by Emma Scott
“Happy Birthday, Vi.”
“It’s beautiful,” I said, slipping it over the middle finger of my right hand. “Stunning, Shi. You’re so damn talented. I can’t wait to see you have your own store front downtown someday.”
“You and me both. There’s also an inscription.”
I took it off. Inside, she’d engraved Vi and Shi where the metals were welded together. Tears threatened as I hugged my friend tight.
“I’m going to miss you so much.”
“Me too.”
She quickly released me to move behind and help me button my dress—royal blue with a crystal-embroidered bodice and a long, sweeping chiffon skirt. In the mirror, I watched her braids fall over her slender shoulders as she worked, her eyes shining.
“I hate that you’re leaving,” she said. “We were supposed to have four more years together before you abandoned me for med school.”
“I know. It makes me sick to think about it.”
“What about everything else? How are you taking the divorce?”
“It’s for the best. At one time in my life, it would have been the worst thing to happen. Now, it’s one more torrent in a giant shitstorm.”
“That left you in the cold. I’m worried about you striking off for Texas on your own.”
“I have a little saved up.”
“Will it be enough?”
“It’ll have to be. I can’t ask them for anything. They don’t have anything.”
The reality of it struck me hard, how fast things had changed. I stood in my room that had been mine since I could remember, and it was already feeling like I didn’t belong here anymore.
Shiloh bit her lip and finished the last button. “Have you thought about maybe asking Holden for a loan?” She held up her hands at my appalled look. “I know, I know. I’d hate it too. But he’s got more money than God and doesn’t seem to give a shit about any of it. He’d give you some start-up cash, easy.”
“I don’t know him well enough to ask him, and it’s too humiliating anyway.” I shook my head, examining myself in the mirror. “No, I have to make it on my own. Maybe this is the universe’s way of toughening me up before I become a doctor.”
“When are you leaving?”
“I think I have to be ready to go when the house is sold.”
“Damn, Vi…”
“It’s better that way,” I said in a small voice. “Then I can get a job and get settled in before school starts in the fall.”
In Texas. So far away from her. And Miller. I have to leave Miller.
I hadn’t let myself have the thought, but now it was there, bashing around inside my heart. I sank down on the bed, my hand covering my mouth.
“Oh, honey…” Shiloh sat beside me and put her arm around me. “Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your makeup. You haven’t told Miller, have you?”
“Not yet. I can barely face it myself. What am I going to do, Shi?”
“I don’t know, hon. But are you sure you’re up to this Prom with River? Can’t you call in sick and come over to my place? Bibi will bake you something good to celebrate your birthday, and we can eat and binge-watch Ozark.”
Nothing sounded better, but I shook my head. “I promised River.”
Shiloh frowned. “What gives with you two? Is he blackmailing you?”
“No,” I laughed. I stood up quickly and smoothed down the front of my dress. Shiloh had piled half my hair on my head, pinning it in a messy bun and letting the rest flow over my shoulders.
“You look beautiful,” she said, standing with me. “Miserable but beautiful.”
“I’m going with the wrong boy.”
“Have you heard from your boy?”
“No. His meeting is today. All day.”
“On a Saturday?”
“They worried he would be missing school. He’ll be back tomorrow.” I turned to her. “And what about you? I wish you were going.”
“Not my scene,” she said.
“And what is your scene? Ronan Wentz?”
Shiloh looked away. “It’s complicated. I know that’s a cheesy Facebook cliché, but it’s exactly that.”
I smiled softly. “You care about him?”
“No,” she said, fuming. She flopped back on my bed on her back. “Half the time, he drives me fucking crazy, and I want to strangle him. The other times…”
I lay down beside her. “Other times you want to kiss him?”
She scoffed. “You’re going to mess up your hair.” I made a face at her, and she laughed, then took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Happy birthday, Violet. I know everything is all fucked up right now, but if you’re hellbent on going to this Prom, maybe try to have some fun tonight. Forget everything for a little bit.”
“I’ll try.”
Shiloh stuck around while my parents pretended to be a normal, functioning family. They took a million pictures of Shiloh and me, and when River arrived, they took a million more. Dad made forced jokes about not keeping me out too late and Mom looked like she was holding back tears.
“Can we get a photo of the three of us?” Dad said, handing his phone to River. “It’s a special occasion.”
She relented, and I stood between them, all of us with smiles plastered on our faces. The last photo that would ever be taken of the three of us in our house again.
River took me back to his place for another round of pictures. The contrast between his parents and mine was stark. Nancy and Jerry Whitmore fawned over us with easy smiles and real laughter. But there was a different tension in the Whitmore house. Jerry shook River’s hand and pounded him on the back, as if they’d sealed a business deal.
Nancy gave me a kiss on the cheek. “He tells me you’ve been a very sweet friend to him.”
“He’s been a pretty great friend to me, too.”
“That’s all that matters then. That you two are happy. Have a great time tonight.”
I have to say goodbye to her too.
I felt like my smile was scaffolding, holding my emotions in. If I let it fall, everything would come tumbling out.
River took us to dinner at Lillian’s Italian Bistro, where we sat across from each other at a little table for two. River was dashingly handsome in a black tux with a royal blue tie and cummerbund that matched my dress, but my mind kept wanting to mentally Photoshop Miller sitting there instead. He’d look ruggedly handsome, scruff over his cheeks, maybe in dark jeans and a sport coat and tie that he wouldn’t stop tugging at. Unpolished and perfect.
“You look very beautiful,” River said. “And Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“But you seem a little down.” He toyed with his fork. “I know you’d rather be with someone else.”
“Wouldn’t you?” I asked with a gentle smile.
He started to shake his head, then nodded. “Yeah, I do. Not at the dance necessarily but just…”
“To be with him.”
“Yeah.”
“Me too.”
A short silence passed and then River laughed. “God, what a pair we are. We gotta perk up or something. Today’s your birthday. Eighteen, right? You’re an official adult now. Welcome to the club. It’s total shit.”
I laughed ruefully. “I know it. God it feels like it hit me all at once. In the space of one day, I had to grow up and learn to fend for myself.”
“You mean going to college? I thought you were staying here. UCSC.”
“No,” I said, feeling the scaffolding tremble. “Baylor, in Texas.”
“Oh yeah? I got accepted to Alabama University. We’ll almost be neighbors.”
“You’re really leaving, too? To play football?”
“What else am I good for? I wanted to stay and work at Dad’s shop, but he won’t hear of it. His heart is set on the NFL. Maybe I’ll get to take the shop over when he retires. Then I can come back and be…”
“Home,” I said.
“Yeah.” River said. “Home.”
The dinner
was delicious. and somehow I managed to not drop one noodle onto my dress. River had just requested the check when my phone in my purse buzzed a text from Miller.
About to board the plane. Long day but they fucking did it. I have a deal. Head’s exploding. Tell you everything when I get back. Love you, Vi.
I nearly dropped the phone. Pure joy suffused me, flooding out all of the disappointment and heartache of the last few days.
River raised a brow. “Good news?”
“The best. I…I can’t even believe I get to say this out loud, but Miller got a record deal with Gold Line.”
“No shit? That’s awesome. Is it because of Evelyn’s vlog?”
“Yeah,” I said, deflating a little. “She gave him a platform. And they found him.”
I quickly typed back. OMFG Congratulations! You deserve everything good because you are everything good. I love you!! xoxo
The text was marked as delivered but not read. The plane must’ve taken off. I put the phone away.
River held up his glass. “Here’s to Miller. Rockstar in the making.”
My joy for him mixed with pain in equal measure. “To Miller,” I said. The man I’d have to say goodbye to.
Chapter Twenty-Two
At the Pogonip Country Club, garlands of lights were strung out over the walkway. The warm night was buzzing with insects and the smell of fresh flowers. Inside the ballroom, a DJ played Awolnation’s “The Best.” Couples in various shades of formalwear were dancing, huddled in groups talking, eating from the table of appetizers, or drinking sparkling cider.
“Hey, there’s Chance,” River said. “Let’s head over.”
“Sure,” I said and then my stomach tightened. Evelyn Gonzalez was in the group with Chance and a few other football players and their dates. She looked stunning in ruby red.
She gave me a brazen once-over. “Violet. You are on fire!”
“Thanks, so are you,” I said and meant it. Her scarlet dress hugged her curves, and her thick black hair tumbled down her back in waves, sparkles catching the light.
“Oh my God, did you hear from Miller?” she said. “He got the deal!”
“Yeah, he texted me.” I wondered with a pang if he’d called Evelyn first and tried to corral the jealousy.
“Isn’t it incredible?” she crowed. “Not that I’m surprised. I never doubted my boy for a second.”
My boy.
I started to ask her not to talk about my boyfriend like that, but she moved in close.
“Listen, Vi. I need to apologize to you.”
“For what?” I asked warily.
“For being cold and distant lately. Okay, fine. I’ve been a raging bitch.”
“I thought you were pissed at me for being Homecoming Queen.”
“Oh, that.” She waved her hand. “That was an eternity ago.”
I had a feeling she was being magnanimous because word on the street was that she was going to be Prom Queen and River would be her King.
“But for real,” Evelyn said. “I became caught up in handling Miller’s career, and I got carried away. But now that I’m set, I don’t want any bad blood between us. Do you forgive me?”
Before I could ask her what she meant that she was set, Donte Weatherly grabbed her around the waist and whispered something in her ear.
“Such a pig!” she laughed, smacking his arm. She gave me a little wave and then Donte swept her into the crowd of dancers.
River offered me his hand. “Want to dance?”
I forced a smile. “Sure.”
We squeezed onto the crowded dancefloor and were engulfed in the energy and music. River leaned in. “How am I doing compared to Homecoming?”
“Well, considering you never showed up for that one…”
He laughed. “I had nowhere to go but up.”
I laughed too, and we danced. One song after another, both of us trying to forget what was coming—college, separations, distance between us and what we loved. Over the course of the night, River was a perfect gentleman, bringing me hors d’oeuvres and sparkling water when we needed to refuel.
The DJ then announced it was time to reveal the Prom King and Queen, and we took our seats at one of the dozen large round tables.
I leaned into River. “Do you have your speech planned?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s gonna be me.”
“Who else would it be?”
He shrugged. “Guess we’re about to find out.”
Vice Principal Chouder took the stage, microphone in hand, and introduced Layla Calderon and her Prom Committee. The nominees for Queen were read—the usual suspects, and my name was unsurprisingly absent. I didn’t care except that it was a symptom of the failing friendship between Caitlin, Julia, and me.
Or maybe that was all a figment of my imagination.
Then Layla quieted the crowd. “Your Santa Cruz Central High Prom Queen is…”
The DJ played in electric version of a drum roll.
“Evelyn Gonzalez!”
Applause and cheers went up, and Evelyn took the stage looking radiant and triumphant. And not at all surprised. She and Layla hugged and kissed, and then Layla hung a sash over Evelyn’s dress while another girl placed a tall tiara on her head.
“It’s like a beauty pageant my little sister watches on TLC. Toddlers and Tiaras?”
I smothered a laugh with my hand. “Careful now. You’re up next.”
Layla took center stage again. “And now, I am beyond excited to announce your Central High Prom King…Miller Stratton!”
The ballroom went wild, a chorus of girls screaming and cheering the loudest.
Shock ripped through me, leaving me dazed. I looked around for Miller with everyone else, wondering if he was going to come striding through the crowd to take his crown.
“Well that’s something,” River said. “Did you know that was going to happen?”
“I had no idea.”
The cheers died down into confused mutterings, everyone still looking for Miller. Evelyn said something to Layla, and Layla handed her the microphone.
“Miller can’t be here tonight to accept his crown, but I assure you he has a very good reason.” Evelyn paused for effect. “He just signed a record deal with Gold Line Records!”
The ballroom erupted all over again, girls clasping hands and jumping up and down with excited, knowing smiles. It was irrational—they only knew him from the videos—but there was a familiarity in their reaction that felt as if they were taking something of him away from me. Evelyn especially beamed as if she’d given him to them like a benevolent queen throwing scraps to her subjects.
“Guess I’ll be playing your King’s own jams at the next party,” the DJ chimed in. “Give it up for your King and Queen, Miller Stratton and Evelyn Gonzalez!”
The crowd cheered louder, and Evelyn threw both arms in the air triumphantly.
I felt sick. A few heads turned to look at me curiously. Piteously. Some knew that Miller and I were together, but most did not. My cheeks ached to keep my smile in place as a strange feeling came over me. That Miller belonged to them. To Evelyn. She had taken possession of him, claimed his success for her own. She’d been the one who propelled him to the record deal, but the feeling in my stomach was green and twisty, and I hated it.
“You okay?” River asked.
“Fine. It’s just been a crazy couple of days.”
To say the least.
“Yeah, no kidding.” He studied me closer. “But for real, you look like you need some air. Or maybe a drink?”
“Water would be great.”
“On it.” River got up and then froze, his gaze snagging on something over my shoulder. His face hardened into a grimace, even as his eyes softened.
I turned around and saw Holden Parish leaning casually against a wall, dashing in a long coat, the collar turned up, with a vest over a button down shirt. But his shirt was loose at the collar, his hair disheveled. He scanned the scene with dull
eyes, sipping from a flask.
Then his gaze landed on River. A strange smile came over his sharply handsome features. He tilted the flask back, drained it, then hurled it at the drink table.
I jumped in my seat and River muttered a curse as the metal flask smashed into a row of sparkling water and apple cider, shattering one bottle and sending bubbly water spewing. Surprised cries rang out, and the faculty started looking around for the culprit. But Holden had already stormed out.
I looked quickly to River. His face was a mask of anguish. And longing.
“I told him I was going to Alabama…” He swallowed hard. “And that he couldn’t come with me.”
I put my hand on his arm. “Go.”
River blinked and stared down at me. “What? No…”
“Go to him.”
“That’ll make me two-for-two in ditching you at a dance.”
I smiled. “Strike three and you’re out.”
“Violet…”
“I don’t feel so well, anyway. I’m going to go.”
“Will you be okay? No, fuck that. I can’t leave you.”
“I’ll be fine. Go.” I took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t lose him, River.”
“I think it’s too late,” he said heavily, his smile sad. “But thank you.”
River kissed me on the cheek and strode quickly out the side door where Holden had gone.
I made my way out of the gym, too, stopping to talk to a few friends from the soccer team and the math club. Each conversation felt more and more forced, until finally I was able to slip out and call an Uber. My head rested against the cool glass in the car. I wanted to climb in bed, pull the covers up and get out from under this heavy sadness.
“Which one?” the Uber driver asked.
“That one,” I said. “The one with the For Sale sign in the front.”
Worst…birthday…ever, I thought and had to laugh so I wouldn’t cry.
The house was quiet. Mom was probably in her room and Dad in the den, where I could see the blue light of the TV flickering under the door. I went up to my bedroom and struggled to undo the buttons on my dress. I wiped off my make-up, pulled down my hair, and changed into my sleep shorts and a T-shirt.