by Amelia Lee
"I told you, I will finish within the two…." He stopped when he saw me. He thought I was the moneylender. "Sorry, I thought you are the moneylender. Is there anything important? I’m a lil’ bit busy right now." He allowed me to enter his house when I explained my intention to his house. He just said 'Oh' when I said about about Stephanie.
His house was not big, like the other house which located in a narrow alley. It has two floors with several rooms I guess. He lived alone. There was no maid, no one else. "So, you're here just to talk about it?" He said as he handed me a glass of beer. He must have been drinking. His breath smelled like a whiskey.
"Yes, if you do not mind,"
"Look, what a coincidence isn’t it? You saw me in pharmacies later that time and your psychiatrist wife have a patient who turns out the story and involving me,"
I paused, "I think so,"
"I do not think your wife should tell their patients" problems to the others. Do not they have some kind of law or ethical code, whatever it is,
not to tell the patient’s problems and all their personal problems to others?"
I was speechless. I did not know what to say. Sebastian was true, and I did not know what to respond. He continued his words a few moments later. Maybe he was bored seeing me stood frozen there. Or maybe he did not want me to mince words with him. Or maybe he did not want my presence there?
"So, Mr. Journalist, what do you want to ask? I have no many time, there are a lot of things I should do after this,"
I asked with a little shaking, "Do you live alone? I mean your parents? Sorry, I do not mean want to know your personal life,"
He came over and sat directly across from me while drinking whiskey straight from the bottle as if they were water. He crossed his legs, "Yes, I live alone now. My father had died in 2010, my mother had died first. I was not even in my father's side when he died, because at that time I was still in jail as a result of things that I did not do. That bastard was the one who denounced me,"
"Who?"
He smiled sardonically, "William. Funny, is not it? He thinks I killed Stephanie because I was scared and run away from my responsibilities because I made her pregnant. I do not even remember the last time I had sex with her, and even William does not have proof that I'm the father of her unborn child. So sad." Was he lying?
"How can he put you in jail? Does he do…"
He cut me off, "Sshh. Enough. Enough for today. I'm not in a good mood to talk about it. I'm busy." He looks a little drunk. I did not know how many bottles he drank. He got up and opened the door for me, asked me to get out. "You can go now Mr. … Wait, what is your name?"
"Fischer. Emmerich Fischer,"
"Okay. I've no more time, I'm busy," he said that although he seems not busy at all.
I said it once again before leaving his house, "I can help you Sebastian, if you want to talk about it to me. I might be able to help pay the bills of your house." I took an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and put it on the table, "Stop drinking. This will not change your situation. Good luck,"
"Wait," he said again. "You can come back here tomorrow."
I nodded and smiled thinly and walked away. He took a bottle of whiskey that I had put on the table and back to drink, looking at me as I walking.
Stephanie
March 18, 2005
After several failed suicide attempt, I was understand and aware of one thing why did God not allow me to die, even when I tried to end my life. My life changed like a bad dream when I accepted the fact that my parents will not live together anymore. And this was all because of their behavior. Playing with fire and you will get burn.
Second, Sebastian did the same like my father did behind me. I did not know how long he did it and what was his reasons. I think if he really loves me and I was the only one at least he certainly would not do that. It was clear that I was not the only one.
Thirdly, that woman, Elisabeth, the one that commit crimes just for the sake of her revenge. I realized I was wrong, I should not disturb her life, but I did really not know if she was Dorris’. Damn.
Everything was come and going like wind storm accompanied by lightning and rain. But like other natural phenomena, all the wind, storms and rain most certainly will pass too. Sooner or later, everyone will surely pass. Just like it was never happened.
I did not think my coincidence meeting with Frederick, who was once my neighbor would take me this far. He was like a rainbow that appears after a rainstorm. He gave me strength so that I can continued to survive, in addition to my parents, and gave me a reason not to give up. Even it was just in the beginning.
I certainly can not forget Sebastian that easy. I was breaking up and ended it all but I also sometimes think to give him a second chance. We was in the same school, and I could not avoid him. It hurts so much when you miss people who obviously were on your side, but you could not hold or approach them. Even calling their name.
My pride won everything. But there was still something in me that has not been able to accept his departure. "Hey, I did not think you would come," Frederick smiled when he saw me. He then let me in.
There was no people who know that I was his friend, even my parents and my closest friends alone. I was determined to no longer talk about my personal life with others, although I was just a close friend with Frederick. I was afraid of failing again if I tell someone. He was so polite and considerate. He was quite mature for his age. He was open-minded, able to look at the problem from all sides. He was quite humorous, the only one thing I did not find in Sebastian.
"It's Friday night, you're not planning to go out with your friends?" asked me.
"No. I'm not in a good mood to go and I do not know where to go." Sound of a ringing phone broke the conversation between us. "Wait for a minute," he went briefly to the kitchen to pick up his phone. He returned about five minutes later.
"Who was calling?"
"Florence. She said she will come home late today,"
I just nodded. I asked him, "Why did you decide to move?"
"Incidentally, Florence asked to move to other hospitals. And this house is quite closer to her workplace now." He paused before continuing his words, "Is it okay for you to keep visiting me like this? I will take a look to your house if you want,"
"No, do not. It’s okay."
He smiled. He walked over and sat right next to me. He cupped my cheeks and kissed me gently. But I did not kissed him back. He then stopped kissing my lips. His face turned confused and somewhat disappointed. He must have been wondering at that time. "There is a problem?" He asked me.
"No. I'm fine." I lied.
The phone rang again. This time not just once, but many times. It looks like if the caller had a very important matter. Frederick back picked up the phone, and the caller was still the same. It was from Florence, his aunt.
"I think I should leave now," I said. "It looks like your aunt really need something,"
"No, do not." He continued his words, "She will not be home tonight. Do not leave me. Stay with me, will you?"
I wanted to refuse, but I was not able to do so. My words caught in my throat. I was only able to smile.
Later that night, after eleven-three
I laid right beside Frederick. He had fallen asleep. He fell asleep just right after we done having sex. I was not able to fall asleep, even just to close my eyes. My phone must be full with calls and short messages from my mother. She asked where I was, but I did not reply. I turned off my phone instead.
It was raining outside. It turned the air into cold air, the white blanket that covered my body was not thick enough to reduce the cold that continues to fondle my bare body. Frederick fell asleep peacefully. He did not even change his sleeping position. He slept facing me. The only thing I hear now was the sound of rain falling on the roof tiles decorated by thunder that appears occasionally.
One two. Rain was falling.
Three four. I still not fall asleep.
Five six. I tried to close my eyes
.
Seven eight. I was drowning. Immersed in the dark of night and the loneliness. I was fly, like birds leaving their nests.
My eyes are wide open immediately when I heard the alarm rung right next to my right. Time showed at six ten. I slept until this morning in other people's home. If my mom knew, I'd be in trouble for not telling her where was I.
I felt the left side of the mattress, Frederick was not there. Was he woke up early? I have no idea.
I wore my clothes and go out looking for Frederick. He was not in the living room. I called his name and no answer. I walked toward the kitchen, wanted to take a glass of water from the refrigerator before then said goodbye to him and went to my home as soon as possible. I approached the refrigerator with a slightly wobbly steps. The more I approached the refrigerator, the more I smelled it. The room was smelled rancid mixed with the smell of a rotten meat. Does he put a dead chicken that were still bloody in the refrigerator? It was smells bad at all. I was even no longer hungry, instead want to vomit. I'd better buy a drink outside or have a drink at home.
I opened the refrigerator and shocked by what was in front of me. His head was severed. Frederick’s head, was in the refrigerator shelf, beheaded, while hand and his testicles were in the freezer. His eyes bulging, his tongue stretched out.
I closed my mouth with both of my hands, did not believe what I just saw. I close the refrigerator as soon as possible.
No, not anymore. Who would do that?
I hear a shouting from the back of the house. It was women's voice. Definitely Florence’s. I ran as fast as possible to her. She sat in the corner, terrified and screaming like a madman. "Hey, are you okay? Who did it?" I asked. She did not answer. She just cried.
"He… he did it." Florence said to me and pointed to somewhere right behind me.
I looked back and saw him. He stood there, holding a loaded gun that could penetrate my head whenever he wants.
He looked at me with his cold eyes. He stood there, standing proudly.
"See what I have to do because of you." He said this, and then fired the gun to his head twice before he fell to the floor. Florence screamed, so loud as if her cries were able to destroy my eardrums. He was fell and bleeding. The rancid smell back to fill the air. Rancid smell of blood. Sebastian’s blood.
March 19, 2005, morning
I awoke from my sleep with mixed feelings. My heart beats so fast. What kind of dream was that? I looked at alarm next to me, time show at five-thirty in the morning. Frederick still beside me, asleep. I have to go home now, it was still early and seems like Florence might not come back. I left Frederick sleeping without saying goodbye.
I drove my car with mixed feelings. I was afraid and confused at the same time. What was that dream mean? Was that because I missed him too much? Or was it a bad sign?
I grabbed my cell phone to call my mother. Her phone was not active. She must still have fallen asleep. The streets were deserted. It was still early. Morning dew and muddy rainwater adorned the streets and my window car. There were only a few cars passing.
Emmerich
July 30, 2014
His tomb decorated with white flowers. Most roses and lilies, his favorite flowers. He laid peacefully, very quiet in a brown coffin. He even did not look like someone who already lifeless. He looks just like someone who was asleep. Sleep. A long peaceful sleep and never wanted to wake up again. A very long sleep.
James died today. Exactly five past four in the morning, in Saint Village hospital. He went to emergency room the day before, after falling unconscious and vomiting blood. He got complications of diabetes and lung inflammation. He was eighty years old when he died. We were at his side from the beginning he went to hospital until he breathed his last.
I hugged Iris and tried to calm her, "He is okay now. He just happy right there."
Evening
Iris was still a bit upset by James’ sudden death since he was still healthy before. He even had time to come here and play with Rose. There was no indication whatsoever, but his blood sugar was already too high. It was proper if Iris felt very lost his father. But I tried kept something in her mind, that one thing for sure, sooner or later everyone will die. And in the end we will all die. Sooner or later, one by one, people we love will leave us.
And we must be ready for it.
Three days later
Thick fog covered almost my sight on the way to where I was work. It was seven past ten. Iris went back to work after asked for permit for three days. Even though just sit at home doing nothing will not make her feel better.
Today felt different from the previous day, because today I set out to use the bus instead of by car. My tire was deflated that day. And I did not think to looking for a tool to fix it or ask someone for help. I must be late. I was late getting up for about ten minutes that day. Not many things was capable I did that day. I just sit down and work as normal and try as soon as possible to get home on time in the afternoon. My life was runs like that from Monday to Friday.
Lauren came over when she saw me arrived. She smiled faintly. "I'm sorry for your loss,"
I smiled back at her, "Thank you,"
"I'll go to see my old friends and drinking along with other colleagues, want to join?"
"No, thank you."
She smiled and patted me on my shoulder. "Everything’s going to be okay."
Evening
I came home late that day. There was a lot of things to be done. Actually, I can finished the tasks whenever I want, but I was not the type of person who likes to procrastinate.
I walked in the cold night air while the wind blowing past my ears. I was planned to take a taxi when I felt someone following me since I walked through the narrow dark alley. I hesitate to turn. I kept walking, faster and faster. Faster, more faster almost like I was running. I hope to find a taxi and go home as soon as possible. The road was very quiet that day.
My feet stumbling a stone, but I did not fall. I was too quick to walk up to not look down and do not realize that there was stones that I should not stepped. I almost fell. I looked back and saw someone. He was tall and big, covered with muscles. His arm tattooed whatever the picture. I was not able to see his face in the dark of night. He was wearing torn jeans and black leather jacket. He dragged me into a deserted alley in the right side of the road.
"Give me your money now," he said as keep me with his big hands. I gave him my wallet. He took the wallet roughly and took its contents. Everything. "Give me your cell phone,"
I took out my cell phone out of my pocket and gave it to this asshole. He directs a knife at my throat, "Give me all or this sharp little thing will break your neck,"
"I have no other things, that's all." My voice sound softly, I was so weak, I could not fight him even shouted for help.
He left me and mocking at me.
What was that? Why was I so weak? Was it because his threat? I forgot and did not realize, even the knife was not sharp and long enough to cut my throat. I was too paranoid to his posture that was just like the head of the mafia members. And now all my money was gone. Luckily I did not carry any cards because if I was, I would too overwhelmed to managed it to the police.
I was thirsty, I was glad I still have enough money (it was still in my pocket trouser) to buy a can of soda. I paused at a grocery store to buy a drink.
My eyes were stunned when I saw that tall skinny guy. He was there, sitting in the corner while smoking a cigarette. Alone. He seems very chaotic. And pathetic. I wonder if he still remember me or not. It seems like fate that always brought us together. I still remember his face very well. I walked over and smiled at him. He looked at me strangely. "Do you remember me?" I asked.
He chuckled, "Of course. My mind is still good enough to remember something,"
I only replied his words with a smile and paused. I did not know what to say or ask.
"At that time you said you were going to meet me tomorrow, is not it? I think this already over tomorrow," he a
sked.
"Oh, yeah, sure, of course I still remember. My father-in-law fell ill and died so I do not have time to see you,"
"How did you know I was here? Are you FBI agent or something?"
"No, no. I did not mean to stop by here. I was thirsty and wanted to buy a drink,"
"What a coincidence." He continued his words and stood up, "you're not home? Sure your wife’s waiting at home,"
"You know I have a wife?"
He pointed to my finger, "That ring on your finger." He continued his words, "I have to go now,"
"Wait a minute," I followed him to walk out of the shop.
He put a lazy face, "What?"
"About yesterday. I can help you if you want to tell a little about Stephanie,"
It was nearly eight o'clock at night when we got home. To Sebastian’s house. "What makes you so curious about my story? You can read it on the internet, it has tons of news, even in the newspapers," he said.
"I’m just curious because William is my wife’s client and more, it happened when I was reading one of the news on the internet that showed me the picture of yours, and…"
He cut me off, "Right, coincidence. It's just a coincidence is not it?"
"I do not know, maybe like that."
He began to speak again after pausing for a few minutes. He was thinking about something in his head. "My mother died when I was child and honestly I've forgotten what my mother's face like. I was not close to her, and now after my father's death I am alone and bankrupt, living like a beggar and was not even able to pay the rent of my own house,"
"I can help pay off the rent if you want,"
"No, no. thanks. I do not want to bother other people, especially a stranger who accidentally I met in the pharmacy.” He continued his words, "It's almost nine o'clock, I have to sleep." He was really cold and not very talkative. He even seem like not wanting to talk with me. It was like something was stuck in his mouth. As there was something he hide from me. He told me to go away and leave his home.
He really seemed chaotic. And lonely.
Was he hiding something?