mini-me Harley sitting in the lap of a gigantic bunny, wafting its fluffy paws in a wave.
This isn’t right.
Euphoria wasn’t like this the last time. There’d been no nursery, no mini-me, and definitely no six-foot stuffed rabbit. I should’ve been in the darkest recesses of my mind by now, sifting through all my memories until I found the ones I’d buried deep—ones I didn’t even remember, because I’d chosen not to.
“What’s going on? Why am I here?” I stared at the little version of me, who just giggled. Creepy as ever.
“Did you think you’d have to wade through all that stuff in your head?” she replied. “Ha, Wade. Get it? Speaking of that poor boy, he’s still trying to wrestle free of those entrapment stones. He’s not going to be very happy with you when you see him again.”
I frowned. “Does that mean I am going to see him again?” That worried me. There were only two reasons I’d be seeing Wade again. One, if I managed to survive this and stop Katherine in her tracks. Two, if he tried to come to my aid, even after I’d tried to escape him. The first filled me with excitement, but the latter… that wasn’t going to happen, not on my watch.
She shrugged. “How should I know?” Ah yes, mini-me, the all-knowing, never-telling pain in my ass. I’d forgotten just how charming she could be.
“So, why aren’t I in Euphoria right now? That’s what I’m supposed to be doing, and this sure as heck isn’t Euphoria.”
She giggled, the sound making the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. “You are different now, Harley. You will never come to experience Euphoria like an ordinary magical ever again. This state you are currently in… it transcends it all. Euphoria is child’s play compared to what you can do with that mind of yours. Our mind.”
“Can you just tell me where I am? No riddles.”
“Chaos rules, Harley. Chaos rules.”
I pulled a sour face. “I swear, if one more person says, ‘Chaos rules,’ I’m going to spontaneously combust.”
She chuckled. “Chaos rules.”
“Is this Chaos then?”
Mini-me pouted, like I’d spoiled her game. “In a way, yes. You are connected to the Grimoire and the Chaos within you on a much deeper level than before. You’ve opened a gateway, and that cannot be closed until you choose to close it… or it is closed for you.” She flapped the bunny’s paw, as if she was telling me off. “You should be grateful. This is much better than struggling through Euphoria, isn’t it? At least, here, there’s no risk of getting trapped in astral planes by desperate preceptors.”
“Can I find this memory sliver here?” I looked around the room, but nothing jumped out at me. I half expected there to be a box or something, with a great big X on top, marking the spot. But this place was just an echo of something that could’ve been; it wasn’t anything I wasn’t willing to remember. I wouldn’t have minded forgetting creepy little mini-me for a while, but that was beside the point. This was part of something created by my mom and dad. This wasn’t my memory, so that sliver, or whatever it was, couldn’t be here. Could it?
“As if it would be that simple.” Mini-me laughed. “Did you think I was going to hand over your piece of the key, like a gatekeeper? Perhaps I should have raided the dress-up box for something more appropriate. A robe or something.”
“Then where is it? I don’t have time for your games.”
“Your piece of the key is hidden in your most painful memory.” Mini-me’s voice suddenly turned serious, the bunny arms falling to the toy’s sides. “It can be found in the one memory you have forced away, time and time again, hidden deep in your subconscious mind. And, my goodness, there have been some cowboys in there.”
“Hey, that’s our subconscious you’re talking about,” I muttered. “But what’s the memory? If it’s something awful, surely I’d be able to remember it.”
“You need to dig deep, deeper than you have ever gone before, so that you can pluck up the memory and embrace it. Make peace, and you’ll… well, you’ll find the piece. Pretty clever, right?”
“Pretty stressful, actually.”
Mini-me grinned. “You must embrace your pain, down to the last drop. Leave nothing unturned. Leave no emotions behind. Only then will you have access to what you need.”
“I’ve got some questions first.”
She shrugged. “It’s your ticking time bomb. If you wish to waste valuable seconds on questions, then who am I to stop you?”
She was right, but there was something I had to know. “Why are there three pieces of this key? How and why did Chaos do that? If it was written by my mom and dad, it should only have been two pieces, so they could easily access it in the future, right? I mean, I don’t think they even knew that I—I mean, we—existed when this spell was written. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Chaos knew. Chaos knows all,” mini-me replied.
“Chaos knew about me?”
She nodded. “You were already a seed, starting to unfurl. It sensed you. It knew you existed before your mother and father did.”
“Okay, say that’s true. Why complicate it that much further? Why not keep it to two easy pieces?”
“Your mother and father didn’t know you were given a piece of the puzzle when the spell was written, as you’ve stated,” she explained. “Hester was pregnant and had yet to find out, but Chaos foresaw a few choice things, as it likes to do. Katherine things, to be more specific.”
Understanding dawned. “My mom and dad’s deaths, you mean?”
“Exactly.” She took up a bunny paw and tapped it against her chin. “Una
ble to intervene directly, or stop the deaths of your parents, Chaos had little choice but to leave small loopholes for the most capable of magicals to prove they had what it takes to complete these quests and get a peek inside the Grimoire.”
“You mean me?”
“It would appear your head has swollen since we last met,” she replied. “But yes, I mean you. Of course I mean you. Who else would I mean? There’s nobody else who can get close to the Grimoire. At least not right now…”
I struggled not to lose my temper. “I just wanted to check. And what do you mean, ‘not right now’? Are you talking about Katherine? Will she be able to read it when she ascends?” Panic hit me.
“Chaos rules, Harley. Chaos rules.”
I swear to all that is good, I’d strangle her if she weren’t me. “Helpful.”
“I try.” She grinned. “You see, this was never really about Hester or Hiram. They were vessels—avenues through which Chaos could set fail-safes in place. It was always about the endgame, and the one who can bring the spells to life.” She smiled eerily. “Chaos prepared all of this for you. Isn’t that nice?”
“Not the word I would’ve used.”
She snickered. “I’m glad we’re funny. You’ll need that humor in the dark days to come, especially when it comes to actually defeating Katherine… or failing miserably. That’s all on your rather masculine shoulders now. The pieces of the game have been on the board for a long time. They have just been waiting for the players to take their positions. And you have taken your sweet time.”
“Well, if Chaos had just told me all of this, we’d be well ahead of this so-called game, so don’t start pointing fingers at me,” I shot back. Chaos was really starting to get on my nerves. If it had wanted me to know all of this, why hadn’t it just said so earlier, when we weren’t down to the wire? Chaos rules. I could’ve punched myself for thinking it.
Harley Merlin 8: Harley Merlin and the Challenge of Chaos Page 26