by Lane Hayes
“Dude, you’ve got to chill.”
“I can’t…chill. Tonight was a disaster and it’s my fault.”
“Oh brother,” he groused. “Trust me, Char. In the grand scheme, tonight was an annoying blip. At worst, it’s a wake-up call to look out for the competition. Stop fuckin’ with your own head.”
“I can’t. It’s what I do. So…who’s Mona?”
“My dad’s wife.”
“Ah. The stepmom.”
“No. I don’t call her that. She’s just my father’s wife.”
“Got it. You don’t like her.”
“I don’t know her,” he replied brusquely.
“Then why meet her for a second dinner on a Saturday night?”
“Why are you interrogating me?”
“I’m not! I…” I held my hand up and clenched my jaw irritably before turning up the music. “Fine. Let’s not talk.”
Ky leaned forward to turn the volume down again with a theatric sigh. “I’m meeting Mona because my sister begged me to, and I’m nice like that. Mona named the place and didn’t seem bothered when I told her I’d be late. And Karly must have texted me twenty times during dinner to confirm that I’d be there, so whatever the fuck this is about must be important.”
“Maybe she needs to borrow money,” I suggested.
“From me? The Bank of Ky is an unstable institution, Charizard. I’d be the last guy my friends and family would turn to when they’re short on cash,” he snorted as his cell buzzed in his hand. “Oh, cool. Change of venue.”
“No BJ for you?” I teased.
“Nope. She wants to meet at The Brewery. Make your next right. It should be one block up the street.”
“Hmm. Is your dad going to be there too?”
“I doubt it. He hates me. And don’t look so scandalized. The feeling is mutual,” he said, tapping the passenger-side window. “Drop me off at the corner, so you don’t have to look for a parking space.”
I started to obey, but I changed my mind when I saw the valet kiosk.
“I’m going in,” I announced.
“Why? Are you gonna spy on me?”
“No, I’m going to sit at the bar, order something fabulous, and try to logically sort through the mess I made. Like an adult. If I drop you off, I’ll be left to my own devices and in my current state, let’s just say I don’t want drunk me to trend on Twitter. I’ll wake up regretting a lot more than a bad dinner meeting.”
“True. Don’t do anything drastic,” he advised before opening the car door.
I slipped my valet ticket into the front pocket of my fitted khakis and flashed a quick smile at Ky when he met me on the sidewalk in front of the bar.
“Don’t worry. I’ll pretend I don’t know you. I’ll be too busy guzzling martinis to be a proper voyeur. And then I’ll go home and—”
“Do not drink and drive.” Ky pointed his finger at my chest sternly.
I bristled. “I’m not a fucking moron, moron. I’ll leave my car overnight and get a ride if I—”
“No, wait for me. I had half a glass of wine at dinner and…this won’t take long.” His voice trailed off as he peered through the arched window. “Okay?”
“Maybe.”
“What does that mean?” he asked, giving me a sharp look.
“If our timing matches, great. If not, I’ll see you Monday.”
I veered right toward the impressive wall of alcohol with glass shelves and hooked my thumb toward the bar, but he grasped my elbow before I got anywhere.
“Come with me, Char. I’ll buy you a drink.”
I furrowed my brow. “Why?”
“So I can keep my eye on you. I’ll drive you home afterward. This will go faster if you’re with me. I think she saw us walk in together. It’ll be awkward to leave you at the bar now. So just…stay with me.”
I held his gaze for a moment, then nodded before standing on my toes to glance over his shoulder. “Which one is she?”
“The brunette at the high table in the corner.”
“She’s pretty. Is there anything I should know about her?” I asked, shamelessly staring at the older woman dressed in a stylish black pantsuit with a Burberry scarf tied around her neck. Her severe bob haircut and bright red lipstick gave her a sophisticated look that went well with the expensive handbag perched on the empty barstool beside her. Based on a purely superficial observation, she didn’t seem like someone Ky would be comfortable around. He oozed a laid-back California beach vibe while Mona…did not.
“Uh…well, she’s in her mid-sixties. She’s been married to my dad for ten years, and I think she has grown kids from her first marriage. I haven’t seen her in a long time, but if she wants to talk to me, it’s probably to pass along a message from my old man.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he found out I quit the skate circuit tour to join a band and wants to let me know he thinks I’m a fucking idiot.” Ky let out a strained sigh as he rubbed his nose absently.
“I take it you don’t get along.”
“He thinks I’m a lost cause and a loser. And Mona…I don’t know about her. She’s either a saint or a nut job for putting up with him. I promise this won’t take long.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks. I’d say I owe you one, but I’m still waiting on that apology for the penis Post-its you put on my car the other day. Don’t think I forgot about that.”
Laughter bubbled inside me and came out in a very undignified snort-chuckle combo. “You’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first.”
“True. Come on.” He brushed his fingers against mine and cocked his head thoughtfully, but he didn’t move.
“We should—”
Ky bent slightly and pressed his lips to mine. It was a quick, “blink and you miss it” kind of kiss, but it packed a punch. I stared at him like a lovesick puppy for a moment. He grinned at me, then flung his arm over my shoulders and guided me toward Mona.
“Hi, Mona.”
“Kyle.” The older woman sat up taller as we approached. Her expression was neutral. Not unkind but not overly welcoming either. “You look well.”
“Thanks. So do you.”
She tilted her chin in acknowledgment. They engaged in a weird, silent standoff. I would have been intrigued if I had the backstory and a bowl of popcorn, but there was a cocktail calling my name and if someone didn’t speak up soon, I’d have to take over. I cast another curious gaze between them just as Mona turned to give me an appraising once-over.
“And you are?”
I fixed her with a frosty smile and extended my hand like a femme fatale. “Charlie. I’m Ky’s—”
“Boyfriend,” Ky said, snaking his arm around my waist and squeezing me to his side.
Ky
Yeah, that was random. I could have and maybe should have taken that word back immediately, but the apple didn’t fall from the tree. I was kind of a dick like my old man. I enjoyed seeing my father’s conservative wife squirm, and I’d made it my daily aspiration to do or say something to bug Charlie, so really it was kind of a home-run moment. That probably didn’t say much about my maturity, but I figured I’d let her stew in polite discomfort while she mulled over how on earth she’d tell my dad his son had officially gone one step too far. Knowing Charlie, he’d set her straight before she fell off her barstool anyway.
“Oh. Well, that’s…nice,” Mona said in a deliberate tone before shaking Charlie’s hand. “It’s very…pleasant to meet you.”
I’d forgotten Mona’s peculiar habit of tripping over adjectives, like her internal thesaurus had let her down. It was vaguely insulting, and Charlie wasn’t the type to let intentional grammatical hiccups slide. His suddenly radiant grin spelled trouble.
“Thank you,” he replied politely.
Mona hooked her purse on the back of her stool and gestured for us to join her. I grabbed a third barstool from the table next to hers, sitting down just as she asked, “How long have you bee
n together?”
“Mona, I was kid—”
“Seven months,” Charlie intercepted, setting his hand over my forearm. “Seven blissfully blissful months.”
I snickered at his dreamy intonation as I twisted sideways. “Yeah. That’s it. Bliss.”
“Your sister didn’t mention…this.”
“We decided to keep it to ourselves for now. I’m surprised Ky spilled the beans to you, but he’s funny like that.” Charlie fiddled with a button on my sleeve as he signaled to a waiter that we were ready to order.
“Hi, there. What can I get ya?” the young man asked, setting bar napkins in front of Charlie and me.
I drummed my fingers on the table, slyly dislodging Charlie’s hand. “Beer, please. What do you have on tap?”
I let him list the entire menu even though I always ordered the same thing. I needed the distraction to get my bearings. I knew this would be uncomfortable. I didn’t have a problem with Mona. Sure, she was a bit cold and standoffish, but I admired her poise, and I appreciated that she kept a polite distance. If she’d tried to force familial get-togethers or pretended that marrying my dad automatically meant she deserved some kind of “mom” status, I probably would have hated her. But I didn’t know her, and she didn’t know me. It didn’t matter if she thought I was gay or bi or whatever. In fact, I’d give serious money to be a fly on the wall when she told my dad she’d met my boyfriend.
The waiter took my order, then gave Charlie an expectant look. “And you, sir?”
“Oh honey, I need a martini. Here’s what I’m thinking…vodka, straight up, dirty with a twist of lemon and two olives. Your martini glasses are adorable but small. Is there a chance of serving mine in a fishbowl?”
The young man chuckled heartily. “Sorry. We’re out of fishbowls.”
“Too bad. Be sure to fill it to the brim and have another one on deck. I’ve had a day,” Charlie groused before gesturing to the half-empty glass on the table. “Mona, would you like another?”
“No, thank you.” She smiled. A real one involving lips and eyes too. Leave it to Charizard to charm the ice queen.
I waited until we were alone to ask the million-dollar question. Or circle around it anyway. “Karly said you wanted to see me.”
“Yes.” Mona sipped her cocktail, then traced the rim with a red manicured nail before turning to Charlie. “Where did you two meet?”
“We work together.”
“So you’re in a band too,” she said like I wasn’t at the table. “What do you play?”
“Nothing well,” Charlie conceded with a theatric sigh. “I play piano, but it’s not pretty. One of my dads is a professional musician. He did his best, but I topped out at ‘Bella’s Lullaby’ from Twilight. Gray thought I might be a genius until he realized Edward was to thank for it. Not that he had an issue with that. He’s all for finding whatever it takes to spark your passion, especially when it comes to music. But after two months of listening to the same awful rendition, he suggested I give it a rest. Dad was grateful Gray intervened. I played it over and over at both of their houses. Drove them nuts. But to answer your original question…I’m not ‘in’ the band. I manage the band. I’m trying, anyway. Like I said, it’s been a rough night,” he sighed, brightening theatrically when the waiter approached with our drinks. “Oh! How quick you are! Thank you.”
I sipped froth from the top of my glass and watched Mona study Charlie. She smiled when he popped a vodka-soaked olive into his mouth and let out an over-the-top orgasmic groan while I fixated on the way he dragged his teeth over his plump bottom lip. Fuck, that was hot. I adjusted my cock as Mona started a new round of questions.
“Did you say you have two fathers?”
“Yes. My bio dad and Gray, my godfather. They were a couple until I was nine or ten. I always secretly hoped they’d get back together. I’m twenty-five now and I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that it’s not gonna happen. Gray is in love with another man, and Dad is screwing his assistant.” He raised his glass in a mock toast and chuckled. “Family. Am I right? Do you have children?”
“Yes, I have two sons…”
I entwined my fingers with Charlie’s under the table. Not too tight, but firmly enough that he couldn’t wiggle away. We played a hand-holding war, tangling and untangling our fingers as Mona droned on about her accomplished sons…the doctor and the lawyer, their beautiful children, wives, and gorgeous homes somewhere in suburbia.
I tuned out their conversation and let the background music take over. The feel of Charlie’s hand in mine, the Eagles classic on the speakers, the couple at the table next to ours talking about their kids, the woman tapping her fingers repeatedly on her cell phone while glancing toward the door, glasses clinking, people laughing…and somewhere in the cacophony, I found rhythm. Human rhythm and rhyme. Other people’s worry, laughter, anxiety, desire, and depression. I could float above it and listen for the beat to reveal itself. I could create another expression that might give meaning to misery. I flattened my palm against Charlie’s and laced our fingers, tying myself to him like he was my anchor. After a while, he was.
I didn’t have to say a word. Charlie took over. He entertained Mona and flattered her, sipping his martini as he held my hand under the table for ten or maybe twenty minutes. I lost track of time. And it didn’t occur to me to think I’d chosen an odd safe haven until I reached for my cell, accidentally lifting our joined hands.
Mona pursed her lips before pushing her empty glass to the edge of the table. “I have to tell you something, Kyle.”
Okay. Here it comes. My gut clenched as I braced myself for the mysterious message, pissed that my father still had the power to unnerve me even when he wasn’t in the room. I wiped my slick palms on my jeans and waited for her to speak. She pulled her bag onto her lap and bent her head to rummage for something inside it…and then froze.
Silence.
I blocked out the voices, the laughter, the clinking of glassware, and the sound of traffic in the distance and focused on the Todd Rundgren tune playing in the background. “Hello, it’s me…” I worked out the chord progression of the bass in my head, absently wondering if Mona was about to ruin this song for me.
“What is it?” I asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.
“Your father wants to speak to you,” Mona said softly.
Yep. Ruined.
“I thought the idea of this meeting was for you to relay some kind of message. Not to summon me to—”
“He’s dying.”
This time when the silence returned, it took the music. I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean, dragging my feet in the sand. I could see the light at the surface, but I couldn’t hear a thing. And nothing scared me more than nothingness. But I knew how to undo it. Deep breath, measured exhale, clear mind, clear focus. I recited the chant over and over in my head. The harder I tried to reestablish control, the faster I unraveled. Any second now I’d gasp like a fish out of water and give everyone the crazy idea that I gave a shit. I couldn’t let her think I cared. I couldn’t leave myself open or let my mind wander down memory lane ’cause I fuckin’ hated that place. And I couldn’t—
Charlie set his hand over mine and squeezed. And just like that, I could breathe again.
I couldn’t speak, though. Not right away. I licked my lips and let out a rush of air, but there were no words attached. I tried again.
“What happened?”
“Cancer.”
“Karly told me he was sick. But she didn’t say cancer.”
Mona slid her martini glass in front of her and twisted the stem in a slow circle before continuing, “He says the doctor gave him six months to a year and that nothing more can be done.”
“I’m so sorry,” Charlie said, releasing my hand to reach for Mona’s. I frowned when he swiped a tear in the corner of his eye. Charlie was such an enigma. His ability to go from a badass, take-no-prisoners diva to an emotional mess over a man he’d never met be
fore was baffling to say the least.
“Thank you. It’s been a difficult few weeks.”
“I can only imagine,” Charlie replied in a soothing tone before sitting back on the barstool and glancing my way. “Are you okay?”
I gave a half laugh and crossed my arms defensively. Fuck. I wanted out of here. “I’m fine. Just fuckin’ dandy. Why does he want to talk to me?”
Charlie gasped like I’d just exposed myself in church. I thought he might reprimand me, but he squeezed my hand again and waited for Mona’s reply.
“Why do you think?” she retorted. She pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed her nose. “Listen, there are a few things I need to tell you.”
“No. I don’t need to—”
“I divorced your father three years ago and remarried this past February. I might not have ever known he was sick until it was too late, but…he ended up in the hospital two months ago and my name was on ‘next of kin.’ I won’t bore you with details, but I’ve done what I could to help him. Made sure he had food in the house…that kind of thing. And I advised him to call his children. He told me that he did, but I had a feeling he was lying.”
“Do you think he might be lying about having cancer?” I asked in a low tone.
“Knowing him, it’s possible. We’re friends and I’ll do whatever I can to help. However…what he really needs is to talk to you.”
Fucking hell. I bit my bottom lip until I tasted blood, then took a deep breath.
“That’s a strong word…need. He doesn’t need or want anything from me or—”
“You’re wrong.” She stuffed her tissue in her purse and pulled a few bills out of her wallet, then set them on the table before standing. “You’re a young man, Kyle. You’re handsome, you’re smart, you’re talented, and you aren’t afraid to take chances. You have the world at your feet and you’re in love.”
“Whoa, I’m not in—”
“Things change when you get older. Sometimes you lose sight of what’s important. And just as you realize you might have made a wrong turn, it’s too late to correct it. Tired words and phrases take on new meaning. What you want is no longer what you need. Eventually want and need are useless and the only thing that really matters is forgiveness.”