by Alisa Adams
“I see, looks like we’ve got another mute. Well, better seen and not heard. You can help out in the stables. A big strapping lad like you would only get in the way in the house,” she said, and then moved on. Bryan tried not to appear too visibly relieved, and he now realized that he would have to refrain from speaking entirely to stay true to this lie. But at least she had believed him, and at least he wasn’t going to be turned out.
Shortly after this he was shown to the stables with a couple of other men, while the other servants were taken inside. He was met by the master of the stables, a cheery man called Stephen. He wore a smile and had a calm nature, which soothed the horses. Stephen described their duties, and also the rules.
“You can eat in the servants’ quarters, but other than that you aren’t allowed in the house. Elsa runs a pretty tight ship and she’ll know if any of you traipse dirt into the house. It’s better if you stay out here anyway, less likely that you’ll get in trouble. If you see any of the Browne family don’t speak to them unless they talk to you first. As long as you keep to yourself and do the job you’ll be just fine. The horses are all good beasts and they’ll be good to you,” Stephen said.
The stables were huge, containing enough horses to carry the garrison of guards and serve the family’s needs. Bryan wasn’t sure that he had seen this many horses in one place before, and at least he knew how to do this work. He was a little frustrated that his position didn’t grant him access to the house, but at least he wouldn’t be put in a position where he had to speak to anyone or possibly run into the grey-haired man.
He moved carefully, making every effort to hide his sword from view, but eventually he realized that he wouldn’t be able to carry it around with him at all times without it being seen, and no servant should have a sword. The stables were big enough, and there was enough work to be done that he was given plenty of time to himself, so he was able to find a place to hide his sword. He found a loose board in the wall of the stable and pried it open, placing the sword inside. He was hesitant to take his hand away, for this was the last link he had with his ancestors and if he lost it he would never forgive himself, but he knew for the sake of his disguise he had to leave it in a safe place.
It felt strange not having it around his waist, as though he was naked without it. He was defenseless too, and he hoped that he was not going to find himself in any trouble.
Later on, he was taken with the other servants to eat food. They were served simple soup and bread, with a bit of meat on the side, and they were given a mug of ale. It was simple food, nothing like what he’d seen the girl and her family eating during their feast last night, but it was filling food and he was grateful for it after a hard day’s work. His muscles ached and he was looking forward to sleeping, but always his eyes were looking for opportunities to sneak away.
Everyone had assumed that he was a mute, and other servants even introduced him as the Mute to new people he met, which meant that he was never in any position where he had to talk, and that meant he could listen. There was nothing the servants liked doing more than gossip about their masters and he learned a great deal about Thomas Browne, his brother Nathaniel, and his daughter Catherine.
Catherine was a beautiful name, and he thought it fit her perfectly. He sipped the thick broth and chewed the tough meat, dipping the bread into the soup occasionally. The warmth spread through him and he kept his ears open to the conversation that chattered around him. The servants certainly had no love lost for Nathaniel, and much of the chatter was regarding the wound he had received.
“I heard that he fought a wild animal,” one servant said.
“Nonsense! That man would never put himself in harm’s way. Have Alfie or Pete said anything?” another one asked.
Other servants scoffed. “Like they’d tell us even if they did know the truth. You know the guards would be sworn to secrecy, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Nathaniel finally angered the wrong person. With the way he acts it’s been a long time coming!”
There were gasps and mutters of astonishment at anyone speaking against Nathaniel like this. While he wasn’t the Lord of the estate, he was still a powerful man and everyone in that room knew that if they crossed him he could make their lives a living hell. However, although they were surprised, Bryan noticed that none of them were disagreeing with the sentiment. It was clear that Bryan’s first impression of the man had been an accurate one.
“I pity poor Catherine. The word is that her uncle is going to be picking her husband,” one girl said. Bryan’s ears pricked up at this.
“Surely that’s her father’s job?”
“You know that Lord Thomas is more concerned with hawking and hunting and feasting than he is with the finer points of politics. Of course he will have the final say, but Nathaniel is the one who is going to present the choices to him. I don’t think that man can comprehend anything but cold, hard logic, and I do not believe that finding a suitable love for Catherine will be much of a priority for him. I don’t think he’ll care one bit how any man will treat her, just so long as it improves the family’s standing in the eyes of the King.”
“Such a pity, for she is such a compassionate and kind girl. Sometimes I think these noble girls would be better off as servants. At least we get to choose who we marry!”
“I’m sure the fine clothes and large houses more than makes up for it.”
The conversation turned to the merits of being a servant versus being a part of the nobility, and of the nature of marriage, but Bryan lost interest after he learned that Catherine was going to be sent away to be married. From what he gathered, a husband had not been chosen yet, but it was only a matter of time. A pain stabbed at his heart as he thought of another man courting her, winning her heart. He knew that he stood little chance of winning her affection, but he at least wanted the chance to look her in the eye and tell her everything he felt. Now it seemed as though he was against the clock, and given what he’d seen Nathaniel do to poor Janie, he didn’t doubt that he would make a poor choice regarding the man who was going to become his niece’s husband.
Bryan finished his meal and followed the other servants to his sleeping quarters, which were located in a small building attached to the main house. He slept in shared quarters and was kept up all night by some rather loud snoring, and by thoughts of the future. It seemed cruel to him that he should be given such a vision of beauty and such a sweeping feeling of love when it seemed destined to fail. Fate could be a cruel mistress in such a way. What good was loving a girl like Catherine when she was living in another world to him? And he was certain that he did love her. Although they had barely exchanged any words he had never been more certain of anything else in his life. His thoughts were consumed with her and every fiber of his being needed to be with her. Getting revenge on Nathaniel had become less important. He needed to see Catherine and reveal his feelings to her, and he knew he had to do it quickly because the longer he stayed there the more the pain would increase, and the greater were the chances that his true nature would be discovered. It had already been difficult not to speak when Catherine and Nathaniel had been mentioned, especially when he was the only person in that room who knew the truth about what happened.
One person had correctly guessed that he had been cut by a Highlander, and all of them pitied the man who had wounded Nathaniel.
“He was never the most handsome to begin with, and now his chances with the fairer sex are going to be even less. Whoever wounded him made an enemy for life. If Nathaniel ever finds him he’ll make his life miserable,” Stephen said, who had served the Browne’s for a long time. Bryan had learned from working with him (Stephen had a propensity to talk a lot while working, and in this way he reminded Bryan of Hamish, and Stephen didn’t seem to be put off by the fact that Bryan couldn’t contribute anything to the conversation) that he had been on the estate since he was a boy. His father had died in an accident a few years back and Stephen had taken over his position as master of the stabl
es. He seemed to enjoy his life, and he mostly kept to himself, as he didn’t like getting mixed up with the nobility. He did as he was told and that attitude had never landed him into trouble.
“That he will, I imagine he’ll be killed in an instant,” another servant said, but Stephen shook his head slowly.
“Oh no, other men might well do that, but not Nathaniel. He’ll throw him in the dungeons and make him crazy, and then he’ll string him up for all to see, humiliating him publicly, pushing him to the brink of death, and then he’ll keep him alive, barely, torturing him, until finally he is driven crazy. Nathaniel is a patient man when it comes to things like this and he won’t be afraid to take his time. He’s going to try and destroy a man’s soul before it ever gets to God. There was a man here a while ago, a prisoner. I can’t remember his crime, but he had done something to upset Nathaniel. He was forced to live in the dungeons for a long time and Nathaniel made sure that he was never given regular meals to eat. Sometimes he wasn’t allowed to eat for days and we were under strict orders not to pay attention to him. I think Nathaniel wanted that man to think that he had been forgotten, as though the whole world had turned against him.
“Well, time passed and we all started wondering when Nathaniel was finally going to show the man mercy. He never stopped wailing and crying and whimpering. Occasionally Nathaniel brought him out to walk and the man was so weak he could only crawl like an animal. Nathaniel forced him to eat his food from a trough. The prisoner pleaded with all of us to help, but Nathaniel threatened us, forcing us to remain mute and silent. Then he led the prisoner back down to the dungeon, and after that the whimpering stopped.”
“Nathaniel killed him?” someone asked.
“No. Nathaniel would have dragged out the torture even longer. When we hadn’t heard a peep out of the prisoner for a few days he sent some guards down to investigate. They found a corpse. The man had been driven so crazy that he smashed his head against the walls until he died, all to save himself from any more of the torture. I don’t know what his prisoners do, but I pity them. Nobody deserves that treatment.”
Stephen’s description sent a chill down Bryan’s spine, and he thought that if anyone deserved to die it was a man like Nathaniel. Bryan had spent his life chasing down bandits and criminals, and the sense of meting out justice gave him satisfaction. It made him feel as though he was making the world a better place, that he was making a difference, but in the end he wondered if it really mattered. He had been chasing petty criminals when a man like Nathaniel could live a privileged life without anyone checking his monstrous behavior. Because of his position he could get away with anything, like trying to force himself on the daughter of a farmer without suffering any consequences, and Bryan didn’t think it was fair that he had to wait for judgment in the afterlife. A man like him should be punished now. And to think, a man like him was going to be choosing Catherine’s husband.
The thought made Bryan sick.
And so that’s what he thought about when he should have been sleeping. His stomach churned and his heart was sick with the thought that another innocent, lovely girl might have her life corrupted by this man, albeit in a different way than Janie had been. He had half a mind to grab his sword, make his way into the house, and run Nathaniel through with his weapon to spare anyone else from his cruelty. But his father had always taught him to be smart, and Bryan knew it wasn’t worth throwing his life away.
The following day, Bryan was paired with Stephen again.
“I like spending time with you Bryan, it’s nice to have a little peace and quiet, and don’t tell the others but you’re the hardest worker I’ve had around here for a while. Between you and me, if you keep your head down you could do well here. I know it’s easy to complain about our lot in life, but it’s not all bad really. It’s not as though we’re going to accomplish much anyway. All we can ask for is a humble home and hopefully, one day, a family to call our own as well. You know, sometimes I look at that estate and I think to myself I’d love to have the prestige and power that comes with it, but then I think of all the burdens that come with it, and I think that perhaps I’m happy with my lot in life. I have the stables to take care of and that’s enough for me. In truth, I’ve always been happier with horses than I have with people. I suppose that’s the thing with men like you and me, we’re down here on the grounds and they’re up there, and there’s never any hope of us being like them. Sometimes it makes me wonder what I’d be like if I had been given that life. Would I be the same if I was noble?”
Bryan nodded, indicating that he had asked himself that question many times before as well, but he couldn’t tell Stephen that he was actually a descendent of a noble line, and that if his ancestors had made better decisions he might be living in a castle as impressive as this estate, although he doubted that he would have enough clout to win Catherine’s hand in marriage. After all, he was still a Highlander, and the blood between them and the English was not supposed to mix.
Bryan had formed a plan for that evening. He was going to sneak away during dinner and find Catherine’s quarters. He didn’t care how long it was going to take him to find her, he couldn’t wait any longer, so after dinner when everyone was talking he slipped away. The good thing about him being considered a mute was that nobody noticed him.
He made his way out of the kitchen and walked quickly, although not too quickly that he might arouse suspicion. From the conversations he had overheard he had learned that Catherine was a wonderful young woman, and everything he’d found out about her had only endeared her to him more, but he was tired of hearing things secondhand. He wanted to see her for himself. Gripped by the force of love, he was propelled forward and nothing was going to stop him.
There were a few times when he had to duck into doors to prevent himself from being seen by guards. He passed through wide hallways and along walls that were adorned with paintings. There were many of a woman who looked a lot like Catherine, and he supposed that it must have been her mother. He had only been in this place for a short time, so he hadn’t managed to gather too much information, but he was aware that there was no Lady Browne so he imagined that she had died, although he didn’t know how. Her presence was still keenly felt in the house, though, because of these paintings, and he only wished that he had something similar so that he could know what his mother looked like.
He’d managed to piece together a rough layout of the house from making a note of who talked the most fondly of Catherine and piecing together their movements, as well as taking long walks around the outside of the house to try and map the layout as best he could. At one point he realized he had taken a wrong turn and had to hurry back the way he came, avoiding a group of guards as he did so. He ducked into a room and waited for them to pass, breathing a sigh of relief as the tension within him dissipated.
As he grew closer to seeing Catherine again he grew worried that things might not turn out as he had planned. He had no idea what he was going to do after he had seen her, or how she might react. If she raised the alarm he would stand no chance of escaping. His life was in her hands, but he remembered the way they had looked at each other and when he thought of this his anxieties were quelled. He was certain that there lay something between them, and that she would not reveal his presence to her uncle or father.
As to what would happen after that, well, it was left to the fancies of a young man. All he wanted was the chance to touch her, to caress her delicate skin, and speak with her for a while. He thought that after that he would be content to leave and return to his homeland, and perhaps try and find a shadow of the love he felt for her. In truth, he had spent so much effort thinking about how he was going to get to this point, he didn’t know what he was going to do afterwards.
Eventually he found her chambers and pressed his ear to the door. He couldn’t hear any sound from within, so he knocked lightly and, when nobody answered, he pushed the door open and closed it behind him.
Her chambers were lar
ge and more comfortable than anything he had ever seen. There was a plush bed with golden sheets stretched upon it, a dresser with glittering jewels and a mirror, a cupboard standing in the corner, and a thick rug under foot. In one corner of the room, beside the bed, was a vase filled with colorful flowers, and these filled the room with their sweet aroma. At the rear of the room were two wide doors that led to a balcony. He walked out and gazed at the view. To think that this was the view she woke up to every morning…it was beautiful and astounding. He wondered if she realized how lucky she was to have this vantage point.
An intruder, he moved through the room knowing that he shouldn’t have been in there, and yet unable to tear himself away. This was a window into the mind, the life of a girl that had consumed every waking thought of his, and some sleeping ones too, ever since they had met. He felt the softness of the sheets, gazing in wonder at the slight indentation left by her head. He traced the outline and thought how beautiful she must be when she slept.
He moved over to the dresser and marveled at the sparkling, twinkling jewels and gems. They would only ever accentuate her beauty, of course, because nothing could ever be as bright as the light in her eyes, but they befit a woman of her stature. He was so entranced by the jewels that he almost didn’t notice the door handle being turned, but just at the last moment he did and, not wanting to be discovered in case Catherine wasn’t alone, he ducked behind one of the long curtains that hung by the wide doors and held his breath.