by TC Matson
“Then you two need to talk,” Mom says with a smile. She leaves the room and a few minutes later she comes back with a plate covered in aluminum foil. “Take this to him.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
I don’t know why I’m still sitting on her porch. It would be easier to just leave. Send the divorce papers and walk away. Yet, here I am. I’m growing impatient. Every time I try, I’m shut down. Every time I advance forward, she pushes me back. Her decision is clear. And after today, so is mine. I’m letting go.
I saw it in her eyes today. She was completely disconnected.
Headlights light up the porch when she pulls into the driveway. Immediately, my palms begin to sweat and my heart races. I don’t want to call things off, but I know this isn’t healthy for either of us. She doesn’t want to be with me.
She blesses me with a warm smile as she starts up the stairs and hands me a plate. “Momma told me to give this to you.”
I nod. All my emotions are stuck in my throat like a traffic jam. I take a deep breath.
“Listen…”
“Declan…”
We say at the same time and it causes us to chuckle. “You first,” I say, buying myself a little more time to build up the courage to break my heart.
She tucks her hands between her thighs and looks down. “Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a teacher. I planned my life out before I was thirteen. My job. My husband. My kids. Down to the kind of dog and type of house I wanted. As I got older, not much of that plan has changed. I mean, I don’t like Jonathan anymore, so he of course lost the privilege as my picture husband.” She releases a nervous titter. “Being with you scares me. I think I’ve always had one foot out the door because I don’t know where I fit in or where you fit in. My life is here, yours is where you race. You live in Texas. I live here. The long distance petrifies me.” She blinks up to the sky allowing her tears to fall. “What if I’m not enough?”
I place the plate beside me as I scoot closer and grasp her hand. “That’s where you’re wrong. My life is where I make it. My career is where I race. If you want to be with me and stay here, I’ll move. No questions asked. We can buy the house you’ve dreamed of. Get the damn dog you want. Hell, five of them. You’re more than enough for me. I’ve never been happier or more complete than I am with you. But I can’t keep doing this back and forth. I’ve made it clear I want to be with you and to make our marriage work, as backward as it is. But your line isn’t so straight. I need to know what you want.”
“What happens when you get into stock car and your obligations grow?”
“We’ll handle that when it comes. Together.” I twist toward her, looking her in the eyes. “What do you want, Amelia? Because if I’m not in your picture and you can’t handle my life, I need to walk out of yours.”
Her nose is red, face wet. She exhales a short breath, flashing her baby blues at me. “If you walk out, I’m walking with you.” She smiles softly. “I don’t want you to leave. I want to be with you.”
Remember that idea I had earlier about letting go…forget I said it.
Cupping her face, I claim her lips. She grips the front of my shirt and deepens the kiss. It’s a desperate kiss, declaring our love for one another. I pour everything into it and feel everything from hers.
“Will you stay with me tonight?” she whispers.
I’m on my feet. As she unlocks the door, I grab the plate her mom sent with her and take it inside. I place it on the counter and then sink my hands into her hair, pulling her mouth back to mine. She slides her hands under the hem of my shirt, dragging the fabric up. Grabbing the back, I lift my arms and tug it over my head. Picking her up by her ass, I carry us down the hallway to her bedroom where we strip from our clothes.
Knowing she isn’t on the pill and we’re not in a spot to bring a child into our chaos, I snatch a condom from my wallet.
She watches as I roll it on, and then I settle between her thighs. Lacing our fingers together with one hand, I kiss her as I push in. She sucks in a breath when I fill her. Slowly, I drag in and out as our gazes meet. We stare at each other as we rock, her hips meeting mine. Raw emotions, intimacy, and vulnerability pass between us, scorching my heart with a love I’ve never felt before. It’s deep and mesmerizing, and I’d give the devil my soul if it meant being with her.
“I love you. I love you so fucking much,” I rasp huskily, looking her in the eyes and meaning it from the depths of my heart.
She squeezes my hand. “I love you too.”
A shudder runs through her body leaving a flush in its wake. She spirals off the edge, moaning loudly and clinging to me. Molten lava pools deeply in my stomach and suddenly bursts through every limb as I experience a mind-bending orgasm. I drive in, anchoring myself as I spill into her. We watch each other come undone until it’s too much and she caves, closing her eyes and mewling my name.
She’s curled up into my side, her palm spread across my stomach as I mindlessly trail my fingers over her hip. That’s when I remember.
“I’ll be right back,” I kiss the top of her head before getting out of the bed.
Digging into my front pocket of my jeans, I grab our rings and then climb back into bed with her. I take her hand and slide her wedding band onto her finger.
“All in. You’re my wife.”
She’s grinning as she looks at it. “Where’s yours?”
I open my hand where it sits in my palm. She grabs it and puts it on my finger. “And you’re my husband.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
Three weeks later…
Confetti falls around us like snow. Champagne showers us. I’m swarmed by my team as they slap my back, pulling me into hugs of celebration while hooting and hollering with excitement. Sports reporters are lined up with cameras, catching the winning ceremony. Austin, my new PR guy, rushes over to me and bro-hugs me before handing me my main sponsor’s hat.
The day I flew back, I had Janet set up a meeting with Buddy without notifying Norman. I told him everything, adding in a few extra personal details about his private affairs without his wife’s knowledge since Buddy has strong beliefs about infidelity. Just as I expected, it sent him into a rampage. He couldn’t believe Norman would pull such despicable stunts and immediately called Norman in. Thirty minutes later, I smirked when Buddy delivered the news that his services were no longer needed. I’d say he left without confrontation, but that’s a lie. I’d always wondered if Buddy knew how to back up his attitude. I got my answer that day.
The championship ceremonies take longer than a regular race win. They make a spectacle of it, which you won’t hear me complain about since all the drivers and their teams are put through hell weekly. After my post-race interview, the pictures, the trophy award, and a few TV interviews, I push through the doors to the motorhome and call my wife.
“Congratulations!” she shouts, the picture bouncing as she jumps up and down.
“Thanks,” I breathe with a chuckle. “I’m ready to come home to you.”
She’s beaming. “Just a few more days.”
Unfortunately, heading to her immediately is off the table. I’m scheduled for several sport TV slots, a few radio interviews, and a photoshoot.
“What I wouldn’t do to fucking kiss you right now,” I state.
“Soon, baby. Austin called me and gave me your flight itinerary. You land an hour after I get out of school, so I’ll be able to come pick you up.”
Did I mention Austin and Amelia get along great?
“I’m driving back to the house,” I tease.
“Nope. You’re off season now. And I’d like to make sure I make it home without suffering a heart attack.”
I laugh. “Oh, come on. That’s a little extreme.”
“You get off on trying to scare me.”
“There’s where you have it all wrong. I get off on your screams. Not your fear.”
She titters and then sobers up. “When is your meeting with the SCRA to find out if you get a contr
act next year?”
In a few weeks’ time, Amelia has adapted into my life just as much as I have hers. Her support for me is unconditional, and truthfully, I wish I could make her my manager. She can be a bit of a bulldog, and I can only imagine the number of sponsors she’d gather me.
“In a few weeks. There were a few here today. I saw them lurking in the crowds.”
“I know your dream will come true next year. You’re too good for it not to.”
We stay on the phone for another hour, weaving our conversation from my racing to her classes this semester and to everything in between.
“Oh! I meant to ask you. Why don’t you invite Milo for a celebratory party next week? I’ll invite his major crush and my parents too.”
Milo is crazy over Kirsten, but he won’t admit it. It’s not hard to see. Last time he was around her he couldn’t keep his tongue in his mouth.
“You sure that’s a good idea? Kirsten will end up castrating him if he doesn’t behave.”
“I have no doubt in my mind Kirsten can handle it. Momma and Dad wanted to throw you a party, so I figured you might want some of your people here too.”
“I love you. Just in case you didn’t know.”
“I do know. And I love you too.”
TWENTY-NINE
One year later…
I set my suitcase down beside the bed and head for the shower. Amelia will be home in less than an hour. She has no clue I’m here a day early. I wanted to surprise her… So much so, I Ubered here so she wouldn’t see my truck.
Instead of buying a house, we decided I’d move in with her while she finishes out school and finds a stable job. It’s plenty big enough with two bedrooms and one and a half baths. Perfect for us…for now. Besides, I didn’t want her to stress out when she needed to focus on school.
Freshly showered and dressed, I park my ass on the couch with a beer, counting the minutes until she arrives.
The deadbolt slides to unlock and she steps in, stealing my breath as usual. She’s in a pink blouse with jeans and open-toe heels. She took time on her hair today, which means she must’ve gone to sleep right after we got off the phone at eleven. My wife doesn’t do mornings well if she stays up late.
She sets her purse down and looks through the mail. She doesn’t pay attention to shit. She puts her phone on the counter and turns around. She yelps as her eyes land on me, slamming her hands over her mouth.
I stand, spreading my arms to the side. “Surprise.”
She sprints and leaps into my arms, raining kisses all over my face. “You’re home early!” More kisses.
“I owe you about twenty apologies for lying,” I chuckle.
She leans back, looking me in the eyes and narrowing hers playfully. “You’re a shit liar. How’d you pull it off?”
I set her feet back to the floor and wrap my arms around her shoulders, peering down at her. “Practice. I practiced in the mirror.”
She laughs and I steal the sweet sound from her by pressing a kiss to her. It’s patient but hungry as we take everything we’ve missed the past five days. Her hands slide around to my back and she hugs me.
“I’ve missed you,” she says against my lips.
“Me too.”
“I made plans with Kirsten to have dinner at her place. Let me call her and cancel.”
I grip her hand and tug her back into my chest. “Keep them. We’ll go together.”
“But you’re leaving in three days. I’m not wasting a sec—”
I shut her up with another kiss. “We’ll go together.” I smile against her lips.
“I’m not getting contracted for the truck series next year,” I announce as I pull out of the neighborhood and onto the main road.
“Are they insane? You’re the best damn driver they have. The golden boy. You’ve done—”
“Baby,” I interrupt her tangent and glance to her. “It was my choice.”
Her brows rise and mouth falls. “Oh. Why?”
“Because I’m gone too much. I make more than enough in stock cars. It’s time to close that chapter.”
Her lips twist to the side and she scrunches her nose. “So does that mean you’ll be home more? ‘Cause I’m not sure I want to share my bed all the time with you,” she teases.
“First thing I plan on doing is getting a king-sized bed. You can have an entire side to hog,” I tease back. She’s far from a bed hog. When I am home, she’s wrapped around me tightly or in my arms.
She nods. “Maybe a twin would suffice.”
I laugh. “Okay. Now you’re pushing it.”
“Is that what your meeting was for last week? Normally you know what your meetings are about, but you said you didn’t know about this one.”
“Yeah. That’s part of the twenty lies I need to apologize for.”
“Are you sure you want to stop? I mean, trucks have a special place in your heart. They got your foot in the door. We’ve made it work this far. If you—”
“You have a bigger place in my heart. I’m positive I want to quit. It’s not like I’ll stop racing all together. SCRA keeps me pretty busy.”
Her mouth curves into the sweetest smile. “I love you so much.”
We pull into Kirsten’s driveway and make our way to the door. My nerves are high, worse than any race I’ve ever had to prepare for.
Kirsten smiles and glances between us when she opens the door.
“Is it okay that I brought a plus one? He surprised me and came early,” Amelia asks.
Kirsten rolls her eyes. “Seriously? What kind of person do you take me as? But we’re halving your portion of the food. Just sayin’.”
Kirsten winks to me with a frivolous smirk and then leads us inside. “Go on to the patio. I’ve got to grab the plates and I’ll be right out.”
“You need any help?” Amelia offers.
Kirsten waves her off. “It’s paper plates, Mel. I think I can handle it.”
Pulling open the door, I let Amelia go first. Candles are littered everywhere. Soft instrumental music plays. The table is set up with a bucket of beers and wine. Amelia takes a breath looking around.
I inhale, pulling the ring out of my pocket and drop to my knee behind her.
“Hey, Kirst. Were you expecting someone else? Do we need to lea—”
She turns. And my pulse throbs through my body. Amelia covers her mouth, surprise and shock welling up in her eyes.
“I found my smile the day I was lucky enough to find you in a city full of thousands of people. Never did I know our choices that night would lead me to a forever I couldn’t picture without you in it. I can’t promise an easy life, but I can promise I will choose to love you every day. We’ve already been through so much and conquered it, coming out on the other side stronger. I’ve asked you once and you accepted. This time I’m asking again, but I want a wedding. I want to see my wife in a dress, walking down an aisle, in a wedding she truly deserves. Amelia Rossi Palmer, will you marry me again?”
Frantically, she nods and flings her arms around me. “Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.”
I slide the princess-cut diamond ring onto her finger beside her wedding band and she cries as she kisses me. Cheers and claps erupt from behind her and she spins around to see her parents, Kirsten, and Milo.
She glances to me and I grin. “I’ll need to apologize for these lies too.”
Her mom rushes to her and pulls her into a hug as her dad shakes my hand. “Thank you for helping me set this up,” I say. I called them two weeks ago and ran my plan past them, officially asking her father for permission. We did everything backward last time, so I wanted to make it right for everyone this time.
“Of course.” He pulls me into a hug and slaps my shoulder.
Milo comes and clasps my back. “Things came together pretty well, huh?”
I smile, watching Amelia showing off her ring to everyone.
“Yeah.”
He turns his back to everyone and leans closer to me. “Kirst
en is smoking ass hot tonight, man.”
I arch a brow knowing how badly he wants her.
“You’re married. Not dead. I think I may stay in town a little longer than planned.”
“Good luck. She’ll chew you up and spit you out.”
He smirks. “Boy, do I hope so.”
Amelia makes her way to me, sliding her hands across my stomach and around to my back, peeking up to me from under her lashes. “I’m not sure I can remarry a liar.” She bites her lip.
Wrapping my arms around her waist, I tug her closer. “And miss out on a lifetime of me making it up to you? Hmmm… Are you sure you want to pass that up?”
She laughs and then tilts her head. Her gaze sheds so much love on me. “I love you.”
I pull her in for a small kiss. “I love you, too.”
EPILOGUE
Three years later…
Declan lies behind me with his chest to my back and his hand resting on my stomach. Cuddling has been our morning routine since I got my own class to teach. It was his way to calm me down. After I got my BA, my teaching credentials, and passed all the state tests, my second-grade class fell into my lap. The teacher was retiring and happened to tell Dad during one of her exams. The following school year, I was setting up the room.
Suddenly, a kick and my stomach bounces his hand. His lips part and stretch into a smile. “Good morning to you, Mirabel Dawn,” he croons into the back of my head and I swear I fall in love again. Every morning he greets her just like he did our son.
Finding out about this pregnancy was just as much a surprise as before. Apparently, I fell into the one percent an IUD didn’t cover.
“Hmmm…” I roll over to face him, scooting back a bit to let my six-month pregnant belly in between us. “I really need to get up and get ready for work.”
His eyes blink open and I fall into them. “No crying over Allison’s dress today.” He squeezes my hip and chuckles.
I roll my eyes. “I hate I even told you about that. These stupid pregnancy hormones have me crying over everything.”