“What? Why would you think that?” I’d rather be celibate for the rest of my life than be with her.
“I saw you together at that club before I left for med school all those years ago. Kenzie and I drove there so I could talk to you, to fix things. I was coming back for you, to make it work, and I saw you with her.” She looks sad, and I’d do anything in my power to never cause her any pain.
“You mean we could’ve been together all this time?” Fuck Laila for screwing everything up. “Baby, I was never with her. Ever. I couldn’t be with anyone because I always wanted you. I never stopped fighting for us.”
“Please never stop.” She looks like she’s about to cry.
“I won’t, but, what is it? What’s going on?” My heart is racing now out of fear that something is wrong.
“Wait for me, Chase. Please. I just need one more year. I’m almost done with med school and then I’ll be home for good, I hope. I need this. I want you and I’ll never stop wanting you, but please, will you wait for me?”
Despite everything and all my efforts, she still wants her space. She still can’t be with me until she graduates. But, I told her I’d fight for her and I’ll be damned if I let three hundred and sixty-five short days stand in our way.
“I’ll wait forever for you, Red.”
30
Hailey
I have no doubts that neither Chase nor myself will stick to the one more year rule. I can’t be without him and he seems to feel the same. The difference this time is I’m not pushing him away. He’s just waiting for me to say the word. He’ll give me my space while still being there when I need him. He’s the perfect man and I don’t know how I got so lucky.
We walk hand in hand back to the reception and Kenzie is on me like white on rice the minute I step foot outside.
“So, when’s the wedding?” Her grin makes me roll my eyes.
“Aren’t we at the wedding?” I know she doesn’t mean her own, but she knows I have my ground rules.
“Shut up. You and Chase, huh? You should’ve touched up your make-up before coming back downstairs.” She looks at me with a glimmer in her eye.
“What? I did. My lipstick is fine.” I’m touching my face as if my hand will be able to tell what part of me needs fixing.
“Not there, baby girl. Your neck. I don’t know how you didn’t see the giant purple hickey blooming.” I cover my neck as panic runs through me.
“Oh, my God is it obvious?”
She smiles and if she weren’t the bride, I’d smack her. “About as obvious as the matching one you gave him. And the lipstick stains on his collar. You two are like rabid freaking animals.”
I look at him and our eyes meet. His gaze is alight with happiness and love and I’d be shocked if mine didn’t match his. A moment of clarity takes over, consuming me while I ogle him. I want this. I want him. Why can’t I do both?
I barely have a moment to breathe during school and when I do, my thoughts have always returned to the one who got away. The one I let get away. Hell, the one I pushed away.
I recall the words Landon said last year. Are dreams even worth it if you don’t have anyone beside you to celebrate your successes? No, I don’t know that they are anymore.
I look back to my best friend for a moment, remembering she’s beside me. “Can you blame me? Look at him.” I leave her to go back to her husband and I walk over to my boyfriend. I’m testing out the word in my head and damn, I like the sound.
“Forget what I said before. I want you to be my boyfriend. Officially, exclusively, you name it. I’m done running. You don’t have to chase me anymore. You caught me.” I kiss him with enough passion to start a fire. We get a catcall from a nearby guest, but I don’t even care. A moment of clarity is all it took.
His smile takes my breath away. “It’s about damn time.”
After a solid five minutes of inappropriately making out in front of family at my brother’s wedding, a throat clears from behind me, dragging me away from my new boyfriend.
“Can you two put some ice on it for five minutes? There’s something I have to give you before leaving tonight,” Kenzie chides.
Hunter and Kenzie are leaving at the ass crack of dawn to head to the Maldives for their honeymoon. Lucky bitches.
I follow my best friend inside the house, helping her lift the layers of her wedding dress as she climbs the stairs.
“Okay, I had to give you this before I left for my honeymoon. Don’t be mad at me.”
“Ew, don’t talk about your honeymoon, please. That means you’re gonna be like, doing it with my brother.” I shudder at the thought.
“I was doing it with him before.” With a grimace plastered on my face, I smack her. I don’t need that visual.
“Get on with it. What am I going to be pissed about?” I plop down on her bed, not caring if I wrinkle my dress since the night is almost over, anyway.
She bites her lip and disappears into her closet, walking all the way into the back and pushing around a bunch of clothes. I lean over, trying to get a look at what the hell she’s doing.
“What’s taking so long?” We don’t have all night.
She takes a tentative step toward me, hiding something behind her back. Her green eyes are filled with worry and her pink lips are pulled into a grimace.
“Promise you won’t be mad.” She pulls the hidden garment from behind her back. A flash of red grabs my attention, causing me to focus on the cherry-colored dress I haven’t seen for years.
“Kenz, what is this?” It’s a rhetorical question considering I know what this is. It’s the dress I wore when Chase and I crashed that wedding, the same dress I left in my apartment when I moved for med school. “Where did you get this?”
I clutch the fabric and look at my best friend. “The day you left for school and we packed up your room, I knew you’d regret it if you left it behind. I ran back into the apartment and grabbed the dress and kept it for you. Now that you’re with Chase I figured it was the best time to return it.”
I climb off the bed, laying the lacy garment on the comforter, and grab my best friend in a tight hug. “Thank you.” My best friend knows me better than I know myself.
I walk through the bathroom that adjoins Kenzie’s room to mine, storing the little red dress in my closet for safekeeping.
“Come on, you have a plane to catch.” We walk arm-in-arm down the steps, back to the reception in the backyard. She and Hunter will have to do their rounds saying goodbye before heading to their house to grab their luggage and catch their flight.
Stepping outside, she joins her new husband and I look for my man in the crowd. When I spot him, I notice him crouched over, his posture defiant and the side of his face I can see shows pure rage.
He’s talking to, or yelling at, a short, older woman with blonde hair in a tight chignon and an elegant blue dress. Expensive-looking diamonds hang from her ears and adorn her wrist. A giant rock of a ring shines on her finger and her eyes are glassy, unfocused. She’s looking up at Chase with disappointment and the crease of her mouth gives away her anger.
I walk over to them, taking slow, tentative steps to not further anger my boyfriend. As I get closer, their conversation gets clearer. They’re not yelling, likely to not cause a scene, but their body language is doing all the yelling for them.
“You still never even said why you’re here. You can’t just crash someone’s wedding.” Ironic coming from him, but considering the ire laced in his tone, I won’t call him out on it.
“Don’t be so dramatic. I’ve known Hunter for years. I came to pay my respects.” She fluffs her hair as if a single strand is out of place.
“Pay your respects? He got married, mother, it’s not like someone died.” So this is Chase’s mother. No wonder he doesn’t associate with his parents. If his dad is anything like his mom, I don’t blame him. But it does make me sad for him.
“May as well have. Marriage is a death sentence, after all.” My jaw drops at
her callous attitude. I should join them before Chase catches me eavesdropping, but my feet are rooted in place.
“Just leave. You’re embarrassing me and yourself. Don’t think I can’t smell the stale liquor on your tongue.” She rolls her eyes at him, as if he’s the one being ridiculous.
“I’ll drop off my gift and leave, will that make you happy?”
“What gift? Not only did you show up trashed but you’re empty handed. I thought that was beneath you.”
“I brought my checkbook. That’s all people ever want from us, anyway.” She makes a move to go around him, but she trips and almost knocks over the gift table. Lucky for her, Chase has quick reflexes and caught her. I know he’s only doing it to spare a scene at his best friend’s wedding, but I still appreciate how this woman can be so horrible and yet he still protects her.
“Chase, is everything okay?” I grow some balls and approach them, placing a hand on my boyfriend’s bicep. The muscle loosens under my touch, but the rest of his body remains tense.
“Fine, Hailey. Go say bye to the happy couple. I’ll be over in a minute.” His gaze doesn’t leave his mom’s face, like he assumes if he loses sight of her for one second she’ll vanish and do something to ruin the reception.
With that he dismisses me, but I don’t run away fast enough. “Little Hailey Blake, is that you? My, I haven’t seen you since—”
“Since you became an alcoholic, perhaps? Leave, Hailey. We’ll talk later.” Chase’s curt tone shocks and hurts me. I want to be there for him, but he won’t let me. I don’t care what his mother has to say to me. I finally let him in and now he’s shutting me out? What’s the point of being exclusive if he won’t let me help him deal with his demons?
“What was that about?” Kenzie comes over to me at the bar with Hunter in tow.
“Chase’s mom showed up.” I shrug, still not grasping what’s going on.
“Oh, shit, Kathleen’s here? How’s Chase?” Hunter’s face falls and searches the crowd for the unexpected and unwanted guest.
“Not great. He pushed me away. You guys shouldn’t be worried about this stuff. Don’t you have people to see and places to be?” I try to crack a joke, but they both wave me off.
“He’s just trying to protect you.” Hunter dips to kiss his bride, “I’ll be right back, baby, then we can go,” then goes to help his best friend.
I watch them go and see Chase’s mom light up as Hunter approaches. My brother, being the gracious host, bends to hug Kathleen and has to steady her as he lets her go.
Like magic, Hunter has her calm and walks her out of our backyard with Chase following behind like a sad puppy. A few moments pass and my brother reappears without his best friend.
“Where’s Chase?” My anxiety is through the roof and Hunter’s grimace isn’t helping.
“He had to drive his mom home.” He opens his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off.
“Okay, that’s enough of me and Chase for tonight. You two need to be celebrating. Get out of here and have tons of fun. We’ll catch up when you get back.” I plaster on a smile and hug them both. “Have a safe flight. I love you both.”
The guests gather out front as we see them off. Despite the last hour of the night, they don’t even seem the least bit fazed. They’re smiling and laughing like the over-the-moon happy, newlywed couple they are.
Today was a great day. The ceremony was beautiful, and Chase and I stopped being stubborn—okay, I stopped being stubborn—and decided to make things work, no matter what. Now I have to go make sure we are in fact still together and that he’s okay.
31
Chase
“Are you dating Hunter’s little sister? Is that why you shoved her away from me faster than I could blink?” When my mother is drunk, all she wants to do is chitchat. Her slur is like nails on a chalkboard and she knows how to hit all of my nerves. “That tone you took with her,” she whistles, “you sounded just like your father.”
Her smug smile has me gripping the steering wheel with an iron fist. “I’m nothing like that pathetic excuse for a man.” My words go unheard, whether because she doesn’t want to hear it or because she’s too sloshed to notice I spoke at all.
Though the drive from the Blake house to my childhood home is only ten minutes, it seems to take ages when my passenger is Kathleen Westbrook. My mother and I always had a rocky relationship because I thought she should protect her child from the abuse of her husband, but she always protected herself instead, serving me up on a silver platter.
“Are we home already? Were you speeding, Chase? Have I taught you nothing about safe driving?” She throws her hand on her head as if she’s exasperated by my mere existence.
“Considering you weren’t even the one to teach me how to drive, no, you didn’t.” I walk around my car to open her door, helping her out of the front seat. Her feet are uncooperative, dragging behind as I all but carry her to the front door. It’s late, though I don’t expect my father to be home, despite the lights on in the house.
She shoves her purse into my chest, making me dig the house keys out of her handbag. When I find them and open the door, I get a better grip on her, knowing I’ll have to carry her up the staircase to her bedroom.
When I push open the door to her bedroom, my hair stands on end in full alert. Something’s not right. No, we’re not alone which means… I need to get out of here. I lay my mom on the bed and at the same moment, the bathroom door opens.
It’s like that scene in Grey’s Anatomy when Derek goes to talk to Addison and Mark comes out of her steamy bathroom in a towel—don’t judge me. Hailey made me watch it.
At least my father is in more than a towel, but it doesn’t matter. It’s after midnight and he’s showering, which only means one thing.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in. Did you miss your old man, son?” My parents would be a good-looking couple if their personalities didn’t weigh them down and make them hideous.
My dad is fit for someone in his late fifties because of his incessant workout schedule and I don’t just mean in the gym. I also mean his extracurricular workouts with any woman of legal age he can get his hands on. He has a full head of salt and pepper hair and a smile that’s gotten him both in and out of trouble countless times over the years.
“Can’t miss what you never had.” I’m convinced he married my mom for her parents' money and has reaped the benefits since. Now he owns a multi-million dollar company, but the start-up would’ve never happened without my grandfather investing in it.
My grandparents are the only parental figures I ever had since my dad can’t keep his dick in his pants and my mom can’t keep a bottle out of her hand.
“What did you say to me?” My mom doesn’t even stir anymore when he raises his voice.
I revert back to childhood Chase when I feared him beyond measure. With a flinch, I back out of the room, not daring to turn my back toward him.
“What’s the matter, Chase? Scared?” He laughs like the fucking psycho he is, getting off from scaring his own kid.
I let the fear take hold and dart down the stairs. He follows me, but I’m younger and quicker than he is. I fling open the door and once I’m outside I know I’m safe. Anthony Westbrook cares too much about his reputation to beat his kid on his front lawn.
A car honking pulls my eyes away from the infuriated monster standing just over the threshold of the home that holds all my nightmares.
“Chase, get in!” I run to the car, hopping in the cherry red Audi of my savior.
“Hailey, what the hell are you doing here? How did you know where I was?” I’m so grateful she’s here but I’m scared to have her in my dad’s line of vision. He’ll hit on her if he gets the chance and who knows how far he’d go. “Drive, we’ll talk on the way.”
With spinning tires, she flies down the road. “Hunter told me you had to take your mom home. I used to ride along when we’d pick Hunter up from your house when you were kids. I remembered
where you live.” She shrugs like she isn’t the best thing to ever happen to me.
“Thank you, Red. I love you.” I can tell her mind is reeling from what she witnessed and I’m not even sure how much she saw. I plan to explain everything to her tonight if she’ll let me.
“I love you too, Chase.” That’s the first time she’s ever said it and I’m glad we’re stopped at a red light. I lean over to kiss her, lingering too long since a car horn beeps from behind us. With a chuckle, she drives right to my house, knowing damn well she’s staying the night.
“What time do you have to head back to school?” The distance will suck, but at least we’re together, so I can’t complain.
“As long as I’m there by tomorrow night sometime it’s fine.” I nod and get comfortable on my couch, patting the seat beside me and inviting her to sit. This will not be a fun walk down memory lane. “You deserve an explanation for my parents’ behavior and why I’m not close to them.”
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. I can wait.” She’s so sweet and it makes me more eager to share this ugly side of my past.
I kiss her with tenderness so we don’t get carried away. “Let’s change out of these clothes first.” We’re still in our wedding attire, so I run to my room to change and grab one of my t-shirts for her to put on. She has an overnight bag packed, but I like when she wears my clothes.
With a heavy sigh, I run a hand through my hair. “The first time I remember my dad hitting me, I was six. My mom defended me that one time and my dad backhanded her so hard she fell down and broke her wrist. After that, she never got in between us again.”
“I’m so sorry, babe. I had no idea.” Her delicate hands cover her mouth and her green eyes get even more jade as tears form.
“Let me get this out, Hails.” I take her hand in mine and the contact gives me all the support I need. “That was about the same time my dad’s business took off. My mom blamed his anger on stress and blamed the job for keeping him late almost every night. In hindsight, that’s when his sleeping around either just started or got worse. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was never faithful to my mom. To cope she turned to liquor, anything she could get her hands on. Over time, a glass of wine with dinner turned into a five o’clock happy hour. Then five turned to three, then noon, then eleven, and then she’d alternate mimosas with bloody Marys and drink all day.”
Chasing Red Page 19