I welcomed the privacy as I started driving again. I breathed deeply, using the calming methods the Evaluator had taught me.
I’d just gotten my pulse to return to its normal pace when the black car literally came out of nowhere. And although I could not see them, the eyes that bore into me decided my future.
And in this future, I would be no more.
Chapter 3 Caught
The fear . . . I hadn’t been this afraid since I’d held the knife to my arm to join this cult of killers.
The car’s windows were darkly tinted, giving no clue to the owner. Bile rose in my throat as it lightly bumped the back of my car. I was screwed beyond screwed.
I took the hint and pulled into the parking lot of a diner. When I killed the engine, I decided I would play it cool. They would get no begging from me; I wouldn’t let them have the satisfaction.
“Ash,” I whispered, desperate and most certainly mad. “I could use your help again.”
I felt a smug stirring in my chest, but that was it. I was on my own.
“Seriously?” I muttered. “How come you’re not quiet when I want you to be?”
The passenger door opened, and a sleek figure slipped inside, making the car immediately smell like vanilla.
I turned to the blonde woman. Her clothes were designer and colorful, and her hair was a bright halo.
Ariel. One of the Observers assigned to me.
“Hello,” I said casually. “You better not have scratched up my car. So rude.” I forced my lips into a sarcastic smile.
The woman’s mouth twitched, and her gaze was cool. Her brown eyes said everything. We both knew who held the upper hand here, and it definitely wasn’t me.
“Think you have enough perfume on? You smell like you sleep on a giant cupcake. How is that discreet when someone can smell you a mile away?” I kept my voice calm, although I was really focusing on not vomiting all over my lap.
Ariel smiled, and the smile sent a chill through me.
“I would stop right now, Ashley Garreth. I think we both know you are in no position to be making such comments. I would highly suggest trying to get on my good side instead of trying to act like you are not in the most serious of circumstances.”
I ignored the frost of her warning. I began to braid a piece of my hair, as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I completed the façade by propping my foot up on the dashboard.
“Are you even listening to me?” she asked.
I concentrated on my hair, concentrated on keeping my fingers from shaking.
“Ariel, what confuses me is why you even bothered stopping me at all. Why not just go to the Master and get it over with?”
“Are you that eager to die?”
Her words froze my fingers around the little braid. “No, it’s not that. Because if it was, I’d go with you and tell the Master myself.” A laugh escaped my lungs. “I’d gladly welcome death if it meant being free from this life.”
Ariel’s eyebrows furrowed. Finally, I’d caught her off guard.
I sighed. “Surely you realize it’s not just my life you hold in your hands? It’s not me I fear for.” I turned and looked out the window, watched the blur of gray that was the rain. “They’ll kill my mother, too.”
Ariel was quiet for a moment. “Yes . . . this I do know, of course. I just can’t picture Richard Garreth’s daughter as suicidal or careless. You’ve never shown this type of reckless behavior before, which is really the reason why I stopped you. I am honestly curious as to what you were thinking when you helped that boy. I couldn’t see him clearly. . . . Have you met him before?”
I decided to go with the honest answer. “No, I haven’t. And I was thinking that if I didn’t do anything to help, then it would be the same as if I killed him myself.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“Yes, but I know what could have happened,” I said.
“I might have let it go, but you let him get in the car with you.”
“Were you not paying attention? He kind of did what he wanted. It’s not like I told him anything,” I snapped.
“Ashley, we cannot give anyone anything. Do you understand what I mean when I say that? Merciless survives because of our discretion. Every little thing we do can be analyzed by those seeking to find us. We cannot allow that to happen. We save lives,” she said.
“By killing people,” I muttered.
“Yes. No matter what others believe, we are not an evil group. You don’t see the things I do. This world needs us.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. She and Ash would get along great.
“Can we just get this over with?” I said. “But I need to be with you when you tell the Master. Not to argue, just for a request.”
“What do you mean?” Ariel asked.
“I mean my mother doesn’t deserve this. She’s been through enough. If I cannot convince him to spare her for my actions, maybe he’ll at least agree to something that is painless for her.”
It grew very quiet; you could only hear the sound of the rain pelting the car. Ariel’s silence made me beyond uneasy, and my anxiety was almost unbearable. Finally, she spoke.
“I’m going to think about this. As of now, I will not say anything. But I’m going to be watching you very closely, Ashley. So help me, if you screw up again, I won’t hesitate. I have a family I have to protect too, you know.”
I swallowed hard in relief. “Thank you,” I whispered quietly.
I understood the gravity of her decision. If another member found out she’d kept her mouth shut, her and her family’s lives would be in danger.
She opened the passenger door and stepped out, her heels clicking on the pavement. She slammed the door shut and disappeared into the gray rain.
As soon as she was out of sight, my breath came out in a large whoosh, and my head fell down on the steering wheel. My body began to shake, and a strangled laugh came out of me.
What were the odds? If it had been anyone besides Ariel, would they have done the same?
I shook my head to clear it. So Merciless did know mercy.
“Lucky. Very, very lucky.”
I nodded in agreement with Ash’s comment. She stirred again in my chest, and then she faded. Now that I didn’t need her, I was glad for her silence. It made me feel almost normal.
I once again found the road. Even though she’d left first, I knew Ariel was somewhere close by. That was fine because she wasn’t going to catch me doing anything like that again.
In this line of work, it was never just your life that was at stake. It was the way they kept us in line. Fail or refuse your duties, and your loved ones paid the price along with you. It was sick, but it was effective.
The drive to Headquarters was long and boring. The rain stopped halfway through the drive, and eventually, I was surrounded by woods, pastures, and the occasional chicken farm. I rolled my window down and savored the night air. It tasted like rain and hay, the tell-tale sign that Headquarters was nearby.
The back roads shifted from asphalt to dirt as I drove deeper into the country. Finally, I drove by a faded, wooden sign that read Waterworn’s Strawberry And Dairy Farm.
Anxiety to the point of nausea curled inside my stomach as I turned onto the driveway. I didn’t think I would ever get used to coming here no matter how many years passed.
I reached down and pulled out a bottle of Stomach Steady from under the seat, and I took a large swig of the bitter medicine that promised relief from nausea caused by anxiety.
It didn’t help.
There was only one good thing about coming here. There was someone I did always want to see, but there was a large chance he wouldn’t even be here right now. I didn’t allow myself to hope, but I also couldn’t help the brief flash of dark green eyes that filled my mind.
I drove down the long driveway, passing the strawberry fields and pastures. The farmhouse was dark, the Merciless members that inhabited it asleep for the evening. Their jobs didn’t
keep them from sleeping at night, but it was extremely vital for our survival. They kept the farm running and sold the berries and dairy to small chains of grocery stores and farmers’ markets, and even more important, they tricked the outside world into believing that this place was only what it appeared to be.
I drove toward the barn and parked around the back. I left the key in the ignition and walked up to the back wall of the building.
Suddenly, my anxiety exploded. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I couldn’t move, could barely breathe. To my eyes, the walls of the barn resembled blood instead of red paint.
A light flashed, blinding me. I unconsciously went into a fighting stance. I was weaponless, but that didn’t mean anything, as I was equally dangerous without weapons.
Those men earlier had found that out the hard way.
“Ashley? Ashley Garreth, what are you doing? Why are you taking your sweet time out here? You know you’re supposed to go immediately underground.”
I couldn’t see the man’s face, but his voice was mostly familiar. It sounded like Ben, one of the Patrol Guards.
I relaxed as the man aimed the light on his rifle away from my eyes. I shoved my shaking hands into my pockets.
“Great, it’s the strawberry patrol. I’m cowering in fear,” I said.
“I have never found your jokes humorous, Ashley. You should be more careful. You could get shot on accident,” he said gravely.
I snickered. “I’d love to see someone try.”
The man’s shadow became motionless. “Get down there before I report you to the Master.”
I brought my hand to my forehead and gave him a sarcastic salute. “Aye, captain.”
He went away, muttering under his breath. I looked up toward the roof at the almost-invisible camera that was watching me, fighting the urge to give it the middle finger. Although the whole place looked asleep, the farm had a ridiculous amount of cameras.
I was always being watched.
I ran my fingers along the smooth wood of the barn until I felt a small bump. Pressing it, I stepped back as a part of the wall shifted and opened, revealing a tiny metal device. A green beam of light shot out of the lens and ran over my eyes. I fought the urge to squint.
“Scanning retinas,” said the mechanical woman’s voice. “Identification verified, Ashley Adeline Garreth. Please provide your security code.”
I quickly punched in my current code, the one that changed weekly.
“Security code verified,” the voice said as the ground shook slightly.
I got back in the car as the nearby entrance opened, the hidden metal sliding back without a sound. The opening was just wide enough for the average car, and I very carefully descended the slope into the darkness of Headquarters. I hated being underground; there was always a small part of me that felt like I couldn’t take in enough air.
The entrance closed behind me, and the lights along the walls lit up. As I went down, the way broadened until I was on even ground, and I entered the circular parking lot. I parked as best as I could in the semi-cramped space and exited the vehicle, adjusting to the colder air that was present here.
This was one of three entrances into Headquarters, but the only one accessible by car. We couldn’t just leave all of the cars on the farm, and it wasn’t like we could drive them into the woods surrounding the farm.
I took another swig of Stomach Steady before I walked toward the exit. Standing in front of the exit was a beefy man with a handlebar mustache, arms crossed against his chest.
I tilted my head all the way back and greeted the Guard. “Cody.”
Cody nodded. “Ashley,” he grunted as he turned around and punched a code into the door. It beeped and swung open. Cody moved aside, and I entered the hallway.
I didn’t know why she caught me by surprise; she always came alive here. I supposed it really was something you never got used to.
“So good to be home,” Ash sighed.
I rolled my eyes. “This isn’t home,” I argued.
“You’re here more than you are at the house with the drunk. I’d call that home.”
I ignored the truth of her words and approached the final door. I had to go through the scanning process again, and then I proceeded inside.
Headquarters was probably not what the outside world assumed it to be. The walls were not painted black, and there were no bloody skulls piled in the corners. Everything was gray stone, and it was very cold. The large entrance room was also the library. Couches and chairs dotted the room along with coffee tables and desks. Bookshelves covered the walls. There were books on all kinds of topics, and I was very familiar with the ones pertaining to weapons and stealth.
A few Observers were lounging here. One nodded to me as I walked by. The other’s gaze merely flicked to me before he went back to typing furiously on the laptop before him.
I walked down another long hallway where the doors led off to various rooms. We had the training room, mainly used by Assassins and Trainers, and across from it was the classroom where younger members did their schooling. The rooms beyond that were the kitchen, the living quarters, the laundry room, the bathing facility, an armory, the Evaluator’s office, and the Master’s office.
I had one hour before training, so I went to the classroom to complete my essay on World War II.
The classroom was cozy despite the stone walls. There were three mahogany tables with overstuffed chairs for seats, and lockers and bookshelves lined the walls.
I dragged my feet over to my locker and spun the code on the lock. I grabbed the laptop specifically assigned to me and slid it onto the nearest table. Finally, I grabbed one of the thick world history books off a shelf and settled in to work.
I was halfway done with the paper when the door to the classroom banged open. I didn’t bother turning around; I had a good feeling who it was. The very air around me was suddenly charged with electricity. And although I didn’t show it, I was so glad to see him.
“Still doing school, Ashley? I graduated when I was sixteen, so what’s taking you so long?”
I didn’t even look up. “Congratulations, Gage. What do you want, for me to give you a gold star? On second thought, I think I actually have a bag of stale cookies in the back of my locker if you’re interested.”
“Me-OW. Usually you wait until we’re deeper into the conversation for that kind of sarcasm. So tell me, who was it that ticked you off this time?”
I shoved the laptop away. Gage plopped down on the table in front of me, setting his sketchbook down beside him. He loved to draw, although I knew he never had enough time to indulge himself in his art.
I stared up at his face. He was smiling his crooked smile, and his shaggy, black hair fell into his dark green eyes.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on an Assignment in Texas right now? Or did you just get back and decide the first thing you want to do is bother the absolute crap out of me?” I asked.
Gage leaned back and put a hand over his heart. “I’m so lucky. . . . Ashley Garreth cares so much for me she actually knows my schedule.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” I sneered. “I can barely keep up with my own schedule. I hate when I have to be here at night and sleep during the day.”
Gage smiled sympathetically. “Me too, but don’t worry. You’re back on day shift next week.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Wait, how do you know my schedule? And don’t play stupid about your Texas Assignment. Every member knows when an Assassin has an Assignment.”
Gage moved closer to me. “Because believe it or not, I actually do care when it comes to you.”
Nervous, I swallowed and moved away. He’d been more than just a little presumptuous lately.
“You are so full of it,” I mumbled.
Gage used to only be a background presence in my life just like everyone else here. I ignored everybody, and the majority usually left me alone. Gage and I had trained together just like I’d trained w
ith the other Assassins, but we’d never talked much.
But around when I’d turned fourteen, I’d noticed Gage looking at me more and more often, like some sort of puzzle he’d wanted to solve. Then he’d started trying to talk to me. For a whole month, I’d practically ignored him until I’d finally come around. I hadn’t ignored him out of spite or snobbishness, but more because I’d honestly never really been comfortable talking to anyone in Merciless.
And because I’d been afraid he’d find out about Ash. I was still afraid.
Our busy schedules didn’t give us much time together, but over the past few years, he’d become my best friend. It was mainly due to the fact that we both weren’t comfortable with this life. Neither one of us had ever exactly confessed that to the other—it was one of those unspoken truths you didn’t have to say.
Gage rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever, think what you want. I know you’re busy, but I wanted to see you. And I really can tell something’s wrong. Wanna talk about it?”
I looked away, thinking about the boy with the blue eyes and how Ariel had let me go. But what if she changed her mind? Was the boy in danger now because of me? Was my mother?
I decided to change the subject. “So how was Texas?” I asked.
Now Gage was the one to look away. He shrugged. “Fine. Kinda hot. You know, I didn’t see a single tumbleweed.”
“Is that so?” I murmured.
“Yup. Texas is officially out of tumbleweeds,” he declared.
The room grew quiet. Gage stared at the wall while I fumbled with a string on my shirt. Silence with Gage wasn’t uncomfortable, but the darkness in his eyes unnerved me.
It reminded me of my reflection. It reminded me of Ash.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” I finally whispered.
He stood up and walked to one of the bookshelves, picked out a psychology book, and flipped through it.
“What do you want me to say?” Gage asked after a few minutes. “That the pervert begged for mercy? That I know he didn’t deserve mercy, yet I still felt guilty at being the one to decide his fate? That I held the gun to his head and stared into his eyes as he died, and that a part of me actually enjoyed pulling the trigger?”
Ashes of Merciless Page 3