by Dyan Chick
"That can't be it, though," I said. "From what you've said, any magic could draw in the Sodalis. Why would you think I had four Courts?"
He shook his head. "You have some of the Summer Fae qualities."
"Like?" I asked.
"Your ability to talk your way out of things, for one," he said with a smile.
"I didn't know that was a Summer Fae quality," I said. "What else?"
"It doesn't really matter," he said. "We need to focus on helping you keep your magic under the surface so it doesn't call to any more monsters."
I wanted to know more about what he thought could be attributed to the Summer Court, but I knew Cormac well enough now to know he wasn't going to tell me anything he wasn't ready to share. Hopefully, the Queen would help me figure all of that out. For now, I needed to survive. Anything that would prevent me from having to encounter another Sodalis was something I could get behind. "Channeling it is. What do I need to do? I'd really like to stop being monster bait."
"The first step in challenging is control. You'll have to learn how to cycle your magic internally," he said.
I lifted an eyebrow, waiting for more explanation. The only thing I knew about cycling was the way farmers would rotate crops.
"When your magic is near, you feel it, I'm guessing," he said. "You feel it inside of you trying to break free."
I nodded. "I do. It's like something clawing at my insides."
He blinked, looking startled by my description. "Most people describe it as a tickle. Clawing?"
"It's definitely not a tickle."
"Well, that's probably because you have multiple courts worth of magic. Fae are only meant to have one kind of magic," he said.
"What about the Brownies?" I asked.
"They have their own kind of magic," Cormac said. "Not as powerful as High Fae."
"Is that why they're treated like slaves?" I asked.
"Who told you that?"
"Tristan," I said.
Cormac shook his head. "We're working on changing that. But now isn't the time to discuss politics."
I blew out a sigh. There was so much I wanted to learn, but I wasn't going to last long if I kept attracting monsters from the Under. If the monsters didn't get me, someone would eventually end my life as Angela had suggested to keep them from returning. "Alright. Politics later. Cycling now. Where do I start?"
"When your magic surges through you, it has to have a place to go. If you don't use it, it stays exposed. It can be sensed by the creatures from the Under," he said.
"That doesn't make any sense," I said.
"It's just how things are, Cassia," he said.
"No, not what you're saying. The fact that I even had magic at all. Nani, the Brownie who hid me, said changelings are stripped of their magic. How did I even have magic for the Sodalis to find in the first place?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I don't know. But then again, I've never met anyone who naturally had magic from all four Courts. It must have been too strong to stay dormant in the human realm."
"How did the Queen get hers, then?" I'd been wondering for a while how the Queen came to have the same magic that was causing me so much trouble.
"When a Fae wins Queen's Trial, she's given the key to the ancient temples. They hold the power of how one can wield the magic of all four Courts. It's difficult to contain and control, as you're learning."
"Why don't more Fae go to the temples to gain the power?" I asked.
"It's dangerous," he said. "Raw, left unchecked, like yours, the magic could consume you. If a monster doesn't get to you first. Plus, it's well protected. We can't have that amount of power falling into the wrong hands."
I took a few steps away from Cormac, blood rushing to my ears filling them with the rapid beat of my heart. "You never said anything about the magic consuming me. You only told me about the monsters."
"I didn't want to scare you," he said.
"Trust me, I was already scared of the Under," I said. "Now you're saying it's possible the magic I have inside could be just as dangerous?"
"Listen, you survived the Sodalis. That proves that you're strong. I can't teach you how to use the magic, but I can teach you how to keep it from sending signals to the monsters as to your whereabouts." Cormac's brow furrowed in concern. "I can help you contain the magic, keeping you - not the magic, in control."
I shook my head and looked down at the dirt floor. I'd felt so much lighter after the Sodalis were killed. I thought my next hurdle was simply about meeting the Queen and getting some help. I didn't realize the magic I held was so dangerous. Before I came to Faerie, I was mourning my freedom as I prepared for a wedding to a stranger. In the last few days, I'd had glimpses of hope. Moments where I thought that things might improve. That I might have the freedom and belonging I longed for. Instead, it seemed the deeper I went, the less choices I had.
Lifting my chin, I tensed my jaw as I stared at Cormac. I hadn't gone through all of that to give up now. "Show me how to cycle."
His lips turned up in a smile. "You can do this."
I smiled back. "I'm ready."
Cormac placed both of his hands on his heart and inclined his head toward me. I followed his example, placing my own palms flat against my chest.
"Breathing is the most important thing to learn to control when cycling magic. Maintaining control of breath helps to guide the magic where you want it to go." He took exaggerated breaths in through his nose and blew them out through his mouth.
I felt ridiculous, but I followed what he was doing, keeping my focus on his dark eyes. He matched my gaze with unflinching intensity and I felt flutters in my chest again.
"Do you feel your magic flair when you're scared or angry?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. "But not all the time. It seems to have a mind of its own."
"Part of that is your mind. When you maintain calm and keep your breathing even and your mind focused, you keep the magic from rising up. Once it flairs, it has to be used. You won't be able to send it away. So this tactic, cycling, is to keep the magic simmering just below the surface. It's strategic. If you ever need your magic, you want to release it at the right time, not waste it," he said.
"That's it?" I asked, dropping my hands. "Just breathe and focus?"
"Not quite," he said. "Those are the keys. The final step is to catch the start of the flair and tie it off."
My brow furrowed. None of the magic I'd seen or felt was tangible. It wasn't too different than the knots and flutters I felt in my gut and I knew I couldn't grab a hold of those. How was I supposed to do what he asked?
"It must all seem so strange," Cormac said, his voice soft and calming. His posture relaxed and he reached for me, then lowered his hand.
I found myself aching for that unfinished touch. Why did he keep so far away from me? I knew he'd been hurt, but he had to know I wasn't going to do the same things Angela had done, whatever they were. "Cormac."
He cleared his throat. "We should get on with it, the others will be wondering about supper soon."
My brow furrowed and I opened my mouth to say something, but wasn't sure what to say. There seemed to be so much unspoken between the two of us, but that didn't make any sense at all. I closed my mouth and nodded then wondered if I'd ever have the ability to translate these strange feelings for him. And if I did, would I be brave enough to tell him what they were?
"Magic is inherent in Fae so we feel it pulsing through us almost all the time. The flair up is when your magic is about to break free. To tie it off, you have to find the pinnacle of your power. This might take some work, and practice."
"How?" I asked.
"Close your eyes," Cormac said.
I obeyed.
Warm hands pressed against the sleeves of my tunic as Cormac rested his palms against my upper arms.
I could feel him in front of me. I could smell citrus and cedar, the scent that enveloped Cormac at all times. I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he whispered i
n my ear, "Search for the source of the light you create. Imagine you are inside your head, then travel down to your neck, your shoulders, your chest, your stomach..."
He continued to speak, but my breathing was heavy now and I couldn't focus on his words. All I could feel was the heat of his body so close to mine and a rising desire that I wasn't sure I could contain. "Cormac."
Fingertips traveled down my arms, sending a shiver through me.
"Cassia, I..." he hesitated, then his fingers left my skin.
My eyes snapped open and I stared at him, bitter disappointment making my chest tighten. Why did he stop?
"Well, well, well," Tristan said. "So this is where you're hiding my guest."
Chapter Five
Embarrassment and anger surged through me in a twisting mess. Tristan strolled into the stock yard as if he owned the place. For all I knew, he did.
"And here I thought the honorable Cormac would actually be working on a training session. I should have known you weren't as pure as you pretended."
I could almost hear something snap in Cormac.
He charged Tristan, throwing all his weight onto the startled Winter Prince. Tristan landed on the ground, a cloud of dirt enveloping him like a halo. Cormac landed a punch on Tristan's face before the other male managed to scramble away from his assailant.
"Cormac!" I screamed. "What are you doing?"
Cormac stood, shoulders heaving with heavy breaths as he turned to face me. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
Tristan stood and dusted the dirt off of his white tunic. "How long have you wanted to do that, Cormac?"
"What is going on here?" I asked.
Cormac turned away from me, focusing his attention back on Tristan.
The Winter Prince was smiling and extended his arms wide. "I'm right here, Cormac. Get it over with. Everything you've dreamed about doing to me. Now's your chance."
"Stop this!" I shouted. "Both of you."
"I should," Cormac said, ignoring me. "I should make you feel the pain she felt before she died."
"Trust me," Tristan said. "There's nothing you could do to me that would hurt me worse than her death did."
"You were supposed to protect her," Cormac said, his voice low.
"You're right." Tristan lifted his chin toward me. "Why do you think I'm going along with you on this visit to the Queen? You have this changeling under your protection. It's not Lena, but at least I can honor her memory by helping you."
Cormac's hands tightened into fists and I worried he was going to charge Tristan again.
I stepped over to him and gently rested my hand on Cormac's upper arm. "Please, talk to me."
His jaw clenched and he took a deep breath before turning to look at me. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"I don't understand what just happened." I looked over at Tristan, then back to Cormac, hoping someone would explain the reason for the fight.
"Cormac, I don't know how many times I can tell you this. She was my true mate. We loved each other."
"Then you should have protected her," he said.
"Yes, I failed," Tristan said. "Don't make the same mistakes as me."
I wanted to ask for more details, but both males looked so upset I was afraid to say anything.
After several moments of heavy silence, I felt the weight of Cormac's hand on my back. "Let's go. The others will be waiting for us."
"You can't protect her from everything," Tristan called after us.
"I can try," Cormac said as he guided me toward the door.
I looked back at Tristan and caught a momentary glance of him looking completely exposed, but it didn't last. He winked at me, his usual cockiness back in full swing.
Turning away from Tristan, I followed Cormac out of the stock yards and into the street. The cold of late evening hitting so hard it nearly stole my breath. I crossed my arms over my chest in an effort to stay warmer. Despite the long sleeves of my gray tunic, cold had settled into the Winter Court. I wondered why I hadn't felt it before.
Cormac seemed preoccupied during our short walk back to the Small Palace, not even noticing the puddles on the ground in front of him. I pushed him away from the water so he didn't soak his boots and he kept walking, not even acknowledging my action.
I frowned. Cormac was sullen and often in his own head, but this seemed worse than usual.
When we arrived back at the palace, Ethan and Dane were waiting for us in a small sitting room. Both males stood when we entered.
"How did it go?" Ethan asked.
"I'll be in my room," Cormac said, pushing past the two other princes.
"Cormac," I said. "Don't."
He didn't stop.
"What happened?" Ethan asked.
"Were you that bad at cycling?" Dane asked.
I heard the door open behind me and turned to see Tristan enter the room. Hand on my hips, I narrowed my eyes at the Winter prince. "What happened back there? What did you do? And who is Lena?"
"Lena?" Ethan said.
"You brought up Lena?" The summer prince took a few steps toward Tristan and I could tell he was looking for a fight.
I turned and put my hands on his chest, pressing into the firm muscles under his tunic. "Stop right there. No fighting."
Releasing Dane, I looked at all three males in turn. "One of you better start talking. No more secrets. If we're all going to be traveling together and sleeping in the same places, I can't be the only one who is in the dark here."
Silence hung in the room and I wondered if I'd pushed too hard. After all, they were all royalty and I was just a foundling Fae they rescued. I had no right to demand anything of the males who had saved my life and were now helping me figure out how to stay alive.
Just when I was going to relent and apologize for being so harsh, someone spoke.
"It was a long time ago," Tristan said. "Before the Winter Court split."
"What was?" I asked, gently.
"The current Queen is from the Autumn Court," Tristan said. "Prior to her rule, our Queen was of the Winter Court. Which made high families in the Winter Court desirable for alliances."
"His sister was the Queen," Dane added.
"What?" I asked. "But your father rules the Winter Court. Your court left Faerie."
"After her rein ended. It's complicated," Tristan said.
"Get to the point," Dane said.
"The point," Tristan said. "Is that my heart was broken and yet, your friend, still can't find it in him to forgive me."
"We all know it's your fault she died in the Under," Dane said.
"Who?" I asked, then I looked over at Dane. "Please, let him tell the story."
"Thank you, Cassia," Tristan said. "Lena, my mate. She believed that we could strike a deal with the creatures of the Under to prevent them from terrorizing us. She went to the Under to find their ruler."
My insides twisted. I knew where this was going. "Why didn't you stop her?"
"You sound just like Cormac." Tristan managed a weak smile. "Tell me, if it were Cormac who was going to the Under, do you think you could convince him not to go?"
"No," I said without hesitation. Cormac was not someone you could talk out of things.
"His sister was just like him," Tristan said.
"Sister?"
"Yes," Tristan said. "He still blames me for her death." He glanced at Dane and Ethan. "They all do."
"So that's the reason for your bad reputation?" I asked.
"Oh no, that's justified," he said. "But I can assure you, all of my playmates have been willing participants."
I didn't understand why Cormac was still hanging on to this. If his sister had been anything like him, even Tristan wouldn't have been able to stop her if she put her mind to it. But now that I knew some of the background between the two males, I understood why Tristan was so willing to help me. "Are you really doing this to make it up to Cormac?"
"He'll never believe me, but I loved his sister. Even if it was an arranged ma
rriage. I wasn't able to protect her the way I should have so he'll have to settle for you," he said.
“So you’re trying to make it up to him?” I asked. “Why do you care?" I asked, feeling awful for saying it. The Winter Court was at odds with the rest of Faerie. It made no sense that Tristan would care.
"Because they used to be friends," Ethan said. "We all were."
"The Spring Prince is right," Tristan said. "But I'll never admit it again."
I frowned. All the effort of looking like a bad guy was all for show. I wondered what the real Tristan was like. I felt like I'd caught glimpses of what he might be behind closed doors. For a moment, an image of Tristan shirtless, sitting in front of a roaring fire flashed before my eyes. The shadows of the flickering firelight made his muscles stand out even more, accentuating his washboard abs that led down to his sharp hip bones. He was wearing trousers, but they left little to the imagination. In the vision, his strong arms wrapped around me and I could feel the bulge of his manhood against my thigh.
With a gasp, I shook my head, sending the image away. I bit down on my lower lip, hoping nobody was able to see inside my head.
"Was it a vision?" Dane asked.
I shook my head. "It was nothing. I think I'm just hungry."
Tristan was staring at me, one eyebrow lifted in question and a half smirk on his lips. "You're welcome to eat in your rooms if you like, there's a very nice fireplace in the sitting room."
My jaw tightened. Of course he knew what I had seen. He might not be able to see my future, but I had a feeling he saw that vision as clearly as I had. "No, thank you. I'd rather eat with the horses."
"That won't be necessary," Ethan said. "There's a tavern down the street. We should be in time for supper."
"You three have fun," Tristan said. "In case anyone is looking for me later, I'll be in my room. You remember the way, don't you, Cassia?"
I ignored his comment and tried not to think of what Tristan looked like with his shirt off, skin glistening with sweat. Tingles danced between my thighs and I silently cursed my traitorous body. As soon as Tristan turned and walked down the long hallway, I turned away from him.