“We need new clothing for you,” I said.
“I can take care of that on my own, Julia.”
“Fine,” I said. “Take care of yourself. And good luck, Lexi—may this day be a lesson to you. But please hear me when I say this. I know that after what Pepper did to you tonight, your instinct will be to escalate things, but why go there? We’ve all just seen what Pepper is capable of. If you go in harder with her, how do you think she’s going to react? You and I both know that whatever she decides will only be worse for you.”
As she stood naked in front of me, Lexi simply clocked me with a glance, and when she spoke to me again, it was with a threatening tone in her voice.
“Not if I truly shut her down,” she said defiantly. “Not if I make her frightened to death of me.”
“But that’s the thing,” I said to her. “Pepper isn’t scared of you or anyone else on this show. For reasons that go far beyond her issues with her mother, Pepper is one of the toughest, strongest young women I know. And because of that, there is no way in hell that she’s going to allow you to win this war. So, why not just bury the hatchet with her now, and be done with this bullshit? For your own sake!”
“Julia, I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” Lexi said to me. “Thanks for getting in the shower with me and helping me out and all, but as you freely pointed out, you don’t represent me, you don’t guide me, and you never, ever will speak for me. And just so you know? I also have a brand that I need to serve up hard to my social media followers. Do you really think I can just walk away from this moment with my head hanging in shame? Oh, hell no. Because if I did that? I’d lose face with them, which I’ll never allow.”
“That’s your choice,” I said as I shook out my wet hair in the bathroom mirror while I continued to towel it off. “You can do whatever the hell you want, but here’s the piece of advice I’m going to leave you with tonight, Lexi. You can listen to it, or you can be a fool and ignore it. That decision is on you. But at least when I leave this bathroom, I’ll know that I can say in my heart that I’ve tried my best to school you when it comes to Pepper—and what she’s capable of doing to you. If only so my own conscience is clear.”
I dropped my towel at my feet and turned to face her, and when I did, I saw her standing in the corner of the shower, with her own towel held up in front of her as she shivered.
Was she shivering because she was cold, wet, and exposed? Or was she shivering because Pepper had completely unnerved her with her ruthlessness? Whatever the case, I knew that I’d just done Lexi a solid. I’d warned her against Pepper. Whether she took that warning to heart was on her. Because if she came after Pepper again after tonight?
God only knows what Pepper will do to her . . .
And because of that, I felt a weird kind of responsibility toward her. So, before I left the bathroom, I straightened my back and put my hands on my hips.
“Do you want to listen to what else I have to say to you, or am I just wasting my time?”
“You can say whatever you want to me, Julia,” she said with fire in her eyes. “Whether I’ll listen to you is up to me and not you, isn’t it?”
“In fact, it is.”
“Then say what you want to say.”
“Fine, Lexi, let me leave you with this. If Pepper continues to win time and time again against you, you will continue to lose face with your social media followers—and how is that going to look for you? Worse, how will it affect your brand? Because after what Pepper did to you tonight, we both know that she’s in this to win. I mean, come on, Lexi—do you really want to continue to be socially gutted by her? Because that’s exactly what she pulled off tonight, and that’s exactly what she’ll do to you going forward should you continue to try to shove her into a corner. What I hope you understand is that what Pepper did to you tonight is going to go viral, particularly when Pepper’s video of you flipping around on the floor hits the internet. So, here’s the thing, girl—entertainment reporters will cover what happened today. They already know that, in the cruelest and most public of ways, you outed her mother as an alcoholic fighting for her sobriety and her life in rehab. And because of that? It’s not Pepper who’s going to be seen as the mean girl here. That is going to be you, because people are going to feel for Pepper after the dirty way you trolled her and her mother today. You’ll see—society and social media will side with Pepper for fighting back against you. If you really are worried about your brand—which you should be—I’d be seriously worried about what you’ve stupidly set into motion for yourself after what you did to Pepper today. Because in this world, Lexi? When a child stands up to protect a troubled parent, as Pepper did when it comes to her mother? That trumps everything. When someone comes swinging at them, as you did with Pepper, the child of the troubled parent wins every time. You can mark my words on that.”
When I was finished with her, I turned back to the mirror and saw nothing but ruin. My hair was a wet mess, my makeup was running down my face, and my damp clothes clung so close to my body, they revealed too much of it for my taste. I took a few tissues from a tissue holder to clean up my runny mascara, but since I didn’t have my handbag with me, I couldn’t fix the damage. So, to hell with it. Everyone—especially Hunter—was about to see me stripped bare and raw, which after tonight, is exactly how I felt inside. But I was so worked up right now, I seriously didn’t care how anyone saw me. To hell with it all.
Take me as I am, I thought as I glanced at myself in the mirror again. Or don’t, because after tonight? I could give a damn.
“Julia,” Lexi said to me from the shower.
I looked over at her before I left the room.
“What, Lexi?”
“How do I turn this around with Pepper?”
“After what you did to her today? I’m not sure you can do anything.”
“There has to be something,” she said. “What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
“Lexi, if I told you what to do, I’d only undermine the show. It’s called The Terrible Teens for a reason, so however you choose to handle Pepper now or in the future is up to you. When I was trying to help you in the shower, I probably shouldn’t have shared my thoughts with you. In fact, if Hunter knew that I’d even gone there, he’d probably be furious with me. So? I have nothing more to say. It’s now up to you to decide how you move forward with Pepper. You two will never be friends, but that doesn’t mean you two can’t make amends.”
When I said that, all I could do was shake my head at her.
“But is that even possible at this point?” I asked. “Lexi, you are so jealous of Pepper’s money and fame, I don’t think you’re even capable of making amends with her. But you’re young. I get it. Everything in your world is about who’s more popular, especially when it comes to social media. So, why don’t you just do whatever the hell you want when it comes to Pepper. Because right now?”
I paused before I walked toward the door.
“I’m officially out of this, when it comes to assisting you. So, you know, good luck with everything that follows in the wake of this horror show you’ve created—and whatever stupid shit you might pull next. Because if you misjudge this situation, Lexi, you are seriously going to need all the help you can get to save your career—not to mention your goddamned brand—especially if people start to peg you as the mean girl you really are. Because when and if they do—which might have already happened after what you pulled today . . .” I lifted my arms at my sides. “I’ve been in this business long enough to know that if they do come to believe that you really are a mean girl? The stink of your reputation will be the end of your career the moment you exit this show.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
WHEN I LEFT THE BATHROOM and stepped into Pepper and Lexi’s bedroom, I found it empty, but everything seemed to be in order. A glance around the room confirmed that while I’d spent time helping Lexi with her bug issues, the bedroom’s carpets had been vacuumed clean and the beds had been changed wi
th fresh linens.
Curious as to where everyone was, I moved into the hallway that led to the stairs, then I called out to Hunter. Despite how miserable I looked, I was so upset by everything that had happened, I frankly didn’t care.
Let him see me at my worst, I thought. Particularly with Fox sending him that script tomorrow. Best that he sees me looking like this now rather than later in this friendship/relationship/whateverthehellship we’re in at this point . . .
“Hey,” Hunter said as he shot up the stairs and crossed over to me. I waited for him to do a double take when he saw me looking so wrecked, but instead, all I saw was concern on his face. “Are you all right?” he asked.
“Let’s just say that today can go to hell.”
He reached for my hand.
“We need privacy,” he said. “Let’s go downstairs to the Confessional.”
“Where’s Pepper?” I asked as I followed him down the stairs.
“I put the other girls to bed,” he said over his shoulder. “Pepper asked if she could have something to drink, so she’s in the kitchen now.”
“I need to talk with her,” I said. “Especially before she goes back into that bedroom, where Lexi might be lying in wait for her.”
As we approached the Confessional, Hunter called out to Pepper. “Pepper, stay in the kitchen until Julia and I can have a moment to catch up, OK? We’ll be in the Confessional, but only for a few minutes.”
“Talk away,” she called back. “Because I’m going nowhere.”
“Let’s step inside,” he said as he held the door open for me.
When I moved into the Confessional, he followed me, quickly shut the door, and swept me into his arms, holding me tightly as he murmured again and again in my ear about how sorry he was that this had happened. Despite how pathetic I looked, I could feel in his touch that none of that mattered to him, because when Hunter’s lips pressed against my own, I felt what I continued to feel when it came to him—a kindness and tenderness that contradicted how some viewed him in his past. Time and again, Hunter had proved his naysayers wrong. And once again, I found myself safe in his arms—and happy to be there.
When our lips parted, he looked at me with those startling blue eyes of his as he brushed my damp hair off my forehead.
“I’m a mess,” I said to him.
“Really?” he asked me. “Because here I’m thinking I’ve never seen you looking so beautiful.”
“That’s kind of you to say,” I said to him. “But, come on, Hunter, I—”
“I’m not being kind, Julia. I’m telling you the truth. You’re beautiful,” he said as he kissed me gently on the lips. “Inside and out. Because what you did for Lexi back there? That was nothing but kindness. Over the past month, yes, I’ve seen you look stunning in a whole host of gorgeous gowns and sexy dresses—all of which has made me crazy about you, by the way, in case you hadn’t figured that out. But tonight, by helping Lexi, you took things to another level.”
“What do you mean?”
“After what Lexi did to Pepper’s mother—and how angry you are with her for having done that—you still reached out to help her when you took her into that shower. You know my story. Because of the man and woman who adopted me, I know what kindness is, Julia, because they have showed it to me. And tonight, I saw it in you when you graciously reached out to help the other side. You’re a rare woman, Julia. I want you to know that I’m happy to have you in my life as my—”
Before he went any further, he stopped short with an odd, questioning look on his face.
“Julia, what are we at this point?” he asked me.
“Hunter—” I said.
“Please don’t throw that question aside, because I’ve come to the point where I need to know. What are we now? Because whatever it is has nothing to do with a mere friendship, or even just being hot for one another. We’ve gone beyond that, haven’t we? What we have is a far deeper connection than that, isn’t it? Something more profound? Or have I gotten us completely wrong?”
Don’t sway him. Don’t get in the way of his career . . .
“Hunter, can’t we discuss this after you decide on the script Fox is sending you tomorrow?”
His face softened when I said that.
“So, that’s it,” he said. “That’s why you won’t come clean with me when it comes to us. You’re worried about my career. You don’t want to sway me one way or the other.”
“Of course I don’t.”
“And there it is again,” he said.
“There’s what again?”
“Your selflessness, which I can’t ignore.”
“What you also can’t ignore is your career,” I said. “And I can’t ignore mine, either. Because I’ve already told you this, Hunter—I’m not leaving this city for Hollywood. New York is in my bones. And my future and my career will remain here. I’ve been honest with you about that from the very start because the last thing I want is to lead you on when it comes to us. I want to be as fair and as open with you as I can. I hope you agree that I’ve tried my best to do that.”
“Julia, I’ve never met another woman in this city who’s been as honest as you’ve been with me . . .”
“Well, you met her a few weeks ago,” I said with a smile that was meant to alleviate the tension between us.
But it didn’t.
When Hunter suggested that we should discuss Pepper and Lexi’s situation, we sat next to one another on one of the Confessional’s sofas, and all I could feel was an undeniable sense of tension rising between us as I shared what Lexi and I had discussed in the bathroom, and while he told me what had happened between him and the other girls when I was alone with Lexi.
Just moments ago, he’d asked me who we were at this point. As much as I wanted him to stay here so we could figure it out, that was for the universe to decide. Tomorrow, a script would arrive from Fox, it would be read, decisions would be made—and then the riddle of our future together would finally be solved. Either he’d stay in New York and follow through with the third season of his show, or he’d leave here knowing that it was best for him to choose another path that might change his life for the better.
Whatever the case—and how difficult it would be to not have him in my life—what this man deserved from me was the best. He deserved a woman who would let him go so he could achieve his dreams. Regardless of how much not knowing how this would turn out unnerved me, I refused to stand in his way. I was firm on that. And since we hadn’t been sexually intimate with each other, I hoped that my heart would heal a little bit faster should he decide to go . . .
“I NEED TO TALK WITH Pepper,” I said to Hunter after we’d finished catching up on the evening. “I need to see how she is, I need to hear what’s going through her head, and after I’ve listened to her, I’ll have a better idea of how she plans to deal with Lexi going forward—which we both need to know.”
“Julia, I want you in my life,” he said as he reached for my hand.
And I want the same . . .
Girl, get ahead of this . . .
“Hunter, can I ask a favor of you?”
“Of course you can,” he said as he stood in front of me.
“Promise me that when you read the script tomorrow, that you’ll think long and hard about its merits before you decide whether to direct it,” I said. “There can be no me involved in your decision. If the script is shit, toss it aside. But if it’s solid or if you think you can improve upon it, you need to seriously consider whether to direct it, because doing so might take your life to the next level. That’s all I’m asking of you right now. Hell, that’s all I want for you right now.”
“Don’t you want us?” he asked me.
You already know I do . . .
But despite how I felt about him, I tried my best to keep a straight face.
“I’m not going to answer that.”
“I think you just did . . .”
“Hunter, come on—give me a break here. I’m try
ing to be my best for you.”
“You’re as stubborn as you are unwavering,” he said as he kissed me sweetly on the lips. “But just so you know, I already know that you feel exactly what I feel for you. It’s on your face, it’s in your eyes, and it sure as hell is in the way you kiss me. But I get it—you want the best for me. You don’t want to get in the way of my career, which I hear and I appreciate. But since you’ve gone into shutdown mode in an effort to protect me from myself, can you please just do me this one thing before we leave here tonight?”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Can I kiss you again? But this time in a way that will let you know exactly how I feel in my heart about you?”
“Hunter, I don’t think that would be a good idea—”
“Well, I do,” he said as he cupped the back of my head with his right hand and drew me in close to him. When we kissed, this time there was something different about it, which I could feel in my heart and in my gut. Because this time? When our lips collided against one another? It felt weirdly like a parting kiss to me, probably because neither of us knew what was barreling our way tomorrow. Because of that alone, we went all in when it came to that kiss. And as we moved in deeper, I could feel his excitement for me pulsing against my thigh, which made me want to say to hell with all of this now so he could finally make love to me. When his fingers slipped through my damp hair, he held me even tighter, and when he did, our tongues crashed in a dance that was so ridiculously off the charts, I almost wanted to cry.
And then I did—not much, but a little. My breath caught in my throat, and I could feel it tighten and constrict as thoughts of losing Hunter to Hollywood made me nestle my head in his chest.
“Julia,” Hunter said as tears spilled down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him. “Try to ignore them. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“How can I ignore them?” he asked.
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