“Your father and I were talking, and we think maybe it’s time for you to come out for a visit.”
“I really don’t think now is a good time, Mom. Jake’s in school and Sean has the store … Plus, I’m still getting the hang of things around here.”
“Well, Jacob is welcome, of course, but we were talking about you. Only you. I think it’s time you told Sean you’re leaving him and then you can come here and stay with us while the dust settles.”
“I never said anything about leaving Sean,” I replied, even though she damn well knew I hadn’t. “I understand you’re upset … so am I … but this is between Sean and me. You and Dad are not involved.”
My mother huffed at that. The woman had always felt very comfortable giving her opinions on how I ran my life. I don’t know why I expected this to be any different.
“He was carrying on with another woman, Kelly, while you were sick and in the hospital.”
“I was in a coma and he didn’t think I’d ever wake up,” I replied, my voice getting louder.
I wasn’t sure why I was defending him, or even if I was, but she seriously could not be believed.
“That’s no excuse. Your father and I never gave up hope.”
“Mom,” I said on a sigh. “It’s not quite the same thing. Regardless, I can’t take a trip out there right now.”
“Have you been by the bookstore yet? He said he built it for you, right? Has he even mentioned you starting to work there?”
“He asks me about going to the bookstore all the time, I just wasn’t ready,” I told her. “But I told Sean this morning that I’d like to go by and see it tomorrow.”
“Well, at least that’s something. I still think you should reconsider staying in your marriage…”
“Mom.”
“I know, dear, it’s your life, not mine. Just know, I’m here for you … whatever you need.”
“Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it.”
“All right. Talk soon.”
“Okay. Love you,” I said, which was true. Even if she drove me batty half the time, I was grateful to have the support of her and my father.
“Love you, too.”
After we hung up, I busied myself once more, this time peeling potatoes for dinner.
I couldn’t help but go over the things my mother said and wonder if she had a point. Was I dragging my feet? Holding on to a grudge rather than working to make things better?
Maybe it was time for me to make a decision. To either move forward and work on this marriage, or to let it, and Sean, go.
The thought was overwhelming, and really more than I could handle in that moment, so I shoved it from my mind, turned on Adele, and lost myself in mundane tasks.
Sixteen
Jacob
Loneliness breeds emptiness and emptiness brings pain
My love for you used to fill me up, now I’m fighting to remain
“No, that’s not right,” I muttered, erasing the words off the page of my notebook and bringing the pencil to my mouth as I tried to put what I was feeling into song.
I’d gotten a job working at the coffee house where I always did my open mic nights, which meant I had the opportunity to see what other musicians had to offer, but I had less time to write, and less time to hang with Ally, which she did not like.
When Summit, the manager, had offered me the position, I’d jumped at the chance. Not just for the extra dough and chance to listen to other artists, but to get out of my house.
My mom was home. And, although it was great, and weird, to have her here, listening to her and my dad fight was not so great.
Oh, they tried to present a united front. Our rare dinners together were full of strained silence and forced smiles, but on occasion, when they thought I was out of the house, or asleep, I’d hear the yelling.
Mostly, it was my dad’s voice streaming through the house. Expressing his remorse over cheating and his frustration that things between him and my mom were not going well, but I was pretty sure a lot of it stemmed from his guilt as well.
After all, he was the asshole who cheated on his wife while she was in a coma.
What could I say, I didn’t have a lot of respect for the guy.
I felt bad for my mom, though. It wasn’t fair that she’d gone from five years in a coma to finally coming home, only to find out that life had happened while she was asleep.
Pretty much everything had changed.
Updates to technology, buildup in our town, the bookstore, my dad meeting Madeline, and me growing up.
I’m sure to her this was some sort of bizarro universe, which she wanted desperately to escape. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. I wasn’t sure what went on in her head, or what her plans were for the future, I just knew she was struggling with the present.
I wanted to help her, sure I did, but I wasn’t sure how.
After all, what could a teenager really do? I went to work, school, open mic, and hung out with Ally. I stayed out of trouble and got good grades. I didn’t want to make things any harder on my mom than they already were.
I just wish my dad would be as considerate.
I knew I should try to see his side of things as well, after all he’d also dealt with a lot, but shit, hadn’t we all? Maybe if things between us hadn’t gotten so shitty, I’d be more empathetic, but as it was, I was starting to think we’d all be better off if she just left his ass.
“Honey?”
There was a knock on my door. My mother’s voice came from the other side.
“Yeah?” I called back.
“Ally just got dropped off. We’re about ready for dinner.”
“Okay, I’ll be right down.”
My mom had invited Ally over a couple times, trying to get to know her despite their initial meeting and, I think, trying to show me that she was interested in being an active part of my life.
I also knew that she wanted me to invite her to an open mic night, but I wasn’t ready yet.
Over the last five years, I’d gotten used to doing stuff on my own, and it was hard to get used to having a parent who actually gave a fuck. Plus, I wanted to make sure I had the perfect song ready for when she did come.
Call me a kid, but I wanted her to be proud of me. To be impressed by what I did, and hopefully think I had talent.
I put down my guitar, closed my notebook, and went downstairs to see my girl and join everyone for dinner. Since my mom had been back, there’d been a no Ally allowed alone in my room with the doors closed rule, so in order to resist temptation, we hung out downstairs.
Now, we went to her house when we needed alone time.
“Hey, babe,” I said, giving Ally a quick kiss on the lips when I met her at the base of the stairs.
“Hey,” she replied, snuggling in.
Being apart had been hard on Ally. She craved my attention, and affection, and although she wasn’t a big fan of hanging out with my parents, she said she’d do anything if it meant spending time with me. I’d been trying to be better with her, more understanding of her feelings. And, honestly, the time apart made it easier to be with her, at least on my end.
“You do anything after school?” I asked, taking her hand and walking with her into the dining room.
“Hung out with Callie and put in a couple applications.”
“Oh? Are you looking for a job, Ally?” my dad asked as he took his seat at the head of the table.
“Yes, Mr. Talbot,” she replied, sitting after I pulled out her chair. “I tried the movie theater, library, and there’s a hostess position at the café.”
“I’m sure you’ll get picked up by one of them,” he replied.
“Yes, good luck,” my mom added. “Dig in.”
The food was set up family style. There was a bowl of mashed potatoes, some gravy, creamed corn, and meatloaf. My favorite meal.
“Do you work tonight, Jake?” my mom asked after we’d all filled out plates.
“No, but I have an English test to study for,” I replied, sh
ooting Ally a wink.
We had plans to meet up later and hang out, but my parents didn’t need to know that.
“What about you? Any plans?” I asked, although so far my mom hadn’t been anywhere other than home or the hospital.
“Yes, actually, I’m going to go to the bookstore tomorrow with your father.”
I shifted my gaze to my dad, who looked pleased.
“I can’t wait for you to see it, Kel. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised.”
“I’m sure I will be,” she replied, her tone flat, then she shot a fake smile at me and Ally. “Eat up, I made pie for dessert.”
I sighed, hating this Stepford version of my family.
Seventeen
Sean
My stomach was in knots as we walked down Main Street, which was just coming alive as all of the shops began to open.
I could smell the salt of the sea on the air, but it did nothing to calm my nerves.
I’d dressed with care that morning, pairing a paisley tie with a blue shirt, the color that Kelly had always loved on me. But as we walked side by side, not touching and barely speaking, I knew it wouldn’t have mattered if I was standing next to her in ripped sweatpants and a threadbare T-shirt.
She didn’t see me.
Not since that day in the hospital when I’d come clean about Madeline.
Kelly tolerated me while she was in the hospital, but since she’d moved back into our home, she’d treated me like I was a ghost. See-through and without a voice.
Every word I spoke was taken with offense, whether it was intended that way or not. Every glance was met with a glacial stare, and every touch with a flinch. In some ways, it was worse now than when she was in a coma.
At least when she was asleep I’d been able to love her and know she loved me as well.
Now, it felt as though my marriage was crumbling, and Kelly had no desire to save it.
I didn’t know what to do.
I’d hoped her coming home would remind her of the way we’d been before, but things had only gotten worse.
I prayed that this little outing to the bookstore would show her how much I had been thinking of her, how much I loved her, and how hard I’d worked to bring her dreams to fruition.
It felt like my last chance to get my Kelly back.
“This is it,” I said lamely, even though we were stopped in front of Escape in a Book.
Kelly didn’t respond, but I heard her breath catch as she took in the Louisa May Alcott display in the window.
I opened the door and stepped to the side to allow her through ahead of me.
I watched her walk in. She was no longer rail thin from years in bed. She’d gained her appetite back and was still in physical therapy, so she was close to being back the way she used to be.
At least in appearance.
Her hair swung at her shoulders as she turned her head from one side to the other, trying to take everything in at once.
She walked through the center of the store, running her hand along one of the oversized chairs as she beelined for the children’s section. That had always been the piece of this project that she’d been so excited about.
Kelly wanted kids to have a bookstore they’d be excited to go to. She wanted them to beg their parents to bring them so they could enjoy the fun kid’s area, play with toys, and read in the bean bag chairs.
She wanted to foster their love of reading, and I’d paid special attention to this section when we started talking decoration.
“Wow, Sean, this is perfect … exactly what I’d imagined,” Kelly said, dropping to her knees to take in the space from a child’s perspective. “I love the little table and chairs, and the bean bags. I bet the kids love it.”
“It’s one of our most popular stations,” I replied with a smile, happy that she was happy. “This, and the coffee bar.”
“Oh, let’s go over there next,” she said, standing and showing more enthusiasm than I’d seen since she woke up.
“Right this way,” I said, pleased that this was going as I’d hoped.
Maybe afterwards I could talk her into going down to the pier for lunch, like we used to.
I led her to the back of the store, then stood back and watched as she took in the glass case with pastries and sandwiches, the bistro-style sitting area, and the large menu board filled with a variety of coffee and tea-based beverages.
When she approached the counter, I walked up and said, “Carl, this is Mrs. Talbot, the owner of Escape in a Book.”
“It’s great to meet you, ma’am. I’m so happy you’re feeling better. We all are. Would you like to try anything?”
“Thank you, Carl, it’s nice to meet you. Yes, can I please try the dirty Chai latte and a cranberry scone?”
“Coming right up,” Carl said, then asked me, “Mr. Talbot, would you like your usual?”
“Yes, please, Carl, and throw in a blueberry muffin.”
Carl turned to get our order and Kelly looked around the bookstore once more.
“You really did it, Sean … The place looks better than I’d ever imagined,” Kelly said, her voice filled with awe.
“It’s yours,” I said softly.
“Here you are,” Carl said, interrupting whatever Kelly had been about to say. “Enjoy.”
We took our drinks and breakfast pastries and sat down at one of the two-top tables.
“Mmmm, this is very good,” Kelly said after she tried the scone.
“We have a contract with the bakery down the street. They make all of our food and we advertise for them. It’s worked out great so far.”
“That’s a really good idea, that way you can offer more to our customers, without having to have a kitchen and kitchen staff on site. I’d never thought of that.”
“Thank you,” I said, my chest practically puffing out with pride. “It’s a mutually beneficial partnership.”
I was about to ask her about going to lunch, when I felt someone approach the table, but when I turned my head, expecting to see Carl, I found a well-dressed woman, clutching her handbag in one hand and fingering her pearls with the other.
I stood, shocked, and asked, “Madeline, what are you doing here?”
Eighteen
Kelly
My breath caught and every bit of happiness I’d been feeling drained out of me.
I closed my eyes thinking, this is it, then opened them and turned my head slightly to look at her for the first time.
Madeline.
The woman who’d been with my husband while I’d been asleep.
She wasn’t anything like what I’d pictured, standing there in her stylish skirt and blouse, not a hair out of place on her blonde head, her makeup classic and understated.
Madeline smoothed her unwrinkled skirt, her wide eyes and the slight tremor of her fingers the only sign that she was not as composed as she looked.
“Madeline, what are you doing here?” Sean asked again, his blue eyes narrowed on the petite woman.
He glanced at me nervously, then back at Madeline, who seemed frozen in place.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to intrude and I didn’t want to come here, but you haven’t answered my calls or returned my messages,” Madeline explained softly, her eyes darting to me. “I know you’ve been busy, but I wanted to talk to you to see what’s going on, so…”
“So, you thought it would be appropriate to track me down and intrude on an important moment I’m having with my wife?” Sean asked, his tone low and harsh.
I gasped again, but this time for a different reason. I’d never heard Sean sound so callous.
“Sean,” I chastised, not so much for Madeline’s benefit, but more to let him know he was out of line.
“It’s okay, Kelly,” Madeline said sadly. “I’m used to being his dirty secret … I do want to say to you that I’m sorry for any pain I’ve caused you, and I’m so happy that you’re better.”
Unsure of how to respond, I nodded, indicating
I’d heard her, even if I couldn’t find it in me to absolve her of guilt.
Standing, I reached for my cup and ignored the scone.
“I’ll go back into the back and check out the office,” I said, not looking at Sean. “Give you some time to say what you need to.”
Sean started to protest, but I shot him a look and shook my head.
He shut his mouth and let me go.
I left the table without a backward glance at either of them and went to the counter to ask, “Carl, can you show me to the office?”
“Yes, ma’am, right this way.”
My heart pounded painfully as I followed Carl through the store and into a door in the back corner.
Once I was alone in the small but tidy office, I shut the door behind me and sat on the floor. I crossed my legs and propped my elbows on my thighs, then held my head in my hands.
Why can’t I catch a break?
Things were so strained at home and today at the shop had been the first time since learning about Madeline that I’d felt a spark of happiness with Sean again. Madeline showing up was a swift reminder of why Sean and I were unhappy and why our lives had changed completely.
I couldn’t keep doing this. Couldn’t keep dealing with this roller coaster of emotions. I needed space and time to not only come to terms with all of the changes that had occurred, but to find out where I fit in this new life. I could no longer ignore the truth simply because I didn’t want to deal with it.
There was a knock on the door before it opened, and Sean stepped inside and shut it behind him.
“She’s gone,” he said, watching me warily. “I’m so sorry, she shouldn’t have shown up here.”
“It’s a public place, and what did you expect? That you could ignore a woman you’d been with for years and she’d just fade into the background without complaint?” I asked.
“Of course not,” he said, obviously exasperated. “I just thought she’d realize we needed time…”
“People aren’t mind readers, Sean.”
He ran his hands over his face and flung them out. “Are you saying you want me to speak to her?”
Unwoven Ties Page 6