Making It, #2

by Christina Ross

  “Apologize?” Pepper said with a pair of raised eyebrows. “Well, if that’s the case, that alone suggests you’ve come to your senses, that you’ve thought long and hard about what you did to my mother, and that in the meantime, you must have taken down all of your sordid social media posts about my mother. Am I right about that, Lexi? I mean, my phone is in my pants pocket. I can certainly check to see if in your enlightenment, you’ve taken down those posts. So—shall I check? You know, if only to see how enlightened you’ve become?”

  Christ, she’s quick, I thought. And the way this shit is unfolding between them? They are both being beyond believable, which is a blessing . . .

  “I haven’t gotten around to doing that yet,” Lexi said, likely wishing she’d thought of doing so before she’d entered the kitchen. “But I will now.”

  “Well, bless your heart, hunty,” Pepper said with a roll of her eyes. “How about if you apologize to me after you’ve done it? Because if it hasn’t even occurred to you to do that for my mother yet, then there’s no point in me hearing an apology from you now.”

  “There’s plenty to be said here,” Lexi said after she pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket, turned it on, and started to smash the screen with her thumbs before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked back at Pepper. “There,” she said. “The posts are gone.”

  “Good,” Pepper said. “Then if you must, let’s get this over with. Clear your conscience, Lexi. Go thee to the baby Jesus! Say whatever it is you feel you need to say to me, but please do so quickly, OK? Because if I have to look at your bug-bitten face for even a minute more, I’m going to hurl, which won’t be a cute look for the cameras.”

  “My face doesn’t look that bad,” Lexi said.

  “Girl, please. Check yourself in a mirror. But since you’ve always been delusional when it comes to your looks, why stop now, right?” Before Lexi could answer, Pepper held up her free hand. “No need to answer, because what I really need to know is this.”

  “And what’s that?” Lexi said.

  “Isn’t it obvious?” Pepper asked. “What I want to know after today is why in hell would you ever go after my mother? Since you posted that she is indeed in a facility working hard on her sobriety—which no one should be ashamed of if they’re seriously trying to get well, as my mother has been doing for the past month—you nevertheless chose to ridicule her at most private and vulnerable moment. You chose to shame her and attack her when she is at her weakest. I understand if you want to come after me, Lexi—but my mother? Who has done nothing to you? That’s just something even I can’t wrap my head around. Because as aggressive as I can be, even I wouldn’t have pulled that kind of stunt on your mother, bitch. Why? Because I don’t know her. Because she’s done nothing to me, just as my mother has done nothing to you. My mother doesn’t know you, she’s never interacted with you, she has no beef with you. And still you decided to go there with her today. And I have to wonder why. Did you feel that humiliating her would humiliate me? Because if you did, what you need to know is that what you did today has only humiliated you and your character. So, fuck you and your goddamned apology. I mean, give me a break, Lexi—why should I believe in whatever apology you have for me now? I think the only reason you’re here is because I fought back against you. I laced your bed with hundreds of earwigs, and because you know I can and will do a hell of a lot worse to you if you ever decide to screw with my family again, you’re just running scared right now—as you should be. So, let me ask you this, you pathetic wannabe whore. Is this apology of yours coming from your heart—which I seriously doubt it is, since I’m fairly certain you don’t have a heart? Or is it coming from a place of fear?”

  “It’s coming from the former,” Lexi said with steel in her voice. “Because after a lot of thought, I do feel bad about what I did to your mother. But just so you know, Pepper, each of us is in a position of power here. We both know that I can do a lot worse than I did to you and your mother today—and you can trust me on that. If you want, we can continue on with this bullshit—or we can end it right here and now. We still have two more months when it comes to shooting this show. And because we’ve been forced to room with each other, at this rate, one of us is probably going to wind up dead if we don’t put a stop to how we’re behaving toward each other.”

  “Put a stop to what, Lexi?” Pepper asked coolly. “The fact that when I first arrived on set, you already had it out for me and wanted to tear me down?”

  As if you didn’t have it out for her, Pepper, I thought as I looked on.

  “And yet you decided to go there even though you and I had never met in person,” Pepper continued. “You only knew me from the popularity of my YouTube videos. So, please—tell me. Why do you hate me? What is it about me that’s crawled under that bug-bitten skin of yours? Could it be that I’m prettier than you? Richer than you? More popular than you? And that I have a YouTube makeup channel that has turned me into a social media megastar? Could it be that you’re jealous of me?” Pepper cocked her head to the side when she said that. “You know what, Lexi? I think the issue between us is that that you are jealous of me.”

  Lexi rolled her eyes and shot Pepper a look when she said that.

  “Hunty, please! I am so not jealous of you.”

  “Then why are you flushing right now, Lexi? And why is it that you couldn’t even look me in the eyes when you said that? I think you are jealous of me. And it’s because of your jealousy that you’ve had it in for me from the first day I stepped onto this set. The cameras don’t lie, sweetie. Everyone watching us right now just saw the truth on your face and in your eyes. So why don’t you just admit to it if you really do want to fix this ‘relationship’ of ours?”

  “God, you’re an impossible bitch,” Lexi said.

  “And what are you, Lexi? Oh, let me stab at a guess. One jealous bitch, that’s for sure.”

  “You think you’re so great because you’re the daughter of a billionaire!” Lexi blurted out.

  “And here comes the truth,” Pepper said in a voice so low, I wasn’t sure that in Lexi’s heated state, she even heard it. “Go on, Lexi. Please, spill the tea . . .”

  “You think you walk on water because you have such a big, fancy social media following. You think your shit doesn’t stink because you have a successful YouTube channel. You think you’re better than the rest of us because you’re the one who has the billionaire for a father. And worse than that, you thought you just could waltz into our show and own it even though I’m the one who has emerged as the show’s star. You came here wanting to steal that away from me. You came into this show wanting to target me! But just so you know, Pepper? Despite your fame, your looks, your money, and your following, nobody here likes you. The girls don’t like you. The staff doesn’t like you. And because of that? When it comes to this show? The crown still belongs to me.”

  “Ha!” Pepper said. “Darling, when the second season of this show airs in the fall? You and I already know who the crown will belong to then. Because when it comes to this season? I’ve already stolen it away from you. And since you follow social media as closely as I do? Even you know it.”

  “Please,” Lexi said.

  “You know it’s true,” Pepper said dismissively. “Over the past month, my social media presence has grown substantially whereas yours has barely moved. I now have over eighty million followers across all channels, which I know comes as no surprise to you since you pretty much stalk my ass. When this show goes through the roof in the fall, it’s only going to be because my millions of followers are going to be eager to see me in action. And because every one of them adores me as much as I adore them? They are totes going to be Team Pepper—and not Team Anyone Else. You know it. I know it. And this show knows it. I mean, there’s a reason I’m being paid millions to be on this show, which you sure as hell can’t say. Right, queen? Didn’t think so. It’s because of my fame that this show is leaning on me to turn it into the show it should h
ave been from day one. And we’ll succeed in doing so, but only because I’m on the show this season. Can you say the same?”

  “You’re always going to be the girl born with the silver spoon in her mouth, aren’t you?” Lexi asked.

  “And what the hell does that mean?”

  “I don’t know,” Lexi said. “As you pointed out earlier, you’re the one who’s been to the best schools. Can’t you figure it out? Or did you miss a few classes, and your own IQ isn’t quite as high as you’d like to think it is? Shall I spell it out for you . . . ?”

  “I see where you’re going,” Pepper said. “You think that being born into my family has made things easy for me, right? Is that it? Because if that is it, let me set you straight. I love my parents, but it’s no secret to anyone that they’ve had their share of serious issues, most of which have only made my life more difficult than it ever needed to be.”

  “You’re the daughter of a fucking billionaire,” Lexi said dismissively. “Cry me a river, Pepper. You’ve always had it easy. It’s because of your parents that everything you’ve ‘earned’ in your life has really been handed to you.”

  “Is that what you think?” Pepper asked.

  “In fact, it’s what I know,” Lexi said.

  “Then I feel sorry for you,” Pepper said. “There are millions of people who think they know me, but they don’t really know me—and you’re no better than them.”

  At that moment, Pepper’s face flushed. But this time it didn’t flush in anger. If only for an instant, I saw vulnerability creep into her eyes, which misted with tears before she quickly tried—and failed—to blink them away.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Lexi asked.

  “Just shut up,” Pepper said.

  “What’s with the tears?”

  But Pepper didn’t answer. Instead, with an overwhelmed look on her face, she simply turned away from Lexi.

  “Something serious is about to happen,” I whispered to Hunter.

  He stepped closer to me, which pretty much did me in, because despite all of the drama that was unfolding in front of us right now? Just having him closer to me was apparently enough to make me want to wrap my arms around him.

  And what am I to make of that . . . ?

  “Shit’s about to go down,” he said to me. “And it’s going to get real.”

  As Pepper smoothed her fingers through her hair, her eyes became unexpectedly bright, and I had to wonder after all that had taken place today, if Lexi had just pressed her to her breaking point.

  I knew for a fact that Pepper was concerned about her mother’s well-being. And, while Pepper was one of the strongest young women I knew, I also knew that all of us are human, and that each of us has our limits.

  When she signed on to do the show, she never could have anticipated that her mother’s alcoholism would be outed to the press. As I looked at Pepper, my heart broke for her, because I knew by the wounded look on her face that she felt that she was the one responsible for Lexi’s decision to shame Savannah. If only because of Pepper’s association with the show . . .

  “Turn the cameras off now,” Pepper said to Hunter. “I’m not doing this on camera.”

  “Pepper, I can see that you’re upset, but you knew the risks when you signed on to do this show,” Hunter said to her in a calm, kind, and measured voice. “We’re telling stories here. Some of those stories are difficult to tell. I feel for you now, but I still need you to continue your conversation with Lexi. Because when it comes to my job? Your job? Lexi’s job? Anyone else’s job? We have a show we need to put out, and as I told you earlier, that happens now.”

  “Jesus Christ!” she said in frustration.

  “Did I touch a nerve, darling?” Lexi asked mockingly.

  The moment Lexi went there, Pepper’s eyes filled with rage and fire, she dug in—and she dug in hard.

  “You did,” she said as she used her index fingers to swipe tears from beneath her eyes. “So, congratulations, Lexi. Good on you for bringing me to this point.”

  “And what point is that, Pepper?” Lexi asked with malice in her voice. “Please, tell me. Hell, tell the world. I mean, come on—at this point, everyone would love to know how I could bring a coldhearted bitch like you to tears . . .”

  “You’re just another person who believes that money cures everything, aren’t you?” Pepper said.

  “It sure as hell hasn’t hurt your career,” Lexi said. “I mean, I can only imagine the kind of money your father has paid in online advertising to promote your stupid makeup tutorials. They sure as hell didn’t take off on their own, that’s for sure.”

  “Actually, my father hasn’t given me a dime for my social media following, Lexi. I earned all of it on my own.”

  “Of course you did,” Lexi said dismissively.

  “You know what, Lexi?” Pepper said as she squared her shoulders and came back into herself. “I could give a damn what you think about me or my success—but I am here to tell you that when it comes to those videos, my father contributed nothing to them or to their popularity. But let’s get back on track. Let’s get back to your comment that everything has been easy for me since I happen to be the daughter of a billionaire, which is something you sure as hell know nothing about. First of all, I grew up in a household in which my parents grew to hate each other right in front of my eyes, which crushed me. Second, as you’ve made perfectly clear to the world today, my mother has substance abuse issues that have plagued her ever since my father decided to divorce her. Third, my father has never been a proper father to me. Yes, he’s given me food and shelter, but when it comes to spending time with me? To being emotionally there for me? To saying that he loves me? That sonofabitch has never been there for me. Not even when I needed him, when I was at my lowest. Does that sound like an idyllic life to you? If it does, then you’re a sorry piece of work, Lexi, because all that means is that you’re simply fixated on the money. So, let me end with this, because this is what you really need to know about me. When you’re the daughter of a celebrated billionaire, everyone thinks that you must live a gilded life by association. But I’m here to tell you that when it comes to me? That’s been far from the truth. Consider the shame that comes from the fact that everyone knows your father chooses to spend his time with prostitutes over his own daughter. And then there’s what my mother is going through now. How difficult is that on her—and also on me? If you think my life is easy, Lexi, then listen to what I’ve just shared with you, and reassess your opinions of me if you want. Because I have to ask you this—if you were dealt the kind of bullshit I’ve been dealt in my life, how would you have handled it?”

  For a moment, Lexi was rendered speechless. As Hunter took another step closer to me, I watched Lexi’s face and had to wonder what she was thinking. Did she believe everything Pepper had just said to her? Was she studying Pepper to determine whether she’d been lying? After what felt like an excruciatingly long moment, I saw Lexi’s face soften—and when that happened, the shift that hit the room was seismic.

  “You have no relationship with your father?” Lexi asked her.

  “Not really. I mean, yes, he agreed to come to New York to be my proper guardian while my mother worked on her well-being. But to be frank with you? He only wants me on this show so that he can brag to his friends that his daughter is about to become a star—and not just a mere social media star, which means nothing to him. What matters to him is television. And probably also film, because that’s just who he is, and how he thinks. He didn’t come here to support my dreams of making it on this show, Lexi. He came here to secure his belief that everything he touches or makes—which would be me in this case—always turns to gold.”

  “Isn’t he proud of what you’ve accomplished,” Lexi asked.

  “How would I know?” Pepper asked. “For the most part, he doesn’t even take my calls.”

  “What has he said to you since he’s been here?”

  “That’s the thing,” Pepper
said with a trace of hurt and anger in her voice. “I’ve only seen him once since he arrived in the city. You know, when he scheduled a thirty-minute meeting between us, during which he laid out how important it was that I ‘win’ when it came to this show. Whatever the hell that means. Otherwise, I’ve heard nothing from him. I mean, I’ve tried to call him, but he never answers. I’ve texted him in an effort to see him again, but for whatever reason, he ignores my texts. And that hurts in more ways than you could ever know.”

  “I’ve never seen you like this,” Lexi said.

  “Yeah, well, maybe because after today, you’ve pushed me to my breaking point. Ever since I was old enough to understand who my parents are, I started to build brick walls around my heart in an effort to protect myself. Generally, when people meet me, all they really see in me is the potential for a money grab should they manage to get close to me. Does that sound like a happy life to you?”

  “No . . .”

  “Well, it isn’t. Throughout my life, nobody has ever seen me as somebody who might be a good friend to them, and they sure as hell have never seen me as a human being. Have you ever experienced that?”

  “Over the past year, I have,” Lexi admitted to her. “Especially after the success of the show. I mean, when it comes to our age group, everyone watches the Teens . . .”

  “And people want to be friends with you because you’ve emerged as the show’s star, right? How does that make you feel?”

  “To be honest? Sometimes I do like the attention. And I’m not ashamed to admit it, because much like you, I didn’t get much attention from my parents when I was growing up. Instead, I was pretty much raised by nannies while my parents lived out their glamorous social lives. But other times—especially lately—I’ve started to question all of it. After only a year on this show, I’m beginning to wonder who my real friends are, especially when my real ‘friends’ are constantly posting photos of us on their social media feeds, but now with hashtags that say stupid shit like #ImHangingWithAStar. You and I both know why they’re doing that.”