by Ward, H. M.
Sean’s eyes cut to mine and for a brief second, I see remorse. It’s there and gone faster than I can blink. Sean is cold, detached. He points to the bed. “Go lay down, the way you were the other day.” I want him, but I want the guy from the restaurant, the guy from the snowball fight, the one who stopped to help me get my car back. For some reason he’s shut down and I don’t know how to draw him out. Half way to the bed, I stop and look back at him.
“Do what I tell you,” he says.
Heart pounding, I go to the bed and lay in the spot I was in the other day. He watches me, but doesn’t move from the chair. “Spread your legs.” I do as he says, parting them. My heart thumps wildly in my chest. I don’t know if I can do this. I want Sean. I want to crack that shell. “Now slip your hand down your panties and rub, slowly.”
I glance at him, feeling shame spreading across my face. “Sean, please…”
“When you’ve done that, I’ll come over.” He doesn’t move. The stern expression on his face doesn’t change.
I can leave or stay. I can protest. Or I can do what he wants. Feeling foolish, I do as he asks. I slip my hand between my legs and rub. At first the only thing I feel is complete foolishness, but my body comes to life. I’m too emotionally charged for nothing to happen. Sean watches me from across the room. Slowly, I relax and just think about the sensations shooting through me. When I stop looking for him, Sean’s next to me. I feel his weight on the bed.
Sean breathes in my ear. “May I?” he asks, slipping his hand on top of mine, lowering it to the sensitive flesh between my legs. I nod and go to pull my hand away, but he holds it there. “You stay,” he says as he dips his hand lower and strokes my slick skin. I gasp, surprised at the intensity of the touch. My hips rise up to meet his hand.
My heart is beating so fast, so hard. I feel warm and afraid. I want to relax. I want to be with him, but I’m not his lover. I’m his hooker. Before I realize it, tears are streaking down my cheeks. Sean’s hand gently strokes me, but I don’t look at him. I can’t.
Sean’s fingers slip inside of me and I jump. He’s been kissing my neck and finally pulls back to look at me. “Avery,” he says, his voice filled with concern. Sean takes his hand out of my panties and pulls me to his chest. Cradling me in his arms, he asks, “Why are you crying?”
Shaking my head, I say, “I’m fine. Something got in my eye.” Sean nods and takes my wrist, pulling me off the bed. “Where are we going?”
“I want to take a bath with you. Can we do that?” his eyes meet mine, and although I don’t understand, I do as he asks.
Nodding, I say, “Yes, that would be nice.” I press my lips together and manage to stop the tears.
Sean fills the huge tub in the bathroom and invites me in. The room is blush colored marble, with white accents. It’s beautiful. Sean takes my hand and pulls me to him. Wiping the moisture from my cheeks with his hands, he pulls me to him and holds on tight. He whispers in my ear, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” he sighs and pulls back, looking at me. Smiling sadly before glancing at the tub, Sean waves his hand, like I should step in clothed. I nod and step into the warm water. When I sit back, he takes my hand.
Sean smiles at me, but I still feel sick. I must look green because he says, “We don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, we do. I have to get over it and just do it. Nothing in my life turned out the way I thought it would. Why would this be any different?” I sound bitter. I can’t hide it.
Sean sits on the edge of the tub and looks down at me. My white panty set is see through. When his gaze flicks back to my face, he says, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to look before you’re ready, but you’re beautiful. I couldn’t help myself.”
I manage a weak smile. “You weren’t acting like yourself.” It’s a statement, a fact.
His eyes dart to the side, like he’s ashamed. “I didn’t know how to act.”
“I thought you’ve done this before.”
“I have, it’s just. This is different,” he says, pushing his hands through his hair.
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t Avery. Just believe me when I tell you that it’s different. I didn’t know the others. I know you. I like you. It changes everything.” His voice drops to a whisper and he won’t look at me.
I swallow hard, and stand in the water. Water pours off me in sheets as I stand and reach around to unhook my bra. The clasp comes undone and I drop it on the bathroom floor at Sean’s feet. He watches me, his eyes darkening by the moment. He looks at my breasts like he wants to lick them. I shimmy out of the wet panties and toss them to him. Sean catches them. A smile flicks across his face.
“A sudden case of exhibitionism, Miss Smith?” he can’t seem to pull his gaze up to my face.
I take his hand and pull him to me. His feet are on one side of the tub. I press my naked, wet body against him and drag my fingers through his hair. I decide that I have to do this all the way or not at all. I’m holding back and so is he. I hope that removing my barrier will cause his to come down as well.
Looking into his eyes, I say, “Shut up and kiss me.”
30
Any remaining wall that Sean has up, crumbles and falls. He presses his body tightly against mine before sweeping his lips over mine. The kiss is gentle at first and then becomes more demanding. His tongue sweeps over my lips, demanding that I part them. When I open my mouth, he dips inside. Sean kisses me harder and I love it. My fingers tangle in his hair. The damp shirt clings to his chiseled chest. I press my breasts harder against him, wishing that I could feel his skin against mine. As if he can read my mind, Sean pulls away and strips his shirt off. When he takes me in his arms again, our bodies are plastered together. My breasts smash against his hard chest. The ache in my nipples feels better when I rub against him. I writhe in his arms, sliding my body against his. Sean’s hands trail down my back and cup my butt. He pulls me to him and lifts me out of the water. I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me to the bed.
Looking into my eyes, he lays me back. “Tell me when to stop. I want you to like this, too.”
I nod. My entire body is hypersensitive and craving his touch. As soon as his chest slips against me, I want his hands in places hands shouldn’t go. My legs fall apart and Sean slips his fingers between them. He strokes me gently as he kisses me, finally slipping his finger inside of me. I push my hips into his hand, wanting more.
Sean pulls away, smiling and says, “Easy. Go slow. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I nod and lock eyes with him. I don’t feel scared anymore. I just want him. I want to show him how he makes me feel when he looks at me with those sad eyes. I want to make him smile and I don’t want it to stop. Taking his face between my hands, I pull him back down to my mouth. His hand slips between my thighs again and he presses inside me.
“Slowly,” he says, pushing harder until I feel something pinch. I make a noise. It hurt a little, but I’m so turned on that I barely felt it. Sean stills his hand. “Are you all right?”
I nod and wiggle my hips against his hand. “Please,” is the only coherent thought I have. My hips rock into his hand over and over again. A steady heat is building inside of me. If I don’t have him inside me soon, I’ll scream. Sean watches my body move as his hand turns me wanton. I manage to open my eyes and beg again, “Please.”
It’s like something inside him snaps. Sean moves and his hand is gone. I gasp, wanting it back. In a second, Sean is naked and on top of me. He strokes my hair away from my face and looks into my eyes. I feel his hard length pressing against my stomach. I want him between my legs. My mind is all lust. I tilt my hips against him, pressing into his leg.
“Are you sure you want this?” he asks.
I nod and suddenly feel like talking. I clutch at him, trying to pull him to me. “Please, Sean… please,” I say, followed by a swarm of verbalized dirty wishes. I can’t shut up. I know I’d never say anything like the stuff that’s
coming out of my mouth. I say dirtier things, things I didn’t think I’d ever want before Sean placates me. His knee pushes my legs apart and he settles on top of me. One hand is on either side of my head, holding him up. I look at his spectacular body and have the impulse to lick it.
Sean says, “You’re beautiful.” I feel his dick between my legs. It rubs against me, making me crazy. I wrap my legs around his hips and push into him. He slides inside of me and I gasp. Sean stills as I get used to the feeling. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yes.” Looking into his eyes, I put my hands on his ass and begin to rock. I do whatever my body tells me to, and right now it wants him deeper. I rock against him, wiggling my hips slowly, allowing the delicious sensations to overtake me completely. I have no idea who I am or what’s happened to me. I forget all the pain that plagues my soul on a daily basis and lose myself in him.
Sean lowers his body on top of mine and begins to push in, then pulls out slowly, and pushes in again. The movement is so charged that I can’t take it. I dig my nails into his back and rock violently against him. Sean pushes into me harder and faster. The feeling inside of my core grows hotter and wetter, finally exploding, sending surges through me. I cry out as I come, my nails clawing his back. Sean keeps rocking into me, drawing out the feeling. Every part of my body is sensitive. I feel everything. There’s a throbbing inside of me. It grabs hold of his hard dick and fills me with happiness. A moment later, I feel him throbbing inside me. Innocently, I ask, “Did you come?”
He nods. “Did I hurt you? I wasn’t going to, not this time, but oh my god—you’re so sexy. I couldn’t help myself.”
I smile at him and push the dark hair away from his eyes. “I liked it.”
“I’m glad.” Sean pulls out of me slowly and I moan. I reach for him with a smile on my face. “Come back.”
He smiles at me and kisses me on the forehead. “I’m not done with you, yet. I’m going to get you Advil and warm up that bath water. Are you up for a little sex in the water?”
“That sounds perfect.” I lay naked on the bed when he goes to get me a painkiller. I take it and drink the bottle of water he hands me.
When Sean comes back, he walks toward me completely naked. This is the first time I’ve gotten to really look at him. His body is ripped, with perfectly sculpted muscles in his legs, arms, and chest. And his abs, oh my God, they’re so tight, so perfect. The compulsion to lick them shoots through me again. My eyes drift lower, and I don’t conceal my lust. I stare at his erection as he walks toward me, and press my thighs together hard to try and control myself.
“What’s that look?” Sean asks, stopping before me. I’m lying on my back, on the bed with the sheets immodestly draped across my body. My hair is fanned around my face in long dark curls. His eyes slip over me and that warm feeling returns.
I smile lazily. It feels like I’m floating on a cloud. “I feel fluffy, like I could float away.”
“You’re happy, then?”
I nod, still smiling like nothing could pull me down from this high. Before I can say another word, Sean scoops me up in his arms. I don’t expect it, so I yelp and giggle until I’m secure against his chest. His skin is so warm and smooth.
I press the spot along his shoulder, tracing my finger over his muscle as he walks me to the tub. “I want to run my tongue over this spot.”
That makes him smile. Sean glances down at me in his arms. He steps into the marble bathroom and stops. He doesn’t put my down. Looking into my eyes, he asks, “Is there anywhere else that little tongue of yours wants to go.”
A mad blush turns my cheeks red. I don’t know where it came from or why it happened. I bury my face in his shoulder, trying to hide. He laughs, “Apparently, so.”
He steps over the side of the massive tub with me in his arms. I cling to Sean, hoping he’s more surefooted than me. I would have slipped. Sean plants both feet in the bottom of the tub and lowers me into the water, before sitting down himself. The tub is large enough to be a small pool. If I lay down, I could float and still have room before bumping into the walls. Sean sits opposite me and presses the button for the jets. He takes my hand with the bracelet and lowers it into the water.
“When I first saw you running down the side of the road, chasing your car, I never dreamed I’d end up doing this with you.” His eyes are hungry again, like he can’t get enough of me. “What did you think of me?”
I look at the froth on top of the water and say, “I thought you were hot and that I don’t have time for things like this. If someone told me that I’d be in bed with you tonight, I would have laughed my head off.”
The thing is, I don’t feel like laughing. I’m a call girl. This isn’t real. This isn’t what I wanted. I did what I had to do and was lucky enough to get him for a client.
31
When I lift my gaze, it’s like Sean can tell that shame is choking me. It’s the first time since we had sex that I can really think clearly. That happy feeling has dissipated and all that’s left is doubt. My stomach twists and I can’t look at him.
Sean seems to sense it. He moves across the tub and takes me in his arms, kissing my temple after he does it. I lie against him for a moment and feel safe. How fucked up am I? This man won’t protect me. He bought me. He’s as screwed up as I am. Sean holds me close.
His voice is perfect, rich and caring, “Don’t think about anything, right now.” His hands grip the back of my head and he massages my scalp. It makes my brain slow. The thoughts that are flooding through my mind disappear when he pulls me onto his lap. At first, my legs are off to the side.
Sean holds me, stroking my head and doesn’t let go. His other hand holds my back, tracing the curve as it disappears below the waterline. I stare at the wall, not thinking, just breathing. My head is against his chest listening to the sound of his heart. It comforts me. I don’t think about what I’ve done. I pretend this is a date. I pretend that the affection between us is two-directional, that I’m not the only one who feels something. It’s easier that way. I know that when I go back to the dorm, guilt is going to crash into me hard. I try to steel myself, but some things are impossible. There’s no way to brace my heart for something like this, something that feels real but is no more substantial than vapor.
My throat tightens as I think. My body must tense, because Sean whispers in my ear, “Miss Smith, I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but you are a very beautiful woman and I’m lucky to have you as my lover.”
I can’t help it. I smile against his chest. I decide to stop thinking. I’ll follow my instincts. I finally cave into my obsession with his shoulders. I trace my finger along that spot—that perfect spot that I want to nibble. I press a kiss to his chest, over his heart. Sean stiffens, but I don’t notice. I don’t see the look in his eye, the way the pain shoots beneath the surface.
I’m too distracted. I trail the kisses to his neck, and shift so that I’m straddling him, kneeling over his lap so that I can slide my tongue along his shoulder. When I do it, my body flames to life again and any lingering thoughts are lost beneath a wave of desire. My breasts press into him as I lick his skin. Since we are both wet, his skin is slick and they slide as I rise out of the water to reach his shoulders.
Sean tilts his head to the side and moans my name as I do it. I trace my tongue over the rise and fall of his muscles, slowly licking and kissing his smooth skin. Sean’s hands travel down my back and he cups my butt gently. Desire is building inside of me again. I slide my breasts against him, tracing the lines of his shoulders, pressing my lips to his damp skin. When I move to settle onto his lap, he’s hard. Looking into his eyes, I slowly lower myself onto him. He’s so hard and sharp. The sensations that shoot through me as I do it are divine. The soreness doesn’t prevent me from taking him all the way in. If anything, it reminds me of that cloud of lust that filled my mind from last time I came. Sean’s gaze remains locked with mine. He gasps as I take him in, his hands still on the curve of my
hips, guiding me.
Neither of us says anything. I sit upright on his lap and Sean leans back against the side of the tub. His gaze lingers on my breasts before returning to my face. “You’re beautiful, Avery.”
I smile, because I don’t know what to say. I never thought I was anything, and here I have a gorgeous man telling me that I’m stunning. Before I can think about it, Sean shifts beneath me. I gasp and my mouth falls open into a little O.
“You like that?” he asks and I nod. I liked that very much. Before I have a chance to ask Sean what he’s doing, he does it again. This time I moan loudly and toss my head back. Sean grabs my arms so I don’t fall backward. Breathing hard, he moves his hips in a slow circle. It puts pressure in all the right spots. My back arches and I scream this time. It feels like he’s doing more, and maybe he is, but I’m not going to stop him to ask.
Sean remains perfectly composed, his eyes filled with fire as I climb closer and closer to ecstasy on his lap. He continues the movement, pressing his hips harder against mine, pushing me closer to the edge. I can barely hold myself up. I have no idea where to put my hands. Before I can think about it, they’re on top of my head, tugging at my hair. I don’t think about how I look or what he sees. I just enjoy what he’s doing to me. My breasts ache for his touch, but Sean keeps his hands below the water, tightly gripping my ass. The world goes fuzzy and the only thing I’m aware of is how I feel, how Sean makes me want him. Heat builds within me, making me hot even though we’re in the water. As Sean moves inside me, it’s all I can do to sit up.
When he says, “Come for me, Avery,” he thrusts his hips against mine and I can’t control myself. I feel the pulsating from deep within me and ride him as hard as I can. Water sloshes out of the tub as I do it. My hands are on Sean’s shoulders as I thrust harder and harder. He watches me with a carnal look on his face. His eyes move between my bouncing breasts and my face; his hands hold me tight to his lap, pushing harder, deeper. I shatter and fall against his chest, breathless. Sean’s hands find my damp hair. He kisses the side of my face as a whirlwind of pleasure shoots through my body. He’s still hard inside me, which makes the aftershocks more delicious.