So why didn’t I feel happier?
He frowned and looked down at the body beside him, an expression of heartbreak passing over his face as he realized what had happened.
“She had to leave,” I murmured. I knew Alton hadn’t had any choice in letting my mom go, but I’d wanted longer. It had been hard enough saying goodbye to her on Eris Island, but to have to do it twice was just plain cruel.
“I was worried about that.” Our dad pressed his fingers to his lips, kissing them, before placing them on the lips of the corpse. It was weird to watch, but I understood why he had to do it. It was his way of saying goodbye, until they met again. He unfurled the corpse’s hand and took out the sliver of matte-black glass, putting it with his own piece. He glanced curiously at Finch as he got up and approached tentatively.
“Dad?” Finch murmured.
Hiram frowned. “You must have me confused with someone else…?”
“Actually, he’s right,” I said. “This is Finch Shipton. He’s Katherine’s son—yours and Katherine’s son. But don’t worry, he’s on our side, not hers.”
My dad looked shocked. “My son?”
“Surprise!” Finch said weakly, waggling his hands. Even though I couldn’t read him with my Empathy, I could see the turmoil of emotions washing over his face. Sadness, anger, regret, and a flicker of something like relief. “I guess you never knew about me, huh?”
“No… Katherine never said a word.” My dad came closer, putting his hand against Finch’s cheek, as though he needed to touch him to believe it. “You look like me, aside from the hair.”
He really does. Having only had vague dreams of my dad, I’d never realized just how much Finch resembled him, until now. Standing face-to-face, there was no denying where Finch had come from. There were hints of Katherine here and there, but the majority was Hiram, even in the wry turning up of his mouth.
“Blond isn’t my natural color. It’s red, like Katherine’s.” Finch mustered a laugh. “But all the good I’ve got came from you, not my mother. Not like Harley. She got the best of both worlds, in more ways than one. Do you know how crazy powerful she is?” I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not, given that he was playing up his usual Finchy behavior.
“I’ve seen what Harley can do, yes,” my dad replied, with a proud smile. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t powerful. Everyone has different qualities, but that doesn’t make any of them superior. I suppose I can’t comment, since I don’t know you, but if you have those bloodlines, then there’s no way you can be ordinary.”
Finch looked wounded for a moment. “No, you’re right, you don’t know me.”
“I’m sorry for that. I promise you, I had no idea you existed. I might not even believe it now, if you didn’t look so much like me.” He took his hand away. “She didn’t tell me, Finch. If she’d told me, I would’ve looked out for you. I would’ve done whatever I could to get you away from her. I don’t believe any child should be taken away from their parents, but with Katherine it’s a different story.”
Finch shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. She never wanted me as anything more than a lapdog. She probably only kept me alive so she could control me in a way she couldn’t do with you. Not without whacking a great big curse on you, anyway. You know, showing the mighty Hiram Merlin who was getting the last laugh.”
“I’m so sorry.” My dad’s voice broke. “I should have known. She said she had a surprise for me. I was supposed to go and see her, but I didn’t. Hester told me not to go, so I stayed away. I wonder… if I’d gone, what might’ve happened?”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” Finch replied. “She’d have still gone batty, and she’d still be trying to ascend, and she’d still have put that curse on you and killed everyone in her family. She’d probably have told you about me, then pushed you off a cliff or something. Something suitably Katherine. And she’d have been majorly pissed that she didn’t get to see the look on your face when she told you, and that she didn’t get to shove one last monologue in before she forced you under her control.”
“I’m still sorry. I wish I’d known about you.”
“What can I say, the latest batch of Merlins seem to be doomed in one way or another. It’s why I keep telling Harley that we need to stick together.” He shot me a weighted look. “She’s got other ideas, apparently. Keeps running off.”
My dad looked at me. “Is that true?”
“I’ve got my reasons.” I felt like I was getting an “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” bit of telling off. Davin was watching with interest, an amused smile on his face. I bet you’re loving this, aren’t you? Well, at least he was useful. Without him here, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
“What reasons?” Finch shot back.
I sighed. “I’ve got some, and they’re good ones, and that’s all you need to know. Now, you need to get out of here.”
“I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” he replied. “Do you know how much of a ball-ache it was to get here in the first place?”
“No, I don’t. Why don’t you enlighten me?” I held my ground. I wasn’t going to let him make me feel guilty for saving his life, in the long run. And I wasn’t going to let him or our dad persuade me to let him in on this, though he was likely putting a few of the pieces together.
“I followed you,” he replied. “I’ve had Kenzie tracking you as a ladybug since you ditched me in Waterfront Park. Clever, I know. No need to applaud me. And before you get on your high horse, I was worried. That’s all there is to it. Oh, and you’re not the only one who can rustle up a bit of magic chalk when needed. So you can Aperi Si Ostium my ass.”
My jaw dropped. “So, does that mean—”
“I know what you’re up to? Yes indeedy. But don’t crap your pants, I haven’t told anyone yet. Mainly because I actually understand why you don’t want anyone knowing. I would’ve understood if you’d just told me, but you forced me to use my wily ways by running off every two seconds. To be honest, I was 99 percent sure you were knocked up.”
A horrified gasp escaped my dad’s mouth, and my cheeks started to burn like nobody’s business. The last thing I wanted was my dad, to whom I was going to have to say goodbye, knowing about my damn love life. This wasn’t the lasting impression I wanted, for me or him.
“Finch!” I barked.
He raised his hands in apology. “My bad. But hey, good news—you definitely aren’t, so we don’t have that to deal with, on top of everything else. Although, that would probably have been easier to swallow than you feeding me a bunch of lies, even if you do have a good reason. I get why you’re trying to protect Wade and the others, but it stings, Sis, that you couldn’t trust me with this. I mean, I’m disposable, right? I’m ready for whatever wacko crap you’re about to get yourself into. Bring it ooooon, man!”
Out of nowhere, my eyes welled with tears. “What do you mean you’re disposable? You aren’t disposable.” I struggled to hold back a sob. “You don’t get it, do you? I knew you wouldn’t. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you what I was doing.”
“That doesn’t—” Finch started, but I talked over him.
“You made your promise to the Chains of Truth, Finch. Did you think I’d forget about that? I know what’s at stake. I know they aren’t premonitions, but if there’s even a hint of anything happening to you, I’m going to do whatever I have to, to make sure it never happens!” Emotions were pouring out of me, and I had to grapple with them so I didn’t end up reverse-Empathizing the crap out of everyone in the church.
Finch looked startled. “But… I’ve never been important. Lapdog, remember?”
“You’re not my lapdog, Finch. You’re not my sidekick. You’re my brother, and you’re my friend. And you’re not freaking disposable, so don’t you dare say that again!”
“She’s right, son.” Our dad glanced at him. “I don’t know what Katherine did to you to make you feel that way, but if you’ve helped Harley get t
his far, then you’re worthy of everything she’s said. To have gone through what you must’ve suffered and come out the other side as a good man—that’s remarkable in and of itself. And you said you weren’t special.” He gave a small, sad smile. “If I were to guess, I’d say that’s your power, that’s your gift. Throughout history, every hero has needed someone equally heroic at their side. That’s you, Finch. I may not know you, but I can tell that much.”
“That’s just a nicer way of saying ‘sidekick.’” Finch lowered his gaze, but I could see that he was pleased.
“You wouldn’t be here if you were just a sidekick. You would’ve obeyed when Harley asked you to stay away. The fact that you disobeyed shows how much you care, and it shows that you’re supposed to be with her, as brother and sister, facing whatever comes next.” He paused. “And I’m glad that I got to see you both before I have to go again. If I’d never had this chance to meet you, I fully believe there’d have been a piece of me missing for the rest of my afterlife.”
Finch looked like he was fighting back tears. “I’m sorry she killed you, and I’m so sorry she killed Hester. I hate her for stealing you away, not just from me, but from Harley, too. I used to be so mad at you for choosing Hester over her, but now I understand. I regret everything I’ve done for her…”
“I would have done everything to get you away from her, I promise you that,” Hiram said. “But, just remember, her sins aren’t yours. Even if she made you do awful things, it’s not your fault. I know, better than anyone, how tight her grip of control can be. She’s a manipulator of the highest order. I was fooled for a while, and I’ll always regret that, but I came to my senses. And I’m so very, very glad that you did, too.”
“Can I ask you one thing?” Finch said, taking a deep breath.
“Of course.”
“Did you love her? Katherine?”
My stomach plummeted. Wow…
Our dad smiled sadly. “I thought I did. I don’t know if that’s the answer you want, but it’s the honest one. But I didn’t know what true love was until Hester came into my life. When it’s real, it hits you like a punch in the face. People are right when they say, ‘When you know, you know.’ And I knew with Hester.” He lowered his gaze. “But I certainly would have loved you if I’d known about you. That starts from today, I swear it. I might not get to see you again, but you’re my son, and you’re a part of me. And I love you, because of that.”
I turned to Finch, expecting his customary snark, but he didn’t say a word. He just stood there, letting our dad’s words sink in. His face gave nothing away, but his eyes were brimming with tears. Was that the answer you wanted? I couldn’t tell.
“And I love you, Harley. So very much.” My dad reached out to take my hand, folding the last two slivers of the matte-black lens into my palm. “I wish I could stay longer. I wish I could help. I wish a lot of things, but I’m fading. Your friend over there is struggling, though he doesn’t want to show it. He’s losing his grip on me.”
My eyes darted to Davin, who was standing motionless, like a soldier at attention. He still had a smile on his face, but it was strained. A sheen of sweat glistened across his skin, his arms shaking ever so slightly. He could’ve fooled anyone into thinking he had control.
“Yes, sorry about that, old chap,” Davin said, his voice raspy. “I really am doing my best, but your spirit is slipping through my fingers. I believe it may tear me apart if I don’t release you soon, so be a good sport and wrap it up as quickly as you can.”
Panic rose up my throat, but my dad gripped my hand before I could say a word. “It’s all going to be okay, Harley. You have Finch, you have Alton, you have The Great Gatsby.” He gave a small chuckle. Apparently, he and Finch had a lot in common. “And your mom and I will always be with you, just like we promised. If you ever feel like you can’t carry on, just think of us and know we’re there, cheering for you, every step of the way.”
“But I miss you,” I whispered through my tears.
“We miss you, too. And if there was a way that I could stay, and your mom could stay, we’d move heaven and earth to find it. But our time came to an end a long time ago. You still have a life to live, and I want you to live it—really live it. Destroy Katherine and find happiness again. Find happiness in the world that you’re going to save. And know we’re smiling down on you.”
I reached forward and collapsed in his arms, hugging him tight. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, Harley.” He held me close. “One last thing—remember to be careful with the Grimoire. Chaos used us to write it, but I have no idea what challenges await you amongst the hidden pages. So just go with your gut instinct and take your time. It’s designed for you. It wants you to succeed. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be pitfalls. Use your head, and you’ll be fine.”
“That’s one thing you didn’t try,” Finch cut in. “You should’ve headbutted the pages until your eyes were swimming so much that it all started to make sense. It’s so simple, now that I think about it.”
Hiram chuckled. “I like your sense of humor. Don’t ever lose it.”
“I won’t,” Finch replied.
“Come here.” He opened out his arm and pulled Finch into a hug, both of us saying our last goodbye to the man who was one half of the people we’d become. “I love you both. Be good, look after each other, and don’t let that evil witch win. You’re so much stronger together than you ever could be apart. And, Finch, I’m sorry I didn’t know about you sooner, when I was still alive. I would’ve done everything to get you away from Katherine’s poison. And I’m sorry that you’re still dealing with the aftermath of everything she’s done to you. To both of you.”
“It’s not your fault,” Finch murmured. I knew it was the closest thing to “I love you” that he could muster, but the sentiment was exactly the same. It was just his way of saying what he couldn’t.
“I have to go now.” Our dad gave us one last squeeze, and then he was gone. His body went limp, his skin cold, that same stinging scent of disinfectant and embalming fluid filling my nostrils. I stepped back, trying to keep the body from collapsing to the ground.
“Here, let me do that. Wouldn’t want you reeking of death. Embalming fluid is a killer to get out of your clothes.” Finch put his arms underneath the corpse’s armpits and dragged him over to the young woman on the floor. I had no idea how he knew what embalming fluid did to clothes, and I didn’t want to. I guessed he was trying to make me laugh, but I was too sad for that.
“Did I… Did I miss something?” Alton rasped, coming around. He looked green and shaky, but at least he was alive. No black veins in sight.
“You look like you’re about to pop your clogs,” Davin replied.
Alton frowned. “What?”
“You look rather peaky.” He rolled his eyes at Alton’s blank face. “You look exceedingly unwell, Alton.”
He nodded. “I don’t feel too good, to be honest.”
“I’m so sorry, Alton,” I said. “This can’t have been easy for you. I’m so sorry to have put you in this state. If there’s anything I can do, just say the word.”
He smiled. “It was my decision. I’ll recover. I just need some time.”
“Where’s my thanks?” Davin prompted.
“I couldn’t have done this without either of you,” I replied. “I’m very grateful. I just want to make sure that Alton is okay.”
“He’ll recover. He’s Purged now, which will lead into the healing process.” Davin gave Alton a knowing nod.
“But how come you haven’t gone into a Purge yet?” I eyed Davin curiously. “You can’t be able to last that much longer.”
He grinned. “I can last plenty long. Practice makes perfect. And I have had much more practice than our dear friend Mr. Waterhouse, over here. It’s what gives me that added stamina.”
“I guess we should be grateful we don’t have to deal with two Purge beasts,” I muttered, trying not to look too awestruck. H
e had to be crazy strong not to go straight into a Purge after what he’d done. Hats off to you. I wasn’t going to say that out loud, in case it made his ego swell even bigger, but I had to give credit where it was due.
I looked down at the slivers of the matte-black lens in my hands. But there weren’t three slivers anymore. Somehow, without me realizing, the edges had fused together, creating one perfect circle. I couldn’t even see where the joins were.
“Cool doohickey you’ve got there. What does it do?” Finch was doing his best to stay positive, but I could tell our dad was still weighing on his mind. I felt the same way.
I turned the lens over to see if there were any charms or markings etched into the smooth surface, but it was blank. “I’m not sure.”
“It looks like a spyglass to me,” Finch noted.
Curious, I walked to the Grimoire, which was still lying on the ground where I’d left it. I sat in front of it and flipped to a random empty page. As I peered through the lens, words and illustrations jumped back at me. It didn’t make sense, since the lens was thick and matte, and totally opaque. But the words and pictures were definitely there, and I could actually read them.
Grinning like an idiot, I flipped through page after page, finding spells that would’ve been useful a few months back, when we’d first found out about Katherine’s rituals. Evidently, the timelines hadn’t quite been aligned. There was a spell to subdue Chaos in the Asphodel Meadows. A spell to cast light in Tartarus. A spell to make weapons disobey their wielder in the land of Gaia. A spell to summon the minions of Lux in the land of Lethe, straight out of the light pools. Now you freaking tell me. Evidently, Chaos had cut its losses and thrown in spells for just about every step of Katherine’s plan, though they were no use to us now. Those ships had sailed.
“I can read it!” I gasped, continuing to flip through the Grimoire, right to the point where the filled pages stopped.
Finch smiled. “Seriously?”
Harley Merlin 8: Harley Merlin and the Challenge of Chaos Page 29