When a Man Falls in Love (The Depression Series Book 1)

by Amelia Lee

  Stephanie

  March 20, 2005

  I can not remember anything I've done in the last few weeks. I can not even remember what I just ate three days ago. I did not know since when I became forgetful like this. Things seemed to pass and flow. Pass without leaving a memory, except for one thing. One thing for sure was capable I remember just my dream. That dream made my thought back to him. And no matter how hard I try to forget I was sure I still can not and never be able to forget him. To forget Sebastian.

  I get ready like someone who wants to get in the surgery room. It feels tense as if I did something that violates the law and will be put to death. My heartbeat was racing faster than usual. I let my long hair loose, covering part of my face and neck. The wind blows and kissed my skin, causing a sense of comfort and cool.

  I would have loved to quickly arrive at Sebastian’s house. When was the last time I had been to his house? How was he doing? He came in my dream yesterday, at night while I was asleep after had sex with Frederick. Was this a sign of something?

  It took about thirty minutes to get to his house. He moved pretty far away from me, did he tried to stay away from me? I have no idea. I did not know and did not want to know because I did not want to hurt my heart further. The more I find out, the more I would be hurt. The fact does not seem to be as good as my expectation.

  I knocked on the wooden door slowly. I knocked many times but nobody answered. It seems no one in the house. I rang the bell, but the result was nil. It was Saturday, was it possible he was gone? Maybe he went to the shopping center with a beautiful woman whose body like an hourglass and spent money to buy her luxury goods.

  I was about to turned back my body and left his house just before I heard footsteps from inside the house. At first when I really did not hear a sound from inside the house sure I've left this house. Somehow feels lonely in there. It was really quiet even a footstep away inside the house was able to hear clearly from the outside.

  He opened the door for me. He just gave me a glimpse and went walking toward the living room. Let me standing there at his front door without saying a word 'Hi' or told me to get in. Without thinking any further, I entered and approached him immediately. He sat there, in the living room, while watching cartoons which I did not know what the title was. He was drinking and drunk. Really drunk.

  I walked over and sat beside him. I looked around the house. This house was very surprised me. From the outside this house seems to have a medium-sized and mediocre, but in fact it was so spacious and decorated with furniture that was so beautiful. I've been fooled by the exterior of this house.

  He still did not talk to me. In fact, he seemed to think I was not there. The giggling sound of the film was not able to make him laugh. Though the scene of this film was quite funny I thought, though not to make you laugh to tears, but enough to make you smile. And he was not smiling. His eyes stared at the television screen while drinking a cold whiskey in a glass.

  "Hey, it’s been a long time we did not meet," I said and I felt awkward. Awkward as I had never met him before. I tried to smile but he totally ignores me. What should I tell him?

  He kept staring at the television screen even though I knew he was not seriously watch. I took the TV remote on the table and turned off the TV. Now the atmosphere was really grew silent. Only the tick sound of clock capable I heard.

  "Are you mad at me?" I said in a low voice.

  He imbibe his whiskey and stood up, move left. I went to him and stopped him. "Are you angry with me? Hey what's wrong with you?" I asked.

  He looked at me coldly. His eyes seem mysterious and different from before. I've never seen those eyes like this before for five years I knew him.

  He sat back down into the soft sofa in front of us and back guzzling the whiskey. I stared at the empty glasses and a few bottles of beer and a bottle of wine whose contents have been gone. It seems like if he did not drink alone, there are two glasses located at the wooden table in front of me. Does he drank with his father? If I was him and his father was my father, I definitely would not be allowed to drink as much of it. Since when he become a drunker like this? We have not even left school, although we will pass this year. He seems really messed up. What has been happening to him? What have I done to him?

  First glass, second glass. He drank without even noticing me.

  The third glass, he just drank half and I held his hand, prevent him to drink more. "Sebastian, what happened to you?"

  He glared at me with a cynical look and headed toward me. For the first time in my life I felt the fear of being approached by people who I have known for years. It was not him, he was drunk and I knew it.

  He was sitting right beside me, I could feel his breath that smelled of a mixture of wine and whiskey. He cupped my face with his hands and getting rid of a few strands of hair that covered most of my face. He still did not say anything, his eyes still cold, as cold as his hands. I was scared but I did not want to move from where I was.

  He looked into my eyes and started kissing me roughly. He bit my lower lip so hard. So hard that I was able to feel a bit of fresh blood out from there. My lips were bloody. He sucked the blood with his lips and started licking my lips. My lips were wet with saliva and blood. He kept kissing me roughly, biting my lower lip and did not let me take my breath for a moment.

  My breath caught, began to run out. He did not stop kissing and biting my lips. I patted his chest with slightly power that was still in me. He stopped kissing me shortly after I patted his chest. As soon as he let go of the kiss, I inhale a lot of oxygen as if the oxygen had run out I breathe, I breathe using my mouth just like fish that was accidentally thrown into the mainland. It felt stuffy at all, he was very rude. He had never done this to me before. My lips were swollen and throbbing, I could feel it.

  I looked at his eyes with a look of resignation. The other side of me wants me to run away, but the other side of me, the darkest side of me, wanting to keep me here. I even wanted more. He kissed me on the lips for a while and then moved on to my neck. He nibbled my neck and suck, like vampires drink the blood of his victims. My neck soaked with sweat and saliva. I groaned, sighing, chanting his name like a banshee. It was really hurt but also pleasant at the same time. He continued to kiss my neck, even down to my earlobe.

  He looked back at me, those eyes, which had been cold, now all that remains was lust and lechery. He wanted more, just like me.

  He ripped off my blue shirt with a rude, take off all my clothes and threw it violently to the floor. He looked at me with a glance and kissing me back. He moved his hands, squeezing both of my breasts and playing with it. I gasped his name out loud, so loud that I was convinced someone was able to hear me. He squeezed my hair and licking my breast, and then continued to kissing my neck. It was very enjoyable. It was just lust and I could not take it any longer.

  He called me, his voice was so soft almost like a whisper, right next to my ear, "Stephanie,"

  I looked into his eyes, and kissed his lips.

  "Do not leave me again," he said quietly.

  Next day

  Time showed three past ten a.m. I looked at the room where I was with a blank stare. I could feel it was still too early to get up. It brought me back to that feel, the feeling when I waking up too early after had sex.

  I continued to replace my position in the bed. I really felt uncomfortable, and it seems to make Sebastian awoke. He actually fell asleep, certainly under the influence of alcohol as well. And now he was awake. I looked at his face, those melancholy eyes, the innocent ones, never changed from the beginning I knew him. He always looked at me that way.

  He stroked my cheek with his long slender fingers and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

  "I also apologize to you," I replied.

  "At that time, I really did not know what I've done, I…"

  I cut him off, "Shh. It's too early to get up."

  We were silent for a few minutes before continuing the conversati
on that was still rather clumsy, " My mother would cut my throat if she knew I skipped school today,"

  He smiled and paused, "Just stay with me, will you? I feel so lonely without you,"

  "I will never leave you again,"

  He quiet for a few minutes then said something that startled me, "I do not have anyone else."

  My mind instantly replied. Do not have anyone else? What does he mean? I asked him but did not want to make him disappointed, "Do not you still have your father?"

  "No." He continued his words, "No, Stephanie,"

  "Why?"

  "I do not want to talk about it now. Let the moment pass without none of that bothered us." I went back to sleep in his arms.

  The next morning

  I woke up when I felt the cold breeze of the morning poking up into my bones. That day was not like usual, it was raining quite heavy, making the air becomes increasingly cold. I turned on the television in the living room. My cell phone's clock showed eight in the morning. I sat on the couch alone, Sebastian was still asleep.

  I changed the television channel every ten minutes. It seemed bored, not because of the television show, but it was because I did not know what to do than watching television. I was not ready if to get home and answered thousands of questions that will be raised by my mother like a bullet fired at my head.

  I grabbed my cell phone back from pocket of my pants. There was five missed calls from my mother, three coming from my father, and a short message. A brief message from Frederick. He asked me to watch a movie. A horror movie, that day. I dialed his number and called him. I thought it was still early to call someone, which was probably in the school or on the way to work, but he was the type who likes to get up early. And I did not see he has a job or go to a particular school or college. He was already passed one year earlier than me, but he has not been or may even not wanted to work. And I did not know why.

  "Hello?" said Frederick.

  "Hey, sorry to bother you so early," I said with mince words.

  "No problem, I’m already wake up anyway," he said. Although I did not see his face and only heard his voice, I knew he had a little smile.

  "Sorry I did not reply to your message yesterday, I was not in the house now,"

  "It’s okay then. Where are you now? "

  I lied, "My high school friend’s home, I stayed here for one night." He did not ask whether I should go to school that day and it was really a good thing, so I did not have to bother thinking much reason should I use to lie to him.

  "About the movie, will you go with me today?"

  "Um, sorry but I can not. Other time, maybe? Not that I rejected, I’m busy with a school project,"

  "Okay, no problem."

  A man's voice from right behind me startled me, "Stephanie?" I looked behind, Sebastian standing there, wearing a white T-shirt and knee-length pants. His hair was messy, just like someone who just waking up from sleep.

  "Are you with someone?" Asked Frederick curious.

  "Yes, I'll call you back later."

  Sebastian sat down beside me, "From who?"

  "My mom." Good, it was still in the morning and I had to lie to two people.

  "Are you still mad with me?" He asked.

  I frowned, "Mad? For what?"

  He smiled faintly, "I'm stupid,"

  "What happened to your father?" I immediately asked him without thinking to mince words. I was so curious.

  He did not answered, even started to silent. He was there still, like a statue. "What is it, Sebastian?"

  "You promised not to tell anyone?" He asked.

  I rolled my eyes, a little upset about it, "how long have I known you? Are there your filthy secrets revealed because of my mouth?" I continued my words and smiled, "Even you are the one that always reveal my secret to others,"

  "So…" he said after a long exhale. He acted as if the person who would divulge a really huge secrets, it was seems very tense, as there was a big incident which he had hidden. And it turns out there was something that he kept hidden from me. "I've killed someone, Stephanie. I’m a murderer."

  I flinched. My heart was racing faster than usual. "You're kidding right?"

  "No, I mean it." He held my hands, "Promise me whatever happens, do not ever leave me again." I nodded. Although actually I was not so sure to myself.

  He continued his words, "It happened two years ago, right on Christmas Day 2002, when the snow was falling thickly. I walked down the stairs of my house, I was cold and intend to build a fire. An incoming phone startled me, I picked it up and the only sound was the voice of woman asking for help,"

  "Who was that?" I asked curiously.

  "My aunt,"

  "Tell me everything,"

  "If the time can be repeated again, I definitely would not do. I certainly would not take the call, Steph,"

  "Tell me, please, everything." I continued words, "Do not you trust me?"

  "No, I trust you, really." He continued his words, "I remember very well the time, it was past seven five, I went to an apartment where my aunt was. It was her that called me, she begged me. I did not know if it was a coincidence or was destiny.

  When I walked in, everything was falling apart. Bottles of beer lying on the floor, broken glass, and a carton of cigarettes wrapped all along with spots of blood on the floor. I heard a woman moaning in pain, I went to the source and opened the bedroom’s door. There he was, he tried to rape her.

  I can not stay silent, I tried to prevent it and separate them. I hit his shoulder with my hand until he fell to the floor. I did not intend to kill him. But I had to,"

  "And then?" I asked, more curious.

  "He got up, hit me so many times that I actually almost fainted. He was so strong. He then got up took a knife and tried to stab me. I defended myself, I stabbed his neck using glass’ shards many times. Blood flowed out a lot. He died. After a few minutes, I checked his pulse had not pumping. And when he died, I realized that this was just a trap,"

  "A trap? What do you mean?" I asked.

  "That incident was recorded by a CCTV. It was right in an apartment that belongs to Dawis, my father's rival in his property business. They ain’t friends, enemy to each other and my dad always refused to meet him even just to look at him. Dawis too, seems really do not like my father as well.

  The incident was recorded, or perhaps accidentally recorded and Dawis accidentally cut the sections where the man was attacked first,"

  "How do you know?"

  "This was just a trap Stephanie, they make me no other choice. My father finally found out about this, I've had to explain it, but when he watches the tape, he did not believe me. My father was very afraid that I will went to jail, I'm still too young,"

  "Then what happened next?"

  "Dawis gave me two choices, if my father wants the tape’s removed and as if nothing ever happened. The first one, he asked if my dad would give up his business or…," he paused before speaking again, "I’m willing to date and married his daughter, that woman who you saw at that Christmas night,"

  I flinched. I was a bit disappointed to hear his own honesty. "But he really was your father's colleague, right? How can he be so cruel," I said softly.

  He switched grabbed hands, "Listen to me, I was not able to see my father's sad. Are not you going to do anything that does not make your parents cry?"

  "Of course and yes, I know it," I replied, did not look at his eyes.

  "My aunt cooperate with Dawis, they wanted to drop my father,"

  "But why? Why all that could happen to you? To us?"

  "Money, money takes it all." He spoke again, this time his voice were smooth, very smooth like a whisper, "I'm sorry."

  I just smiled faintly.

  I spent that day with mixed feelings. Why was my life surrounded by people who are in trouble? I feel myself more tired and exhausted than before, especially for mental and emotional stress. I have not discussed anything about my illness. It was not because I did not want to, I just did no
t want to talk about it.

  Emmerich

  August 4, 2014

  He had ever killed. The chances are very great for him if he killed someone for the second time because he had ever done that before. In fact, maybe he’s an expert at that.

  I was flicked a newspaper whose paper yellowed. I accidentally found it in a pile of junk when looking for old books. It said here that the guy I met at that time, at the pharmacy, who tried to buy drugs that ultimately he can not pay, had ever killed.

  Did Sebastian killed Stephanie? If it was true, how can he did that?

  Stephanie never found after 18th August, after she went to a cinema with Sebastian. Did she really died or decided to go somewhere and leave all behind?

  "Lovely day, is not it?" The voice of a woman behind me jolted me from my thoughts.

  "Yes, it is," I say lazily.

  "There is a problem?" asked Lauren, that woman.

  "No, I'm fine,"

  "Where did you get this paper?"

  "In the pile of old newspapers, on the shelf next to it," I pointed to a large metal shelves piled with newspapers and old books.

  "Oh," she said. "You seem so interested in that news… You did not involve did you?" she said with a grin.

  I smiled at Lauren, "No. I'm just not have anything else to do really. If there’s anything I should do I will not going to read the paper,"

  "Do you believe in karma?" She asked.

  "Yes, something you do to others either good or evil, surely will happen to you too someday? Well, something like that,"

  "Well, I'm not a follower of Buddhism, but what happened yesterday really made me believe in the existence of karma,"

  "What was it?" I became interested in the conversation.

  "My friend, his father died long time ago. During his life, she never visited even think of him as her father,"

  "Why?"

  “It’s something private, I mean personal and she refused to talk about it to me,"

  "Then?"

  "She was married and had child. A daughter. And just like what she did to his father, her daughter is now somehow also leave, just leave somewhere,"