“Gage, if you thought this was a bad idea, why didn’t you say something?” I asked, unable to hide the anger in my voice. But it wasn’t him I was mad at; I was angry at myself.
Gage ran his fingers through his dark hair. “It seemed like the only solution at the time.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Lacey interjected.
“This should be interesting,” Gage muttered under his breath.
Lacey shot him a dark look and then focused her gaze on me. I’d noticed that about almost all of them—whenever something important was being said, I was the one everyone looked to. It made me uneasy.
“Most of the members would not have just stood by if they knew innocent people were being killed. I believe our people really did rebel. But now that most of them are gone, what’s stopping the Master from changing the rules now? He can rewrite everything. He can find new members, people who will follow him without a doubt. He can get them to do whatever he wants, and then no one could stop him.”
Gage sagged against the wall, his face an ashy gray. I left Viola’s side and went to him, laying my head against his chest. He stroked my hair, looking at Lacey like she wasn’t even there.
“It’s going to be all right,” I told him. But my voice sounded weak, even to my own ears.
The door opened with sudden fury, making everybody jump.
“Is Sophia in here?” Shane shouted worriedly.
Immediately, Vanessa went to him. “What? She’s missing?”
I’d never seen Shane look so pale. “She’s not anywhere in the house, and she’s not outside on the patio,” he said.
“She was in the kitchen when I was out there!” Vanessa threw the words at Shane like an accusation.
Fear trickled like the fire in my veins. I shoved past the couple and paused in the doorway, ignoring the heavy weight of the morphine in my limbs as I turned to face everyone.
“Standing there and talking isn’t going to help us find her! Colbert, stay with Viola. Gage and Lacey, come with me. Shane and Vanessa, she has to be in the woods around the house. We’ll split up and find her.”
“You’re not in charge here, stupid girl!” Vanessa barked at me, her eyes half-wild.
“Vanessa, do us all a favor and go screw yourself. I’m going to go help Ashley find your daughter,” Lacey said as she exited the room.
Gage grabbed my hand, and we raced after Lacey with Vanessa and Shane at our heels. We passed the kitchen where my party still sat, untouched and forgotten. We stormed out onto the patio where Aden was sitting against the wall, his head in his hands. He jumped when he saw us.
“What are you doing out here?” Gage asked furiously.
Aden raked his eyes slowly over him. “I said I needed some air.”
“Have you seen my daughter?” Shane asked, his voice pleading.
“I haven’t seen anyone, but I can help you find her,” Aden said as he began to rise.
“Thank you,” Vanessa said through tears.
“Lacey, you and Vanessa go that way. Shane, take Aden with you. Ashley will go with me,” Gage said, pointing out the directions.
Lacey and Vanessa ran off, and Gage caught Shane’s shoulder before Shane could walk away. Gage slipped Shane the gun. Shane thrust it into the back of his jeans and nodded before taking off.
“Are you well enough, Ashley?” Gage asked softly as we headed into the woods.
I nodded, gnawing at my lower lip. “Now’s not the time to worry about me. I’m terrified for Sophia.”
“She’s probably ok. She’s most likely just playing out here somewhere,” Gage replied, but I noted the worry in his tone. “Sophia!” he shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. Distantly, I heard the others yelling her name.
“I’m not sure,” I said as I dodged a patch of poison ivy. “This is out of character for her, running off like this.” I took a deep breath. “Sophia! Sweetheart, where are you?”
Dread filled me when we were met with silence.
“Do you have a weapon on you?” Gage asked suddenly.
I pulled a pocketknife out and twirled it, although my shaking fingers made the move look clumsy. Gage’s eyes darkened upon seeing my faulty display. I closed the knife and shoved it back into my pocket.
“Keep that on you at all times. I want everyone to carry a weapon from now on,” Gage ordered.
“Aden, right?” I guessed as I jumped over a rock. I stumbled and fell against Gage. He caught me and stared down at me anxiously. I never would have tripped before; the words remained unspoken between us.
“Yes, because of Aden. Although I know everybody usually has something on them, I want to make absolutely sure now. Especially you, baby. I don’t want you to go off alone with him either.”
“Gage, I’m always with you,” I reminded him. “Plus, I’m pretty dangerous empty-handed. Or are you forgetting how you got your butt handed to you each time we trained together?”
He placed a quick kiss on my mouth, melting my bones.
“Ashley.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said as I pulled away from him. “Sophia!” we both yelled at the same time.
Gage bent down and looked underneath a promising bush.
“It’s getting dark,” he said as he stood back up.
I wiggled my way between two shrubs, my arms getting scraped in the process. Warm blood bubbled up on my skin, but with the morphine still coursing through my system, the cuts were completely painless.
“I know. What else can go wrong?” I said.
“I can think of a lot of things.” Ash seemed to come alive just because of the blood.
“Ash, go away,” I hissed, ignoring Gage’s eyes on me.
He chuckled once without humor, accepting that I was talking to myself like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“This was supposed to be a good day. A birthday party, some cake. Mom was making homemade pizza. Now everyone we know is dead, and Sophia’s missing.”
“Sophia!” I called, ducking under a low branch and colliding against Gage.
“Steady there,” he murmured to me. He looked down at my arms. “You’re bleeding.”
I waved a hand. “It’s fine.”
Gage’s dark eyes were suddenly filled with blazing light. “The antidote is almost all I can think about. It’s just, what if Aden is lying? He seemed so reluctant to tell us.”
“Or he was worried that it’s gone. Maybe he didn’t want to get our hopes up.”
“You don’t seem very enthusiastic.”
“Because I’m not going to believe it until I see it. After what happened to my father, my mom, and finding out about everyone else . . . Gage, an antidote for me just feels wrong.”
I didn’t realize he’d stopped walking until I heard only my shoes crushing the leaves. I turned and looked back at him. He was standing in the shadow of a tree, his body very still.
“What is it?” I asked, my voice barely audible.
There was a glint of green, a visible spark of his temper. When he made no inclination to move, I went to him and put my hands against his chest; it was rising and falling quickly.
“Gage?”
“How can you say that?” he hissed, his teeth clenched. “That better just be your guilt talking and not you. You do not deserve what happened to you! What can I do to make you see that? Are you ever going to forgive yourself?” His hands gripped my shoulders tightly.
I looked down. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what I believe anymore. Except for us. I believe in us,” I said, trailing my fingers along the hard muscles of his stomach. He shuddered under my touch, his pupils swallowing up his irises as his anger evaporated.
I looked above us at the darkening sky. “We should get moving.”
His hand left a tingling trail when he skimmed my waist. “I know.”
My heart beating irregularly, we traveled deeper into the woods. As we neared my mother’s memorial, I stopped, tensing. Gage looked down at me worriedly.
&nb
sp; I shook my head at him. “It’s not a relapse. Listen. Do you hear that?”
He closed his eyes. “The water? There’s a stream nearby. . . . Sophia!”
The scream was distant. Even worse, it was fading.
Gage and I sprinted through the undergrowth. I ignored my burning lungs that couldn’t get enough air and the harsh beating of my heart. I jumped and pushed my weight off the trunks of trees to gain more momentum, and soon I was ahead of Gage. A branch scratched my cheek, and warm wetness dripped down my face.
I broke through the thicker part of the woods and didn’t even see the stream until I was already in it. Although it was August, the water was surprisingly cold. I looked around as I treaded water, and my heart twisted when I saw a crying Sophia. She was clinging to a rock in the middle of the water.
“Ashley!” she screamed. She slipped and water poured into her mouth, gurgling her cries.
“Sophia! Hang on!”
I swam toward her, fighting the slight current. The water was at least eight feet deep.
“Ashley! She went under!” Gage said, and his words seemed to fill my limbs with strength as I swam harder.
I reached the rock she’d been clinging to and dove underwater with the current. Then I saw her, unmoving and floating. I stretched until my arms burned, my fingertips grazing the fabric of her dress. I grabbed a handful of the fabric and pulled her to me, the fear so strong it tasted of metal in the back of my throat.
I pulled her head above water, and Gage was suddenly beside us. Together we were able to get her to the muddy bank faster.
Her face was pale, and her chest wasn’t moving. I opened her mouth with my fingers and pressed my lips to hers, giving her the oxygen I couldn’t seem to ever get enough of. My hands went to her chest, over her heart, and I pressed.
“Sophia!” The cry was Vanessa’s, full of anguish.
My mouth covered Sophia’s again as Gage murmured frantically beside me. “Come on, Sophia. Come on. Breathe.”
My hands pumped her heart again.
“Please. Please,” I pleaded before I put my lips to hers again. They were cold and tasted like ice.
Vanessa was crying beside us, and the sounds coming out of her were almost inhuman. Lacey stood nearby, leaning against the trunk of a tree for support. She was as pale as Sophia.
I pressed her heart again. Still nothing.
“My baby! My baby!” Vanessa looked like she was about to go into cardiac arrest.
As I gave Sophia more oxygen, I felt her gasp against me. Her eyes flew open, and water streamed from her lips. Quickly, Gage tilted her head to the side as the liquid poured out of her mouth. Once she was breathing regularly, she burst into tears, and Shane and Aden crashed through the trees to where we were.
“Oh, Sophia!” Vanessa pulled Sophia to her and crushed her to her chest. Sophia hugged her back, her small body soaked and shaking.
“Why did you go off on your own?” Vanessa shouted.
“I-I so-sorry, Mama!”
Shane immediately went to his wife and daughter. He kissed Sophia’s bronze hair, his shoulders quivering.
Gage sighed with relief, and I fell back against him, stunned. His arms snaked around my waist, and I was too dazed to understand what he was whispering to me.
Aden smiled faintly as he watched the scene. He went over to Lacey and asked if she was ok. It took her a few seconds to respond to him.
Vanessa handed Sophia to Shane. “It was Ashley. Ashley saved her life,” she said in wonder.
“Thank you,” Shane said fiercely.
Gage pulled my wet hair back from my face as I nodded.
“Gage helped,” I murmured quietly.
“Thank you, Gage.” Vanessa focused her awe on him.
“It was really Ashley. She just doesn’t like being in the spotlight,” Gage said.
Sophia squirmed her way out of her father’s arms and came to me. She put her chubby arms around me and held me with a strength a small child shouldn’t possess.
I waited for Vanessa to protest, but she only smiled. I put my arms around the little girl, knowing in that moment just how much Sophia meant to me.
So many people I hadn’t been able to save . . . but Sophia was alive because of me. I was almost giddy with relief. Instead of taking life, I’d saved someone.
I held Sophia tighter. I wished my parents could see me.
Chapter 15 Trust
I pulled the towel tighter around myself, feeling the warm spray of the shower with my other hand, but I made no move to get inside the tub. I leaned my forehead against the wall, suddenly very tired.
Warm arms slowly snaked their way around me. I leaned back against Gage as one of his hands slid gently down my stomach.
“Are you all right?” His voice was low and normal, but I heard the worry he could never fully hide.
“It’s been a long day,” I finally said.
Gage ran a finger along the cut on my cheek, the cuts on my arms. “I know. We need to give everyone a few days before we start planning, but we can’t wait much longer.”
I turned around and stared up into the eyes I loved. “How could he do it? How could he kill all of those people? His own wife? Gage, we’ve killed terrible people, but how could one man be so evil, and how could everyone not see it?”
Gage put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I’m not sure why some people are so evil, but the Master wasn’t fooling everybody. Your father saw it. Lacey and the others saw it. But the Merciless founders never took into consideration that the leader of Merciless could become the enemy. My parents and I always agreed the Master held too much power, and now it’s too late.”
I smoothed his inky hair, the tendrils soft between my fingers.
“Gage, I’m afraid.”
His eyes flew open. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Not again.”
“I’m not afraid for me. What else can they do to me?” He opened his mouth to protest, but I covered his lips with my fingers. “I’m afraid for you. For Lacey. For Shane. Maybe . . . Gage, we haven’t been found here. It wouldn’t be easy, but we could protect ourselves if we are found, but once we go into the Master’s territory, that protection is gone. There’s been enough death.” I gripped his arms tightly. “I don’t want to see anyone else I love get hurt.”
Gage eyed me carefully. “Are you saying you want to do nothing?”
I looked down, my cheeks flushing. That was very far from the truth. I could never live with myself if I stood by and let the Master have his way. More innocents would die. My father would be ashamed of me, and Ariel’s death would have meant nothing.
And it would be like I never cared for my mother at all.
No. I would do something about it; I just wasn’t going to let Gage and the others risk their lives. Holding Sophia’s motionless body against mine only an hour earlier had decided that for me.
“This is rash, even for you,” Ash said. I had to really concentrate to hear her now.
I made certain my response was not spoken aloud. “I think Aden will agree with me. I’m going to talk to him tonight once everyone is asleep.”
Even Ash seemed hesitant. “Just the two of you? I’m not sure even you can walk away from that.”
A shudder ran through me. “I’m dying anyway.”
“Ashley?” Gage grabbed my chin and made me look at him.
I blinked. “Sorry. It was just a thought.”
Gage’s eyes seemed to look right through me. “Tell me what you’re really thinking.”
I broke out of his grasp. “I told you I was only rambling.”
“What was Ash saying to you?”
My body froze. Sometimes it was scary how well Gage knew me.
“Nothing important. She’s fading. Pretty soon I don’t think I’ll be able to hear her at all.”
He pulled me to him. Our bodies touched everywhere. The world melted away as his gaze held me.
He pushed my hair back from my fac
e. “You’re not planning on doing anything stupid, are you?” His voice was calm, but serious.
I grinned jokingly. “Me? Do something stupid? No way.” I kept my tone light, but fear coiled through my veins.
Gage could not know. He had to live.
He put his hands on both sides of my face. I could tell he hadn’t bought what I’d said, but it didn’t seem like he was going to press me anymore.
“I will get you this antidote. Enough of it that you will live for more than just ten years,” he said.
I sighed, trying not to think about something that might not even be at the Master’s home.
“Aden doesn’t know if there’s even any left.”
His hands on my face tightened. “I’m not going to let you die. It would kill me, too. I’ll go to South America once this is over if I have to.”
“And look where? And do what? Gage—ˮ
He covered my mouth with his and started kissing me fiercely. A fire only Gage could bring out in me liquefied my bones. Our faces slid against each other, the kiss deepening. It was like Gage was trying to crush me into him, like he couldn’t breathe unless I was inside his very soul.
“Do you know how much I love you?” I murmured against his mouth.
Gage pulled away slightly, his eyes the only thing I saw. His irises were soft and liquid, and he traced my face with his fingertips.
“What is it?” I whispered as Gage continued to stare at me.
He smiled slightly. “I just never imagined you would ever be so open with me, or that you would tell me something like that so easily.”
“I’ve loved you for a long time—even when I didn’t realize it.”
He put his forehead against mine. “I know you did.”
He pressed me against the wall, and everything that had happened earlier today slowly drifted away, at least for a little while.
***
I swallowed the white capsule the Evaluator had left for me just as a hesitant knock sounded on the door.
Gage was sitting up in bed with his sketchpad on his lap. He set it down and got up, kissing me gently as he walked by me to open the door.
Vanessa stood in the doorway, dressed in a pair of Viola’s pajamas. She was wringing her hands and looked very nervous.
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