Rusty closed his eyes. Mr Moretti’s voice was a murmur in the background, punctuated by Akira’s occasional giggle. The only other sounds were the faint baas of sheep floating up from the distant paddocks. Then Rusty heard a sheep clearly call out, ‘Mint sauce!’ and the other sheep baa-laughed. Rusty’s thoughts wandered to the extraordinary animals he’d seen in the two days he’d been on the island. Dogs painting. Mice playing dodgeball. Pigs and their flying machine.
But no talking Bongo.
Rusty’s cheerful mood faded. He knew it was only early days, but he was worried. What if Bongo didn’t talk? Was his father right?
‘Smells good!’ A voice spoke in his ear and his heart thudded. Bongo?
Rusty turned his head towards his lizard and was met with a dog’s wet nose snuffling against his forehead. It licked his cheek with an enormous, raspy tongue.
‘Smells good!’ said Bismarck again as he moved towards the apple in Rusty’s hand, swiping his tongue across the fruit in one long lick.
Rusty scrabbled to a sitting position. Bismarck made to sniff Bongo, who had moved to hide behind Rusty’s head, but the lizard hissed angrily at him and he backed off.
‘Smells good?’ the bloodhound said in an uncertain voice. ‘Good?’
And it finally dawned on Rusty: Bismarck was talking!
Bismarck!
Rusty let the apple fall, and the dog flopped onto the grass and began to devour it messily, core and all.
‘Smells good, smells good,’ he said between mouthfuls.
The other children and their pets emerged from the school and ran towards them.
‘Did he say it?’ yelled Braithwaite as he came closer. ‘Did you hear Bismarck talk? How cool is that?’ Braithwaite sounded less posh in his excitement. He threw himself on the ground near his dog. ‘Good boy, Bismarck,’ he said, beaming, as he rubbed the dog’s droopy ears.
‘You should have seen him, Australian,’ Braithwaite said to Rusty. ‘We were in the music room, and we’d just finished dancing and all that when Bismarck started talking. “Smells good,” he said, over and over. Then he bolted out of the room and up the stairs.’
Shelby and Maximilian slowed to a stoop-shouldered walk, breathing heavily. Shelby spread her jacket near Rusty, carefully settling onto it. Maximilian sat beside her. They didn’t look quite as pleased as Braithwaite. Shelby glanced jealously at Bismarck, and Maximilian frowned at Hannah as he placed her next to him on the grass.
‘Ich glaub mich knutscht ein Elch!’ Maximilian said. ‘Bismarck speaks, but Hannah remains silent? What in the great blue planet is going on?’ He sounded a little shell-shocked. ‘Hannah must be the smartest animal here. The German Rex is known to be a very intelligent breed, and Hannah comes from impeccable stock. Her father was a national celebrity. They taught him to type his name, Fritz, on a keyboard.’
Maximilian sighed as his cat stretched out in the sun and started licking her fur in big lapping strokes. ‘That is why I want her to talk. I know she is very smart. That’s what I put on my application to come to this school. I told Miss Einstein that Hannah was the smartest pet in the world and the world needed to hear her wisdom.’ He stroked the cat’s belly and she purred. ‘Why won’t you speak, Hannah?’ Maximilian said, but his pet didn’t respond.
Bismarck finished the apple and sniffed the grass nearby in case he’d missed any pieces. ‘Smells good,’ he said in satisfaction. The dog stood up and wandered off. He reached Porky and Shelby first, the guinea pig resting on his owner’s lap, his rotund belly to the sky. Bismarck sniffed Porky’s soft belly fur with a none-too-gentle nose. ‘Smells good,’ he said yet again.
‘Leave him alone, Bismarck,’ Shelby grumbled, stroking Porky’s belly and fending off the dog with her other hand. ‘Not everything is your dinner. Being able to talk doesn’t make it cute to go around sniffing everyone. Where’s Akira, Rusty?’
‘Oh, ah, she went for a walk with Mr Moretti. They’ll be around here somewhere,’ he added, peering around the lawns.
He couldn’t see them. What he did see, however, was a hedge that he hadn’t noticed before. It was right down near the picket fence separating the lawns from the paddocks, a long distance from any other hedge. This one wasn’t an animal. It was in the shape of a giant person with orange flowers in its hair.
He frowned.
Hadn’t he seen a hedge like that before?
‘I can’t see them,’ Shelby said from behind him, sounding annoyed. ‘I hope they didn’t wander too far. Miss Einstein told us to follow the animals to the Golden Hall for assembly when the bell rings. She said she had something important to say. I don’t want to miss it because Akira has wandered off.’
Rusty watched as a gardener strode over to the human-shaped hedge and reached up with a brand-new pair of pruning shears, snipping a bright orange flower off the top. He let it fall onto the grass, then snipped another one.
Rusty frowned.
Although the gardener’s back was to Rusty, the man looked familiar. He was a brawny fellow. And weirdly, for a gardener, his khaki-coloured gardening pants and shirt did not have a speck of dirt on them.
‘Ah, look, Shelby,’ he heard Maximilian reply, ‘there they are. Bismarck found them.’
Rusty peered in the direction Maximilian was pointing, watching as Sora fluttered down to land on Akira’s outstretched hand. Bismarck snuffled at Mr Moretti’s pockets, perhaps in search of more apples, but when he saw the budgerigar he looked up and said, ‘Smells good!’
‘Kashikoi,’ replied Sora.
Braithwaite and Akira smiled at one another, and Rusty felt a pang in his chest. Shelby and Maximilian turned away from the clever animals, the expressions on their faces mirroring Rusty’s own.
Jealousy.
Rusty cleared his throat. ‘Do you guys recognise that man over there?’ he asked. ‘The gardener?’
‘What gardener?’ Maximilian asked.
‘That one, over near the hed—’ Rusty turned back and stopped partway through his sentence. He peered around. The gardener was gone. But not only the gardener.
The entire hedge had disappeared.
He spun back to the others. ‘Did either of you see them? There was a gardener and a hedge in the shape of a human. The hed— I mean human, or whatever it was, had orange flowers sprouting from its head.’
They stared at him with puzzled expressions.
‘No, Rusty. Are you feeling well?’ Maximilian asked, his eyebrows drawn together in concern. ‘No-one’s there.’
Just then the bell rang.
‘Come on,’ said Shelby as she scooped up Porky and rose to her feet. ‘Let’s get to assembly and hear what Miss Einstein has to say that’s so important.’
They rose. Before he left, Rusty turned back to look for the strange pair one last time.
Miss Einstein’s right-hand man, BJ, now stood there. As Rusty watched, the big man bent over and picked up something from the grass. He turned to Rusty, unsmiling as always, and raised his hand in a kind of salute.
Rusty squinted at him in the sunshine. BJ appeared to be holding a handful of bright orange hair.
CHAPTER 32
THE GOLDEN HALL
‘He’s creepy, isn’t he?’
Rusty started. Braithwaite had materialised by his side. The taller boy whispered from the corner of his mouth, but then surprised Rusty by waving at BJ in a friendly manner.
What was he doing?
‘He’s creepy,’ Braithwaite said again, having seen Rusty’s confusion. ‘I really wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. That is one scary-looking dude.’
Today BJ wore a sleeveless shirt. His biceps looked like coconuts stuffed under his skin. Rusty peered closer, noticing a previously-hidden octopus tentacle on the man’s shoulder. It appeared to be wrapped around some sort of animal. Rusty’s eyes widened. A lizard. BJ’s entire-body-covering octopus tattoo was strangling a small lizard tattoo. Rusty swallowed. Did BJ hate lizards?
Rusty bent
down and scooped his lizard up. Bongo seemed indifferent to the danger as he chewed on the last of the apple. ‘Did you see the others?’ Rusty asked Braithwaite, inspecting the area again. ‘There were two of them: a hedge — or maybe it was a big person covered in leaves — and a gardener. They were here a minute ago. I’ve seen them before, I’m sure of it.’
The British boy frowned. ‘The only person I’ve seen wandering around out here is him.’ He gestured at BJ, but when he saw the big man was still staring at them, he allowed Bismarck to drag him back towards the school. ‘Let’s get out of here,’ he said. ‘Time for the assembly, anyway.’
As Rusty watched, BJ dropped the hair onto the ground. The man appeared to hesitate, then took a step towards Rusty and Bongo. That was enough for Rusty. Heart pounding, he clutched Bongo to his chest and raced after Braithwaite and Bismarck, catching up to them at the front door. The children hurried after Mr Moretti as he led them to the lift and pressed the button for level −5: the Golden Hall.
The lift opened onto a foyer, and they crossed the area to the large double-doors of the Golden Hall. They heard the odd meow and woof coming from the other side, along with the murmur of a voice over a microphone.
The five children stood with Mr Moretti at the doors and looked at one another. Shelby cleared her throat, then spoke. ‘Let’s make an entrance!’ She pushed the doors open and sashayed into the hall, but skidded to a halt almost immediately. At least one of the children, possibly Maximilian, let out a gasp.
The entire hall was gold. Everything in it. The floor and ceiling were both gold. Chairs had been painted gold and upholstered in gold velvet fabric. Gold carpet was patterned with glittery, gold stars. The wallpaper was striped in two-tone gold. It should have been overwhelming, except that the lights were dimmed, so instead the hall glowed warmly.
The doors through which they’d entered were on one side of the hall. Seats were arranged on an incline, heading down towards the stage in one direction, and in the other they went up and away until they disappeared into the darkness so that Rusty couldn’t really tell how large the hall was. Above their heads, set back from the stage, another level began, starting with a golden balcony and sloping away even more steeply up into the darkness.
‘Moooooooo.’ A cow’s lowing echoed throughout the hall.
It seemed the entire student body was present, seated or standing in the front section of the hall. The largest animals stood at the back on the same level as Rusty. Nearest was the cow who’d mooed at them — a large black and white creature with enormous eyes. It blinked its long eyelashes at Rusty as it chewed its cud. Beside the cow stood Red, the huge, bristly-haired black pig Rusty had met earlier, along with the rest of the aircraft-building pigs. Several of them had safety goggles pushed onto the tops of their heads. Nan and Vin sat on chairs in front of the others. Standing behind them were a couple of horses, a goat and three sheep.
‘I met them earlier,’ Red said with a snort, giving the cow a nudge as he nodded towards Rusty and Akira. ‘I know them, Cheryl.’
‘Yes, Red,’ the cow replied, sounding unimpressed as it continued to chew. ‘You told me already.’
Other animals filled virtually all the seats at the front of the hall. The pets were arranged by size, as they had been in the beginner’s algebra class. The front rows were made up of lots of chairs about a third of the size of an average human chair, which were currently occupied by small animals, mostly rodents, including an impressive array of coloured guinea pigs. Behind them, the chairs were a little larger. Here sat the cats, tails swishing. Some lazed and licked at paws, others watched the mice with quivering whiskers. Rabbits were scattered among them, along with some of the smaller dogs.
Rusty’s eye was caught by the waving paw of a black cat: Gretel, the cat from the science lab. She leaned over the back of her chair, stood up on her hind legs and waved again, grinning. Rusty lifted a hand in greeting.
Behind the cats were human-sized chairs. The majority of them were occupied by dogs. Here and there, one of the teachers sat, surrounded by animals. Mr Fletcher sat on a too-small cat-sized chair, looking out of place and uncomfortable. He was absent-mindedly stroking the belly of a tabby reclining beside him as he twisted in his seat to view the arrival of the children.
‘Wow.’ Shelby’s voice brought Rusty back to the proceedings. ‘I love what you’ve done with the place, Miss Einstein. Gold is my second-favourite colour. After pink, of course.’
Rusty finally looked at the stage and saw that Miss Einstein was indeed present. Today she wore pink jeans, a black T-shirt covered in orange love-hearts and silver-sequinned joggers. She stood beside several animals.
He recognised Lavender the llama from TV. Cam the Corgi sat on the other side of Miss Einstein, but he jiggled and shuffled around as if he wanted to run laps around the stage, glancing up at her every few seconds. Near Cam was a grey rabbit with long floppy ears and a sad air. At each side of the stage, and all along the wall behind it, were heavy gold curtains. Nader Heydar sat on a tall stool at the front of the stage, the microphone on a stand before him.
Just then Bismarck pulled Braithwaite forwards to stand beside Shelby. The dog faced the animals and lifted his head proudly. ‘Smells good!’ he announced.
CHAPTER 33
A REALLY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT
After Bismarck spoke his favourite words — well, his only words — using that new, satisfied voice, the watching animals broke out into a cacophony of sound. Part animal noises, part laughter, part cheering. There were lively responses of ‘Smells good!’ from the crowd, and Nan cheekily replied, ‘You smell pretty good yourself!’
‘Quiet, quiet!’ came Nader’s voice, projected by the microphone. Rusty looked up at the stage to where Nader sat, whiskers twitching. He glared at the crowd.
The snorts and woofs and giggles finally subsided.
‘Thank you,’ said Nader in a dry voice. He looked over to the children. ‘I see you finally made it. I was just about to send out one of the beagles to find you; they can out-sniff even Bismarck. No matter, you are here now. If you would take a seat, please.’
The cat inclined his head at a section of chairs that had obviously been saved for them.
Rusty followed Akira into the nearest row. She moved along and sat beside a Dalmatian who had paint liberally splattered across his coat, giving him colourful splotches to go with his black ones.
‘From the painting class,’ Akira whispered conspiratorially to Rusty, pointing to the dog.
He nodded in reply.
‘OK,’ Nader continued as the room quietened. ‘We’ve called this special school assembly as Miss Einstein has some important news to share with us all.’
The pets started whispering. A sheep bleated, then added, ‘Sorry!’
‘I said, QUIET!’ Nader bellowed, losing some of his cool. But it worked, and the room silenced again.
‘O-K then.’ He emphasised the words, eyes roving for any who dared make a sound, but this time the room stayed quiet.
‘Before we continue, Lavender has several announcements. Lavender, the microphone is all yours.’ Nader motioned to the llama, and she trotted over to him, halted, then nodded at Miss Einstein.
Miss Einstein nodded back, then tilted her head down and looked at Cam, who sat at her feet and shook with the effort of remaining still. ‘Now,’ she said, clapping her hands.
Cam leaped up and raced offstage, returning seconds later with a folded piece of paper in his mouth. He ran to Nader, putting his front legs onto the stool so Nader could reach down and take the offered note. Nader unfolded it and held it out for Lavender to read. The llama stretched her long neck out to lean across the cat. She used her nose to nudge the microphone towards her and away from Nader a little, then looked up and smiled at the animals.
‘Thank you, Nader,’ Lavender said in her smooth voice. ‘And thank you, Cam.’
Cam dropped to all fours and returned to Miss Einstein. ‘I did it, Miss E! I did i
t.’ He whispered so loudly that everyone could hear.
Miss Einstein just smiled at him and put a finger to her lips. He gave a quick yip and settled down, satisfied with himself.
‘I’ll try to keep it quick, everyone,’ Lavender continued. ‘I’m as excited as anyone to hear Miss Einstein’s news. OK, firstly, a couple of congratulations are in order. Nan,’ she said, looking up and searching the crowd with her eyes until she located the little pig. ‘Happy birthday for tomorrow!’
The animals cheered, the pigs the loudest of all. When it quietened, Lavender spoke again. ‘Miss Einstein has organised an eighteenth birthday party for Nan tomorrow afternoon in the dining hall. We will be having all of your favourites, Nan, including English strawberries and grapes we’ve imported from Tuscany. Also, for a special treat, there will be popcorn and peanuts. And, by way of a present, Miss Einstein has asked BJ to hose a large section of the east field for you. He’ll start this afternoon so by tomorrow afternoon it should be completely and utterly muddy, and thus ready for plenty of piggy-rolling fun. All pigs are welcome to join in. We hope you enjoy your special day, Nan.’
‘OMG!’ Nan squealed, bouncing up and down on her chair so hard her glasses slipped to sit askew on her snout. ‘That’s the best present ever! Thanks, Miss Einstein! Sorry, but there’ll be some muddy hoofprints on the Albert Floor tomorrow!’
There was general laughter at that, and Miss Einstein shook at finger at Nan in mock anger before joining in. When the hall was silent, Lavender continued. ‘And now we have an award to hand out.’ She turned to the grey rabbit. ‘Could you come over here please, Reginald?’
The rabbit plodded over to stand near Lavender, his large ears flopping as he hopped across the stage.
‘Miss Einstein has awarded you Pet of the Week. She’s noted your kindness to others, particularly to the smaller animals. One of the mice — Jerry, I think it was, no, it was Terry — said you helped him when he forgot his geography textbook by lending him your own. He said you gnawed a few pages out of it, but Miss Einstein overlooked that,’ Lavender added with a raised llama-eyebrow.
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