by Alisa Adams
“I would rather nae think about it again,” Janie said. Catherine’s heart went out to her. There was an air of despondency about her. Janie’s face was pale and even when she smiled there was no light in her eyes. It was awful to think that her uncle could have been responsible for this. “But there is one thing ye can dae for me,” Janie said quietly. Catherine tilted her head inquisitively as Janie walked towards her and lowered her voice.
“Take care of him,” she said.
Catherine furrowed her brow as Janie continued. “I had hoped that he would stay here, but I knew he was never meant tae. He cares for ye, I can see that.”
Catherine nodded in understanding. Janie was only a little bit younger than her, and she could well imagine how Janie would have been swept away by Bryan’s appearance. Out here it was unlikely she got to meet an array of men, and a young girl like that would have been yearning for a strong man to take care of her. Now it made a little more sense; Janie’s unease around Catherine wasn’t only because of Nathaniel but also because Catherine had Bryan’s attention. There was nothing that Catherine could say to make Janie feel better, but she did hope that somewhere along the way Janie would find someone who could offer her happiness. She seemed a sweet girl and deserved nothing less.
Catherine left Janie to her own devices and returned downstairs, hating the fact that nice people like these had their lives turned upside down because of her uncle. She and Bryan stayed there for a little while longer, but didn’t want to spend too long there as it would give their pursers a chance to catch up.
They took some supplies with great thanks and loaded the horse with food, water, and blankets. Catherine thanked them effusively. In return, Hamish’s family wished them well, and then once again she and Bryan were riding away.
They rode in silence and went at a quick pace as the horse had enjoyed a rest, but after a little while they slowed to a more casual pace and returned to riding through the forest.
“I was hoping to go to the place where we first met,” Catherine said.
Bryan smirked. “Sorry lass, I thought it was best we continue north. I’m sure we can get back there one day. That place will always have a fond place in my heart. It was the place where I saw the prettiest lass in the world.”
“I hope you mean me and not Betsy,” Catherine teased, and then thanked him. “Looking back now, it seems strange that that day should have been so monumental for us. I had no idea that anything out of the ordinary was going to happen. I was just by the stream, minding my own business when suddenly you approached, wounded and scared.”
“I hae nae idea if I could trust ye,” Bryan said.
“And I had no idea if you were an honorable man or not.”
“I suppose it’s fortunate we were able tae find out.”
Catherine smiled and turned her gaze to the distance. “It makes me wonder what would have happened had we never met that day. Our lives would have gone in separate directions, and we would never have known this…whatever this is between us,” she said, her heart racing with excitement and nerves as she gave voice to her feelings. So far, whenever they had been together, they hadn’t been able to enjoy their time together as they had been torn apart, and although they were being pursued, at least now they could enjoy each others’ company.
Catherine continued holding him tightly until they decided to stop off for some food, taking their rest in a shaded glade, hidden from the world. The air was cool, and the jewels on her fingers sparkled as they caught the shards of sun that came through the ceiling of trees. As they opened the pack of food that Martha had given them, a small bird hopped up to them and looked at Catherine inquisitively. She tore off a crumb of bread and threw it towards the bird. It opened its beak, snapped its neck back, and gobbled the bread down, and then chirped with delight.
Catherine giggled and rested against Bryan’s chest.
“I know these are not ideal circumstances, but sitting here with you in this place, it is wonderful and it makes me think I could stay here forever.”
“Ye may well tire of nae haeing a roof over ye head, especially when the rain comes down,” Bryan said.
Catherine paused for a moment and spent some time watching the bird as it hopped about, begging her with its eyes for another crumb of bread, and she duly obliged. She placed her hand down on the green grass and felt the soil under her fingers.
“Do you regret coming after me? It would have been easier for you to stay here.”
“Aye, nae doubt it would hae been safer for me and I would nae hae been thrown intae a dungeon, but I could nae hae lived with myself. What ye uncle did was a crime and I hae tae chase after him, and knowing that ye were in his clutches…I could nae stand by and let him get away with any of this. And, well,” he looked sheepish, “meeting ye did something tae me. I felt like I hae tae come after ye, as though I would always regret it if I did nae.”
“I think I know what you mean. I would have always wondered what would have happened if we hadn’t seen each other again. I felt something come over me when we met, and I know that I would have felt guilty about thinking of a mysterious Highlander when I should have been a devoted wife. I never knew such strong feelings could happen so quickly, and without any warning at all.”
“Me tae lass,” he said. Their gazes met and Catherine felt that same transcendent feeling ripple through her again, the same one that had been present when they had first met. Time seemed to stand still, and once again she was struck by the force of the feeling inside her. On the surface they made an incongruous match as they were from two different worlds, and if her head was ruling her decisions she would have turned away, for all logic suggested the two of them would never work well together. But, she wasn’t ruling only by her head, she was also going by what her heart told her, and what every instinct of her body was telling her. She trusted Bryan and every time she looked at him she was pulled by the same desire, the same attraction. She felt as though her mind was being peeled apart, as though he was working his way inside her soul and exposing her to the elements, making her vulnerable and weak, and yet strong too. The rest of the world melted away as she gazed upon him and there was him, only him, and suddenly her lips had parted and then she felt the rush of his breath as their lips locked and the sounds of the forest faded away, replaced by the thunderous harmony singing inside her mind.
His lips were firm and tender, his hands rested against her narrow waist and squeezed gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung onto him, sinking deeper and deeper into the kiss, letting the warmth spread through her body. These tingling sensations were unfamiliar to her and yet seemed entirely natural. The middle of her body throbbed and a deep, sensual ache thrummed through her. She caressed the thick sinews of his forearms and sank onto the ground, feeling the soft grass envelop her. She moaned softly as she ran her fingers through his thick hair and felt his beard scratch her face. She felt so small in his arms, so petite, so delicate, and yet for all his vaunted strength she knew that she would never come to harm while she was with him.
“Oh Bryan,” she moaned, and then something inside him suddenly seemed to awaken. He pulled away from her and looked into the distance. Catherine reached out for him. Confusion reigned inside her, wondering what on earth could have changed his mood so abruptly. She reached out for him again, but again he turned away.
“Bryan, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“This…this is…we should nae dae this. Nae when we are on the run. We hae tae be focused. We cannae let our attention slip,” he said.
“But I thought you…I thought you liked me,” Catherine said in a meek voice. She looked down at the grass and began pulling up a few blades, ripping them apart.
“I dae Catherine. I like ye more than I’ve ever liked anyone, and believe me, there’s naething more I’d like than tae share this with ye, but we cannae be distracted until we’re safe.”
“And when are we going to be safe?” she said sharply, flashing her eye
s at him. She had made herself vulnerable to him, had begun to enjoy the feeling of being close and intimate with him yet he had jerked away. Had she completely misinterpreted everything?
“I don’t know,” he said after a pause. “In time, when we can be sure that nobody is chasing after us.”
“But when will that be? The reason I escaped was to enjoy my life the way I want to, not to delay everything good!”
“I dinnae ken! I dinnae ken how long your family is going to chase us for. I dinnae ken who we can trust, or what we’re gaeing tae dae for money. I dinnae ken what’s gaeing tae happen,” he said, his voice fraught with fear. His face was haggard and his eyes darted about furtively. She tilted her head and looked at him more carefully, seeing his weary features and the way his shoulders slumped. She stepped closer to him and lowered her voice to a soft tone, placing a hand on his cheek.
“I don’t expect you to know everything Bryan, but if all we do is run then surely there was no point in us escaping. There has to be some end goal you have in mind. I know I wanted an adventure, but I didn’t expect to be running across the Highlands for the rest of my life.”
All he could say was that he didn’t know.
“I hae nae plan when I chased after ye, it just seemed like the right thing tae dae. And now…” he spread his arms out wide and looked at nature. “Even I was getting tired of this life before I met ye. I wanted tae put down roots somewhere, but where? I hae naething tae my name, naething tae give ye. I should hae known better. This life is nae for ye.”
“How dare you,” Catherine said, her words harsh, her face glowering. “How dare you stand there and act like you’re the one responsible for me. I made this choice myself. I knew what I was getting into, and it may not be like anything I’ve experienced before but I’m willing to learn. I don’t mind getting my dress dirty and sleeping under the stars, but I would like to know what we’re running towards, rather than just running away from my uncle. Part of the reason why I came with you was because you could offer me some excitement, but it was more than that as well. I feel something for you, something deep, and I know I definitely don’t want to run away from that, but what was the use of helping me escape if you’re going to remain distant from me? I don’t want us to be like strangers or traveling companions. I want us to be more.”
She let her hand drop down his arm and stroked his palm with her fingers. His fingers responded and they entwined like vines.
“I’m not saying that you have to have all the answers,” she continued, “but let’s talk about where we want to go and where we want to end up. I’m not the first English girl to make it to the Highlands. Perhaps we can go to them for help? Have you heard the story of Sarina? She was a noble girl just like me. She was married to a Highlander, and she might take pity on us if she knew our plight.”
But Bryan stared at her blankly. “I may hae heard rumblings of such a marriage taking place, but I dinnae ken any names. I would nae know where tae start looking,” he said. Catherine was despondent. It seemed as though they had nowhere to turn, and the world was closing in on them.
“We’ll find somewhere Bryan, I know we will, and I know that it won’t matter where we are as long as we’re together. That’s the most important part to me,” she squeezed his hand a little more tightly. “What do you want to happen at the end of this Bryan? If anything could happen, what would it be?”
“I dinnae ken Catherine, what could happen? I hae nae wealth, nae—”
“Never mind all that,” she giggled, “just pretend that absolutely anything could happen. Where would you like to end up?”
“As the Laird of my own land, with a beautiful wife by my side, and wee children running about my feet. I want tae look out at the world and know that I hae my place, that I belong. I want tae hae a home.”
“Then let’s find a home together,” Catherine said, smiling sweetly at him. She rose on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips, which he returned with passion. She melted into his arms as they wrapped around her and felt close with him again.
“You don’t have to carry these burdens by yourself anymore Bryan. We’re together now, and no matter what we face we never have to face it alone.”
Bryan smiled at her and kissed her again, even more deeply. They sank to the ground and their hands roamed around each others’ bodies, giving into the desire that sprung from their souls. Fire danced in their eyes and she was sure the heat from her body was powerful enough to scorch the ground. A whimpering moan escaped her lips as she felt her back hit the ground, her hair splayed out underneath her, and Bryan rolled on top of her, his weight comfortably squeezing her body.
She gasped at the intensity of the feeling and the inexorable nature of the sensations. It was as though it was relentless, and although nerves rippled through her body she was also quickly becoming delirious, as though she was losing her mind. A smile widened on her face as Bryan’s hands ran along her waist and hips, reaching her thighs. She squirmed and whimpered. Her legs parted automatically as she felt arousal seize her and then she heard a crack, and the muffled sound of voices.
Her gaze met Bryan’s and she saw the same panic in his eyes.
They pushed themselves up and listened more carefully. They could hear English accents. Bryan cursed, Catherine was frightened, and at that moment they were completely exposed.
“Come on,” Bryan said, grabbing her hand and dragging her into a thicket. On the way, he pulled the horse along with him and they disappeared into the thicket, the thick leaves shrouding them.
19
Panic flared in Bryan’s mind as he heard the voices of the Englishmen. The desire and arousal burned out, although the taste of Catherine still lingered on his lips. He hated the idea of being on the run, and loved the idea of being in a home with Catherine by his side and a family all around him, but how could he even contemplate that happening when they were being hunted by the English at every turn? He thought he’d put enough distance between them to afford them more of a respite, but evidently they had either spent too long at Hamish’s home, or the English had ridden harder than he expected.
Catherine walked quickly, but then Bryan stopped her abruptly and gestured for her to crouch down with him. He patted the horse’s flank, hoping to calm the beast down. Moving would only attract more attention. They had to be silent and hope that the English would pass.
Bryan kept his breathing low and measured, and peered through the gaps in the leaves as he saw the English guards approach. They looked mean and tired, and were casting their glances around with menace.
“Surely we can go back now?” he heard one of them say. “There’s no sign of them. They could be anywhere.”
“No, look at this,” another guard said, bending down, placing his hand on the ground where Bryan and Catherine had most recently been laid in. “They’ve been here recently. And you know our duty. We’re not to return until we’ve found them.”
“But I don’t like it up here. I can tell that we’re not welcome. Do you see the way people look at us?”
“It doesn’t matter how they look at us when we have these,” the guard rested his hand on his sword. “Now come on, let’s keep going. They’re close, I can smell them, and I can also smell the reward we’re going to get for bringing them back. This is going to be the making of us John, we’ll do this for Nathaniel and he’ll see that we’re set up for life. I feel bad for the girl, but maybe it’s a blessing for us that the Highland brute took her captive.”
“I just hate to think what a man like that is doing to her. What kind of man is going to marry her when she returns?”
“That’s even if she does return. He might have already killed her,” the other guard said. They moved away and returned to their horses, riding off in pursuit of Bryan and Catherine. Bryan waited a few moments before he exhaled deeply and stood up.
“Well, I suppose we know that they’ve got their mission,” he said.
“And they’re not going to s
top. I can’t believe that they’d think you’d kill me. Uncle Nathaniel must have poisoned their minds. I’ve a good mind to go and order them to stand down. I hate that they can’t understand why I would want to run away.”
“At least we know they’re close. We’ll have to be extra careful now.”
“What are we going to do?”
“There’s a town near here. We can stay there for the night, and then try tae sneak away further north. Honestly, how long dae ye think ye uncle will keep searching for ye?”
“I do not know. My uncle and father both want me back, for different reasons. If I could talk to my father I’m sure that I could convince him to let me live the way I want, but my uncle…he will not take this slight lightly. I can only imagine how angry he is, and how shamed he will be in front of Lord Ralls. It is more for the sake of their egos that they want me to return rather than having me back safely, and even then I’m sure that Uncle Nathaniel must realize that I helped you escape. He would have found the guard’s body outside the dungeon and realize what I had planned.”
“Aye, but whether he told ye da that or nae is another matter.”
They tentatively walked out to the road and made sure that there were no Englishmen waiting to ambush them, and then got on the horse, which they had named Whisper, and rode to the nearest town. They barely spoke on the journey as both of them were tired and filled with tension. Moments before the English had arrived they had been talking about the possibilities of the future, but then it had been apparent that the future they imagined might well never happen. Bryan tried to take to heart what she had told him, but he couldn’t help but worry and wonder if they would ever get to a point when they could relax and enjoy just being together.
He took the blame on himself as well. It had been his decision to chase Catherine down to England when he could well have left her to her own life. Surely even a loveless marriage would have been better than being dragged around the Highlands, and yet for some reason Catherine seemed quite content. He had been waiting for the moment when she finally grew tired of this, but it hadn’t happened yet, and he was impressed by her resolve. She may have been an English lady, but she had the stout heart of a Highlander.